sadsadgirl

Hi there A team. Your posts on my other thread really helped me. I threw it away on your good advice. I'm feeling certain that this is my last day 1. I don't have to do this to myself any more. I have looked at my plan and tweaked it. I need to set myself achievable goals for each day. Today it is to get into work and do a good job today. That will help me build my pride back up. I hope you don't mind me still posting in here. I love the A-team. I'm doing ok today.

Elle126

Hi sad girl you are part of our group and we are here on your journey with you EVERY step of the way, you will always be one of the A team. So glad you are back! Big hugs. Elle ❤️

Elle126

Hope you don't mind if I check in a lot today, ex is posting his wedding ceremony on FB today and I really CANNOT look, will tear what's left of my heart into shreds. Add to that letter from lawyer re his financial claims against me am a tad fragile. He's making a broo ha about the fact I didn't return the wedding ring he gave to me - I mean really? Stick the knife in deep why don't you. God grant me the serenity. Will now lawn and garden today, then therapist at 3... Boy is he gonna be inundated lol and meeting tonight, my home group so will be spilling it out big time!!! I know, this too shall pass..... Thanks everyone. Elle❤️

MrPL

Hi Elle - stay strong there, life is about the new Elle, and your ex is part of old Elle, so what he does is completely irrelevant to how awesome your future will be. Sobriety is just step one, dealing with these emotions is what really makes you strong. Proud of you for doing it!

P

Elle126

Thanks Mr P just spoke to my sponsor who has been away for the last week and she has referred me to read the part of the big book that talks about acceptance so will do that in a mo. Still have to mow lawn. Anxiety off the scale so physical activity will be good for me. Still not peeked. Will just keep asking God to keep me safe and give me strength and courage today.
Thank you guys can't tell you how much you have all helped me this last week. ❤️

Elle126

11.45 still not peaked and still not mown lawn! 😔

sadsadgirl

Ah Elle, you might not have mown the lawn yet but you've achieved something today-you reaching out to me has helped me no end. Your supportive words have given me a lift when I really needed it. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're achieving big things without even realising it!

Elle126

Thank you darling, am still hanging on X

sadsadgirl

Good to hear it Elle. Also don't hold back when speaking to your therapist. It's better out than in. You deserve to be happy and you're doing the right thing coming on here. I'll be here all day.

cwood3

Off to AA meeting (7am) on my Day 40. Found a really great lead for an engineering position that I am perfect for. That would let me say goodbye to Dick's Sporting Goods! I'm just hoping...no big let down either way. Can't decide whether to have ice cream or mom's oatmeal/raisin cookies for breakfast. I'll tackle that after AA. Have a great day all.

Elicia08

Good morning all! I'm up and at em and have a busy day ahead. First order of business is getting the dang plumber to come in and fix this leak... Also painting a little step stool for my friends birthday. She is vertically challenged and my boyfriend and I are most definitely not so it's kind of an inside joke... I'll try to post a pic when it's done, if I can ever get it finished. Also have to pack for my trip. Haven't been home in five years and I'm kind of nervous, but super excited at the same time.

SSG--thank you for letting us know you're okay. I, for one, was pretty worried. So glad you were able to throw the poison away. One day at a time, girl, and you can do this!

Elle--stay away from that evil Facebook!! Come here as often as you need to! I'll be off and on all day. Have to wait for paint to dry periodically.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, y'all!!

Elicia08

Best of luck, cwood! We're rooting for you!!

Elle126

Great news c wood!! Now nearly 1pm still not looked just hope I can resist tonight. That will be the hardest time and to top it all cravings for alcohol kicking in. Gahhhhh 😡😡😡

MrPL

Hi Elle - you can do this! Get a good funny movie, popcorn, chocolate and have a fun night without social media or evil thoughts.

@cwood - awesome stuff, it's great to see your life getting back on track little by little. Sorry, I ve been away for a while so not sure you sent any updates, but how are things going with going back to your house?

P

sadsadgirl

Thanks Eilicia, I'm sorry for making you worry but I'm back at this and giving it my all. It is such a poison. But this place is a rock for me.

Cwood that's great news. Hope it comes good for you. 40days is amazing too.

Elle-yeah I agree with the sentiments on here-stay away from Facebook. It's the worst! You have the sober tools to make it through today, just flex them sober muscles. You've got this.

Having an OK day in work. Feel like I'm a bit shell shocked from this most recent binge. It came over me so suddenly.

fgo

Hi Everyone,
It's a new day.
Elle,,, You know you can have your daughter or friend delete anyone off your facebook so you don't have to look at it? Or, you can delete facebook completely. To me it sounds like you have a splinter in your finger, instead of pulling it out, your watching it get it get a painfully infected. We are human, thats what we do sometimes.

SSG,,, Glad to see you back so quick, glad your tweekin your plan.

Jodc,,, I read your post on newcomers, you are an A-Teamer forever. Do whatever you need to not drink.

MrP,,, You are right. I've never been much of a planner, It's Time to change that.
I've got so much to do it gets overwhelming. Chaos in the brain is exhausting.

Dee,,, What can I say, I'm sure I speak for everyone, Thank You.

I just wanted everyone that is having a tough time you inspire me how quick you have come back. The last time I picked up it took me 2 miserable years to come back. I would'nt wish that on anyone. I read someones avatar yesterday,
"A white belt is just a black belt that never quit." I know what it takes to get a black belt in tdk. Now it's time to earn my black belt in sobriety(life).

Thank you A-team.

Elle126

Thank you guys for holding me through this latest crises. Sorry to be such a pain, feel like one of those old records that's got stuck in a groove.....
Not looked, came v v close at 3.12 this av then saw the time and realised had to rush off for therapy appt. OMG played so many movies to him.... The his life is so wonderful and he is going to be happy ever after movie(love addiction movie) the all will crash and burn when she discovers he's a sex addict movie, the if I drink again movie, dark room, wine vodka, sleeping pills, suicide notes movie and the where I was in January when I first walked into the rooms movie... The blackness and the despair... That movie was the one that got me the most. I was so lost, so hopeless for the future, spiritually and emotionally dead. So alone... I reached out to no one.
The today movie is so different. I have you, all of you, willing me forwards wishing for me the life I deserve or just wishing and hoping I will get through this. I have AA, my sponsor and my friends in the fellowship who's only desire is to see me get well and get better.
I have my children who's love I have tested so many times, who still stand by me no matter what I have done in the past.
I have my friends who love me, who know me, inside out and upside down and are still my friends, they've travelled my life path with me, through grief, divorce and the latest shenanigans and they still love me.
A year ago when in full blown alcoholism I could not even begin to see this... I had zero self worth and felt of no value at all. One year on, as painful as this is I am so very grateful.
Thank you A-team. You rock. Elle. ❤️

Chanchiluv

Hi folks! Just a quick update to tell you I haven't dropped off the face of the planet or anything. I fell off the wagon briefly, but am back on track again, so that's good. :-)

I have also been experiencing back trouble, so I went today to a spine specialist for my 1st appointment. I've had trouble before with a herniated disc, which was fixed with surgery three years ago. This problem seems similar (same pain/charley horse down the legs, etc.), so I decided to just head straight back to a specialist and cut out the middleman. LOL They gave me some pain meds and muscle relaxers to take and I'm to have an MRI on Monday to see what's going on.

I'm glad everyone is staying the course (for the most part). I have been reading the board almost every day, I just havent felt up to posting.

Keep up the good work! <3

sadsadgirl

Hi Elle-loving your description of the movies-I have similar movies I torture myself with rerunning over and over again. But there is some hope in one movie-it's remembering the friends I have helping me through this, who haven't given up on me, the A team who rallied behind me yesterday when I posted in another thread, and the small bit of hope I feel because I have come back quickly, there must be something in me that wants to fight this.

You guys are making me realise it's in there. I'm on my way back from work. Zero cravings, only a warm sense of resolution in me. Cheers for everything guys.

MrPL

Night A-Team. Will have an early night for once, try and meditate for longer than usual than back to hectic productive mode tomorrow.

SSG, enjoy your last first night sober.

Elle, hope you are ok there and super proud and happy of the awesome A-teamer you are.

Chanchiluv, welcome back, glad you are back on the wagon.

Fgo, love the black belt quote, so true. Persistence and dedication can get us anywhere.

Proud of our team as usual!

Mr P