Class of January 2017 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 74
Day 79.
Big congratulations DLB and Ina... Great milestone.. 90 days, I can't wait to get there also!
Congratulations on your job Cute....sending you out good vibes that you get your license as well.
J9- I'm a little bit the same as you right now. My week days are very structured with work, but come the weekends and I feel a little lost and unmotivated. I always performed well with a few drinks in me. I would have the music up super loud, drink in my hand, vacuum cleaner and mop out, the house look amazing. I would feel great and then slowly that window of greatness would start to shut, and the day would become a blur, more drinks, less productivity, eventually I was no good for anything anymore, just a drunken mess... I don't miss that life, even though I'm struggling for motivation still.
I'm an artist, but I have not been able to paint yet, sober. I'm hoping I can again, one day. Some of my best pieces were painted whilst drunk. That's probably what I miss the most, but even saying that, there was always that short window as well, where I was at my best, then it was all downhill.
Last night was my first proper night out with girlfriends at a pub. I've tackled the work conference and that was a success, but I've kept myself in a cocoon basically for the last 79 days. So I was invited out for dinner with my friends. Again I visualized how this night was going to go as a non-drinker. I offered to drive, which took a lot of pressure of me. My friends had their wine with dinner and I had my cranberry, lime and soda. Then there was a band playing afterwards. This was definitely harder because I did feel like the odd one out. But the good news is I still love music and can have a good time sober. Not as crazy a good time, but a sensible good time haha. So I woke up this morning, without any drunken injuries or regrets. This is another small step towards remaining sober.
Big congratulations DLB and Ina... Great milestone.. 90 days, I can't wait to get there also!
Congratulations on your job Cute....sending you out good vibes that you get your license as well.
J9- I'm a little bit the same as you right now. My week days are very structured with work, but come the weekends and I feel a little lost and unmotivated. I always performed well with a few drinks in me. I would have the music up super loud, drink in my hand, vacuum cleaner and mop out, the house look amazing. I would feel great and then slowly that window of greatness would start to shut, and the day would become a blur, more drinks, less productivity, eventually I was no good for anything anymore, just a drunken mess... I don't miss that life, even though I'm struggling for motivation still.
I'm an artist, but I have not been able to paint yet, sober. I'm hoping I can again, one day. Some of my best pieces were painted whilst drunk. That's probably what I miss the most, but even saying that, there was always that short window as well, where I was at my best, then it was all downhill.
Last night was my first proper night out with girlfriends at a pub. I've tackled the work conference and that was a success, but I've kept myself in a cocoon basically for the last 79 days. So I was invited out for dinner with my friends. Again I visualized how this night was going to go as a non-drinker. I offered to drive, which took a lot of pressure of me. My friends had their wine with dinner and I had my cranberry, lime and soda. Then there was a band playing afterwards. This was definitely harder because I did feel like the odd one out. But the good news is I still love music and can have a good time sober. Not as crazy a good time, but a sensible good time haha. So I woke up this morning, without any drunken injuries or regrets. This is another small step towards remaining sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 67
Good morning Cassandralee. First of all, let me say "excellent job" on your girls night out... I'm not sure that I would have been able to handle the band... even though I love to dance the night away... still need to see if I have "the moves" without the liquid courage, lol. I know what you mean about "the window of greatness" mine would typically slam shut around 3 pm when I would pass out on the couch and be done for the night... great company for my husband and kids, right?
I sincerely hope that you are able to reconnect to your painting and that you find a new inspiration... maybe treat yourself to some new supplies and take a course to learn a different technique.. this coning from the talentless one.
Anyhow, it's a beautiful day here.. mustering up the energy to clean up the yard and go for a walk... living on the edge, ya know ... baby steps.
Thank you again for your post... it really helped.
J9
I sincerely hope that you are able to reconnect to your painting and that you find a new inspiration... maybe treat yourself to some new supplies and take a course to learn a different technique.. this coning from the talentless one.
Anyhow, it's a beautiful day here.. mustering up the energy to clean up the yard and go for a walk... living on the edge, ya know ... baby steps.
Thank you again for your post... it really helped.
J9
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by site1Q84 
J9, I think we all settle in to sobriety at a different pace. That being said, I wasn't one to jump right into new things, I had to force myself to do it. If I hadn't forced myself into it, I probably would have stayed in the place you're in forever! It's hard to tell if you're just settling into sober life, or if you're stuck in a rut. I found going for a walk super early on weekend mornings to be nice. I live in a big city so everything is loud and busy and that gave me some time to just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. I did a few AA meetings as well and made some sober friends. I still don't love going out or being around people, but I'm glad I made myself do it so I have those options if I want them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day 92.
A very quick, and late, check in to say hi. I have a guest staying with me for a while so today has been less structured.
I loved reading everyones posts.
Congrats J9 , MrMcTell and all the milestone Januarians.
J9, you are doing great. I have found sticking to a strict day-by-day routine has helped so much. I don't socialise at all now but will soon have to learn how again. Weekends I too feel a bit lost so have a to-do list. It helps a bit.
And well done CassandraLee on having another sober evening in a challenging social environment. Your painting inspiration will come back. Probably even better as you will be able to maintain concentration and focus. I have a creative job also and can totally relate.
Have a healthy, happy and sober Sunday all. I think most of us get a short work week, next week ?.. I hope good Friday is a holiday everywhere.
A very quick, and late, check in to say hi. I have a guest staying with me for a while so today has been less structured.
I loved reading everyones posts.
Congrats J9 , MrMcTell and all the milestone Januarians.
J9, you are doing great. I have found sticking to a strict day-by-day routine has helped so much. I don't socialise at all now but will soon have to learn how again. Weekends I too feel a bit lost so have a to-do list. It helps a bit.
And well done CassandraLee on having another sober evening in a challenging social environment. Your painting inspiration will come back. Probably even better as you will be able to maintain concentration and focus. I have a creative job also and can totally relate.
Have a healthy, happy and sober Sunday all. I think most of us get a short work week, next week ?.. I hope good Friday is a holiday everywhere.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 205
Hello fellow Januarians!
90 days.
It's good to have made it this far! But I, too, have a little bit of the "Is this all?" feeling about it. Had a very nice day, my middle daughter was confirmed today, so a very nice mass in which all three of my children took part in! (youngest son was an alter server, my oldest daughter was my other daughter's sponsor and did a reading). So that was lovely. After that I had rehearsal. So, all in all busy, and I really didn't think too much about my milestone. Which is I guess good in a way?
I have another fundraising gala tomorrow night, this time for my theatre. I feel a bit more prepared for this one, having been through my husband's gala.
That is really all for now, we are getting ready for bed. Have a great sober week everyone!
NACN
90 days.
It's good to have made it this far! But I, too, have a little bit of the "Is this all?" feeling about it. Had a very nice day, my middle daughter was confirmed today, so a very nice mass in which all three of my children took part in! (youngest son was an alter server, my oldest daughter was my other daughter's sponsor and did a reading). So that was lovely. After that I had rehearsal. So, all in all busy, and I really didn't think too much about my milestone. Which is I guess good in a way?
I have another fundraising gala tomorrow night, this time for my theatre. I feel a bit more prepared for this one, having been through my husband's gala.
That is really all for now, we are getting ready for bed. Have a great sober week everyone!
NACN
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day 93.
Well done NACN. 90 days is huge. Especially being able to celebrate an important time, like that with your children, being in the moment and not even thinking of booze. Amazing.
My week is about to start. Really want a nice, less stressful and more positive one this week. I can say now, even when it is crazy mid week, I don't worry I will leave work and rush to the liquor store or a bar.
Off for my morning exercise. Have a great week Januarians. One more day.
Well done NACN. 90 days is huge. Especially being able to celebrate an important time, like that with your children, being in the moment and not even thinking of booze. Amazing.
My week is about to start. Really want a nice, less stressful and more positive one this week. I can say now, even when it is crazy mid week, I don't worry I will leave work and rush to the liquor store or a bar.
Off for my morning exercise. Have a great week Januarians. One more day.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
Hi guys ---
Top work NACN! 90 is awesome. And Congrats Cassandra! You should have hit 80 by now! Well done. And well done to everyone for keeping going.
Things are moving along okay here, but I'm getting impatient with things again.
To be perfectly honest, I have been feeling like I'm losing some of my confidence. intermittently. Never drinking ever, ever again seems like an impossibly large task. I just have this weird thought of "I'll never be able to drink again" and then I (or my addition) get this little panic. Again, I'm thinking of this as my addiction adjusting to my sobriety and trying out new tricks on me. I read in Rational Recovery that that "fear" of never drinking again should be treated as your addiction fearing for itself.
I've been reading The Addicted Brain by Micheal Kuhar Ph. D. He suggests that it may take over a year for the brain to normalize after a significant period of addictive addiction. So, 70+ days is still early in the game. So, I guess it is normal to still be finding my way.
Top work NACN! 90 is awesome. And Congrats Cassandra! You should have hit 80 by now! Well done. And well done to everyone for keeping going.
Things are moving along okay here, but I'm getting impatient with things again.
To be perfectly honest, I have been feeling like I'm losing some of my confidence. intermittently. Never drinking ever, ever again seems like an impossibly large task. I just have this weird thought of "I'll never be able to drink again" and then I (or my addition) get this little panic. Again, I'm thinking of this as my addiction adjusting to my sobriety and trying out new tricks on me. I read in Rational Recovery that that "fear" of never drinking again should be treated as your addiction fearing for itself.
I've been reading The Addicted Brain by Micheal Kuhar Ph. D. He suggests that it may take over a year for the brain to normalize after a significant period of addictive addiction. So, 70+ days is still early in the game. So, I guess it is normal to still be finding my way.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
I had a crazy drinking dream a night or two ago - maybe it was my 90 day gift to myself haha
Those really squash any urges I might be having - the feeling up waking up and thinking I actually drank is enough to panic me!
Just a quick check in then off to work. Sorry everyone if feeling so humdrum lately! I'm sure this sobriety thing has it's ups and downs. Now that everyone is settling in to a new routine and the honeymoon phase is over I'm not surprised. That doesn't mean drinking was a better option, though. I'm still happy to wake up not hungover every morning and do things with a clear head, even if they are less "fun"! I hope everyone starts feeling better soon.
I skipped my work out this morning because I was so tired I decided another hour of sleep would be better and I think it was the right choice. Off to work, happy Tuesday everyone!
Those really squash any urges I might be having - the feeling up waking up and thinking I actually drank is enough to panic me!
Just a quick check in then off to work. Sorry everyone if feeling so humdrum lately! I'm sure this sobriety thing has it's ups and downs. Now that everyone is settling in to a new routine and the honeymoon phase is over I'm not surprised. That doesn't mean drinking was a better option, though. I'm still happy to wake up not hungover every morning and do things with a clear head, even if they are less "fun"! I hope everyone starts feeling better soon.
I skipped my work out this morning because I was so tired I decided another hour of sleep would be better and I think it was the right choice. Off to work, happy Tuesday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day 94.
Good morning class mates. I woke up hangover free, still on track, with a crazy day yesterday behind me. Life's challenges are oddly mounting as if in some kind of insane, cosmic sobriety test. The best I could do yesterday , is come home after work, eat , drink tea and go to bed at first opportunity.
I hope everyone has a far more regular, far nicer, day than I had yesterday or expect today. This is one of those finding and being true to one's self weeks.
One more day.
Good morning class mates. I woke up hangover free, still on track, with a crazy day yesterday behind me. Life's challenges are oddly mounting as if in some kind of insane, cosmic sobriety test. The best I could do yesterday , is come home after work, eat , drink tea and go to bed at first opportunity.
I hope everyone has a far more regular, far nicer, day than I had yesterday or expect today. This is one of those finding and being true to one's self weeks.
One more day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 67
Good morning all.. Day 71...just a quick check in. Despair cloud has lifted somewhat and I feel a sense of peace and calmness the last couple of days (Thank God!!). Went out for dinner last night with a very good friend which historically has led to killing two or three bottles of wine during the meal. She had a bottle to herself and I had a few cranberry sodas and really didn't feel envious or uncomfortable which is very new for me. She thinks that this is a phase and that after a good break I should be able to have a glass or two on the weekends or on occasion like her (ya, like a bottle of wine a sitting is normal;-))...I don't think that non-alcoholics get the fact that for us..it doesn't end with just a couple and all the emotional sh!t it took to get this far in the journey. I am about 9 years older than she is and see some of the same dangerous patterns that led me to uncontrolled daily drinking.......I wish that I could just shake her and maker her realize that she is on a slippery slope and to stop before it is too late.
Have a great day!
J9
Have a great day!
J9
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
Congrats J9 on hitting ten weeks. Top work! 
I've just realized you live in the North. I lived in Winnipeg for eight years and my two kids are actually Canadian! I loved it but --- cliche alert --- the winters were just so freaking cold and long my wife wanted to move back to New Hampshire.
I've just realized you live in the North. I lived in Winnipeg for eight years and my two kids are actually Canadian! I loved it but --- cliche alert --- the winters were just so freaking cold and long my wife wanted to move back to New Hampshire.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 67
Thanks MMT!...Ahh, Winterpeg. I work for an agricultural company and have had my fair share of winter travel in the prairie provinces...No wonder you moved to NH...Good Call!!..lol. Congratulations to you as well on your sober time. I know what you mean about "the never drinking again, ever" thoughts. I am still only thinking about getting through each day...otherwise I would completely freak out!
J9
J9
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 268
Day 94,
Hey everyone, I’ve been a little sporadic writing lately as I'm working towards a deadline, but as always following along. Getting really excited about Summer, as the weather is starting to warm up, but also slightly worried. I need to start adjusting my sobriety plan to fit the approaching season, as with it brings a whole new list of obstacles and challenges.
Cassandra lee - I understand your mindset about having trouble painting sober. I’m an advertising copywriter by trade and enjoy creative writing on the side. My past routine used to consist of cracking open a bottle and "getting to work”. What a cliche, I know! Hemingway, I am not. I discovered the hardest part was the new routine, and it took time, but now I'm writing more often, more clearly and I'm personally finding it much more satisfying. Don’t give up….sit yourself down and give it time
NACN - Congrats on your 90 days!!! I hope your fundraiser was a success.
MrMCTell – Personally, I can’t tell myself I'll never drink again. My mind freaks out at the thought of it and that’s when my AV starts playing games. One day at a time really is the only way for me.
Site1Q84 – I also had a crazy dream a few nights ago!! I actually woke up so confused and half asleep that I asked my BF if I drank last night. It was terrifying and really emotional. I was so relieved it really was just a dream! Hope you didn’t treat that as your 90day gift and at least had a slice of cake or something
InaSilentWay - Congrats on your now 93 days!!!!!
DLB – I’ve had those days when going to bed early is the only thing you can do. You’ve got today!!!
J9NoWine – Good for you for not drinking with your friend. I think I would’ve found that especially difficult. I also have friends who look at my sobriety as a phase. These friends are also drinkers, like your friend, and I wonder if my sobriety simply makes them question their own habits. Congrats on staying strong
I hope you all are having a great day!!
Hey everyone, I’ve been a little sporadic writing lately as I'm working towards a deadline, but as always following along. Getting really excited about Summer, as the weather is starting to warm up, but also slightly worried. I need to start adjusting my sobriety plan to fit the approaching season, as with it brings a whole new list of obstacles and challenges.
Cassandra lee - I understand your mindset about having trouble painting sober. I’m an advertising copywriter by trade and enjoy creative writing on the side. My past routine used to consist of cracking open a bottle and "getting to work”. What a cliche, I know! Hemingway, I am not. I discovered the hardest part was the new routine, and it took time, but now I'm writing more often, more clearly and I'm personally finding it much more satisfying. Don’t give up….sit yourself down and give it time
NACN - Congrats on your 90 days!!! I hope your fundraiser was a success.
MrMCTell – Personally, I can’t tell myself I'll never drink again. My mind freaks out at the thought of it and that’s when my AV starts playing games. One day at a time really is the only way for me.
Site1Q84 – I also had a crazy dream a few nights ago!! I actually woke up so confused and half asleep that I asked my BF if I drank last night. It was terrifying and really emotional. I was so relieved it really was just a dream! Hope you didn’t treat that as your 90day gift and at least had a slice of cake or something
InaSilentWay - Congrats on your now 93 days!!!!!
DLB – I’ve had those days when going to bed early is the only thing you can do. You’ve got today!!!
J9NoWine – Good for you for not drinking with your friend. I think I would’ve found that especially difficult. I also have friends who look at my sobriety as a phase. These friends are also drinkers, like your friend, and I wonder if my sobriety simply makes them question their own habits. Congrats on staying strong
I hope you all are having a great day!!
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