One Year & Over Part 42
Sober date 5/1/13
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
Good morning Overs.
Mags - I'm looking after my parents' cat this week, grumpy because of arthritis, doesn't like to be touched but will talk to you for hours.
Have a good day everyone.
Mags - I'm looking after my parents' cat this week, grumpy because of arthritis, doesn't like to be touched but will talk to you for hours.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Good morning Overs!
Itchy, thanks for the video
. I hadn't wanted to take meds for my drinking but after my hectic winter move to the OFH and without my normal supports, I had a brief 1-glass of wine slip at about 8 months sober. That scared the heck out of me. The way I used the med was off-label but I did tell my doc. He wasn't thrilled but agreed to let me do it and it worked really well for me. Not my first choice but it worked. I don't think it would have done the job when I was first trying to get sober - I needed to do all the work!
FTG, your friend was fortunate to have you. Living here at the OFH I'm learning not to fear death. It really is a normal part of life and it has its own entire range of feelings.
Itchy, thanks for the video
. I hadn't wanted to take meds for my drinking but after my hectic winter move to the OFH and without my normal supports, I had a brief 1-glass of wine slip at about 8 months sober. That scared the heck out of me. The way I used the med was off-label but I did tell my doc. He wasn't thrilled but agreed to let me do it and it worked really well for me. Not my first choice but it worked. I don't think it would have done the job when I was first trying to get sober - I needed to do all the work!FTG, your friend was fortunate to have you. Living here at the OFH I'm learning not to fear death. It really is a normal part of life and it has its own entire range of feelings.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
I love cats so much, they're like little people and also like little wild animals in our midst, who choose to be domesticated! I don't live with one, but I have always liked the vocal ones with lots to say! Just the fact that they're communicating with us is so adorable, and I have to say that when cats bring us their little gifts, as mean as it seems, it just kills me that they're trying to feed us! Because they think we can't do it. So cute!!!! It is a tragic love that I have for cats because I'm deathly allergic, as in, you could kill me if you locked me in a room with a cat. I stop breathing. But I love them so, sigh. Thank goodness for allergy pills!
Happy Hump Day!!!!
Happy Hump Day!!!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
IP,
I like the OPs cats. I have met a lot of really great personality cats. We've rescued two here, but got them homed elsewhere. My SH doesn't like them at all, so my on the fence is easy to resolve.
Mags,
They were a riot. Sounds like your cat has her hoomin training coming along fine!
Hi Fluffer,
Good synopsis video. Howaya!
Sassy I was not being critical, I was a one shot serious quit and never got into multiple approaches save here, and AA for a bit. AA is never a mistake whether used as I did or all in. I think that having others F2F being non judgmental and fully believing the experiences that others, non-alcoholics in denial, dismiss as no big problem you just need to cut back a little. I did my daily quits and failures in the mornings so you can say that I relapsed 183 times in the six months before I found my program. I only quit the rehab because there were homeless fellow vets who had no retirement or anything that needed my bed.
I had my truck downstairs and my nice home and furkids. But more to the point the rehab "babysitting" and forcing me to recover their way was insulting to me. I acknowledged that perhaps others would drink if unsupervised but I was done before I checked in to start safely.
Since then my son and other health care professionals who have dealt with patients in detox have told me I am not the "normal" alcoholic trying to recover. I knew the biology and just needed the head start of the medical detox. I thought I might need the support of the 28 day follow on rehab, but they had nothing I needed, I was done. It was just getting through PAWS where I needed support.
M SH asked if she needed to drink in another room and smoke outside. I told her that as soon as we moved into the new house I would like her to do what she tried to get me to do when I smoked and both of us smoke outside and keep the house smoke free. She still drinks scotch every night within limits like I drank, keep the buzz and ease back if it got tipsy. I told her to just ignore my sobriety as if she ever wants to quit she can for herself, but her drinking at home in front of me was never going to be a problem. And it has not. My entire six years of sobriety and no longer smoking three packs a day, her half gallon of scotch and carton of cigarettes, same brand we both smoked, has been in the same cabinet and she works and I am home. Never has been a temptation. Others say it is, for them, important to not have it near. My belief is that I can hop in the car and buy any kind of alcohol I want within ten minutes. It is like when you are looking for the cookies and have to move the pickles out of the way. You don't stop and fantasize about eating the pickles, in fact they don't register much at all. Her scotch and carton of cigarettes are like that for me. Alcohol is inanimate for me. No awakening of a thirst, not inner demon whispering in my ear. By the number of folks that fight daily after a year or more we can all see I am a weird duck in the land of recovery as a recovered alcoholic.
Funny but I was so secretive and withdrawn about my increasing problem that I never knew that my insurance funds two rehabs in a lifetime! I could have quit the year before and been 7 years sober today!
See, military personnel fall under the PRP (Personnel Reliability Program) and cannot have any psychological weaknesses or flaws, and after retirement the types of jobs we qualify for involve the same human reliability factors and background checks, such that there are lots of good folks going without help because of the catch 22. In hindsight, I realized that as smart as I am, and regardless of my research abilities, I was incapable of realizing that all those folks in rehab were not rich, they just had insurance as I did. See I had no experience and certainly was not going to talk to anybody about it as they would think I was a weak link. 
There is nothing wrong with detoxing at home (as long as you know what to look out for) meetings for life, books, F2F counseling, 30 day Rehab programs and/or seeking sobriety alone or here with the best group on the planet which encompasses all the different recovery approaches in a tolerant non-judgmental atmosphere. If it was a one way only and success, we would not be here. The beauty of this place is that, combined with local intel/support from AA/Counselors/your doc/family and friends we don't have to be as ignorant of the support and facilities available.
If a person that is trying to quit is homeless or low income with no insurance but has at some time in the past served in the US military for a minimum of 18 months honorably and was given an honorable discharge, they are eligible for the VA programs across the US.
I may be a weird duck but I could have been an informed duck had I come here and complained that I could not afford a detox rehab. I would likely have been set straight by the other Vets who have been through it. I retired after 27 years and have full coverage insurance and my ignorance of all things alcoholic.
I finally got hip, quit and am home free!
Thanks to my friends and family, online and off, who helped me through a very tough six months of extreme PAWS.
I like the OPs cats. I have met a lot of really great personality cats. We've rescued two here, but got them homed elsewhere. My SH doesn't like them at all, so my on the fence is easy to resolve.
Mags,
They were a riot. Sounds like your cat has her hoomin training coming along fine!
Hi Fluffer,
Good synopsis video. Howaya!
Sassy I was not being critical, I was a one shot serious quit and never got into multiple approaches save here, and AA for a bit. AA is never a mistake whether used as I did or all in. I think that having others F2F being non judgmental and fully believing the experiences that others, non-alcoholics in denial, dismiss as no big problem you just need to cut back a little. I did my daily quits and failures in the mornings so you can say that I relapsed 183 times in the six months before I found my program. I only quit the rehab because there were homeless fellow vets who had no retirement or anything that needed my bed.
I had my truck downstairs and my nice home and furkids. But more to the point the rehab "babysitting" and forcing me to recover their way was insulting to me. I acknowledged that perhaps others would drink if unsupervised but I was done before I checked in to start safely.
Since then my son and other health care professionals who have dealt with patients in detox have told me I am not the "normal" alcoholic trying to recover. I knew the biology and just needed the head start of the medical detox. I thought I might need the support of the 28 day follow on rehab, but they had nothing I needed, I was done. It was just getting through PAWS where I needed support.
M SH asked if she needed to drink in another room and smoke outside. I told her that as soon as we moved into the new house I would like her to do what she tried to get me to do when I smoked and both of us smoke outside and keep the house smoke free. She still drinks scotch every night within limits like I drank, keep the buzz and ease back if it got tipsy. I told her to just ignore my sobriety as if she ever wants to quit she can for herself, but her drinking at home in front of me was never going to be a problem. And it has not. My entire six years of sobriety and no longer smoking three packs a day, her half gallon of scotch and carton of cigarettes, same brand we both smoked, has been in the same cabinet and she works and I am home. Never has been a temptation. Others say it is, for them, important to not have it near. My belief is that I can hop in the car and buy any kind of alcohol I want within ten minutes. It is like when you are looking for the cookies and have to move the pickles out of the way. You don't stop and fantasize about eating the pickles, in fact they don't register much at all. Her scotch and carton of cigarettes are like that for me. Alcohol is inanimate for me. No awakening of a thirst, not inner demon whispering in my ear. By the number of folks that fight daily after a year or more we can all see I am a weird duck in the land of recovery as a recovered alcoholic.
Funny but I was so secretive and withdrawn about my increasing problem that I never knew that my insurance funds two rehabs in a lifetime! I could have quit the year before and been 7 years sober today!
See, military personnel fall under the PRP (Personnel Reliability Program) and cannot have any psychological weaknesses or flaws, and after retirement the types of jobs we qualify for involve the same human reliability factors and background checks, such that there are lots of good folks going without help because of the catch 22. In hindsight, I realized that as smart as I am, and regardless of my research abilities, I was incapable of realizing that all those folks in rehab were not rich, they just had insurance as I did. See I had no experience and certainly was not going to talk to anybody about it as they would think I was a weak link. There is nothing wrong with detoxing at home (as long as you know what to look out for) meetings for life, books, F2F counseling, 30 day Rehab programs and/or seeking sobriety alone or here with the best group on the planet which encompasses all the different recovery approaches in a tolerant non-judgmental atmosphere. If it was a one way only and success, we would not be here. The beauty of this place is that, combined with local intel/support from AA/Counselors/your doc/family and friends we don't have to be as ignorant of the support and facilities available.
If a person that is trying to quit is homeless or low income with no insurance but has at some time in the past served in the US military for a minimum of 18 months honorably and was given an honorable discharge, they are eligible for the VA programs across the US.
I may be a weird duck but I could have been an informed duck had I come here and complained that I could not afford a detox rehab. I would likely have been set straight by the other Vets who have been through it. I retired after 27 years and have full coverage insurance and my ignorance of all things alcoholic.
I finally got hip, quit and am home free!
Thanks to my friends and family, online and off, who helped me through a very tough six months of extreme PAWS.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,848
Well stated, Itch.
I joined SR after about a month sober. I was told by some here that I would never make it without AA. That only made my resolve all the stronger as I had no intention of joining AA. I have nothing against anybody that does need AA as I know it saved my Dad's life and I have many wonderful friends here that are "friends of Bill W". I've always marched to my own drummer and when I set my mind to do something, I do it. On my Day 1, as I was lying in the ER with an IV in me, I had my epiphany...I knew that from that moment on I would never drink again. Call it divine intervention or just plain old resolve, but here I am 7+ years later. I'm pretty certain I'd be dead by now if I wouldn't have had that one moment of clarity. Like I always say, it's the end result that matters, not the method.
I joined SR after about a month sober. I was told by some here that I would never make it without AA. That only made my resolve all the stronger as I had no intention of joining AA. I have nothing against anybody that does need AA as I know it saved my Dad's life and I have many wonderful friends here that are "friends of Bill W". I've always marched to my own drummer and when I set my mind to do something, I do it. On my Day 1, as I was lying in the ER with an IV in me, I had my epiphany...I knew that from that moment on I would never drink again. Call it divine intervention or just plain old resolve, but here I am 7+ years later. I'm pretty certain I'd be dead by now if I wouldn't have had that one moment of clarity. Like I always say, it's the end result that matters, not the method.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Sassy,
Great! Thanks.
I have a humor piece I wrote about the lack of body language online:
"I didn't worry about disagreeing with you for the reasons you stated, nor being read wrong. Or reading yours wrong. But if you read mine as I read yours and read any part wrong, based on reading into what you read, as you want to read the meaning, and not reading past experience in reading what was read, as the right read to what you read, and then I read anything wrong as well, reading mine would possibly result in my reading yours wrong, by reading too much into it. But if we read it right, can re-read it again to read into it what was written to be read in reading it in the first reading, right?"
© Itchy 2003. All rights reserved, three rights make a left.
Great! Thanks.
I have a humor piece I wrote about the lack of body language online:
"I didn't worry about disagreeing with you for the reasons you stated, nor being read wrong. Or reading yours wrong. But if you read mine as I read yours and read any part wrong, based on reading into what you read, as you want to read the meaning, and not reading past experience in reading what was read, as the right read to what you read, and then I read anything wrong as well, reading mine would possibly result in my reading yours wrong, by reading too much into it. But if we read it right, can re-read it again to read into it what was written to be read in reading it in the first reading, right?"
© Itchy 2003. All rights reserved, three rights make a left.
Wu Wei
Join Date: May 2014
Location: So. California, USA
Posts: 351
Originally Posted by FormerBeerLover 
Like I always say, it's the end result that matters, not the method.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,533
Originally Posted by InParticular
I love cats so much, they're like little people and also like little wild animals in our midst, who choose to be domesticated! I don't live with one, but I have always liked the vocal ones with lots to say! Just the fact that they're communicating with us is so adorable, and I have to say that when cats bring us their little gifts, as mean as it seems, it just kills me that they're trying to feed us! Because they think we can't do it. So cute!!!! It is a tragic love that I have for cats because I'm deathly allergic, as in, you could kill me if you locked me in a room with a cat. I stop breathing. But I love them so, sigh. Thank goodness for allergy pills!
Happy Hump Day!!!!
Happy Hump Day!!!!
Cats...just wow.
When I first got sober 20 years ago, yes, you read that right, I had a friend in AA called Sara. And she had the most amazing cat. The face on that cat was something to behold....just incredible beauty, and the eyes of a very wise old soul. One day she said to me ~
People ask how can you believe in God.
I look at my cat's face, and think: how can you not?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
There is nothing wrong with detoxing at home (as long as you know what to look out for)
Even tho I had a ton of knowledge,. my last home alone detox was a disaster because there's no warning when trouble strikes, and if you're not thinking clearly to begin with you can really find yourself in trouble.
I'm lucky to be here.
D
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