Gilmer

My dad used to say, "Pull out a green one, you win a Cadillac!"

I think I might have crossed the line in posting that!

courage2

I'm still in a minor depression. I have to go to my office today and there are several people to meet with, so probably that will get me out of my head for a while.

Have a good, sober day.

Gilmer

You too, Cour. I'm so sorry you're down.

stargazer016

Hang in there JL. You can only do what you can within your life's parameters.

I hope that you enjoy your new class Gilmer, and that you get your house back. It was my daughter's birthday this weekend, and I spent a ton of time getting the yard and house ready for family to come over yesterday. It was fun, but I am exhausted. I have to work until 2:00am tonight, then fortunately have a couple of days off.

Courage, I hope that getting out and meeting people will help you get out of your head a bit.

Best wishes for a good day all!

Gilmer

Hope the day passes quickly for you, SG!

Gilmer

I spent a good portion of the day watching stand-up comics. There's a new Netflix special with Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy. Jeff Foxworthy was amusing, and for the most part Larry was, too--but there were three jokes of LCG that really put me away.

I wrote down two of them in the Recovery Follies (the third I couldn't).

Gilmer

I'm still laughing--I sound like Muttley!

gleefan

SG - You are the energizer bunny. Your work schedule would scorch me. Last week was really busy at work. Half our staff was out due to the Florida hurricane, which created a ton of work for those of us up North. I worked 6 out of 7 days for longish hours. Nothing compared to what you pound out week after week.

Cour - I get the mopes from time to time, too. I also sometimes feel like there isn't enough of me to go around. What do you do to restore after you burnout?

I am an extrovert with introverted tendencies. I like being around people but I also like solitude. To restore I read magazines with quick articles like Better Homes and Gardens or In Style. I also like crossword puzzles and fast paced games like candy crush soda crush. I have Cops taping at all times and at any given moment there are like 50 episodes stored on my DVR to watch. Another favorite is Big Brother. I'll watch popular dramas and comedies too. I also listening to music really loud while strolling on the treadmill.

Carlos - Balance is a good thing! Have you tried letting your HP in to ask for guidance on staying on the beam?

Its in my nature to work hard til I burn out... It's not always easy for me to take a balanced approach, but it feels good!!

Over the weekend I said no to working on Saturday (because of balance). I cleaned the bathrooms over the course of 3 days (instead of all at once in a frenzy). I trimmed one bush, a Japanese maple, which is the trickiest one in the yard (instead of doing all 15 in one day). I did 1 load of laundry (instead of 4 all at once). But I did cook a ridiculous amount of food all at once because I like to prep nutritious meals in advance to save money and allow the family to eat healthfully, to avoid fast food. I felt accomplished, rested, and prepared for the week ahead. In a good physical and mental place. Sometimes burnout is unavoidable, but I guess I've come a long way. We all have.

Gil - Good luck on the new class and good luck with all your guests.

JL - All you can do is take life as it comes.

Have a good day everyone.

JL2014

Thank you all for the kind words. It suprises me when I look back at how I feel when I'm posting something a day or 2 back. I feel sort of wacky that I'm SO feeling different a day or two later. Either I'm nuts or my programs working, when I'm making sure to turn things over and just live my "nows", as they come. By looking back I can really see a difference, and also that I've mostly forgotten any worries, in that most of them held almost no validity for me. My positive note for today ...... workdays over
Courage, I've noticed some depression, in myself, not the huge blasting alcoholic black hole, but a more quiet, desperate, weary, dangerous crappy feeling. I know that part of my recovery , (I.e- getting out of my own head, and all it's junk),does help me, and I apologize if I bang a drum about it by talking too much. My noggin is a jungle sometimes, and I can sure appreciate the growing number of good days, versus the pit of dammit I lived in for 20 yrs.
I've got some real PTSD stuff now ( why the hell now??? Lol), that stayed sloshed in booze, all those years. It's bad, but it really doesn't measure up to the circling the drain, while drinking.
I sure am sorry, you're down. I hate that sh-t ! ( my pop-up thought as I type this)
I hope you all have a restful night, or good day, as the time zones allow.

JL2014

Ok. I'm eating 10 Oreos, and I'm not feeling guilty....

gleefan

JL - A pit of dammit is a good a reason as any not to drink.

Nothing prepared me for the stark reality of sobriety. It felt so bleak for me throughout my first year.

AA and the 12 steps really help me. If that's what works for you, keep going, keep keep sharing, and keep telling us about it.

Gil - Laughter is good medicine too. Stand up comedy is pretty terrific.

courage2

Thanks for the encouragement and support, everyone. I think this is a chemical thing triggered by stress but now that it's here, it just has to run its course. I'm dealing with it. I went to work -- late of course, I had to cancel something because I couldn't get out of the house -- and got a little bit done, which is a lift for a bit. I'm pretty sure the mood is on the rise.

JL, I completely get the mood swings, intrusive memories -- I don't have PTSD, but I sure have those -- and weary-dangerous jungle-noggin. Deliza talks about squirrels in her head, and I have buzzing wasps. Before this was "POST" it was the Former Insanity Survivors Thread, you know.

Glee, after 3.5 years, I still don't have the anti-burnout habits you have. I read a poem a day. Today I listened to part of a chapter of Bleak House -- sounds grim but I like the reader's voice. My guilty secret is I like celebrity gossip when I know the celebrities, but I never do anymore -- why doesn't anyone report on Angelina Jolie? I play endless games of computer solitaire but that's *most definitely* not good for me!

Gilmer

FBL? Where are you? You're usually here bright and early in the morning!

stargazer016

JL, my emotional state used to swing wildly from day to day, or even hour to hour. As Glee said, early sobriety shows us a stark reality at times. I am nearly two and a half years without a drink next month, and I finally feel that I have a bit of emotional stability underneath me. The first two years were very raw and in my face. My first year, I was learning simply how not to drink on every holiday and birthday. During my second year, I became obsessed with the hows and whys of my addiction, why I allowed myself to become chemically dependent on a substance. I read a lot of scientific brain studies, as well as many books from recovering folks helping to show me the way. I feel that I have finally reached a point where alcohol and addiction is not front and center in my brain 24/7. It seems that I am finally starting to live a more normal life. I think that I have come to terms in a way with my addiction, and accepted my actions during these decades for what they were. Certainly, I have many regrets, but I am not flailing myself daily because of them. At least for the time being, it's a great place for me to reside in. I hope that you can reach this state of acceptance in the near future.

Gilmer, I love stand up comics. I am old enough to remember when Comedy Central used to run nothing but short stand up comic clips all day long. I used to love that. Laughing truly is the best medicine .

Courage, I hope that you continue to crawl out of your funk. Living in NYC must be a nonstop assault of stimuli thrown at you all day long. I couldn't keep that up day in and day out. I guess we all choose how loud to have the tv on.

Glee, I too am trying a little more restraint at home, piling small victories on top of each other instead of trying to scale the mountain all at once. It has made me generally a happier individual. Some things just aren't that important.

My kids are home because we have a teacher's strike. It is really dividing the community. Our district was horribly run for many years, and now it is facing difficult financial repercussions as a result. The teachers have forgone increases over the years and feel that they have sacrificed enough. I worked hard to get many new School Board members elected, and now they have difficult decisions to make. Of course, it is the children whom end up suffering the most in the end.

FBL, I hope Fran is feeling a bit better and out of ICU.

Del, I hope you are ok. To say I'm worried a bit would be an understatement. We love ya!

Waiting to see if hurricane Jose brings us rain or not. Sun is actually out here now, though friends of mine are down the shore and they are watching big waves hitting the dunes.

Best wishes for a good day all!

courage2

I appreciated that post, SG. I hope the strike is resolved soon.

I don't have a tv -- except for a certain level of urban hum, my apartment is very silent. The UN is convening though and I can feel that -- more helicopters, more sirens.

Today hasn't started well. But it can't be longer than 24 hours!

biminiblue

According to some rag I saw in the supermarket line yesterday, Angelina Jolie (on the cover) says, "I'm feeling a little better."

That's all from me. ::wavyemo::

courage2

bim, you're a sight for sore eyes. Truly truly. don't be so far away?

Gilmer

Cambodia has submitted Angelina's movie First They Killed My Father as its entry in the Best Foreign Film category of next year's Oscars.

biminiblue

Interesting. It's on Netflix right now.

I'm not sure I really want to watch it, though. Have you seen it?

Gilmer

No. I'd like to see it, but my TV/movie watching lately has been limited to frivolous stuff that doesn't require intense concentration. I'm trying to get a craft project finished, and I can't give full attention to both things at the same time.

I'm hoping to set aside time for it within the next week.