Dee74

There are other meeting based approaches like SMART Recovery or LifeRing you may like Leana

I'm sorry but there will be other interviews (and jobs) Tyger - staying sober means you can be ready for any opportunities that arise

D

teaorcoffee

Morning All,

TGIF - it's been a long week. Plan in place to deal with any end of the week urges.
Today should be relatively easy

Sorry about the job Tyger, glad you are looking at it in a positive way. This gives you a little more time to work on recovery and been in a great place to start a new job. It sounds like you are on the right track.

Leana, good job on the tapering. I think it is a good idea to analyse relapses to help formulate a plan to prevent one this time. Hope your meeting went well. Like Dee said, it should be possible to find one you like, even if it is online.

You are in my thoughts Determined. Stay strong my friend.

Now time to head to work.

lilymaz

Morning all! Yesterday was much as I predicted but it turned out to be such a happy and enjoyable day that it was extraordinary in its own way. Spent the full day with my wee grandson. We went to the park, I took him to the hairdresser with me then went for a coffee and shared a toasted tea cake. Simple, but overwhelming for me because everything about it was just...joyful. I really really want many more days like that!

Tyger, I am sorry you didn't get the job but glad you aren't reacting negatively and rushing into decisions. You are doing so well, things will work out.

I'm working today then off for three whole days! Plans are in place, weekends were always tough but the more that pass the better it gets to fill them in more productive and enjoyable ways than drinking.

Deter, thinking about you . We are all here for you and I can only imagine what the AV is saying, don't fall for that. You should be so proud of yourself for dealing with the harsh realities of life and not succumbing. I hope today is an easier day for you.

Have the happiest Friday you can people, and please check in purps and forwards.

Forwards

Morning all. Day 46 for me. It's my birthday! I would normally celebrate by drinking but today I'm going for a sober meal with my family.

Hoping for overnight home leave from the hospital tonight so I will have to be careful. So far, so good though.

Well done all. Forwards.

determined99

Happy Friday! Thanks Lilly, tea, leana and everyone for the well wishes. I'm doing pretty good, hanging ought.

Tyger, no worries my friend, another opportunity is right around the corner. Dee has the right advise.

Happy birthday forwards!

Gotta get moving, have a fantastic day guys!

Attitude of gratitude.

Jezzi

Happy birthday forwards!

Lily, that sounds like a great day. Many more like that are sure to come

I've been fighting a terrible cold since Tuesday. Fever, cough, the works. And can you believe yesterday my AV came about, telling me I wanted to drink to feel better. Or at least escape the fact that I'm sick if only for a little while. Crazy how the addict in us can try to rationalize things.

I'm so disappointed because I've had tickets to see Big Daddy Weave tonight at my church for weeks. It is what it is I guess. I'm gunna be spending yet another day at home watching movies and trying to recover. Much more of this and I'm going to go stir crazy...
I hope you all have a great Friday

SoberTyger

Good day good people
Been having a nice day here, it's been lovely and sunny, and I did a lot of gardening and just resturned from a walk in the forest gathering wild mushrooms.
I must admit I was a bit grumpy and frustrated yesterday evening as I didn't get the job i wished for, but luckily the bad mood fades quickly - I feel I have regained a lot of hope and faith in my recovery since my relapse, which is good. I still get a bit strssed when things do not go the way i wished for, but not as much as before - and most importantly, I didn't even think about reaching for a drink.

leanabeana

Good for you Tyger! I understand how disappointment can be stressful, especially when it relates to how we make money. Something even better will come along.

Jezzi - colds never triggered the desire to drink for me, but I understand about rationalizing. Feel better soon!

deter - glad to hear you're hanging in there. I hope your mom feels better very soon.

Forwards - Happy Birthday!!!

lily - yesterday sounds like it was wonderful! Joy can be a tricky thing sometimes.

teaorcoffee - thanks for the encouragement.

I'm doing OK, just made a boo boo at work which I'm bummed about. Normally I would be looking forward to a drink at lunch to help ease the anxiety. Guess I need to just deal with it and learn from it.

I had another good night's sleep with half an Ambien. Can't wait to be down to none!

I have to go to a work function tomorrow and there will be lots of wine. It will be awkward and my usual remedy for awkward work functions is alcohol. Not sure how I will handle. I just get irritated when work things are scheduled on the weekend or after work. Isn't 40 hours a week enough? My job is a political landmine so even the most seemingly innocuous conversations can end up working against me somehow. It makes me nervous.

sweetichick

Good morning Augusters. I haven't posted on this thread for ages but have been following everyone's progress. I'm on day 8 today and day 3 of not smoking cigarettes. The thought of how much I want a cigarette is consuming my thoughts rather than the thought of a drink.
I have been going for a long walk every morning to get my thoughts centred for the day.
It feels different this time with the alcohol. Maybe I have finally surrendered to the fact that I can't drink.
Jezzi I hope you feel better soon. I'm like you and think I need a drink for medicinal purposes when I am sick.

Dee74

congrats to everyone on those milestones
Have a good sober weekend gang

D

lilymaz

Morning all! Happy birthday forwards, hope you enjoyed your meal and well done on day 46, awesome job!

I don't have much planned today, a big clean of the house then some shopping and a walk. Early evening I am meeting a friend for coffee and later I have about four eps left of tin star to watch ( with chocolate 🍫 of course!).

I hope everyone is well and ready to rock this fab sober weekend, I know I am!

SoberBlondie

Good Morning All

Good job on all the forward advancements
Tyger: Sorry about the job, but I truly believe there's going to be something better that will come up for you!

Deter: really sorry about what you are going through - sending you my best wishes

Jezzi- I remember having a throat infection (quite a few years ago) and going out to party anyways. I ended up really inflaming my throat and needed emergency antibiotics- it's a horrible memory!

Lily- How old is your grandson? Sounds like such a nice day spent together!

Sweeti- I use long walks to clear my head too! Hope the cravings start to die down soon.

Forwards- Happy Birthday! How was the night out? What did you eat?

Leana- is there any way you can plan to attend the work function for only a small period of time? I understand the struggles of awkward work conversations. I hope it goes quickly for you.

Dee- hi and happy weekend!

Well, we're off today on a little family road trip. We had a hotel voucher we haven't used yet for a hotel on Lac Leman near Lausanne, and we are driving there with the baby to see the alps and just get some fresh mountain air!
Excited for a big comfy hotel bed and buffet breakfast!

Today is 1 month + 5 days!

teaorcoffee

Morning all,

Day 50 here - and that feels very good to say.

Was going to go out last night but bailed as I was tired and needed space.

Plan today to get out on the bike - I need to move!

I had a look at tinstar Lily - it looks good, may keep watching, we can compare notes at the end.
Happy birthday forwards, hope you had a great sober evening.

Hang in there Leana - make a plan to deal with this work do if you can't get out of it.

Sweetichick, happy to see you here this morning - I reckon that's a big part of all this, just giving in to the fact that we can't drink moderately like others, so just have to stop.
To be honest, it's almost a relief to do so, as it's so much easier to just not start for me, at least.

teaorcoffee

Morning all, it's a bit of a dreary day here, but looking forward to a productive day.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend

lilymaz

Morning all! Blonde, my grandson is eight months, I do go on about him don't I? 😂 He is a wee treasure and the light of my life. ❤️❤️

Congrats on your day 50 tea, hope you treated yourself to something nice.

I went shopping yesterday and went a bit mad. Four dresses, jeans, two tops. And a lovely wee outfit for the grandson of course. The new clothes then prompted a long overdue wardrobe clear out, so now have a few bags of stuff for the charity shop. I'm finally going to see It later, it took us over a week to organise a time that suits four people!

I hope everyone is having a happy and chilled weekend, thinking of you determined and sending a virtual hug.

Have a good Sunday Augustians!

determined99

Good morning and happy Sunday peeps! You guys rock, thanks so much for the well wishes and support. Just keeping positive and trying to enjoy the time we have. Wow, that goes for life in general doesn't it.

I think I am going to hit the gym and then do some cooking later. Good old fashioned Sunday. Awesome.

Much love out to you guys, make it a great day.

leanabeana

Hi all! Nice to see everyone is doing well and enjoying their weekend. Sorry it's gloomy where you are teaandcoffee.

My work function was fine. Turns out there was no alcohol so I worried for nothing! It was not as awkward as I anticipated it would be. I tend to make things a much bigger deal than they need to be. Probably a big reason I'm an alcoholic.

Going to brunch in a bit and then chores and a women's AA meeting at 5pm. I really like the women in this group so I look forward to it. We read the book "A Women's Way Through the Twelve Steps". It's funny because they need to read a disclaimer in the beginning that it's not approved AA literature. Some women won't go to the meeting because of that which seems a bit hard core to me. To each her own!

teaorcoffee

Glad the function worked out Leana and that you have found a group you like.

SoberTyger

Good evening good people, hope you are all doing good.
I must admit I feel emotionally very shaky at the moment - I think not getting the job I wanted disappointed me a bit more than I'd thought it would, also working on the 4th step is tough..
But mainly I struggle very much in my relationship with my girlfriend, and I am starting to get serious doubt and worries - and I struggle a lot having any serious conversation with her.
I know she can not fully understand alcoholism or my recovery and I am perfectly fine with that, I do not expect that from her. I am very hard on myself not to put any blame for my alcoholism on her, or any other person, event, or whatever. My alcoholism is my disease and my responsibility to deal with. But i am starting to question if I can keep my focus on my recovery and still be in this relationship.
She has her issues too, I sense that clearly, especially now when sober.
She gets anxiety/panic attacks, and appearantly suffers from irregular heart rythm issues. She has some issue with rejection and needs constant reassurance that I love her/think of her, and seriusly freaks out when she can't reach me (we live in different countries, so apart from spending vacations together, we talk on skype or phone).
My biggest worry is she seem to put the blame for all of these issues on me. She keeps being very pessimistic about the future, telling me how worried she is that if I ever start drinking again she will end up living homeless on the street and stuff like that.
Today she said to me that if anything goes wrong with our relationship she would surely die of a heart attack - and that her doctor told her so. - A statement that I have a hard time believing, what doctor would say that?
These things just weigh me down a lot, i feel pressured and threatened - to me it seems she threaten me that she will die unless i behave, and that is such a toxic thought to me.
Yet she still seem so determined to move in with me, she already booked her flight and told her employer she will quit and move (Luckily this has to be postponed for now, because she is taking driving lessons and cant finish her training in time for the planned flight) , even though she do not have secured a job - and my situation, at the moment, is of course insecure as well.
I feel she puts an unbearable pressure on my shoulders - it's like half the time she talks about how wonderful everything will be when we move in together, the other half of the time, she tells me how terrible everything might end up, and suggesting I will be to blame.
I truely love her, and we have had amazing times together and I do dream of and hope to live with her and get a family - some time in the future, but these issues just keep worring me more and more.
I did encourage her a lot to move, telling her that she has a great CV and good education and surely she will get a good job - and I do worry too that I might have given her too high hopes, job wise - though I still believe she has good chances - I try to keep telling her now to just try to apply for a job and don't plan anything until she has landed a job - and genrally tries to make her focus on the positive things and not worry about everything that might go wrong - but I am just getting more and more doubt, that this pressure, and the way she deal with her own worries and problems, will be toxic for both of us.
But as I said, I love her so very much - and I am terrified to try to confront her with these issues or possibly having to end the relationship. Adding to the mix my self esteem is pretty low and that I always was a guy hiding from or avoiding confrontations doens't help.
But I do feel that, at the moment, I am carrying a pressure I just can't handle - on top of my recovery.

SoberTyger

I used to, in many years, to have the false hope that if I just found a good girlfriend and fell in love, all my problems would go away, like in a cheesy hollywood romance - but I learned it's not true and that I have to deal with my issues myself- and I do sense that she lives in that same false hope that all her problems will vanish once she gets to live with her dream viking (as she calls me), and if that won't happen, she will blame me, or drown herself in self pity.