site1Q84

I'm finding that I handle stress better now as well. I think part of it comes from actually dealing with problems instead of just drinking them away. It was hard to face those things at first, but facing them more and more I've come to learn that it's not the end of the world, and it usually isn't as big of a deal as I think it will be! Stress is just a part of life and there are far better, healthier ways to rid myself of it.

I slept terrible last nice - I'm a bit jet lagged and it doesn't seem to be fixing itself as quickly as it used to. Oh well! Better to be tired and sober than tired and hung over!

dontlookbacchus

Day 84.
Good morning Januarians. Great to read a few posts or quick check-ins from some of the non-daily posting team mates. It is good to know you are well.

I know the thread is quieting down a bit, but that is OK. I still feel the need to post and count each early day of this journey. For me, sobriety is so tenuous at times. I read the Feb/March newcomers threads and still feel exactly the same as those guys. As we all did in early January. I might be wrong but I fear that complacency leads to dropping my guard. There are so many great opportunities if I do this right. I want to break the habit of a life time, and actually really succeed in 2017.

So my counting days, reading your posts and write my own each day is probably crazy but it is my opportunity to reset. Check myself. Reflect on my journey and compare it to other newcomers who post.

Like you, CassandraLee, each morning waking hungover free still feels like Christmas morning. Even if I am a bit sleep deprived. Going for a run, or bike ride, while dawn is breaking is pure joy at times.

Have a wonderful, sober weekend classmates. I will be thinking of you all today as I get through my Saturday tasks. One more day.

PhoenixJ

DLB- good one. Not anyone here- but I have seen many on my recovery journey- in real time relapse because they got complacent. Once life gets 'back to normal' and the fear and anxiety of drinking, drugs- whatever falls away- they think this time will be different and they can handle 'just a few'. Not so for me- in my way of thinking- every day is day 1 on reminding myself of how hellish and destructive drinking was to me.

MrMcTell

I know PJ. I've definitely been having occasional thoughts of "what was all the fuss about?"

Reading a lot on SR has helped me identify this as another trap to be avoided.

I love counting up the sober days, but I do like the idea of every day being in some senses day 1 too...

J9NoWine

Good morning everyone... just celebrated day 60 yesterday.... very proud as I have had a couple of bad weeks prior feeling very despondent just trying to make it through each day. Looking forward to getting to a point where the fog will lift and I feel energized and excited again. I have to ask you guys for some help. I have an upcoming trip to Cuba on May 5th (girls trip with fellow wine lover - previous for me)... anyways, I am worried. I want both of us to enjoy this long awaited trip and don't know how ... any advice?

PhoenixJ

NO ADVICE. Is this trip such a threat to your recovery?

J9NoWine

Vacations have historically involved a lot of drinking... just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience... ie: vacation ( pre-planned) early in sobriety.

Cara39

Hi J9, speaking just for myself I couldn't do a trip like that so early in my sobriety. You may be different but I'm just not at that stage yet and right now I'll do whatever necessary to continue in my recovery. I had my first night out recently, it was a family dinner and a milestone birthday for one of my parents. Had it not been so important I would not have gone but I tried to plan for every eventuality as I have some heavy drinkers in my family. I drove and committed to driving my elderly parents home and to be honest it was fine, I enjoyed my meal but when it was over I was absolutely ready to get out of there before the drinking started in earnest and did. On a trip that may not be an option so I would find that far too stressful. Sorry I am not being more positive but this is not my first rodeo and I have failed more times than I care to remember because I didn't put my recovery first.

J9NoWine

Hi Cara... Thank u for your thoughts. I do know what you mean... This is my first time seriously trying to quit after 30 yrs of drinking which had developed into a 2 bottle of wine a day habit. Completely surprised that I have managed to make it this far and do not know if I could survive the hellish first couple of weeks again. Really need to think hard about this as I have already committed

Cassandralee

DLB, that's my concern also because looking back at my failed attempts to stop drinking, the pattern has always involved 'complacency'. This time I'm much more aware of my AV testing me. I have thoughts occasionally of being able to drink again, in moderation of course haha, in a few months. I know this time round, that's not possible, I've tested that theory out a few times. So I think I'm challenging these false ideas with facts, for the first time. However, I am still taking it one day at a time, as the thought of NEVER again still saddens me.

Sober Sunday mornings are the best!! I can't help but think back 72 days ago and compare how bad physically and emotionally I felt. I feel like there's not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I guess I'm trying to make up for so much lost time. It's so nice to be out of the woods..

J9, do your friends know that you don't drink?

J9NoWine

Hi Cassandra .. just one friend going.. yes, and most of my friend have been very supportive. I think it's more about me and what tools that I can put together make it through the week and not be tempted and/ or think that I could limit to one here and there

dontlookbacchus

Day 85.
A great, sober Sunday morning with coffee and a super helpful and interesting class thread.

J9, first of all, congratulations. 60 is awesome. The fog will lift, then maybe come down again a bit , and lift again. My guess is it goes completely at some point but I am still in the same boat as you. My big fog/depression around 50/60 day mark was physically gut wrenching and paralysing. Thank God I had SR and just kept on.

I am probably not in a place to give advice on how to handle long trips with alcohol. I have yet to properly socialise in surroundings with lots of boozing. I think if I had to do one night, or a short trip, I would definitely plan ahead. Choose my drinks ahead. Plan my excuses ahead. Maybe even call the venue to see what non-alcoholic drinks they had and plan around that. And set up an exit plan to leave for when it became too much.

I have a history of sober stretches and failing and this one is too precious. There is no going back now.

If you *have* to go, and it was a full vacation, my advice would be to just come clean and tell them you have a problem. If that isn't possible tell them you are "quitting for a year" or something. And plan early nights and super early mornings on your own, taking photo's or something. Have a separate vacation that overlaps with your friends. It could still be really fun.

Personally, it would be too stressful for me to be around booze for that long but other people are stronger than I am. Hope that 2 cents is helpful. just my point of view. And remember I know nothing about maintaining sobriety. This is the best I have ever been. Other SR classmates will be way more informed than I am.

I am off to re-begin my Sunday to-do list. Have a great day fellow Januarians. One more day.

Needachangenow

Hello Januarians!

Day 83 for me today.

Last night was the gala, and it went pretty well. My AV was screaming super loud on my way there. "Just one drink won't do any harm! It will make everything so much easier!" But, I ignored it. My husband and I got soda waters as soon as we got there. Since he was "on duty", he also could not drink. It was tough during the cocktail hour, but once we sat down to the table for dinner it was not too bad. Our table was not a big drinking table, although there was a lot of drinking going on in the room. After dinner was an auction, so we just had to sit at the table and listen.
After the auction there was still an HOUR AND A HALF of the event left, and we couldn't leave!! My husband had to be there til the bitter end. This is where things got a bit difficult, because if it had been up to me I would have left. I'm sure I was not great company to my husband...when I get stressed out I often just get really silent, I don't generally lash out or anything, but I must have been pretty boring. I think with others I was able to be somewhat chatty. But at this point in the evening my husband was free to get a drink and I encouraged him to do so. Is that strange? I just felt more normal if at least one of us had a drink. He does not have the problem that I do, he has been able to cut back to almost nothing the amount he drinks.

The last part of the gala seemed to go on forever, but I made it through. I was so relieved to get into the car when it was over! Climbed into bed with a nice warm cup of tea, and fell asleep before I had even finished it.

So, event accomplished! I start rehearsal this week, which is a good thing I think as I will be a lot busier.

Have a great sober Sunday everyone. Here we go into another week!

PhoenixJ

GOOD ONE nEED ACH

MrMcTell

Great work NACN! Sounds like a pretty tough situation, so well don't for making it through.

I think we probably have to accept that some activities are just drinking activities and they will never be fun now we can't drink. [That's alright; there's plenty of other things we can do instead!] I wouldn't feel weird or upset that you found a boozy gala (sounds like just an excuse to drink?) boring/ uncomfortable.

slangking

Blimey. It's 56 days sober which is the longest i have gone in my life, well since i was 17. It is hard at times but it is for the best.

dontlookbacchus

Day 86.
Well done NACN. Really great. I am sure knowing how long you had to stay calm, and strong, with no exit was tough. But you did it ! The next similar event might be easier having gone through this. Especially as it might be easier to make a quick exit from the event, if it became uncomfortable.
I am sure , drinking you tea , before you slept, and waking up the next day, you felt a lot of pride at accomplishing your goal. It goes to show planning up front helps.

I am seriously late to start my Monday, but that is OK. I woke at the normal time and immediately had a snooze after. Sundays are my worst insomniac nights, and last night was OK. Again, waking sober, hungover free and reading SR is all I require now, even if I am a little late for work or sleep deprived.

Welcome slangking. 56 days is awesome and a great record. Glad you found us. The January class is super supportive and it will be nice to hear about your journey, struggles and achievements whenever/if ever you want to.

Have a happy, healthy and sober week Januaraians.

CuteNGayYay

70 days!! Have a great week all!

MrMcTell

Brilliant.

dontlookbacchus

Day 87.
Good morning Januarians. I hope everyone is fairing well.
Well done Cute ! 70 !!

Many of us will begin hitting our 3 month milestones over the next 4 weeks. I guess, in sobriety terms, that is a big goal. In my mind, that was going to be when I stopped counting days. I suppose I have a few days to decide.

The journey has been overwhelming and felt impossible at times. I guess attrition in our class was inevitable, I have certainly been one of those who didn't make it this far in previous attempts. My hope is that those of us who struggled more get back and either join back with our class or another.

I know I felt a lot of shame when I screwed up and didn't feel able to post to my 2014 class support thread that I had done so. If I had, I might not have waited over 2 years until I tried again. I know now everyone would have welcomed me back.

As of today, I am sober and pushing on. One more day into this journey. Have a healthy, happy sober day, Januarians.