Class of April 2019 Support Thread
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Clayton NC
Posts: 14
Hello all! Day 3 is today and I feel pretty good. I don’t get sick or anything but last night I thought about how nice it would have been to stop for a beer. Well today after work heading to the beach and I have a half full bottle of Jim beam on the counter I left there Tuesday. I think of that bottle like a long lost girlfriend that I can’t wait to see.... the struggles are real and part of me says I can drink when I want and not drink when I want. For thise of you, (previous post), who say they had 2 months in and now again on day 4, how long was the time off the wagon if you will? For example, when I stopped for 30 days, it has been 2 years. I thought I could do it at any time. Still struggle very hard with why cant I stop anytime. Writing this stuff down makes me think of this in a different way. Previously I just thought about it and would omit thoughts that would help me acheive my goal of being able to justify drinking. Does anyone on here who drinks take time off then drink again and is able to stop. I am not sure if I’m a alcoholic or a heavy binge drinker. I understand a bottle of Jim beam in 4-5 hours is a lot especially 4-5 days a week but besides drinking way to much when I do I don’t have any signs of withdrawals and I drank more in the last 6 months then I ever had. At least a bottle a night but I was able to get up in the morning and go to work. I just had to take a short nap midday and drink the hell out of coffee and 5 hour energy drinks. Please offer insight.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Rich ~ just my opinion. 
A heavy binge drinker is an alcoholic....just a different way of drinking. My husband dealt with this for a long time, and yes, it was hard for him to see himself as an alcoholic who needed to completely stop drinking. And he needed a recovery program....he is doing fantastically now. (
)
I was a daily drinker, lots of people I know here only ever drank on the weekend, or maybe even only once a month. But if you pick up a drink....intending to have one or a few, and find yourself drinking alcoholically every single time....
And if it messes up your life and makes you feel terrible about yourself.....
Just my thoughts. s
A heavy binge drinker is an alcoholic....just a different way of drinking. My husband dealt with this for a long time, and yes, it was hard for him to see himself as an alcoholic who needed to completely stop drinking. And he needed a recovery program....he is doing fantastically now. (
)I was a daily drinker, lots of people I know here only ever drank on the weekend, or maybe even only once a month. But if you pick up a drink....intending to have one or a few, and find yourself drinking alcoholically every single time....
And if it messes up your life and makes you feel terrible about yourself.....
Just my thoughts.
s
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 15
Hi Rich. My frequency of binges has varied. At times it has been 4-5 times per week. Now with a toddler it has decreased to 1-2 times per week with some normal drinking the next night to quiet the anxiety. I have about a two hour window at night where I am the last one up, and can put away a scary amount during that time. I always wake up on time to help with the morning routine and get into work. But damn it’s a struggle after tying one on.
About 5 years ago I found this site because I thought my drinking was getting out of hand. I found so much truth in others posts that I was sobbing as I was reading coming to the realization that I have a problem. I go stretches controlling it pretty well, but something happens in my brain, I guess the AV, where I lie to myself thinking I’m not that bad and I can drink like a gentlemen from now on.
I am so much happier when I abstain. Yet given enough time I make the decision to pick it up again. So whether I’m a binge drinker, problem drinker, or alcoholic doesnt really matter to me. Maybe I’m all three? I just know I need to quit for good. I have 5 years of research to support that notion.
About 5 years ago I found this site because I thought my drinking was getting out of hand. I found so much truth in others posts that I was sobbing as I was reading coming to the realization that I have a problem. I go stretches controlling it pretty well, but something happens in my brain, I guess the AV, where I lie to myself thinking I’m not that bad and I can drink like a gentlemen from now on.
I am so much happier when I abstain. Yet given enough time I make the decision to pick it up again. So whether I’m a binge drinker, problem drinker, or alcoholic doesnt really matter to me. Maybe I’m all three? I just know I need to quit for good. I have 5 years of research to support that notion.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
Day 11. This month will really test me. The hockey and basketball teams here in Toronto are in the playoffs. Both teams are really good and may be competing for championships. No matter where in the world you live, a local sports team will bring out people to all the pubs to watch while drinking copious amounts of booze. I will have to learn to just watch at home. A huge trigger if the Maple Leafs and Raptors do well....ugh..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Warrington, England
Posts: 65
Hi Everyone, Day 9 for me today. I'm back at home after being away and surrounded by people drinking, It wasn't so bad in the end, but Im looking forward to a quiet night at home tonight. Husband said he appreciated me abstaining and he knew it must have been difficult for me. So thats a good feeling, I have some mixed feelings though, I'm back at home to my normal routines and one of those routines is to go and secretly buy alcohol and stash it upstairs so I feel like I need to make a plan for the week ahead to keep myself busy and change some of those thoughts and routines. read some of the threads on here.
Daria - Are the game of thrones books good? I have them all but I've been saving them to read, I don't know why I am saving them, now would be a good time as any! Hope you're still doing good
Rich - I was a very intermittent drinker, I could go 3-4 weeks without drinking and last year I went four months, I mainly would drink only before social situations because I'm very quiet shy etc, but before I knew it... it had progressed and I wouldnt always drink heavily, so I still thought I didnt have a problem but then I started to drink every couple of days just a couple of beers then every so often I'd drink an entire bottle of rum in one day then not drink at all for a couple of weeks then think I didnt have a problem at all ... all under control! except it wasn't.
Hope you are all managing today x
Daria - Are the game of thrones books good? I have them all but I've been saving them to read, I don't know why I am saving them, now would be a good time as any! Hope you're still doing good
Rich - I was a very intermittent drinker, I could go 3-4 weeks without drinking and last year I went four months, I mainly would drink only before social situations because I'm very quiet shy etc, but before I knew it... it had progressed and I wouldnt always drink heavily, so I still thought I didnt have a problem but then I started to drink every couple of days just a couple of beers then every so often I'd drink an entire bottle of rum in one day then not drink at all for a couple of weeks then think I didnt have a problem at all ... all under control! except it wasn't.
Hope you are all managing today x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,954
Rich,
My opinion: The problem with alcohol addiction is that it is progressive. Over time we drink more and more to satisfy the beast. As Alan Carr describes it we somewhat unknowingly slide down a slippery slope. For some people that slope ends in oblivion. There are examples of this on U-Tube. Scary stuff. Meanwhile, the benefits of abstaining are a lot. You get to live to your life to your potential.
My opinion: The problem with alcohol addiction is that it is progressive. Over time we drink more and more to satisfy the beast. As Alan Carr describes it we somewhat unknowingly slide down a slippery slope. For some people that slope ends in oblivion. There are examples of this on U-Tube. Scary stuff. Meanwhile, the benefits of abstaining are a lot. You get to live to your life to your potential.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Clayton NC
Posts: 14
Thank you all so much for the insight. Although I have no signs of physical side effects, today is end of day 3 and I have terrible anger. Everything irritates me. I have a little calm the last couple days and actually felt good and positive but today everyone and everything irritates me. I am self employed and everything went wrong today. We were working on a state contract so I had to be on site rather than my office. Even though today is Friday, it is kind of like Wednesday because I drank my butt off Monday and Tuesday. Usually Wednesday is the day i slip back into it. My wife is on the way home from work and we are headed to the beach where I have a half full bottle on the counter waiting..... not sure what I will do. Insane thing is I just found this web site this Tuesday and haveing people say they been on here for 2-5 years gives me the feeling I can still drink while I am trying to quit. It’s that side of me that talks myself into why it’s ok. I have my birth aunt and uncle coming to visit. Never met them, I was adopted and found them on ancestory. My birth mom doesn’t want anything to do with me or meet me but her sister, my aunt is coming to visit 10 hours away. Looking forward to it but nervous. With all this stuff going on not sure it’s a good thing to stop now. I should wait till after Well no matter the decision I am glad I found this site and glad to talk about these things. Normally just struggle in my head and then feel bad the next day. Then drink more the next day because it’s saturday and I always plan to quit on Sunday..... blah blah blah! You know how it goes! Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Insane thing is I just found this web site this Tuesday and haveing people say they been on here for 2-5 years gives me the feeling I can still drink while I am trying to quit.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
Originally Posted by Mariecheese 
Daria - Are the game of thrones books good? I have them all but I've been saving them to read, I don't know why I am saving them, now would be a good time as any! Hope you're still doing good
I'm on day 10 today. I'll confess, I'd really like some wine right about now. One of the few noticeable cravings I've had in the last 10 days. Anyhow, don't have any and I'm not going to get any so it's neither here nor there but. .. I think part of it is I drank a metric ton of coffee today waiting for and watching the Star Wars Episode IX panel and trailer and I've just managed to make myself feel like a keyed up, uncomfortable mess. Going to eat some Chinese take-out, drink some soda, read my book, and go to bed.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
Good for you Daria - remember everyone we're here all weekend for support
the weekender thread and the 24 hour thread are other sources of support too
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-2019-a-3.html (‘Staying Sober this weekend together’-Weekender Thread 12 - 15 April 2019)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-439-a-4.html\ (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 439)
If you want a lot of support quickly, you can start your own thread anytime too
Rich - someone once said to me its not how often we drink it how much as what happens to us when we do (or when we don't).
when I wasn't drinking i was obsessing about it, when I was drinking I was thinking of only how to get more wasted.
My withdrawals were never terribly physical either - they wee mostly mental - anxiety, depression, paranoia anger, shame - and even tho it was 'just beer' I still drank enough to nearly kill me.
We come in all shapes and sizes here but I think the basic problem is a common one.
No amount of time reset me. My pre SR record was 2 months sober - I decided to take 'a night off' and drink - didn't stop til 2 and a half years later - 2 and a half years of daily all day drinking.
Please everyone: do not confuse abstinence for control - they are not the same thing.
Its a terrible cycle we're in - the only way to break it is to not drink.
D
the weekender thread and the 24 hour thread are other sources of support too
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-2019-a-3.html (‘Staying Sober this weekend together’-Weekender Thread 12 - 15 April 2019)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-439-a-4.html\ (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 439)
If you want a lot of support quickly, you can start your own thread anytime too
Rich - someone once said to me its not how often we drink it how much as what happens to us when we do (or when we don't).
when I wasn't drinking i was obsessing about it, when I was drinking I was thinking of only how to get more wasted.
My withdrawals were never terribly physical either - they wee mostly mental - anxiety, depression, paranoia anger, shame - and even tho it was 'just beer' I still drank enough to nearly kill me.
We come in all shapes and sizes here but I think the basic problem is a common one.
No amount of time reset me. My pre SR record was 2 months sober - I decided to take 'a night off' and drink - didn't stop til 2 and a half years later - 2 and a half years of daily all day drinking.
Please everyone: do not confuse abstinence for control - they are not the same thing.
Its a terrible cycle we're in - the only way to break it is to not drink.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Warrington, England
Posts: 65
Hi guys day 10 done. My sons birthday party so I've been busy. Mother in law brought a bottle of wine I confess I took it out the fridge and inspected it...then put it back in :-) got a Pepsi, husband gave it back to her at home time
I'm feeling a bit down and embarrassed husband found some empty cans I'd forgot about in one of the bedrooms he thought I'd been drinking, I asked him did I seem drunk and he said no I don't, but I felt awkward . I know it's a consequence of my own actions still feel a bit rubbish though :-(
Bingo - you're doing great these early days are rough aren't they?
Daria - I will have to get stuck into the game of thrones books then, now the last seasons on next week aswell. I'm also a big star wars fan. Not sure on the new title! Well done on the 10 days.
Well done thatwastheoldme! And everyone else reading x
I'm feeling a bit down and embarrassed husband found some empty cans I'd forgot about in one of the bedrooms he thought I'd been drinking, I asked him did I seem drunk and he said no I don't, but I felt awkward . I know it's a consequence of my own actions still feel a bit rubbish though :-(
Bingo - you're doing great these early days are rough aren't they?
Daria - I will have to get stuck into the game of thrones books then, now the last seasons on next week aswell. I'm also a big star wars fan. Not sure on the new title! Well done on the 10 days.
Well done thatwastheoldme! And everyone else reading x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Ahh Marie honey....I understand that you feel a bit rubbish after that....really....but look at what you did today girl....you took the bottle of wine out of the fridge, "inspected it" and put it back. Errrrr....wow. That is a HUGE win.
Your husband knows you are trying so hard, I bet, and he is just checking up on you because he loves you. But the fact is, you did NOTHING wrong and everything right today. You managed your litte boy's birthday party beautifully....gosh that is a big deal. ♥
Your husband knows you are trying so hard, I bet, and he is just checking up on you because he loves you. But the fact is, you did NOTHING wrong and everything right today. You managed your litte boy's birthday party beautifully....gosh that is a big deal.
♥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Warrington, England
Posts: 65
Thank-you I know, and I know I'd normally be upset now reaching for the nearest drink and I haven't. I just feel a lot of embarrassment and sadness, I couldn't really blame him for thinking that and the only thing that will really rectify that is time.
I did really inspect the wine it was white and 13%... I speculated that it would be nice with some lemonade but it went back in the fridge. I think I really want sobriety this time but I'm beginning to understand you have to really want it, and you have to be dedicated to it.
Getting late now here in UK so I'll say goodnight and check in tomorrow x
I did really inspect the wine it was white and 13%... I speculated that it would be nice with some lemonade but it went back in the fridge. I think I really want sobriety this time but I'm beginning to understand you have to really want it, and you have to be dedicated to it.
Getting late now here in UK so I'll say goodnight and check in tomorrow x
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