Mattcake

I'm definitely hanging around, Ally I haven't been posting much, but I really like this class.

I've never liked black OR white thinking So far, sobriety has been a cyclical process. I do know that I've come a very long way since I first admitted to having a problem, back in 2007. And, though far from perfect, I'm quite pleased with what I've achieved, mostly through the help of SR. I don't drink anymore, and I'm thankful for that. My life is not rosey, but it's SO easy to forget just how bad it was a while ago.

I'm just thinking out loud. I'm glad June is underway.
Hugs to you all :ghug

Wednesday

I'm glad you guys came back and are starting again. New day, new month today.

I have had some serious temptation and thoughts about slipping but I'm going to try and be sober again today.

ADayAtATime

Hi there everyone,
I started a June thread just because it felt right for me...I'm not going to be far, just the next month over...lol.
Believe me, I will still keep checking in here from time to time....I really like this group, lot's of support.
Hang in there everyone,
Lot's of hugs,
XOXO

scoob

I'm trying something new. I bought a book on itunes from the director and creator of the Passages rehab centre. His philosophy is curing the underlying issues that have caused you to drink rather than focusing on being diseased. I can listen to it on the bus to work and I think it will be very empowering.

HideorSeek

I find all of you empowering. Over the course of a year +, I have tried many "tools", including AA, IOP, therapy...but there is something special here. It's so...human. It's my belief that we are all on our own path of growth and there really is no comparison with others, because our path is our own. That doesn't mean that I don't learn from your perspective on YOUR journey, because I do all the time, but our journeys are our own, in the end. Since we are the sum of all our yesterdays, today we are each exactly where we are supposed to be. But isn't it uplifting, and so NECESSARY, to have encouragement and comfort along the way??!!!

Hugs to each and every one of you.

Seek

HideorSeek

Hey ADAAT! I just saw at the bottom, after posting, that you are here too!!! The internet is way cool! Hang in there, my friend, we've got your back!!!!

ADayAtATime

HideorSeek...Awwwwwww!
You are way too sweet, Thank You! You seem to have everyone's back...you little cheerleader you
I love the Internet...I feel that I can't live without it, it's sort of like my life line.
Lot's of love and hugs,
XOXO

HideorSeek

I'm happy to be in the "back ground" . I just have to keep an eye on my own "back" as well, because it's when I am just cruisin' along, that my own disease trips me up.

Smooch back at you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HideorSeek

I am glad that you are feeling better Steam. Would that there was an easy way, I'd certainly take it, but there's not, in my experience. This journey is not only about stopping using a substance to deal with life, but also about figuring out WHY we feel the need to and then (hopefully) finding something healthy that replaces that need. Or at least, that's how I see it. It is a period of self-discovery and really looking at our nuts and bolts, which I believe are highly individual. For example, AA works for some, but not others. I know that I drink when stressed (by anger, fear) and I need to find something that relaxes and centers me. Drinking makes my stress and anxiety level worse. Yoga and meditation are not the quick fix that I crave, but I think that they are the ticket for me (as I said, everyone is different) in the long run.

allport

I will keep this thread on the first page

Not a lot to report lately I'm kind of drifting along doing ok and not stressing too much, which of course means I will soon be struck by lightning.

HideorSeek

Thanks Ally, for the bump! Although the ranks have thinned a bit, I hope to keep this thread alive as well! I wouldn't worry TOO much about lightening, although I feel the same way. I think in the past (being the sprinter that I am), I have focused on the short term (although this, too can have its merits), but for some reason, this time I see it as the long haul and that tweaks my perspective a bit. Knowing that it's a lifechange and forever makes me kind of sad (on my bad days) and resigned, I guess (on my good ones). Am I nuts? Because I can't think of ANYTHING positive about my drinking. It only brought me pain. So why do I feel this way? It doesn't help that I see others who should focus on their own growth, for reasons other than drinking. But then I check myself and pound into my brain that this is about me and the changes I need to make, not about others. I know (as they say in AA) that I have to focus on my side of the street, but it's very hard for me not to want everyone to clean up their act (whatever that means for them). *Sigh* I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

PS Have you read "A place called Self" by Stephanie Brown? It has some good stuff about this "process" and what and why we feel what we do...

HideorSeek

And on that note (about sprinting vs the long haul), yesterday I was thinking, OK done with day 11...and then I thought, no it's 12! I felt like I'd gotten an unexpected bonus (which is weird, but maybe it's good that the "day" slipped by unnoticed and un"counted"). I had 58 straight days until early May, so I am going to beat that (a reasonable goal, I think) and worry about "after" when I get there.

scoob

Good morning!!

Pixy1

Hey all

Day 10 hanging in there

Pixy1

Steam I agree that relapse can be part of the process. We learn from them. Sometimes we need to feel how bad things can get in order to appreciate how good they can also get.

A new life coming into the world always brings hope, what lovely news

December15

I made a commitment not to count day's this time, but couldn't resist - I'm 18 day's old, lol. I feel I'm going to get back to where I was in sobriety again thank goodness. I just read an article saying that IT workers come second to journalists as far as boozy professions go, so that explains something. Thankfully where I am now it's not the culture to go out for liquid lunches so that makes things a little easier.

ADayAtATime

Hi there everyone,

It seems that for the most part you guys are doing pretty good...that is really nice to see.
Hang in there Maytees (can I still say that, even though I'm now in June...LOL)
Take care,
Hugs to everyone,
:ghug
XOXO

allport

Well its day 14 for me and I can't wait for the day when I forget to count the days

This next week seems to be a dangerous point for me I can get to this point easily enough (I've done it hundreds of times ) but at some point I always go out and drink for a day or two, it hasn't been more than that for a while and I am grateful for that I don't think I have it in me to go on a long binge anymore.

So yes I'm glad that the everyday drinking is a thing of the past but I really would like to get past this stupid on off roundabout.

Any advice would be appreciated (unless you want to advise me to hand it over )

HideorSeek

Well, Ally, I'm with you on Day 14. It was a little touch and go last night, and if I'm honest, I REALLY thought about drinking. When I thought about it, I could attribute the craving to leftover anxiety and rawness from my therapy session that morning and being tired. Internal Stress and physical exhaustion are bid triggers for me. Luckily, I went for a walk, reminded myself that this will never be a piece of cake, that I have to wade through my own muck for my own good and of all the AWFUL physical and emotional consequences that drinking would cause, and managed to squeak through. Oddly enough, I had a dream last night that I DID drink and, in my dream, I was SO disappointed in myself. When I woke up, I thought Thank God it was only a dream. Eerie though. Somebody's watching out for me...

Great going Dec! Let's all keep plugging along!

PS Thanks ADAAT, for the cheer!

Hugs to all,
Seek

PPS Congrats on being an Uncle, Steam!

PPPS And Pixy, three cheers to you as well!

allport

Being honest about wanting to drink is nothing to be ashamed of Steam, I get through some days by sheer will power (and sometimes I fail ) but I don't see any value in pretending that I am always happy to be sober.

I envy those whose desire for sobriety is so all consuming that they are grateful to be sober every day, don't get me wrong sobriety is wonderful most of the time and I will continue to strive for it every day, but I don't always want it

What I am trying to work on at the moment is coming to terms with the fact that I don't always have to have what I want, but that desire is sometimes pretty overwhelming.

My hope is that the longer I abstain the more the cycle is broken.