Dee74

That was my experience Ally, Steam - it's small comfort while you're in it - but all this really is worth it so long as you toe the line and have faith things will come round.

They do.

D

allport

Toe the line and have faith Dee are you 12 stepping me

HideorSeek

I was at a meeting last night and the topic was fear. Fear or anger or any other uncomfortable emotions are what I drank to avoid. The fact is that they are part of life and sobriety is learning to deal with them BY OTHER MEANS. Not easy, to be sure, because our patterns and habits have a really strong hold on us. Like you Steam, I am trying Yoga and Meditation to find peace and happiness within myself. For too many years, I sought happiness and peace outside of me, and of course, that doesn't work. People disappoint, life disappoints...it's just the way it is and we have to come to terms with that. I don't mean to sound sanctimonious here. I'm ALWAYS frustrated when I can see the answer, but can't quite hold it. What's that quote...Now I see through a glass darkly, but then face to face"...something like that. Anyways Steam, OF COURSE you can say whatever you like here...that's what we are here for (in part, at least). I agree that venting is therapeutic...I think that's a major selling point for AA.

And amen, to your comment Ally...sobriety is not a bed of roses and it is HARD sometimes. Anybody who claims it's a cakewalk is either incredibly blessed or ...I don't know what...

And Dee, I love it when you come into our little corner here. You always have such good things to say. You are a fabulous example that this can be done with grace, humor, but a solid appreciation that life is just life...

December15

Day 21 - I know from past expereinces this can be a dangerous time. The ills of alcohol fade in memory and there's a tendency to romanticise the pop rock like abandoment to alcohol that leads back to despair. I'll be hanging around here quite a bit in my free time to keep focused. Hope everyone is well.

HideorSeek

Good for you to be proactive, Dec! I am getting into memory dimming time as well (16). I started talking Campral which I hope will help. So far it seems to. I've had this scrip for awhile, but hadn't taken it because I thought I was past the physical cravings stage. It is supposed to restore normal brain chemistry, although they admit they really don't know how or why it works. I will say that it seems to do "something". In the last few days, I haven't even considered drinking. I don't know whether to attribute that to fear of consequences, the fact that time is adding up and I don't want to backtrack, or the drug. But the fact that the "impulse (for lack of a better word) is absent, makes me wonder. And IF this drug does do what they claim, doesn't that underscore the theories that there is some elusive, physical component to this disease of ours?

Anyways, hang in there. The thought of a drink and the reality of a drink are two different things and I never seem to remember this until it's too late.

TheChangingMan

Wel done on 21 days December. That was two days ago so I really hope you are still staying strong.

I'm 8days back on the booze. Spent the whole of yesterday in bed hungover. Why I'm doing this I have no idea. I am determined to get back to sobriety but it is always hard for me to make the first step. It is so much easier onnce youy are sober to hang in their. Why dont I ever learn that? Why do most of us struugle to realise thta.

Anyway, congrats all on your progress and I will be rejoining you soon.

December15

Thanks ChangingMan. I'm still on the sober wagon and it's definitely getting easier. Sorry to hear about the 8 day booze cycle - hope you are now off it and back on track.

December15

So where has the class of May gone? I'm approaching a month now and feeling good. Hope you are all keeping well.

ADayAtATime

Hi December,
I used to be in the Class of May...but I relapsed. So now I'm in the Class of June...We call ourselves the JuneBugs (well most of us do)...lol.

I just wanted to come in here and say congratulations on day 26 (am I right?).
That is great...I know your getting excited about your 30 day milestone that is coming up, I would be.

The longest stretch I ever went within the past 4 years has been 13 days.
Keep up the great work!!!

Hugs to you,
XOXO

allport

I'm still around Dec but I'm fickle and I forget to post when the thread isn't on the first page

Well done on nearly four weeks, miss you in chat get back to England.

wanttolive

Well I guess I'm now in the class of May. I used to be in class of January. You guys/gals seem like a lively bunch so hopefully you won't mind another classmate. Here is a short version of what happened.

I had origianally quit on Jan. 19th. Went through withdrawals but no hospitalization. I had been up front with dr. as to my drinking. How much, how often (every day) and the amount. (Alot). He prescribed something to help with strict words of going to er if it got too bad. It was bad but no seizures.

I made it about 50+ days and then in March the alkie voice told me "Oh you have done so well you can have just one or two" We all know the alkie voice lies! My son was home from college break and we had a big difference of opinion on a major issue so there came my excuse. I bought a bottle of wine and just looked at it for days. Finally the alkie voice came and told me it was just a little bottle not a big one, what can the harm be. Drink it and don't buy any more. HA HA! Many of us know where that ends up!

So on May 28th I quit again. Going through withdrawals again, I wondered how I can be so stupid. They really suck. I had the shakes so bad could hardly walk first few days, puking, hypersensitive, creepy crawly skin and terrible insomnia just to name some. I am sure many can relate. If you never had the withdrawals in some ways you're lucky, in others without the terrible experience of going through it, it may be easier to relapse. Don't know since I always get them.

So I am now 15 days and other than insomnia feel pretty good. So, I hope you won't mind a new classmate! I guess this wasn't as short as I wanted it to be. Hope I didn't bore you too much. Read it at bedtime when you can't sleep!

Kim

HideorSeek

Hey everyone, great going! Welcome WTL! And keep it up, ADAAT. I'm glad that Dec and Ally are still plugging along. So am I. Today is day 22 and although I have my ups and downs, I am attending meetings and trying to keep my head screwed on tight. Putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak. There's really no other way for me to do it if I want to succeed. I miss our other classmates....Matt, Redshift, Siamcat, Pixy, to name a few. I'm keeping them in my prayers...

Hugs to you all!

Seek

December15

Excellent HideorSeek, and welcome to the the May class wanttolive. I've had a hard day today battling the alco voice. I'm stuck in this darn hotel with nothing to do and the idea of getting out of it for an evening has me by the throat. Well, I'm resisting. Hopefully tomorrow morning will be hangover free.

HideorSeek

Hey Dec, it's the 13th, hopefully you made it through...I read your response on the "when is it a relapse" thread (you said something to the effect: If I had one drink, I'd call it a miracle). I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!!!!!!

HideorSeek

Hi Kim and welcome to our little class! Boy, I could REALLY relate to your post. Like you, I am a binge drinker. Last Oct, I quit for 54 days, then had a period of on again off again couple of months (I do this in a string of 1 nighters, with a some sober periods in between). Then, early in the new year, I went 58 days, then back to my pattern for a little while. Now, I'm at 24 (?) days, with my fingers, toes and everything else crossed for the long haul. I'm sure that you agree that the fallout isn't worth it, WE KNOW THIS, yet continue to think, "well, maybe this time"... The fact for me is, that the infinitesimal (REALLY!) pleasure I get from a drink costs me soooooooooooo much in terms of physical and emotional pain. I don't feel "right" physically for almost 36 hours! So, I'm hoping to remember that!

Keep posting, OK? It's great to have you here!



Seek

HideorSeek

Anyone out there??????????

I hope you all are well....

Hugs,

Seek

allport

Hey Hide and Seek I am here, but that is because I can't sleep

We can make sure this thread doesn't slip onto page two again

Is that a deal

HideorSeek

Done. You get the UK time zone and I'll take the US east coast. That should cover us! Hope you got some sleep!

I'm onto day 27...how about you?

HideorSeek

Hey everyone...anyone left from the May Class? Ally, I know you are out there ...For our other classmates, PLEASE drop a line and let us know how you are....PLEASE????!!!!

Seek

Mattcake

Hi Seek I'm so happy you're doing okay

I've been lurking, for the most part. Here's a list of items I posted at the beginning of the thread, glad I did that, I've been pretty scrambled lately, and I need to refocus.

I've made some progress, and I feel okay. But still, there's lots of room for improvement. Reaching out for help is difficult for me.

I've been reading a lot of books/info on codependency, and I've realised that my biggest problems and insecurities stem from it. But I haven't called my therapist yet and, though I've found a CODA meeting nearby, I haven't attended. So... I'm coasting.

I'd better get busy.

:ghug everyone