Applekat

Sorry i gave you the crud CH!

I've been putting GG on at night but honestly it's not doing much for me. I'm about 7 episodes in. I wanted to watch it because of the revival but maybe it's not worth it. Does it get better?

So I sort of let my little one cry it out a bit last night around 930 bc I was so sick feeling and just TIRED of trying to comfort her (also still sick). She finally laid down and slept from 10-530. Prob pure exhaustion. Now I feel guilty. Sigh. Always something in parenthood to feel guilty or worried about.

Day 10.

Applekat

Phoenix -Grey's Anatomy has made me tear up on several occasions.

I teared up on This Is Us last night.

PhoenixJ

AK- never heard of that series. We of the convict nation only get one hour of black and white TV a week.
Been working on study and challenges thrown to me by the G&P Aus. Slowly sinking in. Interesting- the most assertive and 'snitch' on people thing I have done here (except obvious things such as drinking or using drugs) is not the rotting food or the toilets. It is nasty, dirty pathetic sexual comments made by blokes about any women- staff or clients. That one really makes me see red- creeps. Anger can be a useful tool.
Hope y'all r ok. PJ

clearlyheaded

AK - I had no idea the crud was contagious over the Interwebs. Now I know! GG does get better. I'm not quite understanding the hype. But it's brain candy.

I want to stay in bed today. My throat hurts and I have zero energy. Maybe I'll take a half day if I don't feel better by lunch.

Happy sober hump day friends.

samantha14

Putting my hand up....I'm struggling. I ended up drinking last night....no let's re-do that....i consciously chose to drink last night. Nauseous, headache...the whole nine yards this morning. I saw the warning signs and I ignored them. Not sure I will ever figure this out...

Bobbieka

Sorry everyone has the crud. I just wanted to say the word. Lol , Not one used around here.

I do hope everyone starts feeling better. My ear is healing nicely. A little pain, but bearable.

Therapy Monday night. My almost slip was normal it seems. He thinks it has been easy for me so far. He was glad I came out on top. Me too. I think he's nuts if he thinks it's easy. Ah well. My life is better, I do know that.

Phx - Not sure about how my family is feeling, but I am more at peace this Christmas than I ever have been. Funny thing I've noticed, the better I am, the better they feel. Even my brothers and sister. It seems I had everyone worried for a while. Can I be nosy and ask exactly what your living conditions are? From your posts, I think you are in a community living facility - like a halfway house maybe. Is it rehab facility for your addiction or your burns? Your trek back to your old neighborhood made me sad. I truly hope one day your family gets to see the man you are.

Have a super Wednesday, March Friends! Talk more later.

PS - I left my freaking phone at home again. My husband is bringing it to me. I think I still have some messedupness from drinking so much. (I made that word up)

Bobbieka

Samantha - You are still here. You'll get it. When I bought the alcohol, I looked at everything leading up to it - I had stopped meditating, I didn't run, I was eating like crap - it was only a few days, but apparently, I need those rituals everyday in my life to feel complete. LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE You! Lots.

Thirteenth

Stay strong Sam. You can do this, you have done this. Just keep pushing.

I'm happy to say that I finally got in touch with my relative yesterday and all is, sort of, well. I chose to drink because I was emotionally exhausted and fearful, then I chose to keep going because I got good news. Never good reasons, but there they are.

Bobbieka

Thirteenth, Glad everything turned out okay with your relative.

clearlyheaded

Bobbie - Glad your ear is feeling better. I understand when you say your family does and feels better when you are doing well. That's how it was with my dad. When he was doing well, we felt like we could breathe. When he wasn't, there was constant worry. That is the biggest reason I am reluctant to talk to my family about me. I know what it will do to them

Sam - Don't quit getting back up. I stopped trying, and it landed me back in that pit of misery. Proud and happy to see you here today.

PJ - Proud of you for all of the work you are doing. I hope your family finds grace to see it too.

13th - glad you connected with your family member. Our disease will find any and all excuses to get us to drink.

Still feeling gross, but I brought peppermint tea with me to work, I have cough drops, and a decongestant. Hopefully I'all bounce back in a few hours.

Ladybug2

Hi all, I've been struggling too. Day 1. I want the peace and sanity back. I want a sober holiday ...free from the constant obsession of drinking. Not sure if I will ever be free of the obsession, but for today I will not drink. One day at a time. Will be sticking close to here and asking for help more.

beerbgone

Sam I'm soooo sorry! I'm in the same boat. But we will figure this out!

samantha14

LB and BBG - day one is still day one...we are here and that's something. Lets not drink today okay?

Well house is clean and waiting on my daughter to get here....head is pounding....ah well natural consequences I suppose

Ladybug2

No drinking for me, Sam. What are you and your daughter going to do? Hope your head feels better.

beerbgone

I poured out the last of the beer in my fridge. I must recommit!!!

Applekat

ASSIGNMENT for those who choose:

Consequences

Negative Consequences of Drinking:
1. Physical Hangover - nausea, headache, heart palpitations
2. Mental Hangover - regret, anxiety
3. Hard to get back on the wagon
4. Knowing my kids aren't getting the best "Mom" I can be the day after
5. Telling my husband I feel "fine" and just had one too many (oh, I believe this is called LYING)

Positive Consequences of Drinking:*
1. feeling a happy buzz (then downhill)
2. feeling like I'm fitting in at the party (which isn't necessary)
3. feeling like I am increasing the enjoyment of the holiday (until I'm not)
4. feeling like I am getting a reward (it ends up NOT being a reward)
5. feeling like it is giving me energy (until I don't sleep because of it and am more tired)
*Obviously I want to answer NONE, but I tried to come up with a few that can seem "positive" in the short-term but we KNOW it's all CRAP

Positive Consequences of NOT Drinking:
1. Physically Healthier - less grogginess, bloating, red skin
2. Mentally Healthier - Wake up with a clear head, no regret
3. Ready and available to my children, whether that be playing with them or safely driving them all over
4. No scheming, planning, buying "extras" with cash, having pre-drinking drinks
5. Much lighter and noise-less recycle bin

Upstairs

Hola! My best to those that slipped up the last week! You did the right thing in popping back right away and trying again. I got to thinking about the people on SR that just up and disappear and have never returned. I guess they're probably on a binge that hasn't ended yet. Maybe they just lost interest in the site. Anyways, take care today all!

Applekat

Hi, Upstairs! For the couple of years I've been here and all my slips, I still often think about and miss those I don't see on here anymore at all. As the wise ones here on SR have said....I think of them and wish them well!

clearlyheaded

Fun fact: in two and a half days of sobriety I have avoided consuming over 3,500 calories of poison. That's one pound, folks.

Dee74

I'm running the risk of badly repeating myself here...

but I had to take the option of drinking off the table.

As long as I saw drinking as a viable option, nothing changed (except maybe for the worse).

If I wanted my life to change I had to stop turning to the bottle.

That meant finding other healthier ways to deal with my life and its problems.

It also meant facing a certain amount of short term pain while I developed and initiated those alternative ways of dealing..

The truth was I was in pain whether I drank or not, so I thought I may as well give option B a go.

Theres been some awesome advice here over 37 threads.

Noone here can make you guys stop drinking - but I hope everyone of you will maybe revisit some of that great advice.

keep trying.

D