Class of April 2018 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi Aprils
It's bedtime but the its the first chance I've had to check in here today. I did open the laptop this morning and wrote in the morning gratitude thread, then I got sidetracked and that was that.
I've been mega peed with my son today, nothing new there I know but I need to vent and get it off my chest so I don't go to bed full of resentment, please feel free to skip past if I'm boring you.
My son only has my g.son, his son for 2 hours on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and he also supposed to have him Friday night through to Sunday night, which he rarely does, he usually has him Saturday night to Sunday. Last Thursday he asked me to have him as he was very tired, which I did and then on Friday my daughter asked me if I would have her two children for a couple of hours Saturday as she is packing up to move house and just needed some child free time. I arranged to take them to Splash Zone, which is a fun pool with slides etc not far from where I live. As I was taking them out for a treat I asked my son if I could also take my g.son so he wouldn't be left out and of course he agreed which meant he stayed over with me Friday night. Anyway we were booked in at Splash Zone for 3.45 so at 4.00 I messaged my son telling him that the session finished at 6 and then I would take his son straight to him. I got a reply saying that he was in a pub waiting to have dinner with a Teresa ( goodness knows who she is, it was an Emma last week!!!) and he wouldn't be back till later!! I told him that as he was getting a taxi back to where he lives he could pick his son up from mine on the way and to let me know when, to which he agreed. We eventually went home and time passed by but we heard nothing from him. I messaged him but got no reply. When it got to 9.30 I knew he wasn't going to come so put my g.son to bed.
This morning I got a very abrupt text at 8.20 telling me that his son needed to be back for 9 for rugby training, I didn't answer and got another text 10 minutes later saying he'd cancelled rugby. No apology to me or explanation as to why he didn't turn up to pick him up as agreed.
I sent him a message saying that I found his message rude, that I don't like being dictated to, that I was not happy that he didn't even have the courtesy to ask me last night if I had any plans myself and that he just assumed he could leave his child. I also told him that he could obviously find money for something and therefore he could start contributing something towards his childs upkeep. He's lived with me 5/6 days per week since September last year and he hasn't so much as contributed one single penny. I also reminded him that he hadn't seen or spoken to his child since last Tuesday and neither has he asked about his welfare. Well he completely ignored all that apart from the money bit, he came back with his usual 'poor me' b.s. about how he is broke because he has to pay his massive debt back and he has had to pay a subscription for swimming lessons and one for rugby. Well woopy doo, isn't that what parents do?
Well I didn't fall for his tales of woe, I've heard them a million times and they don't change, I just sent him a final reply telling him that it is a parents duty to provide for his child and he wasn't providing anything.
Trying to put my point of view over to him is a complete waste of time to be honest, narcissists don't give a stuff, I think I just needed to get it out of my system.
I'm sorry for that big, big rant but I needed it, I feel better now and the good thing is that I won't drink over it. xx
Hi Suze, I'm glad you've posted and I'm glad you've had such a lovely weekend. Those jump places are excellent for children aren't they? We've been to them a few times and they certainly tire them out.
I'm sure your neighbours work will be fine, but you are right to query it, he should be following the correct procedure. I'm sure if it was the other way round and you were doing the work he would want it done correctly. Just be careful, you are right to protect yourself and your property.
I hope you are having a good day Dee.
Well that's it from me, I'll be back tomorrow and I promise not to ramble on so much. Goodnight with lots of love from me. xx
It's bedtime but the its the first chance I've had to check in here today. I did open the laptop this morning and wrote in the morning gratitude thread, then I got sidetracked and that was that.
I've been mega peed with my son today, nothing new there I know but I need to vent and get it off my chest so I don't go to bed full of resentment, please feel free to skip past if I'm boring you.
My son only has my g.son, his son for 2 hours on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and he also supposed to have him Friday night through to Sunday night, which he rarely does, he usually has him Saturday night to Sunday. Last Thursday he asked me to have him as he was very tired, which I did and then on Friday my daughter asked me if I would have her two children for a couple of hours Saturday as she is packing up to move house and just needed some child free time. I arranged to take them to Splash Zone, which is a fun pool with slides etc not far from where I live. As I was taking them out for a treat I asked my son if I could also take my g.son so he wouldn't be left out and of course he agreed which meant he stayed over with me Friday night. Anyway we were booked in at Splash Zone for 3.45 so at 4.00 I messaged my son telling him that the session finished at 6 and then I would take his son straight to him. I got a reply saying that he was in a pub waiting to have dinner with a Teresa ( goodness knows who she is, it was an Emma last week!!!) and he wouldn't be back till later!! I told him that as he was getting a taxi back to where he lives he could pick his son up from mine on the way and to let me know when, to which he agreed. We eventually went home and time passed by but we heard nothing from him. I messaged him but got no reply. When it got to 9.30 I knew he wasn't going to come so put my g.son to bed.
This morning I got a very abrupt text at 8.20 telling me that his son needed to be back for 9 for rugby training, I didn't answer and got another text 10 minutes later saying he'd cancelled rugby. No apology to me or explanation as to why he didn't turn up to pick him up as agreed.
I sent him a message saying that I found his message rude, that I don't like being dictated to, that I was not happy that he didn't even have the courtesy to ask me last night if I had any plans myself and that he just assumed he could leave his child. I also told him that he could obviously find money for something and therefore he could start contributing something towards his childs upkeep. He's lived with me 5/6 days per week since September last year and he hasn't so much as contributed one single penny. I also reminded him that he hadn't seen or spoken to his child since last Tuesday and neither has he asked about his welfare. Well he completely ignored all that apart from the money bit, he came back with his usual 'poor me' b.s. about how he is broke because he has to pay his massive debt back and he has had to pay a subscription for swimming lessons and one for rugby. Well woopy doo, isn't that what parents do?
Well I didn't fall for his tales of woe, I've heard them a million times and they don't change, I just sent him a final reply telling him that it is a parents duty to provide for his child and he wasn't providing anything.
Trying to put my point of view over to him is a complete waste of time to be honest, narcissists don't give a stuff, I think I just needed to get it out of my system.
I'm sorry for that big, big rant but I needed it, I feel better now and the good thing is that I won't drink over it. xx
Hi Suze, I'm glad you've posted and I'm glad you've had such a lovely weekend. Those jump places are excellent for children aren't they? We've been to them a few times and they certainly tire them out.
I'm sure your neighbours work will be fine, but you are right to query it, he should be following the correct procedure. I'm sure if it was the other way round and you were doing the work he would want it done correctly. Just be careful, you are right to protect yourself and your property.
I hope you are having a good day Dee.
Well that's it from me, I'll be back tomorrow and I promise not to ramble on so much. Goodnight with lots of love from me. xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 199
Hola Aprils!
Happy 9 months, Suze! Bravo - keep it up!!
Daisy, your son's behavior is so disrespectful. I'm so sorry you have to continually deal with all his crap. But as others have said, thank goodness your gs has you!!!! I hope he cleans his act up but sounds like his priorities are a** backwards.
. What a delight that you don't have to let his actions make you self destruct. You're doing all you possibly can as a mother ! Hope you can be my mum in another life, please? Haha! xo
So, gosh I don't know where to begin with whats going on with me. All good stuff but a balancing act once again. Started my next design project for a cafe and also working my other 2 jobs *pulls hair out*. Yikes! Also, I have a new roommate and he's super nice, doesn't really drink and is quiet BUT I think he wants to hang out like every night? OMG, noooooo! The best roommates are those that pass like ships in the night. I have bunkered in my room working anyway and I'm hoping this showcases that I'm not trying to best best buddies here. I feel a little bad but I also recognize when someone might be a wee bit co-dependent. He didn't move out of his ex gf's place for an entire year after they broke up WT...? Anyway, no judgement, everyone dances to their own beat. I'm praying this is just because he just moved in and he's just adjusting. etc. Crossing my fingers, and toes - hha!
Ok, well I'm going back to the ol' grind...
Sweetest dreams all!!
x
Happy 9 months, Suze! Bravo - keep it up!!
Daisy, your son's behavior is so disrespectful. I'm so sorry you have to continually deal with all his crap. But as others have said, thank goodness your gs has you!!!! I hope he cleans his act up but sounds like his priorities are a** backwards.
. What a delight that you don't have to let his actions make you self destruct. You're doing all you possibly can as a mother ! Hope you can be my mum in another life, please? Haha! xoSo, gosh I don't know where to begin with whats going on with me. All good stuff but a balancing act once again. Started my next design project for a cafe and also working my other 2 jobs *pulls hair out*. Yikes! Also, I have a new roommate and he's super nice, doesn't really drink and is quiet BUT I think he wants to hang out like every night? OMG, noooooo! The best roommates are those that pass like ships in the night. I have bunkered in my room working anyway and I'm hoping this showcases that I'm not trying to best best buddies here. I feel a little bad but I also recognize when someone might be a wee bit co-dependent. He didn't move out of his ex gf's place for an entire year after they broke up WT...? Anyway, no judgement, everyone dances to their own beat. I'm praying this is just because he just moved in and he's just adjusting. etc. Crossing my fingers, and toes - hha!
Ok, well I'm going back to the ol' grind...
Sweetest dreams all!!
x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Bom Dia,
The good news is I’m sober and no one has harvested my organs. If I wanted to drink this would be paradise. Outdoor bar full of people from every county in the world on every corner.
The bad news is I think this town is a $$$$ hole. I’ve had a 100% relapse of my auto immune illness. I’m locked in my room wasting away. I’ve gone into this with the best of intentions and total confidence it would be amazing, but it’s not. The beaches of Kenya, Tobago, and a lot of other places I’ve been to make this look like a muddy river. It’s the location.
So I’m not having a great time. In fact I’m very sick. I’m not looking for sympathy, but you folks are my sober team.
I took prednisone to get out and about today. Pushing myself was a big mistake, but I’ll starve if not.
Im weighing my options here. I don’t even know what they are yet. I can totally reboot this and plan something else. Going home would suck but this was not a failure as such. I mean the greatest people fail and fail before they make it. Can’t be afraid or embarrassed about that. At least I’m bleeping trying and I’m sober.
Ok later on,
V😕
The good news is I’m sober and no one has harvested my organs. If I wanted to drink this would be paradise. Outdoor bar full of people from every county in the world on every corner.
The bad news is I think this town is a $$$$ hole. I’ve had a 100% relapse of my auto immune illness. I’m locked in my room wasting away. I’ve gone into this with the best of intentions and total confidence it would be amazing, but it’s not. The beaches of Kenya, Tobago, and a lot of other places I’ve been to make this look like a muddy river. It’s the location.
So I’m not having a great time. In fact I’m very sick. I’m not looking for sympathy, but you folks are my sober team.
I took prednisone to get out and about today. Pushing myself was a big mistake, but I’ll starve if not.
Im weighing my options here. I don’t even know what they are yet. I can totally reboot this and plan something else. Going home would suck but this was not a failure as such. I mean the greatest people fail and fail before they make it. Can’t be afraid or embarrassed about that. At least I’m bleeping trying and I’m sober.
Ok later on,
V😕
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn all x
good to see u viper sry about u falling ill x if u got urself a little better are u not able to then go to another destination in your travels? keep safe x
good to see u also bluesy x good to have a nice room mate when as u say u pass each other and not all clingy lol have a good day x
hey snitch hope ur weekend was good and nice snuggles with daughter x
hey daisy x your son at it again i see, its good to let it out here as we all need to let out frustrations ect x
My frustration was that yesterday the all day sunday was a nightmare as it was soooo slow and i was pacing the shop facing crap up all the time like a caged animal lol i was more exhausted doing nothing than what i am used to doing x so it was early bed for me last night.
right will leave it there for now as on phone to daughter so check in later xx
good to see u viper sry about u falling ill x if u got urself a little better are u not able to then go to another destination in your travels? keep safe x
good to see u also bluesy x good to have a nice room mate when as u say u pass each other and not all clingy lol have a good day x
hey snitch hope ur weekend was good and nice snuggles with daughter x
hey daisy x your son at it again i see, its good to let it out here as we all need to let out frustrations ect x
My frustration was that yesterday the all day sunday was a nightmare as it was soooo slow and i was pacing the shop facing crap up all the time like a caged animal lol i was more exhausted doing nothing than what i am used to doing x so it was early bed for me last night.
right will leave it there for now as on phone to daughter so check in later xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
12.11
Afternoon my lovely Aprils and I hope you're all having a good Monday. I wasn't in a very good mood yesterday but I'm feeling much better today, all calm and tranquil, so my big rant here worked. I have no urge to drink.
Thank you Dee, that's a very kind thing to say.
Hi Bluesey, great to see you as always and thanks for your kind words also. I don't think my son will change, I just can't see it, but we can live in hope.
Of course I'll be your mum in another life lol.
Oh my gosh, you are so busy, is that 3 jobs you have on the go? I hope you make sure you have some 'you time' you need it.
Ha ha, you made me smile re your room mate, I hope he settles down into a routine and gives you some peace, bless him. You take care and stick to your boundaries.
Lovely to see you Viper, you've been very missed. I had every confidence in you anyway that you wouldn't drink.
I'm so sorry to read that you are unwell, is it possible that you could have a bit of jet lag? It would explain some of the way you're feeling. It's early days yet so give it a little longer, you might find you're enjoying it and if not then there will be another option. There could be towns/resorts near by that are just what you hoped for, get Googling.
The most important thing though is that you take good care of yourself. At the end of the day if it doesn't work out it wouldn't be the end of the world, at least you've given it a go and that's more than a lot of people do.
Hi Erratic, sorry you had such a dismal Sunday, the day drags when it's like that. I'd much rather be run off my feet then at least the day flies by. It's surprising how tiring doing nothing is. I hope today is a better day for you.
Well I'm going to go and get some lunch now, back later. Love to you all.xx
Thought for the day...
" Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day."
Afternoon my lovely Aprils and I hope you're all having a good Monday. I wasn't in a very good mood yesterday but I'm feeling much better today, all calm and tranquil, so my big rant here worked. I have no urge to drink.
Thank you Dee, that's a very kind thing to say.
Hi Bluesey, great to see you as always and thanks for your kind words also. I don't think my son will change, I just can't see it, but we can live in hope.
Of course I'll be your mum in another life lol.
Oh my gosh, you are so busy, is that 3 jobs you have on the go? I hope you make sure you have some 'you time' you need it.
Ha ha, you made me smile re your room mate, I hope he settles down into a routine and gives you some peace, bless him. You take care and stick to your boundaries.
Lovely to see you Viper, you've been very missed. I had every confidence in you anyway that you wouldn't drink.
I'm so sorry to read that you are unwell, is it possible that you could have a bit of jet lag? It would explain some of the way you're feeling. It's early days yet so give it a little longer, you might find you're enjoying it and if not then there will be another option. There could be towns/resorts near by that are just what you hoped for, get Googling.
The most important thing though is that you take good care of yourself. At the end of the day if it doesn't work out it wouldn't be the end of the world, at least you've given it a go and that's more than a lot of people do.
Hi Erratic, sorry you had such a dismal Sunday, the day drags when it's like that. I'd much rather be run off my feet then at least the day flies by. It's surprising how tiring doing nothing is. I hope today is a better day for you.
Well I'm going to go and get some lunch now, back later. Love to you all.xx
Thought for the day...
" Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Thank you me ladies and Dee,
yes I have really bad travel fatigue. It was like running a marathon. Not being able to stick to my diet or even close isn’t helping. Plus this place is NOT what I was expecting.
I shouod have realized from the map at home that a huge river coming from the Amazon area goes into the sea about 10 blocks from me. I know from run off in Africa after the rains and from Florida, that you don’t want to be anywhere near a river or flood run-off area. The water is dark and murky and in Florida it comes off the swamps, same here, so there is toxic bacteria. I’ve seen the beach right here and was like WTF!!!????
The are other beaches nearby but I’ll have to hire a ride every time I want to go and you can’t go by yourself and leave stuff on the beach.
I flew down down the coast of 200 kilometers of empty pristine beach, totally unspoiled by man. Only farms and jungle leading to the water. It was bright turquoise. Not here. My purpose was the beach.
ZERO desire to drink. I don’t know what happened. I got over that crap. A beautiful girl from Spain was even asking if I wanted to get coffee with liquor in it here and I was like, “Nope! I don’t drink.”
I can look for somewhere else or go home and reboot. I’m rotting in this room right now. It sucks. I’m really just toasted.
Well the measure sure of a man (or woman) I think is resilience. There is no failure here. I’ll be resilient even if I return.
Most important to to stay sober and take care of my health, you’re right.
Its funny a couple of years back the place down the street would have paradise for me. A Hostel with an outdoor bar and all of the travelers hanging out. I am sickened the booze.
It’s actually repulsive to me now. I think that’s probably a great thing.
Well toughen up Viper!! Make a plan.
V
yes I have really bad travel fatigue. It was like running a marathon. Not being able to stick to my diet or even close isn’t helping. Plus this place is NOT what I was expecting.
I shouod have realized from the map at home that a huge river coming from the Amazon area goes into the sea about 10 blocks from me. I know from run off in Africa after the rains and from Florida, that you don’t want to be anywhere near a river or flood run-off area. The water is dark and murky and in Florida it comes off the swamps, same here, so there is toxic bacteria. I’ve seen the beach right here and was like WTF!!!????
The are other beaches nearby but I’ll have to hire a ride every time I want to go and you can’t go by yourself and leave stuff on the beach.
I flew down down the coast of 200 kilometers of empty pristine beach, totally unspoiled by man. Only farms and jungle leading to the water. It was bright turquoise. Not here. My purpose was the beach.
ZERO desire to drink. I don’t know what happened. I got over that crap. A beautiful girl from Spain was even asking if I wanted to get coffee with liquor in it here and I was like, “Nope! I don’t drink.”
I can look for somewhere else or go home and reboot. I’m rotting in this room right now. It sucks. I’m really just toasted.
Well the measure sure of a man (or woman) I think is resilience. There is no failure here. I’ll be resilient even if I return.
Most important to to stay sober and take care of my health, you’re right.
Its funny a couple of years back the place down the street would have paradise for me. A Hostel with an outdoor bar and all of the travelers hanging out. I am sickened the booze.
It’s actually repulsive to me now. I think that’s probably a great thing.
Well toughen up Viper!! Make a plan.
V
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
ur in south america? viper?
Sry dont know ur travels, past yrs is that everything has changed due to weather sry it dont matter where u are but yup changers in very remote areas. going to say u can do this and if u need to u change where ur going x
i guess ur going on a physical travel viper and with that emotional stuff , u can do it xx when i was 16 i left where i was and moved and then at 18 and its u do what u have to and make sure u come home. x i never had home but place x we are here x
sry going to say night x
Sry dont know ur travels, past yrs is that everything has changed due to weather sry it dont matter where u are but yup changers in very remote areas. going to say u can do this and if u need to u change where ur going x
i guess ur going on a physical travel viper and with that emotional stuff , u can do it xx when i was 16 i left where i was and moved and then at 18 and its u do what u have to and make sure u come home. x i never had home but place x we are here x
sry going to say night x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi again Aprils, just doing my usual bedtime check in. Hope you're all okay. I think I'm getting something, I've got cold shivers, just can't get warm even though I'm sat here in my p.j's, cuddly dressing gown and the fire is on full belt. My chest is very tight too. Well whatever it is, I don't have time for it, so it better move on!
Travel fatigue is awful Viper, it can take up to a couple of weeks for your system to acclimatise plus it won't help that the place is not up to scratch. Sounds like you need to move. There is definitely no failure, what you've done is immensely brave and if it doesn't work out, then it's not meant to be. Go with your gut instinct and do what's right for you. Take care.
Hi Erratic, Viper is in Iticare Brazil ( I hope I've got that right!), I know he won't mind me telling you. I've never been to Brazil so I can't really comment on it but I did Google Iticare and it does looks gorgeous, but like everywhere I suppose it has it's good and bad places and your right the climate changes have altered a lot of the weather conditions over the last few years.
Anyway, I'm off to bed now, back tomorrow hopefully. Sleep well and much love to you all. xxx
Travel fatigue is awful Viper, it can take up to a couple of weeks for your system to acclimatise plus it won't help that the place is not up to scratch. Sounds like you need to move. There is definitely no failure, what you've done is immensely brave and if it doesn't work out, then it's not meant to be. Go with your gut instinct and do what's right for you. Take care.
Hi Erratic, Viper is in Iticare Brazil ( I hope I've got that right!), I know he won't mind me telling you. I've never been to Brazil so I can't really comment on it but I did Google Iticare and it does looks gorgeous, but like everywhere I suppose it has it's good and bad places and your right the climate changes have altered a lot of the weather conditions over the last few years.
Anyway, I'm off to bed now, back tomorrow hopefully. Sleep well and much love to you all. xxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Hello everyone! It's been a bit since I've stopped by! I have been dealing with being sick - had a terrible case of bronchitis and was under the weather for about a week and no more started feeling better from that then started a new Thyroid med and did not respond well to it at all! Ugh! I'm over bronchitis, off those meds and feeling much more like my old self! In all that mess I hit my 9 month milestone! Still sober and no problems there.
How is everyone doing?
How is everyone doing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by kgirl41 
Hello everyone! It's been a bit since I've stopped by! I have been dealing with being sick - had a terrible case of bronchitis and was under the weather for about a week and no more started feeling better from that then started a new Thyroid med and did not respond well to it at all! Ugh! I'm over bronchitis, off those meds and feeling much more like my old self! In all that mess I hit my 9 month milestone! Still sober and no problems there.
How is everyone doing?
How is everyone doing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi Daisy. Glad you are feing calmer. Not so glad to hear you don't feel well. I hope it has passed now. If not, stay warm and rest!!
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles with your son. But don't apologise for ranting here!! This is the perfect place! Come and share with us whatever is going on. We are your support network. Because if you don't share that resentment may sit with you and fester and us alcoholics cannot afford to have resentments! They can take us back to a drink and for us to drink is to die.! So share away lol.
I think it boils down to the whole powerless over people places and things. We can't control how others act, live, behave or react. Only ourselves. We need to decide what we are willing to tolerate, how we deal with others and situations and what boundaries we can put into place to protect ourselves and it sounds like you have that insight which is amazing! And again, I echo others, thank God your grandson has you.
Really hope you are feeling better today.
x x x
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles with your son. But don't apologise for ranting here!! This is the perfect place! Come and share with us whatever is going on. We are your support network. Because if you don't share that resentment may sit with you and fester and us alcoholics cannot afford to have resentments! They can take us back to a drink and for us to drink is to die.! So share away lol.
I think it boils down to the whole powerless over people places and things. We can't control how others act, live, behave or react. Only ourselves. We need to decide what we are willing to tolerate, how we deal with others and situations and what boundaries we can put into place to protect ourselves and it sounds like you have that insight which is amazing! And again, I echo others, thank God your grandson has you.
Really hope you are feeling better today.
x x x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Blusey, it's great to hear how good you are doing and it all sounds very exciting and interesting!!!!
I will be in your neck of the woods soon. Going to San Fran at the end of the month! Woo hoo. One of my fave destinations in the world!
I will be in your neck of the woods soon. Going to San Fran at the end of the month! Woo hoo. One of my fave destinations in the world!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Viper am sorry to hear you arent feeming your best and that the place you are at isn't living up to your expectations . However you haven't failed. Far from it! You have succeed in just making that decision to do something and go for it! I mean, that is jist the opposite of failure! I hope it turns around for you.
How amazing that far from being sober which is an achievement in itself, you have zero desire to drink. Despite feeling pants and being somewhere that isn't what you were expecting and beong surrounded by drinking places is big man! I mean, if nothing else this trip would have been worth it just to find that out!!!
Look after yourself, get well, put it out there to the universe and I believe you will end up exactly where you are meant to be. Keep in touch!!
How amazing that far from being sober which is an achievement in itself, you have zero desire to drink. Despite feeling pants and being somewhere that isn't what you were expecting and beong surrounded by drinking places is big man! I mean, if nothing else this trip would have been worth it just to find that out!!!
Look after yourself, get well, put it out there to the universe and I believe you will end up exactly where you are meant to be. Keep in touch!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi Erratic, ugh Yeh sometimes it is worse having nothing to do than being busy. Being busy takes my mind off things and gets me out of self!
Can you take anything jn with tou for slow days, a book or crossword or sudoko?
How is your daughter getting on with her job?
XX
Can you take anything jn with tou for slow days, a book or crossword or sudoko?
How is your daughter getting on with her job?
XX
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
I am in Baltimore. Its 8 am here and am just gonna do a workout. There is a meeting literally around the corner from me at midday which is great. Gonna get myself there.
All ok with me except I had a huge altercation on board the aircraft yesterday with another crew member. It was not a nice experience and it got out of hand. I have shared the story on the alcoholism 12 step forum if anyone wants to read, can't wrote it all up again. However, I have worked my programme around the situation and all I will say it that is has helped me immensely, seen where I was at fault and how I can proceed forward in the future with regards to my own behaviour. I could sit here for hours and write everything that is wrong about the girl lol and in the past I would have. But this programme is about me. And my behavioirs. And how I can be free from my old ways of thinking and those behaviours. I feel I was given a valuable lesson yesterday in self will and trying to run the show and whilst it was not a nice experience I am glad it has happened as it has taught me a lot!
The miracle was that when I got to my hotel room I did not want to drink!!!! I had a lovely cup of lemon drizzle green tea. Mmm it's delicious. My fave. And I had a great sleep too. Today is a new day and I can take the lesson I have learnt into today . My sponsor said a good thing to me. Do i want to be right or do I want to be free? Truthfully? Both! Haha! Seriously, I choose freedom .
I will let you know how my meeting goes. Feel anxious already about it which is crazy it's just because I have never been here before. I will trust in my HP today.
Speak later x x
All ok with me except I had a huge altercation on board the aircraft yesterday with another crew member. It was not a nice experience and it got out of hand. I have shared the story on the alcoholism 12 step forum if anyone wants to read, can't wrote it all up again. However, I have worked my programme around the situation and all I will say it that is has helped me immensely, seen where I was at fault and how I can proceed forward in the future with regards to my own behaviour. I could sit here for hours and write everything that is wrong about the girl lol and in the past I would have. But this programme is about me. And my behavioirs. And how I can be free from my old ways of thinking and those behaviours. I feel I was given a valuable lesson yesterday in self will and trying to run the show and whilst it was not a nice experience I am glad it has happened as it has taught me a lot!
The miracle was that when I got to my hotel room I did not want to drink!!!! I had a lovely cup of lemon drizzle green tea. Mmm it's delicious. My fave. And I had a great sleep too. Today is a new day and I can take the lesson I have learnt into today . My sponsor said a good thing to me. Do i want to be right or do I want to be free? Truthfully? Both! Haha! Seriously, I choose freedom .
I will let you know how my meeting goes. Feel anxious already about it which is crazy it's just because I have never been here before. I will trust in my HP today.
Speak later x x
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