Class of February 2017 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi, I'm not as well as I hoped. I'm working on a few things. I'm glad to see everyone here. Badger and Canguy, Axey, Purplecat, and everyone else.
Did I mention I had a close encounter with some wildlife? I realize for a lot of you, especially the Aussies, it might not seem like much. I came face to face with a Fisher Cat in the yard the other night. They get a lot bigger than people think. Most of the people I've told have reacted with a cringe, but it was fantastic for me. A face to face with one of our best predators. Bears run from Fisher Cats. These beasts don't give a ____.
It was in invigorating. Africa is better.
Here's to more invigorating experiences.
A link to a photo https://simbania.wordpress.com/2011/...he-fisher-cat/
Viper
Did I mention I had a close encounter with some wildlife? I realize for a lot of you, especially the Aussies, it might not seem like much. I came face to face with a Fisher Cat in the yard the other night. They get a lot bigger than people think. Most of the people I've told have reacted with a cringe, but it was fantastic for me. A face to face with one of our best predators. Bears run from Fisher Cats. These beasts don't give a ____.
It was in invigorating. Africa is better.
Here's to more invigorating experiences.
A link to a photo https://simbania.wordpress.com/2011/...he-fisher-cat/
Viper
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Viper, when I saw that picture all I saw was Badger! :P
Hope everyone has a good day and week. We are heading out camping for five days on Thursday so I have a lot of prep to do. Still struggling a bit - thinking about starting my Campral again.
Thanks for the kind words about our situation. Cancer just sucks. It's relentless, and you know in most cases it's going to eventually win. So you live life with this death sentence hanging over your head and sometimes it gets exhausting. It's hard enough for me, I can't imagine what it's like for him. He's been drinking quite a bit since his appointment Wednesday, and right now I don't really care even if it does make it that much harder on me.
Hope everyone has a good day and week. We are heading out camping for five days on Thursday so I have a lot of prep to do. Still struggling a bit - thinking about starting my Campral again.
Thanks for the kind words about our situation. Cancer just sucks. It's relentless, and you know in most cases it's going to eventually win. So you live life with this death sentence hanging over your head and sometimes it gets exhausting. It's hard enough for me, I can't imagine what it's like for him. He's been drinking quite a bit since his appointment Wednesday, and right now I don't really care even if it does make it that much harder on me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Sober Day # 128 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
************************************************** *******************
axeman,
I could be wrong, but I think that "the weekend keeps getting you"
because you do not yet think of yourself as a sober person. You still have in your mind that you might just slip at any time and it is out of your control.
You can shift the way you think about this.
Maybe this will help you:
I no longer think of myself as a drinker. My identity is as a sober person.
Drinking alcohol is off the table---it is not an option.
Could the Beast still rear its head at any time? Yes, of course. It does once in awhile. But the longer my time sober is, the less it does, and the weaker it is. And when it does, I know that
*that* is not me talking----it is the Beast.
*I* am stronger than the Beast.
It is a shift in thinking.
************************************************** *******************
axeman,
I could be wrong, but I think that "the weekend keeps getting you"
because you do not yet think of yourself as a sober person. You still have in your mind that you might just slip at any time and it is out of your control.
You can shift the way you think about this.
Maybe this will help you:
I no longer think of myself as a drinker. My identity is as a sober person.
Drinking alcohol is off the table---it is not an option.
Could the Beast still rear its head at any time? Yes, of course. It does once in awhile. But the longer my time sober is, the less it does, and the weaker it is. And when it does, I know that
*that* is not me talking----it is the Beast.
*I* am stronger than the Beast.
It is a shift in thinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 588
Dau - I am starting to think of myself as a non drinker, but the AV said, "What will it hurt Friday? You had a few great sober days. The hangover won't be that bad and you can sleep in!"
I am going to try and convince my wife to go mini golfing with me Friday if it's nice. Outdoors, fun, no booze at the place we go. I could invite friends or family.
What do you think?
I also plan on doing all my grocery shopping this week at stores with no alcohol sales.
I am going to try and convince my wife to go mini golfing with me Friday if it's nice. Outdoors, fun, no booze at the place we go. I could invite friends or family.
What do you think?
I also plan on doing all my grocery shopping this week at stores with no alcohol sales.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Thinking of yourself as a non-drinker and thinking of yourself as a sober person are two different things.
You are not just quitting alcohol, you have to create a new life as a sober person, with new coping mechanisms for stress and grief, and new ways to relax and celebrate.
Keep up the planning like that. Keep yourself busy in activities in which there is no alcohol involved. I also had to distance myself from former "drinking buddies". I also took a different route home so that I would not pass the liquor store, etc.
It really has to be the first day of the rest of your new life.
You are not just quitting alcohol, you have to create a new life as a sober person, with new coping mechanisms for stress and grief, and new ways to relax and celebrate.
Keep up the planning like that. Keep yourself busy in activities in which there is no alcohol involved. I also had to distance myself from former "drinking buddies". I also took a different route home so that I would not pass the liquor store, etc.
It really has to be the first day of the rest of your new life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Originally Posted by Daucuscarota 
Thinking of yourself as a non-drinker and thinking of yourself as a sober person are two different things.
You are not just quitting alcohol, you have to create a new life as a sober person, with new coping mechanisms for stress and grief, and new ways to relax and celebrate.
Keep up the planning like that. Keep yourself busy in activities in which there is no alcohol involved. I also had to distance myself from former "drinking buddies". I also took a different route home so that I would not pass the liquor store, etc.
It really has to be the first day of the rest of your new life.
You are not just quitting alcohol, you have to create a new life as a sober person, with new coping mechanisms for stress and grief, and new ways to relax and celebrate.
Keep up the planning like that. Keep yourself busy in activities in which there is no alcohol involved. I also had to distance myself from former "drinking buddies". I also took a different route home so that I would not pass the liquor store, etc.
It really has to be the first day of the rest of your new life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
The AV comes in to my head once in awhile-----this past weekend, for example. I have found a couple of really good substitutes for entertainment, and I immediately went and did one of them (reading)----and in no time, the wave passed and I forgot all about the drinking idea.
For a long time, wine was my only entertainment, and I had no interest in anything else. Thank God now I am interested in other things again.
For a long time, wine was my only entertainment, and I had no interest in anything else. Thank God now I am interested in other things again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
I'm not building anything else. Don't feel well today again. I'm in a financial trap. A vicious circle. I'm sure having 60 days would have me making some moves. Wanted to just die this morning. This is pathetic.
Maybe I should forget all future plans and just stay still, in the moment, for 90 days. Do AA, exercise, and keep my mind quiet. When I get better, it's like a mania that I need instant change and I need this and that now. It's irrational.
Maybe I should forget all future plans and just stay still, in the moment, for 90 days. Do AA, exercise, and keep my mind quiet. When I get better, it's like a mania that I need instant change and I need this and that now. It's irrational.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
Originally Posted by axeman5971
Dee - I have to start by taking care of today and building on that. I want to plan a non-drinking commitment Friday. Visiting family maybe?
I wonder sometimes if I scare people with my recommendations on plans - you don't need to write 3000 word essay.
Here's some ideas I posted elsewhere today
Originally Posted by Dee74
I can;t over emphasise the importance of a plan.
It doesn't have to be War and Peace.
- what can I do to stop myself returning to the default when I'm left alone?
- what can I do when cravings hit?
- what can I do when someone offers me a drink or asks why I'm not drinking?
- make sure you always have an escape plan for any social aituation if things gets slippery
- make sure you have access to sober support - and use it regularly.
thats the basics of a good plan right there - took me a minute.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
It was 98 degrees here today. I finally noticed it's warm. This is my tempurature. The heat blasted my hangover right out of me. I love this. Oh yeah.
Met with my dad's lawyer about putting a bike into my 'financial system' to avoid certain complications, and I had to listen to that a-holes opinion on motorcycles and jokes about how dangerous they are the whole time. I felt like saying, 'listen, you make Trusts F-ER!! I didn't come here too listen you expound your personal philosophies, or make a mockery of my desire to ride a bike. Now do your damn job and keep your opinions to yourself. ARE WE CLEAR???
"DonorCycles???" Really??? they're dangerous? Never heard that before.
I take chances and push boundaries. My therapist reminded me of that the other day. I enjoy things people think are dangerous. I camped, in my own tent, on the ground, in Kenya for 21 nights. You think that was safe? It was awesome. Now I need to translate that to the rest of my life.
V
Met with my dad's lawyer about putting a bike into my 'financial system' to avoid certain complications, and I had to listen to that a-holes opinion on motorcycles and jokes about how dangerous they are the whole time. I felt like saying, 'listen, you make Trusts F-ER!! I didn't come here too listen you expound your personal philosophies, or make a mockery of my desire to ride a bike. Now do your damn job and keep your opinions to yourself. ARE WE CLEAR???
"DonorCycles???" Really??? they're dangerous? Never heard that before.
I take chances and push boundaries. My therapist reminded me of that the other day. I enjoy things people think are dangerous. I camped, in my own tent, on the ground, in Kenya for 21 nights. You think that was safe? It was awesome. Now I need to translate that to the rest of my life.
V
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Gees, vipe. I've been close to bears and the occasional snake, but not one of those. Though PC is right -- probably some of Badger's kinfolk 
Axe, what Dau and Dee are saying is spot on. Identify as a sober person. Is it weird at first? Well, yeah, but sometimes you have to fake it 'til you make it.
PurpleCat, I hate to hear of your husband's health struggles. I've been a caretaker spouse in the past, and it isn't easy. Do take care of yourself also. If you haven't already, perhaps check out some support groups for spouses? My ex's illness wasn't cancer, but I still understand the feeling of having life upended at random intervals.
Axe, what Dau and Dee are saying is spot on. Identify as a sober person. Is it weird at first? Well, yeah, but sometimes you have to fake it 'til you make it.
PurpleCat, I hate to hear of your husband's health struggles. I've been a caretaker spouse in the past, and it isn't easy. Do take care of yourself also. If you haven't already, perhaps check out some support groups for spouses? My ex's illness wasn't cancer, but I still understand the feeling of having life upended at random intervals.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Thanks, Rascal. Yeah, my support is kinda limited right now as the group of gals I usually hang out with don't do it in the summer. They are extremely supportive.
I'm checking in after a 12 hour day at work. That sucked. In the old days I'd have chugged down three drinks before going to bed. At least I have no desire to do that! lol
I'm checking in after a 12 hour day at work. That sucked. In the old days I'd have chugged down three drinks before going to bed. At least I have no desire to do that! lol
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Sorry about the grouchy rant. Damn lawyer.
Rascal, it's definitely a dangerous animal. They are badgers. Males get up to 30-40 pounds. I'm not going to try to hug one, although I'm dying to
. I'd like to borrow one of my sister's wildlife cams and try to get some shots of it. Anyway, I'm glad to have some real badass wildlife around. They call it the Chupacabre of my town.
Here's nice display of a live Fisher at a school by a Ranger. This one is all cuddles. #shouldhavebeenabioligist !!!!!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cchjKC87p4Y
Rascal, it's definitely a dangerous animal. They are badgers. Males get up to 30-40 pounds. I'm not going to try to hug one, although I'm dying to
. I'd like to borrow one of my sister's wildlife cams and try to get some shots of it. Anyway, I'm glad to have some real badass wildlife around. They call it the Chupacabre of my town. Here's nice display of a live Fisher at a school by a Ranger. This one is all cuddles. #shouldhavebeenabioligist !!!!!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cchjKC87p4Y
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
Viper - that little guy is adoreable. 
Haven't posted a lot lately, but this class is awesome. We may not be the biggest class, but we definitrly got each other's back. Good,bad,or indifferent.
Axe- something planned for the weekend with the wife sounds like a great idea, and I highly recommend mini golf. one of my favs.
Have a great night/day everyone!!!
Haven't posted a lot lately, but this class is awesome. We may not be the biggest class, but we definitrly got each other's back. Good,bad,or indifferent.
Axe- something planned for the weekend with the wife sounds like a great idea, and I highly recommend mini golf.
one of my favs. Have a great night/day everyone!!!
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