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Class of February 2017 Support Thread Part 5

Old 06-19-2017, 01:47 PM
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Sorry Vipe - short answer. I am only really active in February. It's what I know - and it's helping me see that going this route on my own is not working.

So, I am a little nervous, but am probably going to schedule an evaluation Friday for Outpatient Treatment. It's 8-12 weeks, 3 nights a week, 6pm-9:15pm. Covered mostly by my insurance. I am going to have to leave work by 5 each day, which is not something I'm used to. I am very worried about my workload and how this may clash with others trying to schedule late afternoon or evening meetings.

However, everyone in my core support group says I need to prioritize my health long term, and I tend to agree with them.
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:56 PM
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I really am wishing the best for your friend Vipe, but I'm glad you see it's not a job you can take on now.

IOP sounds like a way forward Axeman

D



D
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Old 06-19-2017, 04:03 PM
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Axey? What sane member of your family would say, 'treatment is a bad idea?' Parents are behind it? Obviously it depends wat you make of it. I've never been in a quality treatment program, my insurance isn't good. So I'll leave my experience to myself. What it will definitely do is get you to a place every morning where you are examining your drinking. Making lists, making plans, acheiving goals, et al... I'd say no matter what the program, that's part of it. Hopefully yoga and meditation (I can't see how hey could skip that in 2017).

Anyway, just jump in like you said. No expectations except this: This program is going to help! One of my programs led to me get 66 days and if I had any support system (plan) in place I could have kept it going.

I'm taking it easy. iPhone is on Do Not Disturb to deflect the calls and texts of my poor friend.

V
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Old 06-19-2017, 05:19 PM
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Sorry reposted by mistake
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Old 06-19-2017, 06:30 PM
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Viper, I hate to hear about your friend. It's a tough place and there really is no good answer for someone in your position. But, self care has to come first. Again, the whole "put your oxygen mask on first" deal

Axe, my hope is that IOP helps fine-tune whatever your hangup is. Sometimes it just takes that right combination to make it all fall together.

Related note, IOP is the local abbreviation for an area I used to live near on the coast (Isle of Palms). When I first started reading here, I couldn't help but wonder why everyone was checking in at the beach Probably should've read that sticky more closely ...
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:01 PM
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I didn't call today so I could talk to family a bit more but I plan on it tomorrow.

I am lucky to have my family all support me. Wife is great. Parents are great. I just have to dedicate myself to this and be great back to them.

I am sober tonight. I will be so happy in the morning.

Good night all.
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:46 PM
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Axe your support system is awesome and IOP is the way to go . Your family is great. A lot of people don't have that support. Count your blessings dude.

Rascal and all, I am trying hard to really know that I cannot be involved with this person anymore. I think I'm finally getting there. Friends are now contacting me saying that she is contacting them and I need to call her. *NO*

10:43pm. In bed.

therapist at 1pm , thank the gods. Thank you all.

Vipe
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:11 AM
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I realize I am lucky. They're not ashamed of me, they're supportive. No DUIs and no lost jobs or relationships. No hospitals. Just some foolish scars (literally) that have begun to fade already.

I feel good this morning, but I know I still need to pull the trigger here. We all know my story if I don't. Saturday morning I'll be back at square one. I can't control it now, but I can learn the tools to control it better.
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Old 06-20-2017, 09:46 AM
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Make the call axe. Procrastination is the addiction talking. Keep doing until you find the thing that sticks. I know change is scary and what you are pursuing is a major lifestyle change. I'm 45. The only thing in life I truly truly wish I could go back in time to do differently is I wish I would have found a way to make this lifestyle change sooner. I never lost a job, had a DUI or lost a marriage because of my addiction but I never achieved what I could have either. I missed a lot of things with my kids. I don't remember a vast majority of family stories that get told around the campfire. Keep fighting for the change. Don't wait for the "major" to ignite the change. I have no idea how I managed to avoid any major disaster other than a massive amount of luck and a minor sliver of control to keep me out of trouble. I would fake myself into thinking I didn't have a problem by avoiding majors. You have recognition I didn't have years ago. Take advantage and do whatever it takes. Not doing things we are addicted to is stupidly difficult. Making life changes to facilitate success in stopping them compounds the task even more. It is hard. It sucks. It is not fun nor enjoyable for a good amount of time. But it does get less hard. It does suck less. It does get better. And then as you pursue additional positive change besides just not drinking it gets even better still. It can turn to a great thing and than one day you realize, understand and believe that falling off sucks more. Do what you need to do to get to this point. Keep fighting for it. I believe it is well worth it and am very thankful I seem to have found it.
Vipe my heart truly hurts for you and for your friend. I unfortunately have nothing new to offer you in words that have not already been said before in this forum but we will still be here listening and offering support.
I still find it awkward to post stuff both here and on general social media. One generation too old maybe. I feel a need to apologize for rambling here. Just the way I am I guess. Anyway chat at you all soon. I best get some work done.
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Old 06-20-2017, 03:26 PM
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yeah take some action Axe - there's no reason in the world this coming weekend can't be a sober one...if you work for it.

D
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:30 AM
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Thanks for opening up next.

I have the support in place to knock this weekend out no problem.

I will call today for the evaluation Friday. I worked til 6:30-7 the past two days which makes me worry about having to commit to 5pm exits 3 days a week.

I can talk to them about it Friday I guess. I can also talk to work more. My boss is aware and sympathetic.
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Old 06-21-2017, 03:56 PM
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Thanks Retired . Axe he's right, seize this chance. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

As far as things with my friend go, I've cut it off. So far I've been successsful, even though it's been painful and difficult. I don't think I'll ever move on with my life with her around. Maybe mean to say, but true. She's a huge burden. As her desperate pleas die down, things are a little easier.

It looks like I'll be going to Vermont. It's truly a beautiful State. All forests. Mountains, streams, forests, wildlife, and very few people. My buddy's 3 cabins are very nice, but there's no electricity, no phone, no cell signals. There's no noise except nature. You need to get on his boat to get out across the lake to the cabins. Gas powers the stove and refrigerators and old style globe lighting. It's a half hour drive from nowhere, and a stones throw from Canada.

I'm hoping in a couple of days. The added benefits: being 200 miles away from my friend with no cell coverage, and the fact that my buddy doesn't drink.

Viper
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:33 PM
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Hi Viper,
I think you meant to thank Nextime not me. Vermont sounds nice!
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Old 06-21-2017, 06:29 PM
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Sounds pretty awesome, Vipe!
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:27 PM
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Hi guys. Thanks, next, for some awesome thoughts and advice.

I had a wonderful time camping for six days. I did, however, drink around the campfire. At a rate that is displeasing. I have absolutely no problem here at home, but camping? Sigh.

Another shot at it over the 4th. We are camping with friends who are not big drinkers. I'm going to do this dry this time even if DH does miss his drinking buddy.
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:37 PM
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Oooops! sorry Nextime and RG!

Rascal, it's heaven up there. Keep you posted. It would be a great State for me except for the winters. They can be brutal.

V
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:39 PM
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Maybe these few weeks will be time enough to make a well thought out plan, PC?

D
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:51 PM
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Sober tonight!

Definitely worries about the friction betweeen IOP and work. Worked til 6:30 or later these last three days.

What do I do? I can't leave work early for treatment reliably, and I am sure they don't want you late for treatment.

I'm going to try and put my foot down on leaving work on time to prepare folks for when it's not optional. It's just tough in my industry, and especially my company, to draw a hard line.

However soon it shakes out, I will not drink, and I will not change my mind about treatment, even if I string together a few weeks. I am going to get it done.
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Old 06-21-2017, 08:52 PM
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I know, Dee. I know.
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Old 06-22-2017, 03:29 AM
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My lovely wife and I woke up this morning to a lovely surprise today, my birthday. A pipe in our 2nd floor bathroom burst overnight and flooded the bathroom, hallway, part of two bedrooms, kitchen, office, the first floor bathroom, and the basement.

I am so thankful to wake up sober to handle this!!! I am going to remember that and stay that way. We have a long road ahead of us in terms of insurance and repairs and maybe temporary relocation, but I am determined to shine.
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