The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I haven't been to AA/NA in over a month, nor talked to my sponsor. Just my counselor.
I finally have some time to myself now that school has started. All I feel like doing is sleeping. I am so burnt out. Weekend comes and by evening I'm exhausted. I'd rather be alone.
And I have to use my spare day time, when i'm not napping away some exhaustion, looking for more work, balancing my budget, dealing with court stuff, unreasonable people, computer work long left unfinished.
I don't have interest in much, all this spare time and losing one full time child for good equals a drastic reduction in income. I picked up two other casual jobs to try and fill in my extra time.
Not to mention, it could be worse- SO much worse. I count my blessings still, every last little one of them.
I wish I could help people who are fighting or dealing with things so far beyond their control.
There is no time or space for petty, childish things in my life. I try to remember that too.
So, I have no interest in that stuff. I just need to get by, remember that the only thing in my control are my actions and reactions. Trust the process, do the next right thing.
Good refrain, kept me away from bad places last night.
I finally have some time to myself now that school has started. All I feel like doing is sleeping. I am so burnt out. Weekend comes and by evening I'm exhausted. I'd rather be alone.
And I have to use my spare day time, when i'm not napping away some exhaustion, looking for more work, balancing my budget, dealing with court stuff, unreasonable people, computer work long left unfinished.
I don't have interest in much, all this spare time and losing one full time child for good equals a drastic reduction in income. I picked up two other casual jobs to try and fill in my extra time.
Not to mention, it could be worse- SO much worse. I count my blessings still, every last little one of them.
I wish I could help people who are fighting or dealing with things so far beyond their control.
There is no time or space for petty, childish things in my life. I try to remember that too.
So, I have no interest in that stuff. I just need to get by, remember that the only thing in my control are my actions and reactions. Trust the process, do the next right thing.
Good refrain, kept me away from bad places last night.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I am extremely proud of you, Del.
Even when you are beyond downtrodden and at your wits' end, you always manage to bring your emotions into alignment with wisdom and reason and what you know to be the truth. I really admire that.
Even when you are beyond downtrodden and at your wits' end, you always manage to bring your emotions into alignment with wisdom and reason and what you know to be the truth. I really admire that.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Del, I agree with Gilmer that you're doing a good job of maintaining your sense of direction.
But I'm worried that you're so isolated in recovery. The most important thing I learned when I was getting sober was to ask for help. If you cut yourself off from support, it becomes harder and harder to overcome the internal barrier that keeps people like us from asking.
I didn't like AA much, and my relationship with my sponsor was frankly weird. But it was often the best even-though-still-crappy part of a crappy day to see some familiar faces who understood a part of what I was going through. My favorite part was setting up chairs
But I'm worried that you're so isolated in recovery. The most important thing I learned when I was getting sober was to ask for help. If you cut yourself off from support, it becomes harder and harder to overcome the internal barrier that keeps people like us from asking.
I didn't like AA much, and my relationship with my sponsor was frankly weird. But it was often the best even-though-still-crappy part of a crappy day to see some familiar faces who understood a part of what I was going through. My favorite part was setting up chairs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Thanks, all. I am slightly northwest of Tampa and only a quarter mile from Gulf. My house is built to latest hurricane codes and the shutters make it a fortress of sorts against the projected cat 3 winds and rain...I'm told. My concern is the surge that might be 10 feet, and the flooding it might cause. This sucks...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Fbl - Thanks for sharing your 3,000 day milestone. Your measured approach, and peace and serenity, are a nice outcome of 3,000 days of decisions to do the next right things.
Carlos - Be safe, friend.
Part of my workplace's operations are in Florida. This week has been holy hell, preparing for operations to take place up North. I have to put in lots of time, and have to do tasks outside my regular scope of work that I do not enjoy at all. Plus, regular life at home is busy with the kids' school and sports starting up.
There is a long list of things at home that need to be done, and so far today I've done none of it, nothing, because I am running on fumes. I get overwhelmed and want to hide when this happens.
To borrow from the scenario at the beginning of an airplane ride, I am putting my oxygen mask on first, prior to helping someone else with theirs. My sponsor really likes this analogy.
I'm also prioritizing. I have to rest, clean bathrooms, get ice skates fitted, and cook for the week.
First I rested to be able to organize a cohesive thought! Second I will get the skates fitted as a favor to my husband who's been stuck with all the child stuff while I've been working late, and third I'll cook so I have wholesome energizing food for the next few days. The bathrooms will have to wait!
Carlos - Be safe, friend.
Part of my workplace's operations are in Florida. This week has been holy hell, preparing for operations to take place up North. I have to put in lots of time, and have to do tasks outside my regular scope of work that I do not enjoy at all. Plus, regular life at home is busy with the kids' school and sports starting up.
There is a long list of things at home that need to be done, and so far today I've done none of it, nothing, because I am running on fumes. I get overwhelmed and want to hide when this happens.
To borrow from the scenario at the beginning of an airplane ride, I am putting my oxygen mask on first, prior to helping someone else with theirs. My sponsor really likes this analogy.
I'm also prioritizing. I have to rest, clean bathrooms, get ice skates fitted, and cook for the week.
First I rested to be able to organize a cohesive thought! Second I will get the skates fitted as a favor to my husband who's been stuck with all the child stuff while I've been working late, and third I'll cook so I have wholesome energizing food for the next few days. The bathrooms will have to wait!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Definitely can't run on dying batteries, Glee, I like the way you think.
I am thinking and praying for you Carlos, and everyone else affected. It's mind boggling to look at the news reports that I do see- I am fairly cut off from the news and I have to go looking. Most times I hear of things happening first through SR, if I haven't been in the vehicle lately.
I am thinking and praying for you Carlos, and everyone else affected. It's mind boggling to look at the news reports that I do see- I am fairly cut off from the news and I have to go looking. Most times I hear of things happening first through SR, if I haven't been in the vehicle lately.
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