Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 108
Checking in and catching up
Hi there all fellow classmates.
It’s been said many times here and it’s true..You are a great bunch of people to be with!
Reading over the posts from the past day or two, there’s so much care, support and encouragement flowing from one to another it is uplifting to witness it.
Whole class....take a bow.
Sending you positive thoughts from Western Europe (I’m 1 moth sober tonight! :-))
Victor
It’s been said many times here and it’s true..You are a great bunch of people to be with!
Reading over the posts from the past day or two, there’s so much care, support and encouragement flowing from one to another it is uplifting to witness it.
Whole class....take a bow.
Sending you positive thoughts from Western Europe (I’m 1 moth sober tonight! :-))
Victor
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Today is the last day driving free. I didn't have the energy to take a drive. Worried about making sure I have all the paperwork required. I think I am taking around six different types of ID. Sorry folks but this is seriously ridiculous. There's no need to go that far... believe me DMV knows who I am. I'm kinda down tonite. I'm starting to feel and think about never being able to do anything because background checks will be constantly run and I will be ruled out of everything because of all my past mistakes including this one. I also feel I will never be with anyone... it was bad enough before drinking but now sober... who would want me... I know I'm probably being irrational but it feels all too real.
I did go to Walmart and bought a bag of carrots and some celery and the rest all junk food. I bought Pumpkin Spice Twinkies.... yes I am definitely going down a food hell hole.
It's good to see everyone posting... I looked forward to reading them when I got home. GB thanks for reaching out. You have a good heart. Church is not for me.... I tried tons and finally figured out to stop. Church is the place I feel furthest from God - truly. I think if I had to go to church every Sunday, I would lose my faith completely.
My mom just called - I think she is anxious as I am about going to get the interlock. That makes me feel bad too. We are going to go early though and eat at iHop... I haven't at there in over ten years so I guess that will be a treat. I hope things go okay - I have all my paperwork and then some for the ID's. Hopefully I will be able to go from the interlock place to the DMV and get my restricted license all done tomorrow. FYI people.. a DUI will definitely wear you out. Can't wait to get through all this anxiety and worry and be able to feel comfortable in my skin again.
I did go to Walmart and bought a bag of carrots and some celery and the rest all junk food. I bought Pumpkin Spice Twinkies.... yes I am definitely going down a food hell hole.
It's good to see everyone posting... I looked forward to reading them when I got home. GB thanks for reaching out. You have a good heart. Church is not for me.... I tried tons and finally figured out to stop. Church is the place I feel furthest from God - truly. I think if I had to go to church every Sunday, I would lose my faith completely.
My mom just called - I think she is anxious as I am about going to get the interlock. That makes me feel bad too. We are going to go early though and eat at iHop... I haven't at there in over ten years so I guess that will be a treat. I hope things go okay - I have all my paperwork and then some for the ID's. Hopefully I will be able to go from the interlock place to the DMV and get my restricted license all done tomorrow. FYI people.. a DUI will definitely wear you out. Can't wait to get through all this anxiety and worry and be able to feel comfortable in my skin again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 107
Soul: We have to get you up. You're very down on yourself and I've seen this deepening as you progress in your situation. What can we do to lift you up? What do you enjoy the most? What is your plan for when you get down like this? Have you considered counseling?
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Thanks That's the big problem of it. There is nothing I can actively do. It is just going to take time. Bits of my fate are in other's hands and until those decisions are made or not then I am living in limbo. It's the waiting that is killing me. I'm one of those people that can't feel settled unless things are. There is a work decision that is going on, court and the paper. I believe if I can get past those things unscathed then I will be in a stronger position to carry on and do the rest of what has been requested of me. My OCD anal self wants all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed now. Unfortunately, I am not in control of any of that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Hey all.
Hope everyone is good.
Crazy day today. I know I dont have a lot to say most of the time and im not good at giving feedback. But please know that all of you help me tremendously, even if its just reading your posts. Im glad to be part of this class.
Brighten
Hope everyone is good.
Crazy day today. I know I dont have a lot to say most of the time and im not good at giving feedback. But please know that all of you help me tremendously, even if its just reading your posts. Im glad to be part of this class.
Brighten
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
BOB!!! hurray!! your back!!! As long as your posting you are not a failure!! Stop talking that way!!
Soul- I wish there was something I could say that can remove that cloud following you around. as you said, so much is out of your control. I agree with GB, is there anyone you can talk to face to face?
Had a decent day, finished cleaning out the last area I had that I used to keep my stash, (the linen cupboard in the bathroom) again, I had concerns about the forgotten bottle but happily there was none.
Baked some more pumpkin/banana loaves, and an apple fritter bread. All without wine, imagine that. I still can't follow a recipe correctly, but the things that I am discovering which can actually be done sober! who would have thought,,, truly amazing
badge
Soul- I wish there was something I could say that can remove that cloud following you around. as you said, so much is out of your control. I agree with GB, is there anyone you can talk to face to face?
Had a decent day, finished cleaning out the last area I had that I used to keep my stash, (the linen cupboard in the bathroom) again, I had concerns about the forgotten bottle but happily there was none.
Baked some more pumpkin/banana loaves, and an apple fritter bread. All without wine, imagine that. I still can't follow a recipe correctly, but the things that I am discovering which can actually be done sober! who would have thought,,, truly amazing
badge
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Hey all, I agree completely about complacency. I’ll have to stay vigilant...forever! I’m really trying to plan my time better, particularly weekend time when I’m less likely to drink. This has meant I’ve had less idle time, for sitting and contemplating even drinking. I learnt this from one of my favourite designers. He pretty much plans his days, weeks and even months in advance. I’m not just as rigorous but do find this helps and can clear your mind to focus on other things if you’ve got a lot going on.
Congrats Victor, that’s brilliant!
Hey Soulshine. Sorry you’re feeling down but it will pass. And if you aren’t drinking now it’s unlikely you’ll have to go through a situation like this again. We all have regrets and bad situations that alcohol has created for us. I try not to dwell on the past. All I can do is handle what is happening right now and make the most of this clean sheet that quitting alcohol has given me. I really hope you get through this rough patch and we can continue to give you advice if needed.
Congrats Victor, that’s brilliant!
Hey Soulshine. Sorry you’re feeling down but it will pass. And if you aren’t drinking now it’s unlikely you’ll have to go through a situation like this again. We all have regrets and bad situations that alcohol has created for us. I try not to dwell on the past. All I can do is handle what is happening right now and make the most of this clean sheet that quitting alcohol has given me. I really hope you get through this rough patch and we can continue to give you advice if needed.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Also I was just thinking. What has made this time quitting alcohol much easier for me, is that I’ve actually read up on addiction and ways to get over it. I’ve been studying as much as I can about it. The last few times I quit I was ill prepared and had no information on it. I work part time in a shop and part time freelance in design. I was thinking of how many hours I’ve spent learning design and studying books and stuff online. If I put the same emphasis on overcoming alcohol abuse (which is much more important for me right now) I should be flying. I’m a huge reader so if anybody had links to good articles, pdfs, etc on this subject or literature that has helped them on their journey I’d love to check them out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 107
Soul: I strongly disagree with you when you say that there is nothing you can do, that you will just have to wait it out. I'm not trying to be negative or push you or anything of the sort so if I am overstepping my role here then please just be frank and tell me.
There is always going to be something you can do to lift your spirits. It's only that in certain situations we don't necessarily KNOW what to do or we don't SEE a potential solution because we are so down. Nobody loves me, nobody will ever want me, this mistake has ruined me, nobody will hire me, I'll be in financial ruin, I'll lose everything. I know this for a fact because when I used to cycle down due to my being bipolar I didn't use my supports. I didn't implement a plan. I didn't try to work around it or anything of the sort. I have been exactly where you are all too many times but it is only now that I realize that a solution is out there at all times. Sometimes we just have to work harder and be more aggressive at finding the solution but it is there.
Recommendation: Make a list of potential uplifting things to do. Go through that list one by one when you feel like you do now. Realize that depression/loneliness/etc is a temporary state of mind. Realize that although there are things out of your control that YOU are always in control of your situation. You cannot control other people's actions but you can control your reaction to those actions.
Fight. Push. Scratch, claw, and lift yourself up. You can and will do it! Have increased faith and confidence! Let's all come together and get you out of this darkness.
Scriptures for you.
Psalm 119:6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
This same sentiment also appears in Hebrews 13:6 So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"
There is always going to be something you can do to lift your spirits. It's only that in certain situations we don't necessarily KNOW what to do or we don't SEE a potential solution because we are so down. Nobody loves me, nobody will ever want me, this mistake has ruined me, nobody will hire me, I'll be in financial ruin, I'll lose everything. I know this for a fact because when I used to cycle down due to my being bipolar I didn't use my supports. I didn't implement a plan. I didn't try to work around it or anything of the sort. I have been exactly where you are all too many times but it is only now that I realize that a solution is out there at all times. Sometimes we just have to work harder and be more aggressive at finding the solution but it is there.
Recommendation: Make a list of potential uplifting things to do. Go through that list one by one when you feel like you do now. Realize that depression/loneliness/etc is a temporary state of mind. Realize that although there are things out of your control that YOU are always in control of your situation. You cannot control other people's actions but you can control your reaction to those actions.
Fight. Push. Scratch, claw, and lift yourself up. You can and will do it! Have increased faith and confidence! Let's all come together and get you out of this darkness.
Scriptures for you.
Psalm 119:6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
This same sentiment also appears in Hebrews 13:6 So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
No offense taken. I am open to any thoughts to think about, even if I don't take them. Yes I do have to keep some positive thoughts in my head. My mom keeps saying if I lose my job, I was looking for one when I found this one. My more practical mind thinks....and it was so hard and so lucky that I got it. I am so grounded in the real and find it hard to think of the lucky, dream stuff unless I am drinking. That is where I find the impossible being possible for me.
I am sure that I have had depression for a long time, living alone like I am. I have tried so many antidepressants through the years its ridiculous and none have worked. Exercise and diet will probably work better for me than any prescription... it's just getting myself to do it. (NYE resolutions already set in stone). Therapy is out of the question for a multitude of reasons that I won't argue with anyone. SR is truly a lifesaver for me. I wish I would have worked it before all of this happened cos I was here - I was just blinking in and out and then going on binges. This time I am taking it serious and not just reading but posting as much as I can. And reading all kinds of different things and writing down the ones that resonate or I want to try.
I am making a plan - I have some days off for Thanksgiving and nothing else to do (but stay sober). What I mean is a written plan. I have been noting links and reading some that Dee has put on various threads. I will be armed with some hard copy stuff for Christmas and NYE. Even though I don't think I will be dealing with bad AV stuff until Feb, I don't want to be stupid again and slip just because I am not prepared. I like what Doubledee wrote too about educating thyself. I am seeking out former alcoholic books (ditto on what doubledee said about posting titles and authors of books) - I just read Blackout by Sarah Hepola. While a lot of it didn't resonate, some of it really did. Too bad she didn't write more about what she did when she got sober.
So I really am doing things that I can. It's just the ones that are a wait and see that are troubling me. There is nothing to do about it. Time marches on (just not marching quick enough right now). I think even though it will be upsetting and I'm sure a learning curve to get comfortable with the interlock, this part of starting it will be over today and I think I will feel a bit better because of that. Please think of me - I pray that I can get it all done and over with today. (DMV gods be with me). I also hope the people putting it on aren't mean.. I will be running into them every month for the next eleven.
On a side note.... it's so sad about David Cassidy. He was an drinker too. I was one of those teen girls that was in love with him and had TeenBeat mag and other's pages with his pic in my room. I remember singing that song "I Think I Love You" with my cousin on a cassette tape ..... it would be hilarious to listen to if it still existed. Also this week Mel Tillis and Della Rees passed and who will everyone hate now that Charlie Manson is gone? He was an addict too born from an addict mother....
I'm almost out the door... I hope everyone has a wonderful day and if you struggle I hope you come here and post. I will later when I get back.
I am sure that I have had depression for a long time, living alone like I am. I have tried so many antidepressants through the years its ridiculous and none have worked. Exercise and diet will probably work better for me than any prescription... it's just getting myself to do it. (NYE resolutions already set in stone). Therapy is out of the question for a multitude of reasons that I won't argue with anyone. SR is truly a lifesaver for me. I wish I would have worked it before all of this happened cos I was here - I was just blinking in and out and then going on binges. This time I am taking it serious and not just reading but posting as much as I can. And reading all kinds of different things and writing down the ones that resonate or I want to try.
I am making a plan - I have some days off for Thanksgiving and nothing else to do (but stay sober). What I mean is a written plan. I have been noting links and reading some that Dee has put on various threads. I will be armed with some hard copy stuff for Christmas and NYE. Even though I don't think I will be dealing with bad AV stuff until Feb, I don't want to be stupid again and slip just because I am not prepared. I like what Doubledee wrote too about educating thyself. I am seeking out former alcoholic books (ditto on what doubledee said about posting titles and authors of books) - I just read Blackout by Sarah Hepola. While a lot of it didn't resonate, some of it really did. Too bad she didn't write more about what she did when she got sober.
So I really am doing things that I can. It's just the ones that are a wait and see that are troubling me. There is nothing to do about it. Time marches on (just not marching quick enough right now). I think even though it will be upsetting and I'm sure a learning curve to get comfortable with the interlock, this part of starting it will be over today and I think I will feel a bit better because of that. Please think of me - I pray that I can get it all done and over with today. (DMV gods be with me). I also hope the people putting it on aren't mean.. I will be running into them every month for the next eleven.
On a side note.... it's so sad about David Cassidy. He was an drinker too. I was one of those teen girls that was in love with him and had TeenBeat mag and other's pages with his pic in my room. I remember singing that song "I Think I Love You" with my cousin on a cassette tape ..... it would be hilarious to listen to if it still existed. Also this week Mel Tillis and Della Rees passed and who will everyone hate now that Charlie Manson is gone? He was an addict too born from an addict mother....
I'm almost out the door... I hope everyone has a wonderful day and if you struggle I hope you come here and post. I will later when I get back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 253
Good afternoon everyone. Today has been a good day so far. Very productive. got in work early and have got loads done.
Soul - I have been where you are. Very depressed/feeling trapped because there's things going on I have no control over. I've gone through periods of time when I've felt so stuck in a bad situation, suicide felt like the only way out. I didn't do it because of my family but the thoughts were there a lot of the time. Can I suggest you have a look at youtube and some of these people, one of them might say something that "gets" you. Byron Katie, Abraham Hicks, Bentinho Massaro, Teal Swan. Abraham Hicks has a lot of videos on addiction and for some reason this time round I found them really useful and I listened to a lot of them. Teal is someone I will look into when I'm feeling really down as her teachings seem to focus on getting out of those dark emotional holes we find ourselves in. She did one on suicide that she released once when I was really bad and it helped me tremendously that day.
Badge great news about not finding any bottles. I've checked everywhere but I still get nervous when we have workmen or someone round who starts moving things or when my OH starts looking in cupboards and stuff.
Doubledee - I completely agree. After the last 2/3 relapses I have really started to look into recovery and how that is different from just abstinence. Recovery is the real work whichever road you choose to go down.
Lulu/Kit/Wax - are you all ok?
Bob - you should defo stick around here. How are things going?
Brighten love your check ins. You are on the same day count as me
I've got a dentist appointment this afternoon. 2 bloody fillings. I'm gutted they are the first I'm having to have
My sugar addiction is not helping with that!!
Have a lovely day and I'll probably check in again in the morning. xx
Soul - I have been where you are. Very depressed/feeling trapped because there's things going on I have no control over. I've gone through periods of time when I've felt so stuck in a bad situation, suicide felt like the only way out. I didn't do it because of my family but the thoughts were there a lot of the time. Can I suggest you have a look at youtube and some of these people, one of them might say something that "gets" you. Byron Katie, Abraham Hicks, Bentinho Massaro, Teal Swan. Abraham Hicks has a lot of videos on addiction and for some reason this time round I found them really useful and I listened to a lot of them. Teal is someone I will look into when I'm feeling really down as her teachings seem to focus on getting out of those dark emotional holes we find ourselves in. She did one on suicide that she released once when I was really bad and it helped me tremendously that day.
Badge great news about not finding any bottles. I've checked everywhere but I still get nervous when we have workmen or someone round who starts moving things or when my OH starts looking in cupboards and stuff.
Doubledee - I completely agree. After the last 2/3 relapses I have really started to look into recovery and how that is different from just abstinence. Recovery is the real work whichever road you choose to go down.
Lulu/Kit/Wax - are you all ok?
Bob - you should defo stick around here. How are things going?
Brighten love your check ins. You are on the same day count as me
I've got a dentist appointment this afternoon. 2 bloody fillings. I'm gutted they are the first I'm having to have
My sugar addiction is not helping with that!!Have a lovely day and I'll probably check in again in the morning. xx
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