Sunflower79

PeacefulWater12

Thank you. I would like to help others with this struggle we have.

Sunflowerlife

You know me friend- I have tons on my agenda for today! But the food never cared in the past.
It turns out it was only a thought about binging and not a true craving. I am telling you, something has clicked like it did when I finally stopped drinking.
I want to be abstinent more than I want to eat sugar or binge.
Finally!

Just colored my hair and showered. Listening to an OA phone meeting. It always reminds me of why I am doing this. I am going to be ok

Sunflowerlife

Hi Sunflower! I am ok! It was barely a craving. I miss sugar there is no doubt about it but just for today I will not eat it!
How is your day going?

Sunflower79

venuscat

Oh....I don't know what is wrong with me....I can't eat and I can't stop crying.
Something flipped inside of me during this weather....I miss my friend like crazy and I am lonely and far out....I feel like a teenager right now. Sorry. Just feel safe in this thread. s

Sunflower79

venuscat

I made myself eat something....I wonder if I have gone too far down (calorie wise) because I am so keen to dump the extra pounds....

The thing with me...I am an addict....and I get addicted to NOT eating as well....sigh.

Thank you love....so much. xx

PS....Greys Anatomy is on in half an hour.....that cheered me up.

murrill

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I listened to the podcast, which was great. I expect to return to the site for more.
I am pretty at peace with sugar right now, but I know that it could become a problem again. I've been writing my 1st Step, and it is interesting to me that sugar was not a problem for me when I was young. I enjoyed a dessert at times, but I did not need to eat a whole pie! Of course, I am 60 years old, and our food is very different now. I also recognize where food took on emotional significance.
My first weight loss experience was about 10 years ago. I was slim most of my life, but then I quit smoking & entered menopause. The weight came on. Logging was successful for me--for a while. Long story short: I logged calories or points, off & on, for several years. I grew to hate it. So tedious! Going to a Mexican restaurant and having to count every chip is no fun. Right now I am having three meals a day, making sure I get enough protein and having two snacks daily. It is going well. Unfortunately, I have been unable to lose any weight. I try to find non-scale victories--ex. I feel better, I'm staying off sugar, etc.--and I don't want to measure my success by weight. My therapist tells me I may be at my "set point," and I should not expect much change. That is discouraging, but I am trying to stay the course.

Sunflowerlife

I just heard a term the other day for the disorder we have where we can be addicted in more than one way. I will have to look it up tomorrow.

You are not alone my friend. I depend way to heavily on my phone when booze and now sugar is not an option. One day we will find a way to look inside for the support and comfort we so desperately need.

Please take care of yourself. Winter is hard with the snow and cold and unpredictable weather. Just hang in there and know it will get better. Your body needs food today and every day. Try to listen to it- it will tell you what it wants.
Love you

Sunflowerlife

8:46 and I can barely keep my eyes open.
I see snow is in the forecast for tomorrow and my heart is sinking. How do I change my head around so that I can see this as a blessing? I cherish my alone time so much and tomorrow was going to be the only full day this week I had to myself to finish my hospice training. Instead I am pretty sure schools will be closed and I will be home with the boys. I have been in an awful mood for two days now. In the past I could blame it on the food but I am not eating poorly at all. Not a drop of sugar. So why do I feel this way? I always thought it was the food. Turns out I still have mood issues.
I wonder if I am detoxing. Perhaps it will take a few months to feel better than this.

I just want the good days to last. Why can’t they ever last?

Sunflower79

venuscat

Sunny love ~ I responded to this in the 24.

I am the same as you....NOTHING puts me in a bad mood like having my plans changed without my desire or consent....even if it's 'life', it makes me very uncomfortable. I am getting better at finding the peace and calm within to help me through these days.....it takes time I guess.

So....let's get practical....do you need to finish the training today? Or can you adjust to finishing next week....is it doable....because when we adjust ourselves to what is, we find peace. And then we can deal with the new reality.

My thoughts.

Sunflowerlife

I know you feel discouraged Sunflower. Have you tried the L-Glutamine powder? It really helps. Also, did you check out the book The Craving Cure? And lastly, are you drinking anything sweet throughout the day? What about mints, gum? I had to cut out my sugar free, stevia sweetened electrolyte power and I absolutely had to stop licking the knife after making my son's pb&j. In other words, I cannot have a drop of anything sweet if I want to make this work. Are you eating any sugar throughout the day? Sweetened yogurts? If I were you I would check all the labels of your foods for sugar. Even if they are low carb they can still contain sugar and that sugar could be setting you up for cravings.

And lastly, I know that you will reach a day where you aren't struggling anymore. I believe in the bottom of my heart that recovery is all about timing- each bite, each binge leads us to recovery. One day you will be absolutely done just like you were with the alcohol.

You want this- I can feel it in everything you write. Just don't give up. It will happen. Keep trying.

Sunflowerlife

So I woke up and held one my new powerful crystals this morning and asked for a message. It told me that I need to turn the focus onto my children and stop being so self centered. I was actually ready for a snow day!

Turns out I still have to pick them up early so I am about to write up a schedule on our huge white board in the kitchen. I'm going to pull out the playdough and the Valentine's decorations. That will fill at least an hour and a half. Plus I got them new book today from the library.

When they get their tables later I can finish my training. I'm on an OA phone meeting right now and will put away some laundry and fold some that's in the dryer.

I really want to find a sponsor and work the steps. Hoping there are some willing to take new members at the end of the meeting..
xoxo

Sunflowerlife

Day 14

I haven't gone this long without binging in months and certainly haven't gone this long with any bite of sugar in probably over a year.
I feel good.
I know that this is actually it for me.
I know it is a combination of timing, effort, intention, relapse, God, my crystals, breathwork and all of you.

Wishing you all a great Saturday- need to hop on my spin bike and then get ready for my 7 am shift! I'll check in again later.
xoxo

Sunflower79

venuscat

Awesome girls.....now I need to put my glasses on and get my coffee.
Still three quarters asleep here. xx

Sunflower79

Sunflowerlife

Hi Sunflower- wishing you luck with the Dietbet. Do whatever you feel will help you get through this but remember you can text me when an urge strikes and maybe I can help you through it.

Have a great day 2!