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Sugar Addiction Recovery Thread Part 3

Old 07-28-2018, 03:30 AM
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Hi everyone- the party was absolutely amazing and I was buzzed with gratitude and love well into yesterday. I cannot explain how much joy I felt, having real, true friends around me and having an amazing time sober. It was the best birthday of my life, truly. I was trying to think about all of the years I spent drinking on my birthday and I was wondering what on earth did I talk about to the people around me when I was so wasted? It couldn't possibly compare to the other night. We were all on a higher plane- the vibration in the house was so high, my friends were commenting on how tranquil the house felt. My one friend even sang a song on the guitar for us, at my request (he is about to write his second album.) I had 5 friends come - 2 I have know for 5+ years and the other 3 I met at my spiritual class earlier this year. I can say I have found "my people" and I almost feel like it isn't real- I can't explain it. I never thought this would happen.

It was a miracle. I have changed so much in the last year and attracted so much positivity into my life, sometimes it doesn't feel real.
The food was great too and it was the first time I wasn't tempted to binge after everyone left. I was fullfilled emotionally so there was no need for more food. My keto dessert turned out well and it did not cause cravings either.

Having said that, I did binge my face off all day yesterday. I knew I would- I was exhausted from the late night and the cortisol really affects my hunger hormones. So I feel pretty bad today and I have to work these next 3 days. I know part of me was also reacting to taking my son to the pool yesterday for the first time this summer. It was anxiety provoking as I compared myself to every other woman there and I was so self conscious of my stomach which has more fat on it this year than it did last. I hate it. I want so badly to accept my body and I am still struggling with this.
I kept saying the serenity prayer and it helped but it didn't take the shame and anxiety away completely.

I am off to the gym to burn through some of this sugar I feel floating around my blood. I am sure if I tested my blood sugar right now it would be off the rails high.

I work from 11-7 so I won't have time to focus on my imperfections at least. I just want to stop caring so much about what my body looks like.
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Old 07-28-2018, 04:38 AM
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Well, I am betting that the 3 days of work every week will make you skinny.
And you have gorgeous legs.....so you can wear shorts and look fantastic.

Really glad to hear your news.....made me very happy.

Have a good day love. ♥♥
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Old 07-28-2018, 11:41 AM
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Good Evening Everyone

I'm noticing some positive changes today. I had energy to tackle some cleaning around the house, and my body seems to be moving with a bit more fluidity. I have great hopes for the future, if I stick to my plans.

I have been given so much. My gratitude for this freedom can't be expressed.

Love to all.
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Old 07-28-2018, 10:23 PM
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Checking in gratefully for a day of enjoying safe eating.

The weather is much cooler here now and the air fresh. All humidity gone. I am very thankful for this and am enjoying it.

Wishing us all a happy and peaceful Sunday.
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Old 07-29-2018, 12:38 AM
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Four weeks today free of all addictions (that I know about)!

I’m going to give myself a firework

I’ve increasingly noticed that I suffer big time from anxiety and I wonder if I was self medicating underlying mental health issues. I know I’m under pressure financially and always the worry of losing our home but I hope I don’t have to resort to an SSRI to be able to face some of this fear and get back into the world.

Anyway, I’m going to give it a couple of months with this new food freedom and hope the chemicals in my body balance out. Goodness knows, they’ve been artificially raised and lowered so many times for so many years they probably don’t know what to do.

I love you all and pray for peace for you all today
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Old 07-29-2018, 01:00 AM
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Originally Posted by WeaverBird View Post
Four weeks today free of all addictions (that I know about)!

I’m going to give myself a firework

I’ve increasingly noticed that I suffer big time from anxiety and I wonder if I was self medicating underlying mental health issues. I know I’m under pressure financially and always the worry of losing our home but I hope I don’t have to resort to an SSRI to be able to face some of this fear and get back into the world.

Anyway, I’m going to give it a couple of months with this new food freedom and hope the chemicals in my body balance out. Goodness knows, they’ve been artificially raised and lowered so many times for so many years they probably don’t know what to do.

I love you all and pray for peace for you all today
Very well done. Four weeks is great.
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Old 07-29-2018, 01:31 AM
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Thanks Darling Lee, and I'm so glad you're here to witness it! I wanted this for a lifetime, it feels like. Have a lovely day yourself!

Safe Eating Sunday. Yey!
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Old 07-29-2018, 03:27 AM
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Originally Posted by WeaverBird View Post
Four weeks today free of all addictions (that I know about)!

I’m going to give myself a firework

I’ve increasingly noticed that I suffer big time from anxiety and I wonder if I was self medicating underlying mental health issues. I know I’m under pressure financially and always the worry of losing our home but I hope I don’t have to resort to an SSRI to be able to face some of this fear and get back into the world.

Anyway, I’m going to give it a couple of months with this new food freedom and hope the chemicals in my body balance out. Goodness knows, they’ve been artificially raised and lowered so many times for so many years they probably don’t know what to do.

I love you all and pray for peace for you all today
Morning Weev- I know how you feel. I didn't notice my anxiety until I stopped drinking. It's amazing how we managed to falsly cover it up for so long.

Congratulations on 4 weeks- you are my inspiration, truly and I think about you ever day and how amazing this journey has been and how much you have changed and accomplished. You should be very, very proud of yourself. Life is about to open up in ways you couldn't imagine, I just know it.
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Old 07-29-2018, 03:31 AM
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6:27 am

My poor body is still tired from working yesterday even though I got in bed with Evan as soon as I got home at 7:30! I think I slept 9.5 hours and I could have slept more.

It was awesome not thinking about food for 8 hours- I took my Greek Salad, protein shake and some nuts and resisted eating on the drive home. If I make this a habit, I will have at least 2 days a week when I am guaranteed to be binge free. I can already see that my triggers would be eating in the car or eating when I get home (like picking through the fridge/pantry.) So I am just going to stick to my routine of not eating past 6 pm whether I work or not.

The kids want to go to the pool this morning but I know the sun drains me and I will be a mess for work later (I go in from 2-8:30.) So I am going to have to find ways to entertain them at home instead. I am wishing for a smooth morning/afternoon with them as my husband is at work. I wish I felt a little bit more energized to tackle them but it is what it is. It may be a play doh and art type of day for all of us

Hope you are all having a great Sunday so far...
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Old 07-29-2018, 03:46 AM
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Play doh and art and music sounds like a lovely Sunday morning.
So proud of you love.

Just wondering if you could add something else to your day's food....it doesn't sound like enough for 8 hours....I would be tired and hungry at the end of that....what about adding some almonds or pumpkin seeds? Of course you would have those at work.
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Old 07-29-2018, 03:50 AM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Play doh and art and music sounds like a lovely Sunday morning.
So proud of you love.

Just wondering if you could add something else to your day's food....it doesn't sound like enough for 8 hours....I would be tired and hungry at the end of that....what about adding some almonds or pumpkin seeds? Of course you would have those at work.
I had a fatty shake right before I went to work since I started work at 11- so 3 meals (and I also packed a portion of nuts.) I don't starve myself anymore Suze, trust me! I am done with that part of my life . While 2 shakes isn't ideal it's the only way I can manage getting 2 meals at work since I can only take 1 break during my shift. The shake is easy because I can sip it while working.

My body is tired because I am not used to standing 8 hours a day!! My knees were a little sore too- I'm no spring chicken anymore haha. Plus I am detoxing from Friday's binge. So it's natural that I will not feel well for a few more days.


Thanks for the love...How are you?
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Old 07-29-2018, 04:05 AM
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No spring chicken.... girl.....honestly....42....
I am a an older chook who still has plenty of spring. I got more after I got sober.

Your legs are going to end up stronger than they have ever been.
I know you are wearing the very best shoes....yes? Really important to have supported footsies.
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Old 07-29-2018, 04:22 AM
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Good morning ladies. We are at OBX this week for vacation and as SFL probably already knows the weather on the entire east coast of the USA is just loaded with rain so we expect our vacation to be a bit substandard compared to prior years. Discussed it with my wife and we are just trying to make the best of it. Attitude attitude attitude.

We are not eating "right" The ice cream stands keep calling our name. I think we just decided to go on a bit of a binge. Oh well. We are with several families who all rent together from back home so the children have many friends to play with or hang out with which is good.

Going back to my drum beat and getting on my soapbox now... please stop being so hard on yourselves. 42 and children... worried that you don't look so good? Pleeze… its called natural aging. Look I know none of you regular posters are quitters and I doubt any of you are just letting yourselves go. I just think you make it harder on yourselves with excessive worrying. Even the fittest looking mom in our group does not look like she did before children. And she really really works at it. She's a stay at home with a personal trainer. For my wife focusing on more on fitness and eating right has really helped her feel better. Has she lost all the weight she wants to lose? No. But I keep telling her how glad I am that she feels better. She really committed to a grain free keto type diet at the beginning of the year and while it hasn't changed her appearance as much as she had hoped it has really improved her mood and overall health. It's nice that probably 9 out of 10 days she wakes up feeling pretty darn good. A real improvement from a couple of years ago. Last comment on my wife's eating/fitness program. Over the years she's tried a lot of fitness programs/gyms. Most have not been successful because she could not keep it up. About a year ago she joined Orange Theory. For her this has been the best fitness program she has ever tried. Not sure why it has worked so well but it has. YMMV.

Wishing you all a great day. Signed the token male in the thread.

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Old 07-29-2018, 04:38 AM
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Please eat some ice cream for me wonderful token male.
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Old 07-29-2018, 04:42 AM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
No spring chicken.... girl.....honestly....42....
I am a an older chook who still has plenty of spring. I got more after I got sober.

Your legs are going to end up stronger than they have ever been.
I know you are wearing the very best shoes....yes? Really important to have supported footsies.
Yes! My mom gave me 2 pairs that didn't work for her and they are awesome! BZees are my favorite- like walking on clouds..

And I was partly joking about the spring chicken haha. I just mean my knees aren't like they were in my 20s!
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Old 07-29-2018, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by AAPJ View Post
Good morning ladies. We are at OBX this week for vacation and as SFL probably already knows the weather on the entire east coast of the USA is just loaded with rain so we expect our vacation to be a bit substandard compared to prior years. Discussed it with my wife and we are just trying to make the best of it. Attitude attitude attitude.

We are not eating "right" The ice cream stands keep calling our name. I think we just decided to go on a bit of a binge. Oh well. We are with several families who all rent together from back home so the children have many friends to play with or hang out with which is good.

Going back to my drum beat and getting on my soapbox now... please stop being so hard on yourselves. 42 and children... worried that you don't look so good? Pleeze… its called natural aging. Look I know none of you regular posters are quitters and I doubt any of you are just letting yourselves go. I just think you make it harder on yourselves with excessive worrying. Even the fittest looking mom in our group does not look like she did before children. And she really really works at it. She's a stay at home with a personal trainer. For my wife focusing on more on fitness and eating right has really helped her feel better. Has she lost all the weight she wants to lose? No. But I keep telling her how glad I am that she feels better. She really committed to a grain free keto type diet at the beginning of the year and while it hasn't changed her appearance as much as she had hoped it has really improved her mood and overall health. It's nice that probably 9 out of 10 days she wakes up feeling pretty darn good. A real improvement from a couple of years ago. Last comment on my wife's eating/fitness program. Over the years she's tried a lot of fitness programs/gyms. Most have not been successful because she could not keep it up. About a year ago she joined Orange Theory. For her this has been the best fitness program she has ever tried. Not sure why it has worked so well but it has. YMMV.

Wishing you all a great day. Signed the token male in the thread.

HI AAPJ!! Sorry about the weather- yeah, it's been an insane amount of rain over here! I hope you packed boardgames and can hit some movies or shopping.

Eating well on vacation is HARD especially when you aren't alone. I hope you can enjoy your time, regardless of what you choose to eat.

As for the body image stuff- I come from decades of body dysmorphia and eating disorders so as much as I want to just accept my body, it is going to be a life long process! I am a perfectionist. I have been told I look great but all I see is my flaws. Even when I was starving myself daily in my 20s and 30s, I thought I was fat. I'm sure others can relate.

All I want is to accept my body the way it is and I am slowly getting there. Thank you for always being so supportive and for giving your unique perspective- it is truly appreciated!

Now go have some fun on vacation- I hope you get at least a couple days of sunshine!!
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Old 07-29-2018, 11:58 AM
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Closing on a lovely day of safe eating. Very relaxing.
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Old 07-29-2018, 02:32 PM
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Night night all, survived a close encounter with pushy woman trying to get me to take home the remains of chocolate ganache desert with baileys. I honestly didn't want the sugar. Too tired to make sense tonight. Love and prayers.
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Old 07-29-2018, 10:23 PM
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Good morning all. Checking in for a week of safe eating.

Feeling good and well in myself. Stress is bouncing off me. Calmness feels strong and steady within me.

AH doing what very ill alkies do, but has not affected me. I can observe and step away in detached way. Enmeshment seems to have gone. Codie behaviours too. This was one of my biggest issues.

I have no feeling of being a victim, I know I am responsible for my choices and my responses to others and their behavoiurs. This feels good.

A nice stretching gym class first thing then my plans are open for the day.

Been enjoying talks on You Tube about reprograming our mind and thoughts. Updating old thoughts with new ones. Very doable.

Regarding above interesting posts about body image. I am at place where I like what I see in the mirror. Has taken me decades to get here but I do now. I see an attractive happy lady in good shape in the mirror. I also see a good soul shining through. A kind person in there. A gentle one too. One who has boundaries.

Wishing us all a good day.
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Old 07-30-2018, 03:27 AM
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Originally Posted by WeaverBird View Post
Night night all, survived a close encounter with pushy woman trying to get me to take home the remains of chocolate ganache desert with baileys. I honestly didn't want the sugar. Too tired to make sense tonight. Love and prayers.
Ugh...the great cake debacle- glad you survived it sweetie!

You are amazing. Hope you got some good rest last night.
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