PeacefulWater12

I think this is true for me too.

Glad you benefitted from the online OA meeting.

PeacefulWater12

Checking in for a safe 24 hours working my Food Plan and program.

Sunflowerlife

Day 3

Feeling better but I cannot wait to have a full week under my belt.
It's so nice to be working again and be distracted from food and thoughts of eating. I am going longer in between meals which works great for my resetting my hunger cues- when I am home I tend to eat every 2-3 hours or snack between meals which can unleash feelings of wanting to binge or overeat mindlessly.

Wishing you all a lovely day- extra love goes out to Suze and Weev, I wish I knew when your retreat was over so I knew when to expect to hear from you!

PeacefulWater12

Closing on a lovely day bang on plan with my food. Three meals and nothing in between. Enjoying it very much, to my surprise. Feels like less work to only have to eat the three meals instead of having snacks. I am amazed I see it this way. I thought I would feel deprived.

Sunflowerlife

It would have been day 4 of binge free but I failed yet again. We had a lovely morning with over two hours at a playground and I got to chat to a Mom friend of mine. But I am exhausted, cranky and was hungry when we got home and just decided to give up and eat crap. Now I am buzzed off carbs and feeling awful. I hate myself. I wish having to send my food list to my sponsor made a difference but it did not.

I know I am stressed. It’s been a week now that my husband and I are sleeping separately. My friends mom was in the hospital. I am tired from work. I haven’t been working out. Excuses excuses excuses to numb out and hurt myself. I haven’t meditated in weeks. I feel so lost.

venuscat

Will catch up when I can....thank you Sunny xx

PeacefulWater12

Sorry to hear this. I wanted to share that whenever I go out, I take an emergency safe food snack in my handbag with me. So if I am out longer than I was expecting or I get hungry, I can eat my emergency safe snack and I stay in control and abstinent.

My easiest and favourite safe food snack is cheese you can buy that is already in portions. So is wrapped and so is no problem to have in my bag. It won't make a mess. I find the high fat and protein in the cheese very stabilising.

Just a thought.

Sunflowerlife

I didn’t plan well. I wanted to work out when we got home and I can’t work out after I eat so it just wasn’t good timing. I didn’t think we would be a the the playground for over two hours. Oh well. Honestly being tired from working two days in a row is a huge trigger for me. I am still not used to working which is affecting my workouts which is affecting my mood. It’s a snowball effect.

Tomorrow I will do better. I have to be home at 7:15 am for my husband to leave for work so if I’m going to get up and go to the gym it’s going to have to be at 5:45.

venuscat

s

PeacefulWater12

Good morning all

Rooting for you, SunFlowerLife.

Checking in for a peaceful safe 24 hours. Got my favourite gym class first thing. Good old fashioned aerobics with cheesy music. Very loud and great vintage fun.

Grapevine anyone?

Sunflowerlife

OMG, Grapevine!! I haven't done that one since the 90s. Nice work! Glad you enjoyed.

Sending my food journal to my sponsor last night was eye opening. It was twice as long and it was mostly carbs which makes me wonder, if i just stopped to drink a protein shake in the middle of a binge, would some of the cravings go away?

Dropping off my son and then it's a home workout for me. The kids are so loud this morning- dropping things, running around upstairs, screaming. Ugh. Earplug time.

Going to have a good day today- no matter what.
Online meeting at 2:30.

Sunflowerlife

Really struggling today. Been crying all morning and feeling really out of control and like I am losing my mind. I am sure my blood sugar is really unstable today- I just tested it and it's 129 (I've only had coffee) and I feel really, really bad.
I wish someone could save me from this hell I am living.

I am so overwhelmed with all the things I need to do on my days off. Scheduling doctor's appointments, my own appointments, cleaning, purging, organizing, I feel like I am doing it all.

PeacefulWater12

Sorry you are feeling so bad and overwhelmed. Is there anyone you can ask for help? It sounds like if you continue as you are, you will be very seriously ill.

Sunflowerlife

I am doing everything I can. Going to talk to my sponsor at 4.
I won’t be seriously ill. I go through cycles like these every summer and winter and I always get through it eventually. I’m just tired. So tired.

PeacefulWater12

Closing on a nice peaceful day with my food plan. Gym class was great fun. Hard work too.

Purplrks3647

Sorry I haven't been on here for a while.....just curious has anyone attended OA?

I need more will power....especially now working 2nd shift....I've been eating fast food at night after work! Hoping to get back on a better work schedule but I know I'm just making excuses as well.....hope everyone is doing okay

PeacefulWater12

Hi Purplrks

I live the OA program (along with several other 12 step fellowships). I used to attend meetings but where I live there are only a couple a week and there is no recovery in them. So I changed to online which I find far better.

I identified my "alcoholic" foods and use the OA Food Plan. Is a life saver and works for me. I am currently abstinent.

I found, as with all addictions, the food is just the mask. The real issues are underneath and smoothed by the food. Get the food out of the way and the real work can start.

A couple decades ago I went to OA briefly, at that point in my life I was looking for an easy way to be slim! I viewed OA as a weight loss club. It isnt.

Hope that is of some help to you.

PeacefulWater12

Checking in for a safe day with my Food Plan.

Booked myself a pampering treatment as a treat today.

AH very ill, I feel I am coping well. He is drinking heavily. I am detached from his behaviours. He tries to bait me for a fight sometimes but I don't pick up the bait. Just remove myself from the room.

Due to his drinking patterns and the heart failure, I only see him briefly each day. He is in bed most of the time I am up and awake. He drinks all night, sleeps most of the day. He is on a heavy duty medication regime which has all gone sideways as he doesn't take them four hourly as he is meant too. I have completely let go of that. It is his responsibility not mine. He has pain when his regime isn't followed properly.

I am working on myself. I don't want to waste time fending off his chaos. I can keep my focus on me getting well.

PeacefulWater12

Abstinent day. Peaceful and enjoyed it.

PeacefulWater12

Gratefully checking in this rainy Sunday for a healthy day.