beerbgone

Wishing everyone a great day!

LillianGish

Hi Fabela,
I'm so familiar with this question. It was usually the reason I went back to trying to moderately drink because I wasn't convinced I was an alcoholic. I'm calling it alcoholism now. At the end of the day, my drinking was a huge problem in my life and that's all that matters to me.

In my September 2013 class, we had this whole discussion on the difference between alcoholics and heavy drinkers. Dee counseled that a label is really immaterial. He was right as usual!

Welcome back and I do hope you're feeling better.

LillianGish

Yes! Can we make it 14 - 20? I have two daughters in this age bracket. There's a lot of drama in our home.

And I haven't had 8 hours of straight sleep since 1999. Only 10 more years to go!

Hope everyone has a stunning Monday.

Fabela

Thanks, LG. I do feel better.

LillianGish

I have never seen a purple cake before!!!

Congratulations Purplprks ~ 60 days is an achievement and you do rock!

Pelagic263

Yes , congrats on 60 days Purplprks! Quietly gettin' it done. When do we get a piece of your cake?

I hope Sam won't mind, but her "The Story of Sam" thread is definitely worth a read. The stories I read here on SR are inspiring, and Sam's is definitely that. The courage and perseverance here is humbling to someone like me who had it pretty easy growing up and managed to throw most of it away anyway. Her story is in the Newcomers section.

Welcome back Fabela! And a continued good day to all!

CaseyW

Holy geez. I didn't go to bed until 2:30 or so but still surprised I slept in so late. I guess it is only nine hours sleep, so that's not too crazy. Anyways, I didn't have anything to do this morning so no big deal.

Work tonight. Nothing else going on for me today.

Hope your day/my night went well, immri. Once again, glad you got those test results back. Sounds like all easily fixable stuff. I've always read that vitamin B deficiencies are very common in heavy drinkers but usually go away within a month or two of quitting drinking. Don't know if your doctor said the same.

Sorry you didn't sleep well but glad you decided to check in here with that extra time, Pelagic263. Love the new avatar, though I'll probably confuse you with Keets at some point. Wishing you a wonderful and sober day today.

Thank you for the apology, Fabela. I think a three month commitment to sobriety is a great place to start.

I know a plan of action has been necessary for my own recovery, rah555. Good to see you thinking this through. While it would be wonderful for your husband to stop drinking too, you are absolutely right that your sobriety is not contingent on his. Put your recovery first today, emphasis on "your". Wishing you the best.

Hope today is a smoother one for you, LoftyIdeals. Proud of you for not turning to the bottle yesterday. Keep on doing the next right thing today, it's never too early to start making those living amends.

I'm beginning to think that maybe one of the reasons I sleep so well and so late is because I don't have (and assuming I never will have at this point) kids. Sweet dreams, Mish!

Good morning, Bobbieka! I know your son is coming home Friday--how much longer is your husband going to be gone? Congrats on the win--knowing you has given me a reason to actually glance over the hockey scores.

Great job on day 9, forabetterlife. Remember we're here if those thoughts or plans of drinking start creeping in--you did awesome yesterday, by the way. I was following along on my phone at work even when I couldn't respond. Just making sure because you never said it out right--the can of beer in your fridge/freezer has been thrown out, right? Sorry, I'm a worry wort.

Two months is amazing, Purplrks!

There's something very cathartic in getting those stories out, isn't there, samantha14? I always check in here first but I am looking forward to reading your story next. Congrats on day four!

And a great day to you too, beerbgone! So glad you're back with us.

Yep, Dee is absolutely right about the label not mattering, LillianGish. Personally, I use the word "addict" in here a lot more than I do "alcoholic" because alcohol was simply my drug of choice but a drug nonetheless. But the word doesn't matter--the key for me is accepting that my life is better without alcohol in it. And always will be.

Lot of great sobriety in here this morning but I'd still love to hear from anyone who hasn't checked in yet. Build up those accountability muscles, get back in here! This is a better way of life.

Wishing everyone a safe and sober Monday. Remember you don't have to take that first drink no matter what today.

CaseyW

Uh oh! I think we may have a new contender as most chatterbox-y class. The new May 2016 class is already over 100 posts barely a day and a half in. I know it's not a competition...but it is! Get to talking everyone!

Nah, just kidding. Cool thread to read through. Good for me to remember where it all starts as I get further and further from my day one.

I also highly suggest reading samantha14's story. Powerful stuff there. Thanks again for sharing! Very brave of you.

CaseyW

And Missy7--I hope your work day goes OK. Please check in with us when you can. You're in my thoughts today!

rah555

I saw this post today on FB that said "Sometimes all you can do is smile. Move on with your day, hold back the tears and pretend you're okay." That is how I feel today. I am here at work, dressed up nice, looking conservative, feeling like a whirley tirley ocean inside. I keep thinking "how did I get here?" My whole life I feel like I've been running from the past. I think it's catching up with me and I feel tired. When I read the book "Addiction & Recovery for Dummies" I have been exhibiting addictive behavior in many areas of my life. First eating...got gastric bypass to address. Next drinking...we know how that goes. Next is working. For many many years I have been nutso about work. I work a lot and have tried hard to excel. By all accounts work is going well. For years I have been carrying alot of baggage from past hurts, transgressions, broken relationships. Anyway, I am tired. I feel so empty inside. I find myself wondering what life is all about. I feel so unfulfilled and disconnected. On the other hand I have much to be thankful for...nice apt; work in a nice office; have a hubby, 2 daughters, one granddaughter, 3 puppies, parents and a sister, earn good money, am doing well financially. So what is wrong with me?? Broken inside I guess.

samantha14

I have also struggled with the label "alcoholic" I always wanted to believe that once I just figured out all my problems that I could become a normal drinker. But label or not I now know that is not true. The things from my past may often be why I take the first drink but the many more that follow is just me not being able to control my addiction.....just my thoughts anyways

Pelagic and everyone else who took the time to read my story - thank you for the comments. It was a scary thing hitting the post button but well worth it for the little bit of freedom I feel today.

forabetterlife

Thanks Casey, I didn't dump it. Being honest. I just threw it under my bed. It was cold by the time I took it out and didn't even want to be tempted. I will tonight now that it's all warm and gross.
Glad you are back fabela. I personally don't like the word alcoholic. It's a loaded word and it doesn't help me. I know I shouldn't drink and that I have an unhealthy relationship with it and that will never change or get better. That's it.

Here's a trigger for me , I'm noticing : well-intentioned posts or other recovery things I read that remind me that slips happen and that I just need to pick myself up and start again. That's helpful when I've already slipped but in day 9 my AV takes it as permission to drink. I noticed it earlier today when I read an article about getting/staying sober. I need to be careful with that.

Still at work but feeling antsy about tonight and not sure why. I'm going to go home and exercise and make a good dinner for my family. It's just a day and just a feeling. It'll pass.

samantha14

Rah - I can completely relate to your post. I have spent most of my life running from my past. And I often feel empty and worthless inside and look for ways to fill the void and find value that are not healthy or wise. I wish I had answers but I am still searching as well. All I can offer is that we can never give up. There is strength inside of all of us, we just have to keep looking. And I don't' think there's anything wrong with being broken - "broken crayons still color"

CaseyW

Rah555--posts like this are why I really encourage you to see a counselor/therapist. A good one can help you with everything you're talking about here. Broken doesn't mean damaged beyond repair. You're already taking a great first step by removing alcohol from the equation. Keep moving forward, one step at a time...

Glad you've realized that controlling your drinking isn't an option, samantha14. I know I've tried off and on for almost 14 years now. My life gets better every day I don't drink poison. It gets worse when I do. I've proven that over and over and over and over again ad nauseam.

If it helps any, I hereby do NOT give you permission to drink today, forabetterlife. It's not OK. By the imaginary power vested in all of us by the Class of March 2016, you are summoned to stay sober today.

And get rid of that can of beer when you get home please. You wouldn't go to sleep with a live grenade under your bed.

Wishing everyone the best. Heading to the grocery store where I'm sure I'll growl at the wine aisle and give it my normal subtle shooting of the middle finger.

Fabela

FABL, good for you for recognizing that trigger. Now you know what you have to do when you read such posts.

Sam, I bet it was difficult to post your story, but I also think that you needed to do it. It's part of the healing process.

rah, we have similar stories, I too have had a gastric bypass and followed that by drinking. Universal coping mechanisms.

Pelagic, are you on day 2 as well? Are you still my sober twin?

I'm checking and rechecking my list of preparations for Saturday's confirmation. I think we need one more cake, but my first instinct is to bake it, and I am trying to minimize the stress on me. I have enough on my plate already. Better order a cake (even though my cake would have been much tastier. )

samantha14

Well I am off to work for a long shift. I absolutely hate back to backs....ugg...but they are much easier to manage sober

I hope everyone has a great night!

Fabela

Good luck, Sam!

I'm off to bed. Night all.

Bobbieka

Went to see my therapist today. Lost 7 pounds (no idea how) blood pressure is down, and she thought I sounded fantastic! Thanks Marchers! You are the reason. Only 2nd time that I've sat in that office and not cried. Yay me!

Surrender2win

Another Day #1 for me.

This will be the third time since last May. I am feeling pretty positive though... third time's a charm, right? It has to be. I can't do this anymore. It will take me a few days to read through all of the posts, but I'm happy to be back. I've missed you all.

Bobbieka

Have missed you too, S2W.