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Class of October 2014 Part 25

Old 01-15-2016, 01:11 PM
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Hi V....Happy Saturday
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Old 01-15-2016, 01:14 PM
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Good morning, v.
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Old 01-15-2016, 01:16 PM
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Hi Mark and Leigh and Conquest.
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:08 PM
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Mornin V!

Just ate some of the best pizza I've ever had for dinner.
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Old 01-15-2016, 05:35 PM
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Details on the pizza please.....
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Old 01-15-2016, 06:22 PM
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NY style thin crust pizza Mark. The place makes their own crumbled sausage. Peppers and garlic, a great sauce. Not too oily and not too salty. Perfect!
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Old 01-15-2016, 06:37 PM
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I'm a big fan of thin crust! Sounds great to me, couldn't find too much around here.
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Old 01-15-2016, 06:44 PM
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We've got a pizza on order too. Hawaiian, my daughter's favorite, therefore we have all learned to appreciate it. I'm looking forward to it.

Today I've just been riding out some mood swings and trying to go easy on myself. I thought my body was ready to ease up on the cravings for caloric foods, and it really was better than it's been, but this afternoon I just had to get down on about 1000 golden oreos. I'm trying not to rush my body to normalize, but part of me is still pretty upset about the situation and thinks I really should be on a strict eating plan with no binges by now. I feel like I have definitely gained enough weight that it's time to stop bingeing, but I realize I'm not the best person to be making those kinds of decisions, so I'm trying to just let my body guide me. I hope it's trustworthy. If I can't normalize on my own, I will have to work with a dietician, and I'd rather not go that route. Frankly, I'm getting tired of having to rely on so many professionals to keep me straight (and even with them around I never seem to stay straight anyway!), so bringing another freakin' doctor onto my "team" would probably make me feel like even more of a loser.

I've felt pretty disappointed in myself lately. While I've had this mess going on, some people I work with have been promoted and started some very cool projects. I was sitting in court the other day with a bunch of accomplished attorneys, and I started feeling pretty crappy because there was a time when I had pretty high hopes for myself. I was smart, educated, and eager to achieve. People told me I would go far. But I'm still a government paralegal, and at this point I really don't have any further career aspirations. Why? Because I'm f-ing crazy. Sometimes I can barely manage the job I have. It wouldn't be fair to an employer or myself to try for something more advanced. My mental health seems to be worsening as I get older, and I have to be realistic about that. Sometimes it just bums me out to think about it, and now sometimes I wonder what's ahead for me and whether a time will come when I won't be able to work. My grandmother was bipolar and eventually got to that point. It's scary, and I really shouldn't let myself get caught up in thinking about it. The point is I'm just disappointed in myself and struggling with acceptance right now.

Anyway, pizza's here!
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Old 01-15-2016, 07:29 PM
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I am now blaming all of you for the fact that I am having pizza tonight.

Briar ~ as you begin to heal and regain strength (physically and mentally), I think your confidence in your future will return. I know it's scary to think that mental health issues are always going to be a problem, but you don't know that. You have excellent medical help, something that your grandmother may not have had available to her.
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Old 01-15-2016, 08:52 PM
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02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
 
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Thanks V. Sorry, I got way further into that than I meant to. I have a bad habit of that. Moving on...

My daughter and I have this on repeat. You can't help but feel a little better with this going on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkCyfBibIbI
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Old 01-15-2016, 09:03 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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No sorrys.... we care about each other.
I may have sounded harsh and I didn't mean to.
I have so much faith in you Briar, as you know. ♥

And kind of ironic that you picked a Meghan Trainor song....that girl has the best body image. An excellent role model I think.

Hope you're feeling better and better Conquest, and that the swelling is going down.

phoebe ~ just saw a pic of your dog on FB, and all I could think was wow, he's allowed on that chair?
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Old 01-15-2016, 09:46 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Perception is a funny thing Briar

To me you are light years away from where you were when you first came to SR. I don;' see disappointment and things getting worse...I see a great overall improvement and I see you actively dealing with your issues, not running away from them

Just wanted to share that perspective

Congrats on 4 months Arbor
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Old 01-16-2016, 05:27 AM
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Good morning gang!

The first few days after surgery can be so tough. I hope this weekend will be a turning point for you Conquest.

At loose ends with no plans today. I know that I need to start getting tax stuff together but may procrastinate on that.

Evolving/changing perception has been interesting these last months. A peeling away of layers. It'll be of interest to find what's really at the tootsie roll center of this tootsie pop.

Coffe now. Gym to come.

Wishing each of you the best day.
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Old 01-16-2016, 05:38 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Gmorning everyone! I'm here, just woozy from meds. My surgery ended up being more extensive than expected so my face is huge. And I'll need to do another, not sure when. I'm in pain, frustrated with the process, and worried about being able to go back to work on Tuesday as planned. So I'm doing my best to put worry aside and rest because there's nothing I can really do about it. And I certainly can't complain about my cute "nurses" at home. Cowboy & Jr. are being very sweet, keeping me fed and entertained when I'm awake. My parents and brother are coming to hang out today too. There's a lot to be thankful for. It just didn't go as smoothly as expected. Grrrrr. And thanks for giving me a private place to vent.

Briar, I just love that song. And I totally admire your strength. Dee nailed it. I know I only get to see a tiny glimpse of you on here, but what I see is determination, perseverance, and a lot of hard work.

I hope everyone's pizzas were as good as I imagine! I may give it a try.
All I'd need to do is chop it into tiny pieces and dump it in the back of my mouth like a baby bird. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Lol

Huge hugs all around
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Old 01-16-2016, 06:03 AM
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Conquest, I've totally been there with the dental surgery and more on the way for 2016, so I get it. Hope you heal quickly. Briar, you have come far. You need to focus on recovery. Career aspirations can also change when you have a family. WTG Arbor! Good morning all.
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Old 01-16-2016, 06:48 AM
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Was a pizza kinda night for everyone. Nice!

Rainy, gloomy day here. But hey, better than snow. It's close to 50 degrees.

Feel better Conquest. You have a great attitude moving forward! I love the idea of accepting that we can't control everything. You can find comfort in just that.

One can worry about the career path too often Briar. Sometimes I find it useful to just be grateful for what I do have. A really good job. Puts food on my table. You have a lot going on so I think your right in that advancement might be too much right now. There's plenty of future work time to be had to be bringing home the bacon. 8)

Have a great weekend guys.
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Old 01-16-2016, 06:50 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Gmorning BD! Thanks for the encouragement. It really does help.

What's everyone got going on this weekend? We've got plans to be lazy and watch football playoffs this afternoon. My team is out so I'm not sure who is playing... Just looking forward to time with family.
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Old 01-16-2016, 06:55 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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And thank you, Arbor! I'm trying to keep a good attitude, taking it hour by hour right now. I hope you and yours have a great start to the weekend.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Conquest View Post
Gmorning everyone! I'm here, just woozy from meds. My surgery ended up being more extensive than expected so my face is huge. And I'll need to do another, not sure when. I'm in pain, frustrated with the process, and worried about being able to go back to work on Tuesday as planned. So I'm doing my best to put worry aside and rest because there's nothing I can really do about it. And I certainly can't complain about my cute "nurses" at home. Cowboy & Jr. are being very sweet, keeping me fed and entertained when I'm awake. My parents and brother are coming to hang out today too. There's a lot to be thankful for. It just didn't go as smoothly as expected. Grrrrr. And thanks for giving me a private place to vent.

Briar, I just love that song. And I totally admire your strength. Dee nailed it. I know I only get to see a tiny glimpse of you on here, but what I see is determination, perseverance, and a lot of hard work.

I hope everyone's pizzas were as good as I imagine! I may give it a try.
All I'd need to do is chop it into tiny pieces and dump it in the back of my mouth like a baby bird. Where there's a will, there's a way, right? Lol

Huge hugs all around

Hope that you are feeling much better soon, Conquest. Dental surgery sounds so painful. My poor husband has had his share of that.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:07 AM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Briar View Post
We've got a pizza on order too. Hawaiian, my daughter's favorite, therefore we have all learned to appreciate it. I'm looking forward to it.

Today I've just been riding out some mood swings and trying to go easy on myself. I thought my body was ready to ease up on the cravings for caloric foods, and it really was better than it's been, but this afternoon I just had to get down on about 1000 golden oreos. I'm trying not to rush my body to normalize, but part of me is still pretty upset about the situation and thinks I really should be on a strict eating plan with no binges by now. I feel like I have definitely gained enough weight that it's time to stop bingeing, but I realize I'm not the best person to be making those kinds of decisions, so I'm trying to just let my body guide me. I hope it's trustworthy. If I can't normalize on my own, I will have to work with a dietician, and I'd rather not go that route. Frankly, I'm getting tired of having to rely on so many professionals to keep me straight (and even with them around I never seem to stay straight anyway!), so bringing another freakin' doctor onto my "team" would probably make me feel like even more of a loser.

I've felt pretty disappointed in myself lately. While I've had this mess going on, some people I work with have been promoted and started some very cool projects. I was sitting in court the other day with a bunch of accomplished attorneys, and I started feeling pretty crappy because there was a time when I had pretty high hopes for myself. I was smart, educated, and eager to achieve. People told me I would go far. But I'm still a government paralegal, and at this point I really don't have any further career aspirations. Why? Because I'm f-ing crazy. Sometimes I can barely manage the job I have. It wouldn't be fair to an employer or myself to try for something more advanced. My mental health seems to be worsening as I get older, and I have to be realistic about that. Sometimes it just bums me out to think about it, and now sometimes I wonder what's ahead for me and whether a time will come when I won't be able to work. My grandmother was bipolar and eventually got to that point. It's scary, and I really shouldn't let myself get caught up in thinking about it. The point is I'm just disappointed in myself and struggling with acceptance right now.

Anyway, pizza's here!
((((Dear and sweet, Briar)))). Hope you can take it 'one battle at a time' and 'one day at a time'. I truly believe that things will normalize for you soon.

You are still smart; you are still educated - no one can take that away from you. Ambition is sure to return when everything else is in balance.


And . . . , girl.
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