Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 4
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Lulu my allergies aren't as bad as yours but plenty bad enough all my life. Some of my earliest school memories are of my nose running that clear stuff and me constantly rubbing my nose. In fact I rub my nose all the time anyway, it's a habit. Too bad they didn't have rx nasal sprays back then - they have allowed me to live without the constant runny nose. I take generic claritin too. Allergies and sinus problems suck that is for sure. I wish we would have seasons like we used to. Back in the day when it was winter, it was cold. Nowadays it is a one day or week cold and then a few warms ones. It screws my body up and I end up feeling bad or sick. I think that is why the flu and bugs are so bad every year now. All that warmness and germies all over the place and no cold to kill everything off.
badge I always threw everything in my trash but every single time on garbage day I would wonder what the trashmen thought. I couldn't be having that many parties so they have to know over the years how much I drank on a weekly basis. I would put my 12,18&24 pk boxes behind a door and it was unbelievable how many would fall out in the floor when the door started to move forward and I would know I needed to get rid of them. They would fill a black garbage bag not the kitchen one. Driving to and from work has been kinda surreal here lately. First a different car that runs... I was always having problems with the one I wrecked. Then not being hungover on the way to and not thinking about where I would go and how I would pay on the way home. Making sure I would get a twenty out of the ATM before I left work, should I go back to the same place I went two days or even the day prior and sometimes I just didn't care and would use the debit card at the drive thru. I would wonder what the salesperson thought about me too. I would pretend sometimes that they may think I was getting it for the nonexistent bf or husband. yea whatever. I'm going to work now anxious as hell about not having the job to go to in the near future. I'm coming home thinking about if I have something to eat and being so glad another day is over, wondering if the court summons is in the mailbox, and after getting in the door a relief that I am safe for one more nite until the morning. Coming in here is the thing that helps the most with my anxiety- most of the time. Thank God. If I can just make it thru and keep my job I can enjoy driving to work and back (after I get over having the car arrest stuff). If I can keep my job, I can start the job of rebuilding on solid ground. I think of never drinking again and am ok with it - sometimes it feels like a big relief, a lot less worry. And sometimes it makes me a little anxious. I think about rebuilding my life even though I do have spots of time when I feel like its too effed to ever get ahead again. I wish a lot for next year to already be here. And also for it to be this time next year. That's when the real building will begin. Up until then it will just trying to get some solid ground put in place.
I hope everyone has a good Saturday morning. I cleaned up some paper yesterday but it is still slow going. But I do have several trash bags full of stuff ready for the trash. I am such a packrat with paper it is ridiculous. One thing about being at ground zero here is that I am having a less care about attitude of keeping things and have been able to throw things I've been hanging onto for years in the garbage without a problem. I am also cleaning up computer clutter which is just as bad and just as time-consuming. By Jan I should have a lot less junk hanging over me.
badge I always threw everything in my trash but every single time on garbage day I would wonder what the trashmen thought. I couldn't be having that many parties so they have to know over the years how much I drank on a weekly basis. I would put my 12,18&24 pk boxes behind a door and it was unbelievable how many would fall out in the floor when the door started to move forward and I would know I needed to get rid of them. They would fill a black garbage bag not the kitchen one. Driving to and from work has been kinda surreal here lately. First a different car that runs... I was always having problems with the one I wrecked. Then not being hungover on the way to and not thinking about where I would go and how I would pay on the way home. Making sure I would get a twenty out of the ATM before I left work, should I go back to the same place I went two days or even the day prior and sometimes I just didn't care and would use the debit card at the drive thru. I would wonder what the salesperson thought about me too. I would pretend sometimes that they may think I was getting it for the nonexistent bf or husband. yea whatever. I'm going to work now anxious as hell about not having the job to go to in the near future. I'm coming home thinking about if I have something to eat and being so glad another day is over, wondering if the court summons is in the mailbox, and after getting in the door a relief that I am safe for one more nite until the morning. Coming in here is the thing that helps the most with my anxiety- most of the time. Thank God. If I can just make it thru and keep my job I can enjoy driving to work and back (after I get over having the car arrest stuff). If I can keep my job, I can start the job of rebuilding on solid ground. I think of never drinking again and am ok with it - sometimes it feels like a big relief, a lot less worry. And sometimes it makes me a little anxious. I think about rebuilding my life even though I do have spots of time when I feel like its too effed to ever get ahead again. I wish a lot for next year to already be here. And also for it to be this time next year. That's when the real building will begin. Up until then it will just trying to get some solid ground put in place.
I hope everyone has a good Saturday morning. I cleaned up some paper yesterday but it is still slow going. But I do have several trash bags full of stuff ready for the trash. I am such a packrat with paper it is ridiculous. One thing about being at ground zero here is that I am having a less care about attitude of keeping things and have been able to throw things I've been hanging onto for years in the garbage without a problem. I am also cleaning up computer clutter which is just as bad and just as time-consuming. By Jan I should have a lot less junk hanging over me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Soul - I'm at the stage of feeling that fear of not having a job (even though I just got one and quit -and I ask myself why did I quit?) This feeling is horrible and it's a nightmare. I think that I will never get another job. I've been suffering for YEARS from chemical sensitivity at work and it's a real thing. People don't understand that perfumes and the smell of cigarettes highly effect others. Not sure what I am in for here. I have no one if I don't ever get a job. My family could care less. And my mother is guilt-tripping me out I can't stand it. I have 10 or so companies I will apply, and go to some temp agencies. But this crazy way of living has got to stop....I just want to settle down and go to work and back....just like you said that's all you want right now. It's maddening. And not sure I can stop this feeling until I get a job.
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Lulu 
I feel every word you wrote. I just want to keep this job and go to work. The things that others take for granted, they haven't a clue (me a couple a months ago). I'm praying for ya. If I lose my job there aren't many places to go to do anything near what I am doing now. I fear not getting a job in one of those places and also fear just having to try and see if food service or a grocery store would take me.... I thought that I did my time with those - a good 15+ years. Not that there is anything wrong with it.. but I feel like the college I am doing right now is all for naught if I lose my job. I struggled so long to get the courage to go and now look at me.... I'd give anything to go back and realize what all I had. My mom is there for me and I'm on a guilt trip over that .... I am sure that will last a long time.
I feel every word you wrote. I just want to keep this job and go to work. The things that others take for granted, they haven't a clue (me a couple a months ago). I'm praying for ya. If I lose my job there aren't many places to go to do anything near what I am doing now. I fear not getting a job in one of those places and also fear just having to try and see if food service or a grocery store would take me.... I thought that I did my time with those - a good 15+ years. Not that there is anything wrong with it.. but I feel like the college I am doing right now is all for naught if I lose my job. I struggled so long to get the courage to go and now look at me.... I'd give anything to go back and realize what all I had. My mom is there for me and I'm on a guilt trip over that .... I am sure that will last a long time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Lulu- we seriously have something in commmon. Chemical sensitivity, food allergies (for me), and allergies period. It’s misery right? It’s auto immune problems and I can’t work. Singulair did help everything though so I’m hoping by going back on it I’ll improve a good amount.
They gave me a low dose of daily hydrocortisone. It was amazing, soon I became allergic to it!!!!
What the Hell !!!!!???
I’m going to contact my dr of integrative medicine Monday and see if there is an alternative or if I can have it made with no additives at the special lab I use. I can’t imagine being allergic to a naturally occurring hormone in the body.
So it’s back on the auto immune diet. Florida should help. I’m currently popping psuedophed, Benadryl, Singulair, Nasacort nose spray etc. I’m sure the burning soar throat is allergy to the cortisone pill. Going to call that phamacy lab today actually.
Ok I’d like to sell a couple more things before I go. I gotta get on that. A time crunch means less money.
Vipe
They gave me a low dose of daily hydrocortisone. It was amazing, soon I became allergic to it!!!!
What the Hell !!!!!??? I’m going to contact my dr of integrative medicine Monday and see if there is an alternative or if I can have it made with no additives at the special lab I use. I can’t imagine being allergic to a naturally occurring hormone in the body.
So it’s back on the auto immune diet. Florida should help. I’m currently popping psuedophed, Benadryl, Singulair, Nasacort nose spray etc. I’m sure the burning soar throat is allergy to the cortisone pill. Going to call that phamacy lab today actually.
Ok I’d like to sell a couple more things before I go. I gotta get on that. A time crunch means less money.
Vipe
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Viper - I do have that auto-immune disease and it's only getting worse. I'm literally in a panic, I wish it was Monday so I could be calling and looking for interviews. I think I might apply for disability and see where that takes me. I can go down in the morning on Monday and speak with someone in person. My last really good job I literally hung onto for dear life for them to let me go because of all the complaining I did about the perfume. The only companies that are interested now at this moment are back in CA. Go figure. I too am spraying nose sprays and taking Benadryl and Singulair and Claritin. Soul - I wish I could go back to....I would have done things a lot different. This is truly a struggle.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
LuLu and Soul, I hate seeing people having to use so many of the inhalers and anti histamines, they also are addictive, and do not work in the long term use. Have you looked into the holistic end of it? Stinging Nettle, etc,,,
Badge
Badge
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
badge thanks for caring
I wish non-rx would help but my allergies are so bad I do have to take rx. I suffered horribly until I was around 23 and finally in an allergy attack got a doc that prescribed something for me. I can remember taking days off work and just laying in bed with a wet rag over my face and sneezing over and over before I could stop (ain't going back to that). The spray I take is something that is not addictive (not like the OTC things). I ration the clairitin, not taking it every day. When I have had allergy testing I'm allergic to almost all of it: mold, cockroaches, cat, dog, trees, grass, pollen, etc, etc. Without the nasal spray I am completely miserable.
I wish non-rx would help but my allergies are so bad I do have to take rx. I suffered horribly until I was around 23 and finally in an allergy attack got a doc that prescribed something for me. I can remember taking days off work and just laying in bed with a wet rag over my face and sneezing over and over before I could stop (ain't going back to that). The spray I take is something that is not addictive (not like the OTC things). I ration the clairitin, not taking it every day. When I have had allergy testing I'm allergic to almost all of it: mold, cockroaches, cat, dog, trees, grass, pollen, etc, etc. Without the nasal spray I am completely miserable.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
I had a long day. I had an issue with the Gap store. I used like $70 in rewards dollars and returned the items right away. They kept saying they’d reissue the rewards and kept not doing it. It’s been almost year. I called customer service and was getting no where after 10 minutes. I asked for the supervisor and basically told her ‘the rewards were going back on my card and they were going back on their right now. This is ridiculous I’ve called you guys 4 times and it’s been almost a year. I’m done with this crap. Do you hear me!?’
Soooo I got a couple of $5 coupons in the email the next day, and she said it would take a couple of weeks. Then I got an email: Here is $250 in Rewards. $250? Plus the other $10? They hooked me up.
Gap had 60% off everything in the store this weekend. I took my sick friend down there. Pushed her around in a wheelchair because she’s very weak. And bought about $700 in merchandise for her with that $260 in free money. She got a lot of stuff. Warm winter coat (long nylon shell with furry inside and a huge hood, nice cold weather tech hoodie, a bunch of shirts and light hoodies, super high quality leggings that she’s wears as pants. It was an ordeal, but she went home with 2 large gap bags full of stuff. Got home at 10!!!
Exhausted. Snacking and will go to bed.
Viper
Soooo I got a couple of $5 coupons in the email the next day, and she said it would take a couple of weeks. Then I got an email: Here is $250 in Rewards. $250? Plus the other $10? They hooked me up.
Gap had 60% off everything in the store this weekend. I took my sick friend down there. Pushed her around in a wheelchair because she’s very weak. And bought about $700 in merchandise for her with that $260 in free money. She got a lot of stuff. Warm winter coat (long nylon shell with furry inside and a huge hood, nice cold weather tech hoodie, a bunch of shirts and light hoodies, super high quality leggings that she’s wears as pants. It was an ordeal, but she went home with 2 large gap bags full of stuff. Got home at 10!!!
Exhausted. Snacking and will go to bed.
Viper
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Lulu, have you tried an Auto Immmune Diet? It’s strict but it’s worth it. There is the Auto Immune Paleo or AIP. I used a more version of that. It helped emensly. Let me know if you want to know what I’ve done that helped.
Viper
Viper
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 149
Quick post, as I have to shoot out to work. I’m on a month sober today. ��
Badger - Great post the other day, or was it yesterday? Not sure, with the time pene difference. I also look forward to coming on this forum. It’s good to talk to people on the same journey.
Lulu - Being unemployed is very tough but I’m sure you’ll find something suitable. You have our support
Lulu and Badge - I always complain about allergies but I don’t even have it a fraction as bad as you guys. Hope you find a cure or a way to deal with it.
Badger - Great post the other day, or was it yesterday? Not sure, with the time pene difference. I also look forward to coming on this forum. It’s good to talk to people on the same journey.
Lulu - Being unemployed is very tough but I’m sure you’ll find something suitable. You have our support
Lulu and Badge - I always complain about allergies but I don’t even have it a fraction as bad as you guys. Hope you find a cure or a way to deal with it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Wow this feels so long since I did this, wake up and have a coffee and get on here and post...
Should never of left you guys!
I'm sorry I just disappeared...
Last Saturday my friend came over and we had a lovely day, I have been convinced I can drink normally again so that day I shared a bottle of wine, just sipped two glasses and all went well...
Anyway got to Wednesday this last week and decided a bottle of red wine with my dinner would be good, two bottles later and I blacked out and was throwing up everywhere, disgusting I know, on my binges I could breeze through two bottles of wine and that would be nothing, I'd be drinking for several days solid and all kinds I just made the stupid decision to get the second bottle and it made me so ill, the worst part is the next morn when I woke in bits and feeling like death I picked up the glass of wine left on the side and downed it, then drank 8 beers during the day "to get through it" ... Been so ill for three days since. It's not felt like withdrawels as I didn't drink enough but the worst strangest headache, awful anxiety and being in the most irritable mood...
It's made me realise just how much alcohol f***s my whole system up, 3 full days to recover. I'm just getting up now 10am here...late for me to get up but only just feeling human again...
Going to the Xmas Dickensian Festival here with my good friend who doesn't drink, the thought of a drink right now makes me feel sick... So a wander round the fest then Sunday dinner...
I'm so sorry I havent checked in and shared, I just went off in my own daft mindset and totally messed up. I have so much to catch up on and hope I'm welcome back as could really do with you guys right now.
I hope everyone is doing ok!
Thinking of you all too and belated HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
K x
Should never of left you guys!
I'm sorry I just disappeared...
Last Saturday my friend came over and we had a lovely day, I have been convinced I can drink normally again so that day I shared a bottle of wine, just sipped two glasses and all went well...
Anyway got to Wednesday this last week and decided a bottle of red wine with my dinner would be good, two bottles later and I blacked out and was throwing up everywhere, disgusting I know, on my binges I could breeze through two bottles of wine and that would be nothing, I'd be drinking for several days solid and all kinds I just made the stupid decision to get the second bottle and it made me so ill, the worst part is the next morn when I woke in bits and feeling like death I picked up the glass of wine left on the side and downed it, then drank 8 beers during the day "to get through it" ... Been so ill for three days since. It's not felt like withdrawels as I didn't drink enough but the worst strangest headache, awful anxiety and being in the most irritable mood...
It's made me realise just how much alcohol f***s my whole system up, 3 full days to recover. I'm just getting up now 10am here...late for me to get up but only just feeling human again...
Going to the Xmas Dickensian Festival here with my good friend who doesn't drink, the thought of a drink right now makes me feel sick... So a wander round the fest then Sunday dinner...
I'm so sorry I havent checked in and shared, I just went off in my own daft mindset and totally messed up. I have so much to catch up on and hope I'm welcome back as could really do with you guys right now.
I hope everyone is doing ok!
Thinking of you all too and belated HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
K x
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Kit glad to have you back. Sounds like some of the horrible binges I've been on.... what you described about drinking a couple of glasses on one night being okay and then a few days later going off the deep end with it is something I have done in years past trying to moderate. It never worked for me. I would try and try and pretend that I was doing it (a lie) but I wasn't. This past year I started out halfway ok due to a medical procedure and some other events but by June I was off skipping from binge to binge, some worse than others. It was a slippery slope for me and I kept falling. If I had not gotten the DUI, I'm sure this past weekend would have been a blur. So glad you are ok.
glad to have you back. Sounds like some of the horrible binges I've been on.... what you described about drinking a couple of glasses on one night being okay and then a few days later going off the deep end with it is something I have done in years past trying to moderate. It never worked for me. I would try and try and pretend that I was doing it (a lie) but I wasn't. This past year I started out halfway ok due to a medical procedure and some other events but by June I was off skipping from binge to binge, some worse than others. It was a slippery slope for me and I kept falling. If I had not gotten the DUI, I'm sure this past weekend would have been a blur. So glad you are ok.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Kit - sorry you drank, but you are back. I've been at that place so many times. It will never work no matter how we convince ourselves that maybe we are different than everyone else who struggle with alcohol and think that we can handle just one drink.
I have a question to all: After a bender that is after the last 10 benders....do the panic and anxiety get worse or does it just depend? I feel as if my panic and anxiety are really bad (rightfully so due to unemployment)...are these horrible feelings due to circumstance or the chemical imbalance from the last bender? Could it be my subconscious telling me that I am being defeated by alcohol or just plain ole doom and gloom because I put myself in this situation and it all could have been avoided....(or maybe not avoided because of circumstance, ie: things will happen no matter what like getting laid off or car breaks down)?
And does anyone else cuss? I mean just cuss when you are alone when you drop something or stub your toe or hit your head accidentally?
I need to take things down a couple of notches with this panic and anxiety...and it is only getting worse by thinking these high out-of-control feelings will never go away. Or are they justified due to the unemployment?
I have a question to all: After a bender that is after the last 10 benders....do the panic and anxiety get worse or does it just depend? I feel as if my panic and anxiety are really bad (rightfully so due to unemployment)...are these horrible feelings due to circumstance or the chemical imbalance from the last bender? Could it be my subconscious telling me that I am being defeated by alcohol or just plain ole doom and gloom because I put myself in this situation and it all could have been avoided....(or maybe not avoided because of circumstance, ie: things will happen no matter what like getting laid off or car breaks down)?
And does anyone else cuss? I mean just cuss when you are alone when you drop something or stub your toe or hit your head accidentally?
I need to take things down a couple of notches with this panic and anxiety...and it is only getting worse by thinking these high out-of-control feelings will never go away. Or are they justified due to the unemployment?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
Yeah Kits back!! I am sorry you had such a rough binge though, sounds so much like what I would do if given half a chance.
Now,,, where is Wax???
Congrats on the big 30 Double Dee!!
LuLu= oh yes, I do swear that I swear,, I call it my jail voice. words just kind of puke out my mouth sometimes,,,,
Celebrating turkey day today with husband, so had best get myself off the computer and doing something,,,
take care all
badge
Now,,, where is Wax???
Congrats on the big 30 Double Dee!!
LuLu= oh yes, I do swear that I swear,, I call it my jail voice. words just kind of puke out my mouth sometimes,,,,
Celebrating turkey day today with husband, so had best get myself off the computer and doing something,,,
take care all
badge
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