Mish

Day 8. Super busy at work. Will catch up on all the posts in my lunch hour xxxx

immri

Hi guys, bit of a late check in for me had to pick up my blood test results. Mostly all fine, just 2 minor abnormalities that look like vitamin B deficiencies and that i'm not absorbing some of my nutrients - need more protein in my diet apparently, which isn't surprising if I look at what i've been eating lately. Anyway, all good, can finally put that out of my mind and tackle the mountain of work I couldn't concentrate on before

CaseyW

Great to see so many make it through tough times tonight without drinking. Proud of all of us!

I'm tired. Not going to respond to everyone individually. My apologies for that. Work was so so so slow for most of the night but I got a fantastic table 30 minutes before close that literally quadrupled the amount of money I was taking home. So that was nice. But it also kept me there late. Going to do my daily journal and then put on tonight's Game of Thrones and crash. Talk to you all in the morning.

Bat-immri, where are you? (EDITED: Ha! There you are! So glad you got those test results out of the way. Have a wonderful day!)

immri

Sleep well Casey, glad I could never just disappear unnoticed from you guys thats good for me!

Hope your busy day goes well Mish!

Pelagic263

Up at 3:30 this morning. I think it means I should move to Europe because I'm on Greenwich time already.

Thirteenth I'm no expert on quitting, obviously. But can you commit to one day? We can revisit the situation tomorrow. Maybe you're thinking of a titanic commitment, which it is in the long run, but how about on day at a time? Might as well jump.

Rah, day 2 right? We can do this.

Missy7 it sounds like you've been very careful at work. I hope things go smoothly.

Bobbieka, thanks. I'm really tired of hurting people who put trust in me. My wife's first husband died on the operating table after a shortened life of heavy drink and smoking. She says she won't bury a second husband--meaning she'll have to leave first. Who could blame her?

A great day/evening to all of you. You people rock.

Fabela

Hello, my name is Liz and I'm an idiot.

On Saturday I was having a life or death moment, and I acted on it by drinking, having a self pity party of one. Of course that solves nothing, and I lashed out to the people I have come to cherish and love so much. I want to apologize to each and every one of you, but especially to Dee, who was very disappointed in me. I understand that very well, and I am so sorry.

One of the things that has troubled me lately is the fact that some people would call me an alcoholic, and I have struggled with that. I have made excuses, tried to convince myself that I am not, but now I have finally realized that it doesn't really matter what I or anyone else will call me, as long as I make the decision to quit drinking. I managed to get to day 37 before I jumped off the wagon, and even though I still have problems committing to the idea of FOREVER, I have at least given myself three months. I can do that. And when I get to three months, I am pretty sure that I don't want to go back.

Again, I am sorry, and I humbly ask if I can join you again or if I have burned all my bridges?

rah555

Catching up on posts this morning. Day 2 for me. When I read people's posts I can relate. I see so much of myself in the words. This problem we are struggling with is a complicated one. I have been on this site about 2 years I think. I have started and failed too many times to count. I have learned a lot although it has been slow. I envy others who have been able to stop once and for all and succeeded. I realized this weekend several things have to go hand in hand to be successful. Without addressing underlying issues I will not be successful. Drinking and ultimately binge drinking have become somewhat of s habiit for the last 6-7 years. Before that I did not drink for many years. Life changes and difficult hurtful incidences made me want to escape and now it's a habit. Habits can be changed and the hurt inside must be actively acknowledged and addressed. I am going to come up with an action plan. The next step will be following through on the action plan no matter what. The one thing that bothers me is that my husband does not seem to think there is a major problem. He is my partner in crime. I think he knows I have been struggling, have tried and failed many times. It would be easier if he would actively support and help me. On the other hand, perhaps if I can get ahead of this he will come around too. I am so thankful that he and I haven't found ourselves in jail or dead. I don't want to take those chances anymore. The bottom line is right now I need to worry about me, focus on me.

LoftyIdeals

Good morning, all!

Pelagic, I am awake right with you and have been since around 4 am. Cingrats on day 2. I am on day 6 today, and am reminded of the sleep pattern disruption of early sobriety.

Fabela, we all have our emorional moments on SR, sometimes to the point of desperation. The second paragraph of your post seems like an epiphany to me. It does not matter what anyone else calls us, or even what we call ourselves. It doesn't matter hwether we believe this to be a disease, or just slovenly living. What matters is that we recognize that drinking is not a good fit for us, and in that realization, we act by refraining from drinking alcohol. And, wisdom and experience shows us that we only have to do that today, each day. Forever is too long a time to fathom, and plays to our frailties. But, we can just not drink today.

I am only on Day 6 today, but have felt physically better each day. I've been all over the full gamut of emotions in the last 24 hrs, but I didn't drink, and today, awoke with a sense of inner peace, despite having real issues going on in my life. It proves that drinking solves nothing, but can certainly perpetuate and amplify misery! Welcome back, Fabela. I look forward to proceeding in sobriety alongside you and all the other fine people on this thread.

So, I've had my coffee, the birds are chirping as the sun begins to break. And, now, my eyes grow tired. Maybe I'll lay my head back down for a minute.

Mish

Hahaha....sorry Apple, good sleep is no longer no matter how old they get. I have two girls 20 & 17 and two boys 10 & 8. Each one poses a unique set of challenges for me and alas I find a good nights sleep a long forgotten memory. I wouldn't be without them though......the sleep deprivation is well and truly worth it.

Fabela

Thanks, Lofty. Hope you get some sleep.

LoftyIdeals

Rah, I share in your dilemma. My DW also elects not to recognize my struggle and need for sobriety. It has put my marriage in a precarious position more than once. She and I both come from families with extended alcoholism. I have recognized this trait in myself for over 30 years and have attempted on multiple occasions to face it head on. Although my track record speaks for itself when I say I am on day 6, I am a better man for having tried and even for having failed. I have learned a lot about myself and others and this thing we call addiction. I've chosen to not bury my head in the sand about my addictions, as its no longer in my nature to do so, even when I am drinking. I want a life woth living. Whats more, now that my kids appproach adulthood, I am even more so mindful of this legacy of addiction they've inherited from both myself and my DW, and I regret the alcohlic household they have grown up in. I am in contemplation over what to do about that. Just yesterday, we had hours of screaming at each other that included my daughter, and a lot of hurtful things were said by each of us. My wife came right out and said she knows I can control my drinking, and sometimes choose not to. After more than 20 years of this cycle, you'd think she would know better, but the reality is that if I choose to stop, she must look herself in the mirror and eventually face her own realities. Oddly, I awoke in a state of peace about this. God will show me the next right step to take for the good of all of us.

I share your dilemma, and you've reminded me to dig out my book, "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" and re-read it.

Mish

Awwww thanks for thinking of me lovely. It went quick! Sitting on the couch now with the dog. Good to see you're still with us Darling Fab. Sweet dreams Casey.
Day 8 done. xxx

Dee74

Just a qualification - I was disappointed in the post, not in you - there's a difference

I knew where the post was coming from Liz - welcome back

D

Bobbieka

Glad you're here Fabela. I don't think we have bridges, so none burned. So glad you're here, Liz.

okay, I think we need a support group for parents of 17-20 year old girls.

Have a super Monday, peeps! Btw, Blues won yesterday. Yay!

Bobbieka

Mish, I love seeing your posts. Those hugs make me smile every time.

forabetterlife

Agreed on both counts Bobbie!

Starting day 9, heading to work, feeling good. Every day really does get better.

Keep going everyone , no matter what day you're on

strategery

Congratulations to Purplprks on 2 months today!* To celebrate, we have a purple ombre cake! Enjoy!


*Purplprks had requested for a cake to be posted here to celebrate 2 months.

LoftyIdeals

Congrats to purplprks! 2 months is awesome!

Mish

Love it Strat. Congrats Purplprks xxx

samantha14

Good morning!! Day four here and every day I wake up feeling better and better!! Yesterday I actually sat down and wrote out "my story"....there were a lot of tears and anger that spilled out onto those pages but today I feel lighter somehow.....I wish I had taken the advice of my therapist long ago...but I guess we do what we can when we are ready

I work an afternoon shift today which is weird for me so just taking it easy this morning....going to get Charlie out for a rainy morning walk soon

Purplprks - Congratulations on 2 months!!

Bobbie - I love the support group idea...lol!! My poor little thing broke up with her boyfriend last night and today is a mess....it makes my heart hurt

Fabela - welcome back!! I am so glad you are here!!

Thinking of everyone here today!!