PhoenixJ

B- what goes around.....

there for you

samantha14

Evening!

Bobbie - glad you're feeling more peaceful...love you

Hi Immri and AL!!

Kiki - 17 days is awesome!!

PJ - Our upstairs neighbors had hardwood flooring installed this week....makes Baby Kong much louder

Well it is officially back to work tomorrow. Going to wade in slowly so that I don't become overwhelmed. Also going to do my best to check in here periodically through the day. Glad to be getting back into a routine but also nervous...my plan is work and then straight to the gym....it seems whenever I invest in some level of health for myself I am less likely to throw all my hard work away on a drink or drinks....

Well I am off to have some Honey Lullaby Tea and call it a night...sweet dreams March Misfits

Caramel

Support for you, PhoenixJ - I can see you give so much to others on so many of the threads I look into.

beerbgone

Beddy bye to watch TV time friends. Thanks for keeping me sober today. See you at startin' fluid time in the morning!

Bobbieka

Night all.

Dee74

PR I'm with Kiki and Immri on this one..I can't count the times I suckered myself back into the madness by a 'normal ' night of drinking.

I had thousands of nights when things did not go great - but I forgot all those to hope on the one or two times I managed to drink and not go apecrap crazy.

I'd love for you to suddenly be a normal drinker but it really is too good to be true,

I know you said you are under no illusions, but you also said you had no regrets.

I'm sorry to be Dee Downer - I hate doing this - but honestly?
with the journey we've all had, the fact there's no regret there is a pretty big red flag.

There should be regret. Regret is a sign our minds are working normally and not alcoholically.

I get you don't want to beat yourself up - fair enough - but thats a different thing.

Our addiction is relentless and patient. It loves the fact you obviously had a good time and have no regrets.

It's storing that for future use.

It will sucker you back in if you let it.

Drinking alcohol is a lot like Russian Roulette for me. The first click may not kill me, but it's only a matter of time.

D

KiKi0615

I agree with everything Dee said. ^^^

We just care & love you PR!

Night all! Xo

samantha14

Morning class! Slept like crap last night...up at 1:30, 2:30...blah. Anyways got a cuppa startin' fluid and it's back to work today. Wish me luck and happy Monday!!

Purplrks3647

Good luck Sam! It always sucks to have to go back to work after taking time off.....maybe the anxiety from that is what kept you awake (at least it would me) ~ Sending hugs and good vibes for a smooth Monday

Well I'm off to get ready for the day....will check back in when I can.....sending hugs and good vibes to all!

(Thanks again Dee for the above post!)

PhoenixJ

Sam- did my Kong keep you awake?

samantha14

PJ - luckily Baby Kong goes to sleep pretty early and your Kong would have to be pretty powerful to be heard all the way from upside down land.

I think it was most likely anxiety. Just going to breathe through it. Holiday-hangover has already kicked in full force and I'm not even in the building yet.

PhoenixJ

Sammy- yep, breathe, HALTS and CAMC.

beerbgone

Good mornin' all. Beautiful day here. Enjoyin' startin' fluid and planning my day.

Happy Monday to you Sam. I know how Monday mornings after time off can feel!!!

Everyone else have a safe and sober day!!!

Applekat

Hi Marchers. I hope you'll take me back after a slippery weekend. My 3-4 week mark has been tough. I definitely used the EXCUSE of a family member on their death bed to have a few while wallowing and waiting. Well, she passed this morning and I will be there sober for my hubby and his family. No more excuses.

I am actually googling AA meetings to see if there are any local with childcare.

I think I also need to choose a higher power - something bigger than myself - to really help hold me up.

Must catch up.

Ladybug2

Morning, friends!

Sam, hope your first day back isn't too stressful. So proud of you for making it through your vacation sober.

Rainy and cold day here. No big plans except to try and clean up house, catch up on laundry, etc. Fun stuff Going to AA meeting this afternoon. Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me. Was struggling a little so I went to a meeting that I had never been to before and ended up leaving halfway through it. It just didn't feel right and I started having some strong cravings so I got out of there. I came home and had a good cry and talk with my husband. Early sobriety is hard, but not as hard as the hangovers, shame and regret were. Day 25

Dee, thank you for your honest post above. I needed the reminder that drinking alcohol is like playing Russian Roulette. I just don't trust what will happen after that first drink.

Wishing you all a happy Monday. Love you all.

Ladybug2

Yay, AK, so glad you are back Huge hugs. Good for you for looking into AA meetings. It's definitely hard with little ones. I actually took my 2 yo to her first meeting on Sat and she did better than I expected and everyone was more than happy to entertain her. She is like a bull in a china shop so I wasn't very hopeful, but she was pretty good until the last 10 minutes (then we had to leave lol). We're here for you. Love you!

beerbgone

Applekat I certainly understand your situation. So sorry about your family member.

I'm the king of relapse. I've relapsed at the 3 week mark every month for the last year!!!

So far this March I've been alcohol free! I give credit to that success to my really diving into studying relapse prevention.

Dealing with life problems without relapsing is really hard for us alcoholics. Alcohol has been our crutch for so long.

I certainly hope that AA will give you the guidance you are seeking.

Applekat

Nice job BBG! I know that three week mark has been tough for you, too. I will look into relapse prevention tips.

Working on my plan!

Thanks LB, love ya too!

Honestly guys, AV chimed in this weekend and said why even bother with a day 1 since you're going to drink on your April vacation.

So that will be a big bullet point on my plan. I made it through a Disney vaca last year sober, I should be able to do this again...!

clearlyheaded

Hi class. Not in a very good place today. Struggling with work stuff and just want to hide. I know I'm still relatively new to my position and have a lot to learn. When I am asked to find answers to something, turn around and provide the information, am told I am wrong and to look again, and again, and again... it's frustrating. I need to talk to my boss and get his support to back me up. Ask for help. Something that makes me very uncomfortable. Makes me feel inadequate that I can't find a solution on my own. Sort of the defining crux of me. Drinking won't solve anything and will only make it worse. I hid this weekend...just wanting to escape the yucky feelings. Numbed and all of that. So day 1 here. But, it's not time to hide. It's time to put my head down and grind through this. This too shall pass.

PhoenixJ

AK- when my gran died years ago- my oldest bro said to me after the funeral we should get drunk on scotch 'to remember her'.
HA! So in ground was booze in my family as a kid/young adult. Events of high emotional intensity are often made ugly with booze. Good you posted. I think it is commendable looking a kid friendly meetings. To me- that also means people keep their language and behaviour safe. I hope it goes well. What can you do about stuff? A plan- for each time booze is around may help.
A lady at SMART called this 'plan B'. What to do when getting overwhelmed/stressed. Thinking stuff through carefully instead of leaving it just to will power or chance. Perhaps post here- just before and after events.