Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Originally Posted by kgirl41 
B - I love your posts, they are always so well written and very insightful. You are doing an amazing job with this sobriety thing, you're really peeling back the layers and I see only greatness for you. My insight is a bit different at this stage. My anxiety has taken on a different form, it's more subtle, but always there nagging at me. I'm finding my sleep patterns are starting to become interrupted and I lay in bed just thinking. All of this is familiar. I feel like all drinking has done for me is postpone the inevitable. Like I've numbed my emotions and set things to the side and not dealt with it. Like ever. Like having an alcoholic mother, like having a father that isn't engaged, like losing my cousin to alcoholism when she was only 37, and three months later my brother losing his life to an overdose. Like all the stupid things I have done in my life, all the friends I have lost, how now I am not very close to anyone at all. Yes, it's a lot, and this is what happens when I try to get sober. Once I get past the hard part of stopping, and just when it feels like everything is great and life is beautiful, just when I think I have it all figured out, there is a knock at my door and they have a briefcase full of all of this undealt crap from my life and they say " You have to deal with this now, the time has come". And I want to run away scared because I don't know how to deal with all of that. I don't know how to forgive God much less myself. I don't know how to make it all fair and good in my head. I don't know how to clear it all out, get past it so I can actually be the person I'm supposed to be. This is so familiar. This is me treading near a relapse. I'm not having cravings. Cravings don't break me. This subtle anxiety does.
You are where you are, you dealt with it in the only way how you knew how at that time. Some people's life books are very thick whereas some people glide through life with very thin books. Whatever the reason, your book is thick, your life lessons many and today you are in control of how the rest of your book will be written.
One think I do know kgirl is if you go back to alcohol your book will not get much thicker, in sobriety you will be able to add many more pages full of wondrous self discovery and enlightenment. You can make the last part of your book a happy tale that will be an inspiration for others to read.
YOU CAN DO THIS KGIRL I KNOW IT.
Hugs. Elle❤️
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Check in time fellow A-teamers, loved reading all of your threads, pleased to see you're all keeping up with the fight, very proud of each and every one of you. Glad to see you're all continuing to post, accountability and commitment is really important for keeping us on track. Delighted to see old faces returning as well, just look at how far we have come in such a short time, even with slips, we've all jumped back on the recovery bus and I am positive we are gonna do this, arms linked together.... A TEAM.
Very weird weekend, lots going on, lots of visitors, people staying over etc so been very busy, all good stuff helping me to stay focused and not go into self.
Not been sleeping too great so plowed my way through a book about domestic violence and "gas lighting" put a whole new perspective upon my relationship with my ex and helped me to step away from the romantic fantasy of what it was like in the beginning to the absolute reality of what it was like in the last couple of years.... Just for today I can say I do not feel any compulsion whatsoever to peek. Can't quite describe it but something has changed, don't know what just yet and I don't know if it will stay this way but today all I want to do is get on with life. Hmmm let's see Augustians, as you know I could be a snivelling pathetic wreck tomorrow lol but right now am at peace. Catch you all later, keep on posting. Elle ❤️
Very weird weekend, lots going on, lots of visitors, people staying over etc so been very busy, all good stuff helping me to stay focused and not go into self.
Not been sleeping too great so plowed my way through a book about domestic violence and "gas lighting" put a whole new perspective upon my relationship with my ex and helped me to step away from the romantic fantasy of what it was like in the beginning to the absolute reality of what it was like in the last couple of years.... Just for today I can say I do not feel any compulsion whatsoever to peek. Can't quite describe it but something has changed, don't know what just yet and I don't know if it will stay this way but today all I want to do is get on with life. Hmmm let's see Augustians, as you know I could be a snivelling pathetic wreck tomorrow lol but right now am at peace. Catch you all later, keep on posting. Elle ❤️
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Thank you Dee and Elle. I know drinking is not the answer and I don't want to go back to drinking. I really struggle with this gnawing anxiety. And I guess that's why I posted it all here because I know where this is going and this time I want to change the course. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Western US
Posts: 1,765
Good morning class. Hope all is well.
Kgirl. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. Have you ever tried Mindful Meditation? I took a class on it at the University and it really helped. The instructor said the reason she got into it and became an instructor was because of her anxiety.
Like most things (at least for me) it didn't have much of an effect until we were six weeks into the course, but by then it was working great. Once you become "practiced" it's an amazing tool and can be done anytime anywhere and even taking 5 minutes in the middle of a anxious time can be like a reset button.
Elle. Glad you are feeling good today and are not peeking. If the stove is red hot do you touch it to see if it's hot?
Kgirl. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. Have you ever tried Mindful Meditation? I took a class on it at the University and it really helped. The instructor said the reason she got into it and became an instructor was because of her anxiety.
Like most things (at least for me) it didn't have much of an effect until we were six weeks into the course, but by then it was working great. Once you become "practiced" it's an amazing tool and can be done anytime anywhere and even taking 5 minutes in the middle of a anxious time can be like a reset button.
Elle. Glad you are feeling good today and are not peeking. If the stove is red hot do you touch it to see if it's hot?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Good morning A-team. We are home from a fun, busy weekend. It's a dark, rainy day today which is okay because it kinda suits my mood. Want y'all to know how much I appreciate the raw, honest posts about where you are and what you are struggling with. I have a hard time opening up even here, but you guys inspire me to try to do better. Hope you all have a great sober Sunday!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
I'm drinking coffee so a little more awake now. I took the picture but can't load it because it's too big and I don't know how to make it smaller. :/ anyway it makes me happy to have good coffee in my room. 
Kgirl I feel you so much. I don't know how to pour out how much and why I understand you while typing on an iPad but let me start by saying your stuff is so hard and so sad. It really is. I think my substance abuse really took off at age 25 when my partner of 5 years committed suicide and I was blamed for it for breaking up with him at a really hard time in his life: when his father had just died and he was struggling with alcoholism. I had my reasons but he was perfectly wonderful person who I was extremely close with. I have issues from sexual assault in my late teens, abuse as a child that I know now would have landed my parents in jail or certainly had me taken away if it had gone reported, and the only person in my life who was a light was an aunt who I lived with on and off - she had a long demise from extremely early dementia which culminated and killed her in 2013. Then in 2014 one of my best friends killed herself. I don't talk to my mother after a long trip to the bottom that culminated last fall, nearing on a year soon. She came to visit for a holiday and I'd go back to my gf's house at night (she couldn't afford a hotel so I gave her my one bedroom apartment while she was visiting and she kicked me out of it at one point because she didn't like my dish drainer, mental illness is something else), and would get obliviated alone because my gf wasn't there, was visiting her family out of state. I know because I have a good therapist that you can't fix people, they hurt and it's the illness: not them. But decades of them hurting you and it being an illness doesn't mean that you can't take care of you, too. So I had to shut her out, it worked for me, but it's also so hard. It's easy to want to numb it. But I've been numbing for years, even while I am learning in therapy to forge forward and work through it. I promise it's much easier to deal with it, to hold yourself and learn how to move past the pain, while sober. Not that I have a lot of experience haha but everyone is really, really and truly right: drinking will not help. It will prolong and make it worse. Every time you pick up a drink you reinforce this ugly little idea that you are not able to push forward and feel better. You are, I promise! God didn't kill your brother or my partner, God didn't make my mother do horrific things, God didn't make some puke rape me, God is just a part of me, a part of my life force that helps me find the better way to move past it and accept it. The world can be really hard but it can also be beautiful and I know you know that. I don't understand God as a person who is conducting things and fell down on the job and failed me or decided to stick it to me out of vengeance. My understanding is that God is a life force personal to me and to each person on this planet to guide us to a larger love and help us to develop it.
The serenity prayer is really wise. Accepting what we can't change can be really hard, and for me I have a therapist who helps me with that. Kicking the booze has made that so so much easier. But it doesn't passively change, I have to unpack it. You are a wonderful and sparkly person and you don't need to be in pain. You can't change the past but you can change today and tomorrow today will be the past and you can create a foundation with it. Also most of these things are not anything you did! Anything you did do you can accept, forgive yourself for, and all you can do is when you're ready, make amends and move on. If it doesn't fix it it's not in your control. What you have is today.
I hope you choose to stay sober and do whatever can work for you: whether it's coming here, getting a therapist, getting outside, whatever it is for you that can help. There were good suggestions here. I just want you to know you're not alone.
xoxoxoxox
B
Kgirl I feel you so much. I don't know how to pour out how much and why I understand you while typing on an iPad but let me start by saying your stuff is so hard and so sad. It really is. I think my substance abuse really took off at age 25 when my partner of 5 years committed suicide and I was blamed for it for breaking up with him at a really hard time in his life: when his father had just died and he was struggling with alcoholism. I had my reasons but he was perfectly wonderful person who I was extremely close with. I have issues from sexual assault in my late teens, abuse as a child that I know now would have landed my parents in jail or certainly had me taken away if it had gone reported, and the only person in my life who was a light was an aunt who I lived with on and off - she had a long demise from extremely early dementia which culminated and killed her in 2013. Then in 2014 one of my best friends killed herself. I don't talk to my mother after a long trip to the bottom that culminated last fall, nearing on a year soon. She came to visit for a holiday and I'd go back to my gf's house at night (she couldn't afford a hotel so I gave her my one bedroom apartment while she was visiting and she kicked me out of it at one point because she didn't like my dish drainer, mental illness is something else), and would get obliviated alone because my gf wasn't there, was visiting her family out of state. I know because I have a good therapist that you can't fix people, they hurt and it's the illness: not them. But decades of them hurting you and it being an illness doesn't mean that you can't take care of you, too. So I had to shut her out, it worked for me, but it's also so hard. It's easy to want to numb it. But I've been numbing for years, even while I am learning in therapy to forge forward and work through it. I promise it's much easier to deal with it, to hold yourself and learn how to move past the pain, while sober. Not that I have a lot of experience haha but everyone is really, really and truly right: drinking will not help. It will prolong and make it worse. Every time you pick up a drink you reinforce this ugly little idea that you are not able to push forward and feel better. You are, I promise! God didn't kill your brother or my partner, God didn't make my mother do horrific things, God didn't make some puke rape me, God is just a part of me, a part of my life force that helps me find the better way to move past it and accept it. The world can be really hard but it can also be beautiful and I know you know that. I don't understand God as a person who is conducting things and fell down on the job and failed me or decided to stick it to me out of vengeance. My understanding is that God is a life force personal to me and to each person on this planet to guide us to a larger love and help us to develop it.
The serenity prayer is really wise. Accepting what we can't change can be really hard, and for me I have a therapist who helps me with that. Kicking the booze has made that so so much easier. But it doesn't passively change, I have to unpack it. You are a wonderful and sparkly person and you don't need to be in pain. You can't change the past but you can change today and tomorrow today will be the past and you can create a foundation with it. Also most of these things are not anything you did! Anything you did do you can accept, forgive yourself for, and all you can do is when you're ready, make amends and move on. If it doesn't fix it it's not in your control. What you have is today.
I hope you choose to stay sober and do whatever can work for you: whether it's coming here, getting a therapist, getting outside, whatever it is for you that can help. There were good suggestions here. I just want you to know you're not alone.
xoxoxoxox
B
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Oh bexxed what a fabulous post just what I needed to read right now and am sure it will give comfort and inspiration to Kgirl. You're a rock star!
Thank you everyone for your words of support as always pleased to see you're all coping well.
Elicia am a bit worried about your comment re the weather matching your mood. Are you ok? Pm me if you need to share privately otherwise I am sure everyone here is rooting for you and would be glad to help in any way they can.
Just off to AA meeting now, catch y'all later. Elle❤️
Thank you everyone for your words of support as always pleased to see you're all coping well.
Elicia am a bit worried about your comment re the weather matching your mood. Are you ok? Pm me if you need to share privately otherwise I am sure everyone here is rooting for you and would be glad to help in any way they can.
Just off to AA meeting now, catch y'all later. Elle❤️
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by bexxed
I'm drinking coffee so a little more awake now. I took the picture but can't load it because it's too big and I don't know how to make it smaller. :/ anyway it makes me happy to have good coffee in my room.
Kgirl I feel you so much. I don't know how to pour out how much and why I understand you while typing on an iPad but let me start by saying your stuff is so hard and so sad. It really is. I think my substance abuse really took off at age 25 when my partner of 5 years committed suicide and I was blamed for it for breaking up with him at a really hard time in his life: when his father had just died and he was struggling with alcoholism. I had my reasons but he was perfectly wonderful person who I was extremely close with. I have issues from sexual assault in my late teens, abuse as a child that I know now would have landed my parents in jail or certainly had me taken away if it had gone reported, and the only person in my life who was a light was an aunt who I lived with on and off - she had a long demise from extremely early dementia which culminated and killed her in 2013. Then in 2014 one of my best friends killed herself. I don't talk to my mother after a long trip to the bottom that culminated last fall, nearing on a year soon. She came to visit for a holiday and I'd go back to my gf's house at night (she couldn't afford a hotel so I gave her my one bedroom apartment while she was visiting and she kicked me out of it at one point because she didn't like my dish drainer, mental illness is something else), and would get obliviated alone because my gf wasn't there, was visiting her family out of state. I know because I have a good therapist that you can't fix people, they hurt and it's the illness: not them. But decades of them hurting you and it being an illness doesn't mean that you can't take care of you, too. So I had to shut her out, it worked for me, but it's also so hard. It's easy to want to numb it. But I've been numbing for years, even while I am learning in therapy to forge forward and work through it. I promise it's much easier to deal with it, to hold yourself and learn how to move past the pain, while sober. Not that I have a lot of experience haha but everyone is really, really and truly right: drinking will not help. It will prolong and make it worse. Every time you pick up a drink you reinforce this ugly little idea that you are not able to push forward and feel better. You are, I promise! God didn't kill your brother or my partner, God didn't make my mother do horrific things, God didn't make some puke rape me, God is just a part of me, a part of my life force that helps me find the better way to move past it and accept it. The world can be really hard but it can also be beautiful and I know you know that. I don't understand God as a person who is conducting things and fell down on the job and failed me or decided to stick it to me out of vengeance. My understanding is that God is a life force personal to me and to each person on this planet to guide us to a larger love and help us to develop it.
The serenity prayer is really wise. Accepting what we can't change can be really hard, and for me I have a therapist who helps me with that. Kicking the booze has made that so so much easier. But it doesn't passively change, I have to unpack it. You are a wonderful and sparkly person and you don't need to be in pain. You can't change the past but you can change today and tomorrow today will be the past and you can create a foundation with it. Also most of these things are not anything you did! Anything you did do you can accept, forgive yourself for, and all you can do is when you're ready, make amends and move on. If it doesn't fix it it's not in your control. What you have is today.
I hope you choose to stay sober and do whatever can work for you: whether it's coming here, getting a therapist, getting outside, whatever it is for you that can help. There were good suggestions here. I just want you to know you're not alone.
xoxoxoxox
B
Kgirl I feel you so much. I don't know how to pour out how much and why I understand you while typing on an iPad but let me start by saying your stuff is so hard and so sad. It really is. I think my substance abuse really took off at age 25 when my partner of 5 years committed suicide and I was blamed for it for breaking up with him at a really hard time in his life: when his father had just died and he was struggling with alcoholism. I had my reasons but he was perfectly wonderful person who I was extremely close with. I have issues from sexual assault in my late teens, abuse as a child that I know now would have landed my parents in jail or certainly had me taken away if it had gone reported, and the only person in my life who was a light was an aunt who I lived with on and off - she had a long demise from extremely early dementia which culminated and killed her in 2013. Then in 2014 one of my best friends killed herself. I don't talk to my mother after a long trip to the bottom that culminated last fall, nearing on a year soon. She came to visit for a holiday and I'd go back to my gf's house at night (she couldn't afford a hotel so I gave her my one bedroom apartment while she was visiting and she kicked me out of it at one point because she didn't like my dish drainer, mental illness is something else), and would get obliviated alone because my gf wasn't there, was visiting her family out of state. I know because I have a good therapist that you can't fix people, they hurt and it's the illness: not them. But decades of them hurting you and it being an illness doesn't mean that you can't take care of you, too. So I had to shut her out, it worked for me, but it's also so hard. It's easy to want to numb it. But I've been numbing for years, even while I am learning in therapy to forge forward and work through it. I promise it's much easier to deal with it, to hold yourself and learn how to move past the pain, while sober. Not that I have a lot of experience haha but everyone is really, really and truly right: drinking will not help. It will prolong and make it worse. Every time you pick up a drink you reinforce this ugly little idea that you are not able to push forward and feel better. You are, I promise! God didn't kill your brother or my partner, God didn't make my mother do horrific things, God didn't make some puke rape me, God is just a part of me, a part of my life force that helps me find the better way to move past it and accept it. The world can be really hard but it can also be beautiful and I know you know that. I don't understand God as a person who is conducting things and fell down on the job and failed me or decided to stick it to me out of vengeance. My understanding is that God is a life force personal to me and to each person on this planet to guide us to a larger love and help us to develop it.
The serenity prayer is really wise. Accepting what we can't change can be really hard, and for me I have a therapist who helps me with that. Kicking the booze has made that so so much easier. But it doesn't passively change, I have to unpack it. You are a wonderful and sparkly person and you don't need to be in pain. You can't change the past but you can change today and tomorrow today will be the past and you can create a foundation with it. Also most of these things are not anything you did! Anything you did do you can accept, forgive yourself for, and all you can do is when you're ready, make amends and move on. If it doesn't fix it it's not in your control. What you have is today.
I hope you choose to stay sober and do whatever can work for you: whether it's coming here, getting a therapist, getting outside, whatever it is for you that can help. There were good suggestions here. I just want you to know you're not alone.
xoxoxoxox
B
And then I come home and check in with SR and find this beautiful note from you, reminding me that God does not hate me. And I know now that I got off the beaten path, I got really mad at God and I felt betrayed and I didn't understand.
I don't k ow that I fully understand why or will ever but what I do know is I need to connect again with God. That I need him, because me alone in this fight is not going to work.
Tomorrow, I am going to find a therapist and see if I can't find ways to deal with my anxiety.
Thank you everyone. I really love this group.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Thanks for asking, Elle, but I'm okay. Just feeling mellow. I love sitting on my screened-in porch in the rain. If it wasn't raining is probably feel like I should be accomplishing something so it's all good. Glad you are feeling better today!!
((((Bexxed)))) and ((((Kgirl)))). God bless both of you. Seeing all your struggles in print makes mine seem so trivial in comparison. Thank you both for sharing. Just goes to show how much damage we can do to ourselves by "bottling up" (pun intended) our emotions. Thinking of you both and sending actual love and virtual hugs to you....
((((Bexxed)))) and ((((Kgirl)))). God bless both of you. Seeing all your struggles in print makes mine seem so trivial in comparison. Thank you both for sharing. Just goes to show how much damage we can do to ourselves by "bottling up" (pun intended) our emotions. Thinking of you both and sending actual love and virtual hugs to you....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by Quincy
Good morning class. Hope all is well.
Kgirl. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. Have you ever tried Mindful Meditation? I took a class on it at the University and it really helped. The instructor said the reason she got into it and became an instructor was because of her anxiety.
Like most things (at least for me) it didn't have much of an effect until we were six weeks into the course, but by then it was working great. Once you become "practiced" it's an amazing tool and can be done anytime anywhere and even taking 5 minutes in the middle of a anxious time can be like a reset button.
Elle. Glad you are feeling good today and are not peeking. If the stove is red hot do you touch it to see if it's hot?
Kgirl. I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. Have you ever tried Mindful Meditation? I took a class on it at the University and it really helped. The instructor said the reason she got into it and became an instructor was because of her anxiety.
Like most things (at least for me) it didn't have much of an effect until we were six weeks into the course, but by then it was working great. Once you become "practiced" it's an amazing tool and can be done anytime anywhere and even taking 5 minutes in the middle of a anxious time can be like a reset button.
Elle. Glad you are feeling good today and are not peeking. If the stove is red hot do you touch it to see if it's hot?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Morning everyone I get my laptop back today YAY!! . Have really missed it - Tablets are great, but typing on them is slow and irritating.
Hope you all had a good weekend? Quiet and sober one here, but that's OK - saved money on both counts.
Keep those Shields UP and have a great sober day x Z x
I get my laptop back today YAY!! . Have really missed it - Tablets are great, but typing on them is slow and irritating.Hope you all had a good weekend? Quiet and sober one here, but that's OK - saved money on both counts.
Keep those Shields UP and have a great sober day x Z x
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Zanna- glad your laptop is back! Enjoy your day in the UK. (it's the UK, right?) Mine is ending late in the US.
Elicia- sitting in a screened in porch sounds lovely. Love and virtual hugs "rightbackatcha". <3
Kgirl- I'm glad you had a good service at church. For all my talk, I don't actually even go to church lol, I can't find a religion that completely does it for me so I guess that makes me agnostic. :p And I'm really glad you're feeling better.
Elle- hope your meeting was good!
My visit with my family was wonderful. They are great. I don't know them very well at all, since I haven't seen them since I was a kid really, and never on their turf. So it was kind of like getting to know them. They all drink and that was not that awkward, which means it was a little awkward. I just said I wasn't drinking. Not gonna lie, I actually wanted to drink a couple times, just because they are so happy and normal with it. My uncle actually makes wine and cider and apparently it's a big part of their life, but they don't seem to have problems at all. Sigh. Normies. Had to remind myself that I'm not one. I hadn't thought anyone would be drinking at all. My cousins want to meet me for dinner this week at a brewery and I'm going to have to not let that happen, or have a plan for it... but no. I'm just gonna skip it. Being out of town, still "wishing/wanting" to be "normal", being tired... bad combo. I'm working a lot so I think no one expects that I will be able to, really.
That was a small part of the visit though. Most of it was really great, and overwhelmingly I was just very happy to be sober and able to connect with great people I remember so fondly, and recharge that fondness. They all drank one or two beers. And, of course I kept mental notes. :headbang
Going to sleep now. Hope everyone is having a great sober night/day!
Elicia- sitting in a screened in porch sounds lovely. Love and virtual hugs "rightbackatcha". <3
Kgirl- I'm glad you had a good service at church. For all my talk, I don't actually even go to church lol, I can't find a religion that completely does it for me so I guess that makes me agnostic. :p And I'm really glad you're feeling better.
Elle- hope your meeting was good!
My visit with my family was wonderful. They are great. I don't know them very well at all, since I haven't seen them since I was a kid really, and never on their turf. So it was kind of like getting to know them. They all drink and that was not that awkward, which means it was a little awkward. I just said I wasn't drinking. Not gonna lie, I actually wanted to drink a couple times, just because they are so happy and normal with it. My uncle actually makes wine and cider and apparently it's a big part of their life, but they don't seem to have problems at all. Sigh. Normies. Had to remind myself that I'm not one. I hadn't thought anyone would be drinking at all. My cousins want to meet me for dinner this week at a brewery and I'm going to have to not let that happen, or have a plan for it... but no. I'm just gonna skip it. Being out of town, still "wishing/wanting" to be "normal", being tired... bad combo. I'm working a lot so I think no one expects that I will be able to, really.
That was a small part of the visit though. Most of it was really great, and overwhelmingly I was just very happy to be sober and able to connect with great people I remember so fondly, and recharge that fondness. They all drank one or two beers. And, of course I kept mental notes. :headbang
Going to sleep now. Hope everyone is having a great sober night/day!
Woop Woop Woop - Can you tell? lol x x x x x PS Best BUZZ in the world Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Morning class, glad to see you all still here, glad you got your laptop back zana no more being timed out on long messages, happened to me a million times! Bexxed I know exactly what you mean about keeping out count on other peoples drinking - I went to a friends for dinner recently and duly noted she drank at least 14 units! She's a heavy drinker but don't think she is one of us...
Bit stunned in my tracks last night as received a message from my ex partners ex mother in law (although I think it's probably his ex wife) telling me that he has got married... Good job I already knew as it was a very short and to the point message. Being the alcoholic that I am, I spent ages trying to work out her motivation, was it out of malice or kindness? In the end I decided it doesn't matter and just responded with kindness and feined indifference, not interested in the lets be bitchy exes and club together in bitterness thing. Did throw me tho - momentarily.
I need to stop glancing backwards and live in the now with my eyes cast forward, let's see if I can do it just for today.
Keep on rocking gang and keep on posting.
Elle ❤️
Bit stunned in my tracks last night as received a message from my ex partners ex mother in law (although I think it's probably his ex wife) telling me that he has got married... Good job I already knew as it was a very short and to the point message. Being the alcoholic that I am, I spent ages trying to work out her motivation, was it out of malice or kindness? In the end I decided it doesn't matter and just responded with kindness and feined indifference, not interested in the lets be bitchy exes and club together in bitterness thing. Did throw me tho - momentarily.
I need to stop glancing backwards and live in the now with my eyes cast forward, let's see if I can do it just for today.
Keep on rocking gang and keep on posting.
Elle ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Good morning all,
Very powerful posts..
Elle..I'm so glad you are feeling in a better place and not peeking..great strength!
Elicits..I love a rainy day here and there �� Hope you enjoyed it!!
Kgirl and bexxed...wow...lots to think about....I have lots of crap in my history as well...alcoholic mother , crazy brother who lives 10 minutes away and I don't see, lots of other junk too. It is hard and painful to think about it but we know that drinking only makes it worse. My heart and hugs to you guys xoxo. Wishing you a peaceful day...
Quincy,...one is f my best friends swears by mindfulness...I always say I would like to look into it but never follow through...
Hope the A team has a sober Monday
Very powerful posts..
Elle..I'm so glad you are feeling in a better place and not peeking..great strength!
Elicits..I love a rainy day here and there �� Hope you enjoyed it!!
Kgirl and bexxed...wow...lots to think about....I have lots of crap in my history as well...alcoholic mother , crazy brother who lives 10 minutes away and I don't see, lots of other junk too. It is hard and painful to think about it but we know that drinking only makes it worse. My heart and hugs to you guys xoxo. Wishing you a peaceful day...
Quincy,...one is f my best friends swears by mindfulness...I always say I would like to look into it but never follow through...
Hope the A team has a sober Monday
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by Elle126
Morning class, glad to see you all still here, glad you got your laptop back zana no more being timed out on long messages, happened to me a million times! Bexxed I know exactly what you mean about keeping out count on other peoples drinking - I went to a friends for dinner recently and duly noted she drank at least 14 units! She's a heavy drinker but don't think she is one of us...
Bit stunned in my tracks last night as received a message from my ex partners ex mother in law (although I think it's probably his ex wife) telling me that he has got married... Good job I already knew as it was a very short and to the point message. Being the alcoholic that I am, I spent ages trying to work out her motivation, was it out of malice or kindness? In the end I decided it doesn't matter and just responded with kindness and feined indifference, not interested in the lets be bitchy exes and club together in bitterness thing. Did throw me tho - momentarily.
I need to stop glancing backwards and live in the now with my eyes cast forward, let's see if I can do it just for today.
Keep on rocking gang and keep on posting.
Elle ❤️
Bit stunned in my tracks last night as received a message from my ex partners ex mother in law (although I think it's probably his ex wife) telling me that he has got married... Good job I already knew as it was a very short and to the point message. Being the alcoholic that I am, I spent ages trying to work out her motivation, was it out of malice or kindness? In the end I decided it doesn't matter and just responded with kindness and feined indifference, not interested in the lets be bitchy exes and club together in bitterness thing. Did throw me tho - momentarily.
I need to stop glancing backwards and live in the now with my eyes cast forward, let's see if I can do it just for today.
Keep on rocking gang and keep on posting.
Elle ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Originally Posted by Treebeard
Made it to a month. Thanks, everybody, for reading my posts.
Congratulations, treebeard!!!
And Elle: thanks for the reminder, we don't live in the past and we don't keep resentments. Live for today!!!
Off to work a little tired: have a great day everyone!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
Well done treebeard yey!!! One month fantastic. Well done you. Yes Zanna my ex has left a lot of pain in his wake. He has a 20 yr old son who has not spoken to him in 6yrs since he left to live with me and he has a 13 yr old who is displaying behavioural problems who idolises his dad. Don't know how he's reacted to his father moving to Canada. However that's not my problem and none of my business... Poor kids.
Back from meeting now gonna start trawling through paperwork - weird being a responsible adult ha ha X
Back from meeting now gonna start trawling through paperwork - weird being a responsible adult ha ha X
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