Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 8
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Hi all, checking in on this exhausting daylight savings morning. It was after midnight before I was able to fall asleep, and as I've said before, lack of sleep is not something I accept anymore. 
On the upside, it will be nice to have a longer day, maybe I'll even get back in the habit of daily walks with my dogs. They are such good girls.
Sunflower, have a great trip!
Hi to NC, Numblady, and Dee, hope everyone has a good day.
On the upside, it will be nice to have a longer day, maybe I'll even get back in the habit of daily walks with my dogs. They are such good girls.Sunflower, have a great trip!
Hi to NC, Numblady, and Dee, hope everyone has a good day.
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Originally Posted by Sunflower79 
Morning. I’m here. Just quiet.
Sunflower I didn’t get your text. Heading to Belize tomorrow with my husband so I am a little apprehensive. This is our first vacation alone since I got sober.
Sunflower I didn’t get your text. Heading to Belize tomorrow with my husband so I am a little apprehensive. This is our first vacation alone since I got sober.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi All!
Sorry I was a little quiet over the weekend, I've had a busy few days! We visited my parents on Saturday evening and stayed with them overnight. We went out for a family meal with my parents, brother and sister in law and it was just so lovely. I had been having a lot of drinking thoughts all last week and spending quality time with family put a welcome end to those ruminations. I was so grateful that I could be fully present (not drunk, or hungover) and I enjoyed so much the conversations and laughter and just being 100% present. The next day we had a family breakfast and then I worked for the evening when we got home. It was so nice to be able to be productive and start the week organised rather than a hungover mess. Back is feeling much better, thank you guys for asking! I'm at about 95%, which is fantastic. I had a private horse riding lesson on Friday to try and work through some of the challenges, and it was great. Going for another one this week, in addition to my regular riding. It made me realise that I need to be more structured in the training plan for one on one time when it's just my horse and I, and I need to put more time into schooling the basics together to create that rapport. Unfortunately I've a business trip coming up next week and I'll be away for a week - I hope the gap doesn't set us back too far!
Scotty: So happy you popped by! I always love reading your posts. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time with your son, I can't begin to imagine the challenges you must face. I hope visitors won't add too much stress to the equation. I'm in awe of your success with quitting sugar, I wish I had the motivation to do that right now. Having said that, eating has been a lot better and I'm in a happy place with my weight right now, even though it could be better. Let us know how the blood tests go!
NL: I'm sorry your husband is being a bit of a child at the moment. It must be so frustrating to try and manage a man that laments the college drinking lifestyle, on top of all the grown up stuff you actually need to manage! It sounds as though you had a lovely weekend though, yoga and gardening sounds lovely! The yoga towels are a must! I forgot mine on Friday morning and I had a few close calls with the sweaty mat!
Sunflower: I hope you enjoy Belize! The first sober holiday is a learning experience / adjustment, but I think you'll find that it is so much more enjoyable! We're always here if you need support.
Palmer: What breed is / are your dogs again? I think you told us before and I forgot! In my head, I always picture golden retrievers when you post about them, but I'm not sure that's right!
Hi Dee!
Sorry I was a little quiet over the weekend, I've had a busy few days! We visited my parents on Saturday evening and stayed with them overnight. We went out for a family meal with my parents, brother and sister in law and it was just so lovely. I had been having a lot of drinking thoughts all last week and spending quality time with family put a welcome end to those ruminations. I was so grateful that I could be fully present (not drunk, or hungover) and I enjoyed so much the conversations and laughter and just being 100% present. The next day we had a family breakfast and then I worked for the evening when we got home. It was so nice to be able to be productive and start the week organised rather than a hungover mess. Back is feeling much better, thank you guys for asking! I'm at about 95%, which is fantastic. I had a private horse riding lesson on Friday to try and work through some of the challenges, and it was great. Going for another one this week, in addition to my regular riding. It made me realise that I need to be more structured in the training plan for one on one time when it's just my horse and I, and I need to put more time into schooling the basics together to create that rapport. Unfortunately I've a business trip coming up next week and I'll be away for a week - I hope the gap doesn't set us back too far!
Scotty: So happy you popped by! I always love reading your posts. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time with your son, I can't begin to imagine the challenges you must face. I hope visitors won't add too much stress to the equation. I'm in awe of your success with quitting sugar, I wish I had the motivation to do that right now. Having said that, eating has been a lot better and I'm in a happy place with my weight right now, even though it could be better. Let us know how the blood tests go!
NL: I'm sorry your husband is being a bit of a child at the moment. It must be so frustrating to try and manage a man that laments the college drinking lifestyle, on top of all the grown up stuff you actually need to manage! It sounds as though you had a lovely weekend though, yoga and gardening sounds lovely! The yoga towels are a must! I forgot mine on Friday morning and I had a few close calls with the sweaty mat!
Sunflower: I hope you enjoy Belize! The first sober holiday is a learning experience / adjustment, but I think you'll find that it is so much more enjoyable! We're always here if you need support.
Palmer: What breed is / are your dogs again? I think you told us before and I forgot! In my head, I always picture golden retrievers when you post about them, but I'm not sure that's right!
Hi Dee!
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Ha! Speaking of time change confusion I tried posting from my phone and thought I was posting in response to the latest message but it was actually just the end of the last page. I hate this time change so much. I think technically we have just left Daylight Savings and have moved into Standard time. I honestly just wish it would stay one way or the other. The amount of daylight is the same no matter how it is bookended in our time zone. I hate this one with a passion. My kids don’t want to go to sleeep AND they don’t want to get up. Which they already didn’t like but now the complaints are magnified to the extreme.
More later but just wanted to explain my random post while I have access to a keyboard!
More later but just wanted to explain my random post while I have access to a keyboard!
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Hi all! NewChapter, I loved your post, it encapsulated all the great things about living sober that I never want to take for granted, the simple things like not starting the week off sick and disorganized (well, I'm still pretty disorganized, but it's a different kind than when I was drinking). I'm so happy you had a good weeekend, and I hope you get some quality horse time soon! As for my dogs, I'm not sure about the breed because they are rescues, probably a mix of a mix, but they are honestly adorable - although I do have moments when I wonder why it was necessary to get two?
NL, daylight savings/return to standard time/any time change is the worst. I was such a zombie all day yesterday, it reminded me too much of working hungover, and I never want to go back there again!
Sunflower, I'll be thinking of you and your trip. When traveling, I notice that I struggle with the transitions the most, meaning wanting a drink immediately upon arrival, getting the party started so to speak. If you have a good book or podcast, that might help a bit? Some of my friends are really into one called "My Favorite Murder" which is pretty good. I also love the NPR ones, Fresh Air, This American Life, Serial, etc.
I have a busy day at work, and a meeting with one of my employees/former friend which I'm dreading, I have to tell her that she has a new project and I have to shift her staff around. She is one of those people who feels like she never has enough resources, so I'm sure I will be annoyed by her response, but there's no getting around it so I don't feel too guilty.
I hope everyone has a great day! Hi to Dee!
I'm so happy you had a good weeekend, and I hope you get some quality horse time soon! As for my dogs, I'm not sure about the breed because they are rescues, probably a mix of a mix, but they are honestly adorable - although I do have moments when I wonder why it was necessary to get two?NL, daylight savings/return to standard time/any time change is the worst. I was such a zombie all day yesterday, it reminded me too much of working hungover, and I never want to go back there again!
Sunflower, I'll be thinking of you and your trip. When traveling, I notice that I struggle with the transitions the most, meaning wanting a drink immediately upon arrival, getting the party started so to speak. If you have a good book or podcast, that might help a bit? Some of my friends are really into one called "My Favorite Murder" which is pretty good. I also love the NPR ones, Fresh Air, This American Life, Serial, etc.
I have a busy day at work, and a meeting with one of my employees/former friend which I'm dreading, I have to tell her that she has a new project and I have to shift her staff around. She is one of those people who feels like she never has enough resources, so I'm sure I will be annoyed by her response, but there's no getting around it so I don't feel too guilty.
I hope everyone has a great day! Hi to Dee!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi Class,
NL: Sorry your kids are so out of sorts with daylight savings!
PS: Mix breeds are so lovely! My parents have a rescue mix, too, and she has the sweetest nature! Yeah, I definitely try not to take any of the perks of sobriety for granted and I notice as soon as I begin to, the drinking thoughts start to encroach again. It's funny, because for me, some of the best benefits are actually seemingly mundane or prosaic things, such as quality family time, mindful living, no hangovers on a Monday, better sleep, etc. and the longer I go in sobriety, the more I have to actively remind myself that these things used to be such a challenge because of alcohol and that they were not always the way they are now. I hope your meeting goes well and that this person doesn't react too adversely, and that you can manage it without incurring too much frustration for yourself.
Feeling pretty tired today for some reason, just real lethargic and inefficient at getting through my task list. Hopefully it will be a productive day nonetheless as I have plenty to get through. Bikram after work which I'm hoping will also help on the energy front.
Hi to All!
NL: Sorry your kids are so out of sorts with daylight savings!
PS: Mix breeds are so lovely! My parents have a rescue mix, too, and she has the sweetest nature! Yeah, I definitely try not to take any of the perks of sobriety for granted and I notice as soon as I begin to, the drinking thoughts start to encroach again. It's funny, because for me, some of the best benefits are actually seemingly mundane or prosaic things, such as quality family time, mindful living, no hangovers on a Monday, better sleep, etc. and the longer I go in sobriety, the more I have to actively remind myself that these things used to be such a challenge because of alcohol and that they were not always the way they are now. I hope your meeting goes well and that this person doesn't react too adversely, and that you can manage it without incurring too much frustration for yourself.
Feeling pretty tired today for some reason, just real lethargic and inefficient at getting through my task list. Hopefully it will be a productive day nonetheless as I have plenty to get through. Bikram after work which I'm hoping will also help on the energy front.
Hi to All!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi everyone,
Really quick selfish post here. I want to drink so have run right here!
I’m not going to, but I am unbelievably stressed, work is insane and will be for another week, getting ready for overseas visitors, my son, a minor health blip for me has just dog piled on and I want to escape into the oblivion for a bit..
I know to play the tape forward and I know this will pass, but it is scary how powerful a feeling it is. It’s not a craving as such, more a ‘stop the world I want to get off’ feeling. The AV is such a liar, all the same pressures would be there tomorrow plus a hangover.
It is so good to know you guys are here and just get it. Already as I type some of the tension is going.
Thank goodness sober recovery is now my drug of choice - thanks for being there.
xx
Really quick selfish post here. I want to drink so have run right here!
I’m not going to, but I am unbelievably stressed, work is insane and will be for another week, getting ready for overseas visitors, my son, a minor health blip for me has just dog piled on and I want to escape into the oblivion for a bit..
I know to play the tape forward and I know this will pass, but it is scary how powerful a feeling it is. It’s not a craving as such, more a ‘stop the world I want to get off’ feeling. The AV is such a liar, all the same pressures would be there tomorrow plus a hangover.
It is so good to know you guys are here and just get it. Already as I type some of the tension is going.
Thank goodness sober recovery is now my drug of choice - thanks for being there.
xx
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Yeah Palmer good luck with the meeting. I know you’ve talked about this person before and know that the relationship can be somewhat of a challenge. Sometimes it does help when there really is no other choice.
NC, totally with you on needing to keep the benefits of this life (and the fact that drinking isn’t going to make the rough parts go away) a little more front and center in the thoughts. The drinking thoughts don’t come in all that often but have noticed a few kind of aggressive whispers. LIke if you imagine creepy whispering in a horror movie. Kind of like that.
Thought of Scotty and others when I saw there is a sugar addiction recovery thread in this page. I guess I’ve noticed it before. Just jumped out to me today.
Sunflower, hoping the Belize trip is going well. Hi to all others. Have a great day!
NC, totally with you on needing to keep the benefits of this life (and the fact that drinking isn’t going to make the rough parts go away) a little more front and center in the thoughts. The drinking thoughts don’t come in all that often but have noticed a few kind of aggressive whispers. LIke if you imagine creepy whispering in a horror movie. Kind of like that.
Thought of Scotty and others when I saw there is a sugar addiction recovery thread in this page. I guess I’ve noticed it before. Just jumped out to me today.
Sunflower, hoping the Belize trip is going well. Hi to all others. Have a great day!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Hi Class,
NL: Your creepy AV whispers comment made me laugh - I thought of those cheesy horror movies from the 90s!
Scotty: I am so, so happy that you ran straight here in the midst of the AV's attack on the senses. I one hundred percent understand that feeling of wishing for a pause button to just detach from the world - I think we have all felt that way and that's a huge part of why we are all here now. It sounds like you are under an incredible amount of pressure from all angles and sources. Is there someone (perhaps your partner, or maybe even the out of town visitors?) that you could share these pressures with and just let them know how much stress you are under? I find that in times of immense pressure, I tend to let my self-care slip the most as I simply 'don't have time' - however this is the time we need to prioritise those moments the most, as without caring for ourselves, how can we possibly expect to be in any condition to care for others and perform the way we hope in order to get through those times of stress? I suggest carving out some time (even fifteen minutes in the morning or before bed) for some meditation / reading / listening to music / yoga - whatever works for you - in order to maintain your mental space and health, and to bolster your resolve and emotional strength to fight off the AV and also manage all of the things you have going on in your life right now. We are all here for you any time you need to talk and especially when you feel like drinking is the answer, so stay close, we gotchu!! Sending a huge hug
Spending my day preparing for a workshop I'm delivering tomorrow - it's a full day workshop at a local business, and it's the first time I'll be delivering one for the whole day, so I'm quite nervous and a little anxious about how it will go. Usually when I do this type of work, it's just a talk or seminar for an hour or two, or as part of a panel of speakers. So a full day with all eyes on me will be a little daunting! Riding tonight which I am really looking forward to. Yoga was really great last night and I didn't have to sit out any of the postures, so my back is feeling pretty good again! I'd say I'm pretty much at 97% back to normal now, thank God!
Hope everyone has a great day!
NL: Your creepy AV whispers comment made me laugh - I thought of those cheesy horror movies from the 90s!
Scotty: I am so, so happy that you ran straight here in the midst of the AV's attack on the senses. I one hundred percent understand that feeling of wishing for a pause button to just detach from the world - I think we have all felt that way and that's a huge part of why we are all here now. It sounds like you are under an incredible amount of pressure from all angles and sources. Is there someone (perhaps your partner, or maybe even the out of town visitors?) that you could share these pressures with and just let them know how much stress you are under? I find that in times of immense pressure, I tend to let my self-care slip the most as I simply 'don't have time' - however this is the time we need to prioritise those moments the most, as without caring for ourselves, how can we possibly expect to be in any condition to care for others and perform the way we hope in order to get through those times of stress? I suggest carving out some time (even fifteen minutes in the morning or before bed) for some meditation / reading / listening to music / yoga - whatever works for you - in order to maintain your mental space and health, and to bolster your resolve and emotional strength to fight off the AV and also manage all of the things you have going on in your life right now. We are all here for you any time you need to talk and especially when you feel like drinking is the answer, so stay close, we gotchu!! Sending a huge hug
Spending my day preparing for a workshop I'm delivering tomorrow - it's a full day workshop at a local business, and it's the first time I'll be delivering one for the whole day, so I'm quite nervous and a little anxious about how it will go. Usually when I do this type of work, it's just a talk or seminar for an hour or two, or as part of a panel of speakers. So a full day with all eyes on me will be a little daunting! Riding tonight which I am really looking forward to. Yoga was really great last night and I didn't have to sit out any of the postures, so my back is feeling pretty good again! I'd say I'm pretty much at 97% back to normal now, thank God!
Hope everyone has a great day!
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Hi all! First things first, Scotty: I can completely relate to that feeling of "I need to detach from reality right now," that was how I felt when we had the fire and I was in a momentary panic. By now, we're all pretty good at recognizing the AV for what it is, and not believing the lies we used to tell ourselves, but we also have some distance between us and the horror of living our daily lives with an active drinking problem. I have to say that lately, that's one thing that helps to think about - in the past, I would focus on "THE drink" but now I try to focus on what it would mean to go back in time to that miserable lifestyle. That terrible feeling of living in a small, dark, prison of my own making. It does help me to think of those early days of cravings, and the tools I used, such as journaling, laying on a heating pad, sweets (oops), walks, reading, etc. It may help to get back to basics?
OK, I need to get my kids moving and off to school, but I'll be checking back in later - have a great day, all!
OK, I need to get my kids moving and off to school, but I'll be checking back in later - have a great day, all!
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Whoops! I don’t know if my post just crossed Scotty’s or if I’m blind but I didn’t see it until today.
Scotty, am so glad too you come on here. I agree with NC the need for the pause button or some form of relaxation is what it seems like we all still crave. Don’t have any great answers that you don’t already but glad you know we are here cheering you on in your addiction to sobriety. In addition to PS’s suggestion I’ve also been finding it helpful lately to remind myself I can’t ever go back to more “normal” drinking. I have no desire for that if I’m being honest with myself. I crave a state of near oblivion and it’s something that I learned over time was impossible to sustain, tiresome to regulate, painful in its effects. Okay now I think I’m talking to myself more than anyone but still...
NC, that IS a long time for a presentation. bet you’ll be exhausted when it’s done!
Hi Palmer and anyone else lurking/reading!
Scotty, am so glad too you come on here. I agree with NC the need for the pause button or some form of relaxation is what it seems like we all still crave. Don’t have any great answers that you don’t already but glad you know we are here cheering you on in your addiction to sobriety. In addition to PS’s suggestion I’ve also been finding it helpful lately to remind myself I can’t ever go back to more “normal” drinking. I have no desire for that if I’m being honest with myself. I crave a state of near oblivion and it’s something that I learned over time was impossible to sustain, tiresome to regulate, painful in its effects. Okay now I think I’m talking to myself more than anyone but still...
NC, that IS a long time for a presentation. bet you’ll be exhausted when it’s done!
Hi Palmer and anyone else lurking/reading!
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Just popping in to thank you for your well wishes! Workshop went well I think and there is scope for more business opportunities to come out of it, so here’s hoping! OMG I feel tiredness akin to jet lag though, as you said - a full day is a LONG time to be ‘on’ and engaging!!
Hope everyone’s having a great day :-)
Hope everyone’s having a great day :-)
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Just a flyby. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. The desire for oblivion passed, though the stress remains, but there is also the knowledge that it is temporary, 3 weeks from now it will all be behind me.
Now the craving has gone (for now) it seems so ridiculous to have even wanted it and I guess that is where the battles with alcohol are fought. I can never be a ‘normal’ drinker, I totally know that, but I wasn’t craving normality, I didn’t want just a taste, I wanted that vacation from life for a moment.
I love the phrase ‘addicted to sobriety’.
Thanks again for all your words.
Now the craving has gone (for now) it seems so ridiculous to have even wanted it and I guess that is where the battles with alcohol are fought. I can never be a ‘normal’ drinker, I totally know that, but I wasn’t craving normality, I didn’t want just a taste, I wanted that vacation from life for a moment.
I love the phrase ‘addicted to sobriety’.
Thanks again for all your words.
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Hi all! NewChapter, congrats on 14 months!
How is everyone doing? I'm OK, but kind of struggling to find a routine and a sense of organization in our old/new house. I really want to help my kids get their rooms set up, but we have extraneous furniture in there plus everything they have ever acquired in their short lives (except for a few things I've been able to move to the trash or donation pile unnoticed) and I'm just overwhelmed. The house is almost 7k sf, so even though I'm naturally more of a minimalist, we've fallen victim to the mentality of, "well, we do have the space for that..." Maybe I need to read the "Tidying Up" book, I tried watching the Netflix documentary but I honestly found the woman to be annoying and kind of bizarre. Oh well - first world problems for sure!
On the bright side, the weather has been amazing here and I'm really looking forward to enjoying it as a sober person! I hope everyone is doing well.
How is everyone doing? I'm OK, but kind of struggling to find a routine and a sense of organization in our old/new house. I really want to help my kids get their rooms set up, but we have extraneous furniture in there plus everything they have ever acquired in their short lives (except for a few things I've been able to move to the trash or donation pile unnoticed) and I'm just overwhelmed. The house is almost 7k sf, so even though I'm naturally more of a minimalist, we've fallen victim to the mentality of, "well, we do have the space for that..." Maybe I need to read the "Tidying Up" book, I tried watching the Netflix documentary but I honestly found the woman to be annoying and kind of bizarre. Oh well - first world problems for sure!
On the bright side, the weather has been amazing here and I'm really looking forward to enjoying it as a sober person! I hope everyone is doing well.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Guys!
Dee: Thank you! Hope you have an awesome weekend, too :-)
Scotty: So proud of you for working through the AVs antics. It’s so true, any of the cravings that I’ve experienced over the past few weeks have definitely been for the ‘oblivion factor’ as opposed to the idea of a glass of wine with dinner. Which emphases exactly why I (and all of us here) cannot drink normally - even our motivations for drinking aren’t the same as ‘normies’. And as you’ve also said, once you fight through it and ride it out, in hindsight it’s crazy to imagine that you even wanted a drink! Well done for getting through it despite the stress and pressure you are under right now. Stay close should further pangs crop up until the stressors pass.
PS: Thank you!! :-) I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling overwhelmed, but not at all surprised. Moving house is one of the most stressful and overwhelming things a person can do, let along one with kids and all of the incredible upending and stress you guys have had to go through as a family in this instance with the fire, the rental, the renovation and moving back!! Try to take it easy on yourself and maybe just not expect too much for now - set out small, achievable ‘sub-goals’ of the larger goals you want to achieve and just systematically work through those. Over time, it will all add up and will give you the sense of satisfaction and progress to feel some stability and order re-establishing.
Hi to NL & Sunflower also!!
I had a really good riding lesson yesterday and again today, so feeling hopeful. Hubby and I going to a concert tonight which I’m really looking forward to, also. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Dee: Thank you! Hope you have an awesome weekend, too :-)
Scotty: So proud of you for working through the AVs antics. It’s so true, any of the cravings that I’ve experienced over the past few weeks have definitely been for the ‘oblivion factor’ as opposed to the idea of a glass of wine with dinner. Which emphases exactly why I (and all of us here) cannot drink normally - even our motivations for drinking aren’t the same as ‘normies’. And as you’ve also said, once you fight through it and ride it out, in hindsight it’s crazy to imagine that you even wanted a drink! Well done for getting through it despite the stress and pressure you are under right now. Stay close should further pangs crop up until the stressors pass.
PS: Thank you!! :-) I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling overwhelmed, but not at all surprised. Moving house is one of the most stressful and overwhelming things a person can do, let along one with kids and all of the incredible upending and stress you guys have had to go through as a family in this instance with the fire, the rental, the renovation and moving back!! Try to take it easy on yourself and maybe just not expect too much for now - set out small, achievable ‘sub-goals’ of the larger goals you want to achieve and just systematically work through those. Over time, it will all add up and will give you the sense of satisfaction and progress to feel some stability and order re-establishing.
Hi to NL & Sunflower also!!
I had a really good riding lesson yesterday and again today, so feeling hopeful. Hubby and I going to a concert tonight which I’m really looking forward to, also. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
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