SoberLife2014

Sounds like you have some serious reflux problems. Could definitely be caused by excessive alcohol consumption. A trip to the doctor would be a good idea!

Skye2

Well, you never have to go through this again if you don't want to

Sydney1988

I've had reflux problems before. Didn't know wine could hurt me in another way.

SoulKat

Dry heaves. If you're not suffering from a hangover, you should get to a doctor.

Skye2

The power of ethanol huh Regardless of what it's disguised in.

Sydney1988

I don't want to. But this is such a big step and I don't know that I'm ready to take it, I have so much fun when I'm "fun". But when I'm awake. When I know what's happening to me, I'm not sure it's so fun. This may sound strange, but it just came into my head. I want to get off the ride, but the ride is going so fast and it's so much fun.

Skye2

Yeah I can understand and remember being at that point myself. As times goes on though, you realise that it just isn't worth the after-effects. You've made the first step - signing in here - keep reading and posting

Sydney1988

I think the worst part is that I know I'm going to wake up in the morning and do the same thing. Perhaps even worse is that I know a drink is going to male me feel better.

sugarbear1

the drink you take may be masking something serious.

maybe see a doctor and not drink so your body can heal?

Skye2

The thing I found was - once I knew I had a problem, I could never 'unknow' it and relax and enjoy booze again. Keep reading SR - I literally clung to the forum that much at the start that I must have been posting more often than the mods
We are all here for you pal - hang in there, yeah?

Sydney1988

This is F**ked. I'm totally wasted right now. I know what I'm doing to me is bad, but I can't stop. I just want more of the thing that is hurting me. How can I say no when what I want so bad is doing all the pain?

Riel

Throwing up in the morning is a pretty regular thing for alcoholics. If all you have in your stomach is bile that's what you'll throw up.

It becomes problematic because it becomes very difficult to keep booze down. If you keep on this path, you'll learn what projectile vomiting is.

Sydney1988

I find it so odd that I'm taking comfort in a strangers words. But I am. I want to stop, but it's so delicious.....

Skye2

You are seeing life through the bottle right now pal - and it's a depressant whether we realise it, or not How about trusting SR and trying to give it a day off tomorrow (you can always tell yourself its just for 'today') and see how you feel when things are a little clearer in your mind?
A good start would be to drink as much water as poss before you go to sleep

resolute50

Alcohol is only a temporary solace my friend.
It becomes a double edge sword that takes more than it gives you.
Do whatever you can to stop the madness. Get help if you can and want to.

I know cause I was in the same boat you're in now. Days begin to run into each other and there doesn't seem to be a way out.
Today is 200 days since I've had a drink. You can do that as well.
You are here chatting with us,that's a start.

Sydney1988

The support is surprisingly comforting. Thank you. I'm going to sleep. Let's see what tomorrow brings. One day at a time, that's what they say right?

stayonthepath

This was where I was this time last week. I KNEW I was swallowing something that was damaging me but the taste of whiskey is very seductive after a few gulps. I could even feel my kidneys getting sore. Resolute50 is right to call it a madness - you're literally mad for the drink, whatever the cost to you.

Hope you get some decent sleep and check in here tomorrow to let us know how you are.

PurpleKnight

Throwing up bile is not particularly fun . . . alcohol is a serious business and can eventually kill . . . when it comes to alcohol something has to give!!

firstymer

When I was drinking heavily, I would wake up in the morning and have the dry heaves. Sometimes it was just for a minute or two. Sometimes it would continue until I threw up. Bile or food. Or my morning coffee. In my case, it was stress related. I was never so stressed as I was the morning after heavy alcohol consumption. Between the guilt, the hangover, my interrupted sleep and my messed up blood sugar levels, my morning stress levels were horrible. So, what did I do to deal with the stress? I drank. And so continued the cycle. Day after day.

In the 5 1/2 months since my last drink, I have not thrown up once. Not once.

For me, that is reason enough (among the 429 other reasons) not to drink again.

Good luck, Sydney1988.

Deckard

Reminds me of this great passage from the Big Book:

"Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.

"On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn’t he?

"You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it?…"