HideorSeek

Welcome Weds! I'm currently reading a book entitled "living Sober" and there seems to be quite a bit of research on diet and sobriety. I think as alcoholics, we may have more mood swings than others, particularly in early sobriety and that yo-yo-ing could be exacerbated by blood sugar levels, but I'm no Dr. I certainly have more sugar cravings and I probably shouldn't give in but, honestly, I want to treat myself. I find I really want something sweet at 4 pm and 2am. Not a lot, but something. It doesn't SEEM to be hampering me, but if it does, I'll take another look (as opposed to another bite

Anyways, great going everyone. May is coming to a close, but that doesn't mean we stop sticking together, promise??

hugs,
Seek

Wednesday

Hi HideorSeek

I was just reading something on here about hypoglycaemia and blood sugar with heavy drinkers. I definitely get sugar cravings which I keep giving in to. I think my mind thinks if I can't have drink then I have to have something else sugary as a reward or something *sigh*

siamcat

Well put. Steam, you said you were a bit of a purist, could be the gods giving you time to look into other options. Could also be your subconscious preventing you from committing to something you're maybe weary about, who knows. In any case, I know the feeling, my brain does that thing too, a million different directions, I can go into daydreams in the middle of conversations sometimes. Or trail off into speculations while at work. Sometimes it's ridiculous. One thing that's really helped me focus in the past (that I'm unfortunately not so disciplined with these days) is meditation. I know it sounds like an obvious answer, but I think when our minds take on an agenda of their own like that it's a symptom of not enough 'quiet time'. Time to absorb everything we take in. Personally I'm in information junky and often take in waaayyyy more information I can possibly process and it adds to my dilemma, meditation is like unclogging a sink for me, it drains all the dirty water and allows the clean, pure water of focus and intention to fill up again, also, again, diet really (as always) comes into play with mental focus. I'll shut up now...

How are you starting to lose momentum? Let us know, maybe we can give you some tips on how to maintain...

For my part, I feel strange lately. I just can't seem to shake this last slip off my mind. Something about it is dragging me backwards, I just can't let it go. Mostly that's manifested into depression, but a slightly different brand this time. I almost feel like I'm at a crossroad, or more accurately some strange vortex that I could walk through but not be able to come back, so, I'm standing here, day after day, smoking incessantly starring at this vortex, mesmerized, wondering what the hell to do, I dunno, strange days...

P.S. Welcome Wednesday

Wednesday

I have been reading through the forum and I am starting to think that saying that I will never drink again seems so final. I don't know if I can do it. I am feeling so tired as well and I know from past experience that as soon as I drink I start to feel back to "normal". I am not thinking about drinking though but I'm just thinking what a huge step giving up completely will be. I have said I am giving up a few times before and not stuck to it.

( for the welcome.)

siamcat

Well, first of all get this 'forever' nonsense out of your head. Also, get this 'normal' out of your head. Two GREAT AV (Addictive Voice) tricks. AV's are tricky devils, they'll overwhelm you with the... "forever? You're really gonna NEVER drink again? Don't you know how hard that will be? You'll never do it, you can't do it, I bet you a hundred bucks you can't do it, go ahead and try, forever is a long time, you don't have the strength"... and then they'll fool you with the "I just don't feel normal until I have a few drinks, it's what I know, it's what's comfortable for me, my brain NEEDS it, it'll be ok, I'll just have a few drinks, just to feel normal, I will only have a few"... Well, a good thing is to have answers to those arguments. The whole idea behind AA's 'one day at a time' is you're TRICKING your AV into thinking ..."ok, we don't need to drink today, we'll get her this weekend, she's only not drinking for today anyway, no committment there"... It sounds really really silly at first, but it really really works. Don't ever plan or think about more than maybe a week in advance, if not just a day, this helps a lot. And the normal thing, well, who's to say what's 'normal'? Normal is a relative term. Would you rather feel 'normal' and sick and drunk and hurting people you love and killing your body, or, would you rather feel 'weird' and sober and healthy and controlling your behavior and making happy the people you love? Redefine NORMAL for you, do it now, I know it feels weird to be sober at first, but it won't take long to get used to it, you'll feel better physically, mentally and spiritually and to boot you'll REMEMBER what happened at the party last night and you'll CONTROL your own behavior. Good trade off for feeling a little weird methinks...

((((Wednesday)))) Post often, post honest, it's important in the beginning.

P.S. The whole 'i've tried to quit before and failed' is another AV trick, watch how you talk to yourself, make sure you start to recognize when it's your SV (sober voice) or AV.

Wednesday

Thanks Siamcat. I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself at the moment. I wish I wasn't an alcoholic. I'm sure everyone on here feels that way.

I worry too much about what could happen and frighten myself and don't live in the present enough so one day at a time doesn't fit very well into my ethos. It is something I have to try and practise.

I was thinking of writing out a plan for my day with exercise and a 6 meal a day plan with much less sugar to see if that could make me focus on each hour of the day more. At the moment it just feels like a neverending sober future and the idea is scaring me because I don't have my old safety net anymore.

HideorSeek

Great thoughts everyone, thank you. Forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes. This is a very patient beast.

Mattcake

Checking in.. Love to see so many people here

SV, I believe in synchronicity too.. Well, maybe I should rephrase that, synchronicity happens whether we believe in it or not But focusing on its power sure seems to magnify it.

Anyway, hugs to everyone. I'll try to catch up with the thread soon.

Welcome, Wednesday

Pixy1

Sounds like the real world to me. There is no written law stating we have to live a certain way. That idea comes from generation after generation conforming and living as we believe we should not how we want to.

Pixy1

Had a stressfull day with the cravings but kept busy. I refuse to go back to how I was living no matter how hard it gets.

allport

I too have been trapped in the cycle of believing that I should do certain things, that I should aim for a normal life.

Even after being on the sick for a year I always feel uncomfortable, thinking that I should be doing something, earning money, being part of the real world.

Not that these are bad things to aim for but at the moment I really think that I would be better served looking after myself and just learning to value myself and of course learn to expect more from life than existing in a state of normality, slowly going insane.

I kind of feel that I am going through some kind of internal change which drinking would only stop so for today I am not going to limit myself by drinking.

I hope that makes sense, I tend to ramble sometimes

Wednesday

Thanks for the welcome Matt.

I know what people are talking about. I feel like I haven't achieved in the way people have wanted me to achieve. I just feel really aimless at the moment.

December15

Just checking in. I'm really looking forward to the weekend, have lots of hiking planned. I simply haven't had any booze cravings this week - it's weird, and I'm hoping it will last. Today, just for today I focus on sobriety. Have a good weekend everyone.

Pixy1

Alley that makes perfect sense. You have to be ok within you before you can even begin to get back out there.

I read a book by Neal Donald Walsh, "Conversations With God" dont let the title put you off. It's not about god. While reading it I honestly believed I was reading something I already knew but had forgotten. It made perfect sense to me and changed my whole outlook on life.

It made me realise that life is not about conforming and living as we think we should. We have choice. An example I really related to was relationships. Just because it doesn't last doesn't mean it didn't work. It brings us what we need at that time in our life. It's forced upon us from a young age not just from parents but from society as a whole along with the media that we go to school, grow up, get married, have children and live happy ever after etc when in reality as human beings this doesen't always suit us.

We grow and change all the time and what once suited us sometimes no longer fits in with who we are. The books cover all aspects of life not just relationships. I found them amazing books to read.

TheChangingMan

Hi all. Interesting reading and a great post from siamcat.

I'm still going at it. Day 23 for me. I really should stop counting days as it is about being sober today and yesterday is just history, but for some reason I'm still counting.

Today is tough. Just got home from work and it is Friday evening. To say that I have been thinking about drinking all day would be an understatement. Couldn't get it out of my head. Now I'm home though I feel focused enough to carry on sober tonight.

It probably isn't the most advisable trick, but when I feel really desperate for a drink, like I did today, I just tell myself I will have a drink tomorrow if I feel the same way. So far I've never felt the same way the following day-well not AS desperate anyway.

Anyway, well done everyone on your progress. Keep it up.

Wednesday

It is hot, sunny weather here in the UK and it feels like everyone apart from me is out enjoying drinking or lounging in their gardens sipping beer.

I keep feeling like if I could have one more day drinking I would really savour it, like when you have to go back to work after a holiday and you think that if you just had one more day off you would have such a great time with it.

I hope everyone else has a fun weekend. I'm trying to fill up my hours with activities so I'm not thinking about drinking so much.

I'm on day 18 today.

Pixy1

23 Days is fantastic TCM!! My dad was sober for over 20yrs and he always used to tell himself that!

If it gets tough later post, post and post some more!!

December have a lovely weekend, at least you have the weather for it

allport

I have been using the if i feel like this tomorrow I will have a drink game, I don't know if its advisable but its worked so far.

Pixy1

Wednesday hang in there! I feel like that too so I'm dragging the kids out for a walk. By the time I get back I wont feel the same

That one more day never ends there. It will never be as good as you thought it would be. Focus on how great you will feel in the morning!

The AV is setting in and trying to mess up your head by filling it with shite like that! That one drink can take you to the next level of the disease and you wont even see it coming!

Harsh I know but death is harsher! (I'm not sure harsher is a word lol)

Stick on sr this eveningand keep posting!!

Wednesday

I know. I'm not actually considering drinking today but my mind is playing tricks on me today. I will keep posting and reading through SR.