Class of December 2015 Pt 3
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Morning class. It's a cold snowy Sunday morning here in the UK and intend to spend the day searching jobsites for work. I was dismissed from a job I loved on Friday after being drunk on the job before Christmas. Totally heartbroken but still sober and on day 23. Still going to at a meeting a day (except Thursdays as there are none local) and have finally plucked up the courage to ring some of the numbers given to me by AA members. So grateful to have found SR too as the welcome, understanding and strength offered by the community here is amazing. Hope you all have a good and sober day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It's real good to see you Toby, sober and staying strong after what happened on Friday. You're going to see this through. Glad you've got the AA folks in your corner. We're right here too if you need a lift.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
I've enjoyed reading through all of your posts this morning and it's lifted me to see how well you are all doing! Also it's nice to see posts from Toby, Sleepydots and Steely, I thought our group was dwindling somewhat but obviously not! :-)
I went to a meeting yesterday morn and then spent the day with my GF and cooked a tasty Vietnamese Pho. It was a really nice day, the polar opposite to how my weekend would have been, had I been drinking and it was better sober in every way! I have a chilled day with the family today, going to watch some football with my Dad today and off to a meeting with my sponsor tonight. It's all good!
Have a brilliant sober weekend friends!
I went to a meeting yesterday morn and then spent the day with my GF and cooked a tasty Vietnamese Pho. It was a really nice day, the polar opposite to how my weekend would have been, had I been drinking and it was better sober in every way! I have a chilled day with the family today, going to watch some football with my Dad today and off to a meeting with my sponsor tonight. It's all good!
Have a brilliant sober weekend friends!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Morning everyone. Day 3 for me 
Dee74: Thanks for all the replies and the links. I didn't post here about my urge that day and perhaps that would have helped. I've identified my 2-4 time at work as being something that triggers me and the AV gets going. I picked up a book on Friday, Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget, and my Art of AVRT book came in the mail as well. I've been reading throughout the weekend and feeling better overall. Although I feel it's justified that my fiancee was mad at me about last Thursday, inside I was mad at her for being mad at me. I felt like I knew I wasn't just going to give up, but for her she thought I was. Took a few days but things are back to normal. Those feelings from our "fight" about me drinking last week made me sick to my stomach. Back were those old feelings and memories of what was. Anyways, here's to a happy booze free weekend. Thanks for reading and hope everyone has an awesome day
Dee74: Thanks for all the replies and the links. I didn't post here about my urge that day and perhaps that would have helped. I've identified my 2-4 time at work as being something that triggers me and the AV gets going. I picked up a book on Friday, Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget, and my Art of AVRT book came in the mail as well. I've been reading throughout the weekend and feeling better overall. Although I feel it's justified that my fiancee was mad at me about last Thursday, inside I was mad at her for being mad at me. I felt like I knew I wasn't just going to give up, but for her she thought I was. Took a few days but things are back to normal. Those feelings from our "fight" about me drinking last week made me sick to my stomach. Back were those old feelings and memories of what was. Anyways, here's to a happy booze free weekend. Thanks for reading and hope everyone has an awesome day
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I think it definitely would have helped Bobby. I remember some nights where I fell asleep at the keyboard, posting and reading, trying desperately not to run down the road to get another bottle.
SR saved me more than once.
I figure we're worth fighting for - so fight with everything you've got.
D
SR saved me more than once.
I figure we're worth fighting for - so fight with everything you've got
.D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It's Monday! Slept in this morning. My mind was awake but the body felt like lead and that's my excuse.
I have a meeting with my counsellor later at which I've decided to open up the "work/anxiety/confidence/perfectionism" box with her. When I made the appointment, that's what was on my mind so I will go through it.
Started reading the Blackout book on Saturday but quickly found it very confronting. Her observations on how feminist empowerment ideas intersect with alcoholic reality ... hmmm. I found myself thinking I needed to read something neutral and come back to it when I feel less challenged. SO there's another box to open later. I switched to Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Body and he put me to sleep last night.
Brach - Vietnamese pho sounds like just what I needed on the weekend. It was Korean not so long ago. Forget the merchandising career and audition for Masterchef!
Have a great week everyone. Great to see everyone!
and that's my excuse. I have a meeting with my counsellor later at which I've decided to open up the "work/anxiety/confidence/perfectionism" box with her. When I made the appointment, that's what was on my mind so I will go through it.
Started reading the Blackout book on Saturday but quickly found it very confronting. Her observations on how feminist empowerment ideas intersect with alcoholic reality ... hmmm. I found myself thinking I needed to read something neutral and come back to it when I feel less challenged. SO there's another box to open later. I switched to Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Body and he put me to sleep last night.
Brach - Vietnamese pho sounds like just what I needed on the weekend. It was Korean not so long ago. Forget the merchandising career and audition for Masterchef!
Have a great week everyone. Great to see everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
Good day folks! 28 days/4 weeks sober today and it feels so good! :-)
That said I had a bit of a rocky spot yesterday when watching the football. My mind started to drift off thinking about some old friends I used to watch the football with - thinking about the good times (forgetting all the bad ones for a moment!) we used to have - thinking how they would probably still be watching the game at the local pub. Euphoric recall is dangerous ground and my mind can be very deceptive, I'm glad I recognised it for what it was and didn't dwell on it for too long. It did make me feel anxious, uneasy and my mind was racing a bit, but thankfully these are tell tale signs something is wrong.
Anyway I took myself away for a bit, read this sight and my Buddhist book and slowed my mind down and got back to the moment and my reality. I then went out with my sponsor to a meeting and talked it through with him and felt much better in a short time.
The reality of that situation is those friends were sick of me and my drinking, I got thrown out of that pub last time I was there as I was so drunk, I would usually have left to go drinking on my own because I was embarrassed about people seeing what I mess I got. I was always depressed, with a bleak outlook and made myself very ill drinking to such excess.
Instead I am sober, happy for the most part ;-) I am in with a chance of getting my life back on track, people enjoy being with me, I can be productive, I can enjoy all sorts of activities and hobbies, I can find some peace! I'm off to another meeting tonight so keeping safe.
Thanks Ms P I've been loving getting back into cooking these past few weeks, especially Asian food; Korean, Vietnamese and a tasty Sichuan hotpot! Good luck with your counsellor.
Have a wonderful sober day everyone and let us know how you are getting on?
That said I had a bit of a rocky spot yesterday when watching the football. My mind started to drift off thinking about some old friends I used to watch the football with - thinking about the good times (forgetting all the bad ones for a moment!) we used to have - thinking how they would probably still be watching the game at the local pub. Euphoric recall is dangerous ground and my mind can be very deceptive, I'm glad I recognised it for what it was and didn't dwell on it for too long. It did make me feel anxious, uneasy and my mind was racing a bit, but thankfully these are tell tale signs something is wrong.
Anyway I took myself away for a bit, read this sight and my Buddhist book and slowed my mind down and got back to the moment and my reality. I then went out with my sponsor to a meeting and talked it through with him and felt much better in a short time.
The reality of that situation is those friends were sick of me and my drinking, I got thrown out of that pub last time I was there as I was so drunk, I would usually have left to go drinking on my own because I was embarrassed about people seeing what I mess I got. I was always depressed, with a bleak outlook and made myself very ill drinking to such excess.
Instead I am sober, happy for the most part ;-) I am in with a chance of getting my life back on track, people enjoy being with me, I can be productive, I can enjoy all sorts of activities and hobbies, I can find some peace! I'm off to another meeting tonight so keeping safe.
Thanks Ms P I've been loving getting back into cooking these past few weeks, especially Asian food; Korean, Vietnamese and a tasty Sichuan hotpot! Good luck with your counsellor.
Have a wonderful sober day everyone and let us know how you are getting on?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Morning. Day 4 checking in.
Already getting prepared for later this afternoon when the AV is going to hit. I've brought my books with me and have some areas to refer to when it hits. I'm also going to post on the site if I need some SR support. Hope everyone has a great day.
Already getting prepared for later this afternoon when the AV is going to hit. I've brought my books with me and have some areas to refer to when it hits. I'm also going to post on the site if I need some SR support. Hope everyone has a great day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Good morning everyone. Ugh Monday. Haha but at least I'm sober. I don't know how I ever did Monday's with a hangover before. Day 24.. Starting low carb diet next week . Thought I'd wait for 30 days. Cuz I knew I'd need sweets to get thru this time. Now I wanna lose weight to look n feel even better for spring/summer. Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 104
Brach - loved your post about the AV and the deceptive mind. I have also been working on seeing these as signs to dig a bit deeper.
I was reading The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion and found this study which supports acknowledging (but not acting on) AV rather than suppressing it:
Funny - the more I avoid things, the worse it gets. But if I can facing the scary things head on I May actually find resolution. I think that perhaps that could be a double-bonus by also building a some self-confidence and self-trust each time I don't run away.
With that BUMOSI, I think it's time to address my resume head-on and get it done (considering I have been putting it off/avoiding it all weekend :P).
Day 43
I was reading The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion and found this study which supports acknowledging (but not acting on) AV rather than suppressing it:
The young Dostoyevsky is said to have challenged his brother to not
think of a white bear, leaving him puzzled and confused. in 1987, Daniel
wegner and colleagues asked students to do the same thought sup-
pression task for 5 minutes, ringing a bell each time they thought of a
white bear as they simultaneously verbalized whatever came to their
minds. Thereafter, this group was asked to intentionaly think of a white
bear and perform the same tasks. (a comparison group was asked to
think of a white bear for the entire 10 minutes.) Not only was the first
group, the suppression group, unable to suppress the thought of white
bears during the first 5 minutes, but this group also thought of white
bears even more during the second 5-minute period than the group
that never suppressed.
This classic study shows that suppression creates
the very preoccupation that it’s directed against. Clinical researchers
speculate that a similar process may underlie psychological disorders
such as posttraumatic stress, depression, and obsessive–compulsive
disorder—the thoughts we push away come back to haunt us.
think of a white bear, leaving him puzzled and confused. in 1987, Daniel
wegner and colleagues asked students to do the same thought sup-
pression task for 5 minutes, ringing a bell each time they thought of a
white bear as they simultaneously verbalized whatever came to their
minds. Thereafter, this group was asked to intentionaly think of a white
bear and perform the same tasks. (a comparison group was asked to
think of a white bear for the entire 10 minutes.) Not only was the first
group, the suppression group, unable to suppress the thought of white
bears during the first 5 minutes, but this group also thought of white
bears even more during the second 5-minute period than the group
that never suppressed.
This classic study shows that suppression creates
the very preoccupation that it’s directed against. Clinical researchers
speculate that a similar process may underlie psychological disorders
such as posttraumatic stress, depression, and obsessive–compulsive
disorder—the thoughts we push away come back to haunt us.
With that BUMOSI, I think it's time to address my resume head-on and get it done (considering I have been putting it off/avoiding it all weekend :P).
Day 43
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
It's very true, there's a saying "whatever you resist persists" in relation to our though patterns. Of course it doesn't mean we need to act on thoughts, but instead acknowledge them, see them for what they are and let them pass. I think it links in well with urge surfing... It's one of many areas I'm working on haha.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Morning everyone.
I had a great session with my counsellor yesterday. I realised that my confidence is strong in certain situations but I still have an underlying sense of "Impostor Syndrome" whenever I have to prove myself and start at square one. Recalling incidents like I've described here before (i.e. where long-term effects of drinking affected my ability to perform / present myself) just worsens the sense that I'm really not good enough and I've been faking it. She told me to go easy on myself with those sorts of specific incidents and give myself 12 months of sobriety and a sober track record before I assess them again. I liked that advice - it helps me move forward and build without an underlying sense of guilt/shame/anxiety.
We talked about doing some work around creating self-confidence, dealing with other people's opinions etc. and I thought to myself - but I've worked through that stuff already - like 8 years ago!
I've realised that personal work I did when drinking I am going to have to do again sober. No matter that I thought I'd nailed it before, those tracks need to be laid on solid sober ground.
The final BUMOSI that was the biggest for me is that I don't have to be perfect just because I'm sober. I have this idea that I have no excuses to fall short of the standards I've set for myself now because I'm sober. Which is just stupid. Soberwoman is doing pretty good, she doesn't have to be Superwoman too.
With that thought - and the good stuff on here about AVs and avoidance - I am signing off for a busy busy Tuesday here.
I had a great session with my counsellor yesterday. I realised that my confidence is strong in certain situations but I still have an underlying sense of "Impostor Syndrome" whenever I have to prove myself and start at square one. Recalling incidents like I've described here before (i.e. where long-term effects of drinking affected my ability to perform / present myself) just worsens the sense that I'm really not good enough and I've been faking it. She told me to go easy on myself with those sorts of specific incidents and give myself 12 months of sobriety and a sober track record before I assess them again. I liked that advice - it helps me move forward and build without an underlying sense of guilt/shame/anxiety.
We talked about doing some work around creating self-confidence, dealing with other people's opinions etc. and I thought to myself - but I've worked through that stuff already - like 8 years ago!
I've realised that personal work I did when drinking I am going to have to do again sober. No matter that I thought I'd nailed it before, those tracks need to be laid on solid sober ground.
The final BUMOSI that was the biggest for me is that I don't have to be perfect just because I'm sober. I have this idea that I have no excuses to fall short of the standards I've set for myself now because I'm sober. Which is just stupid. Soberwoman is doing pretty good, she doesn't have to be Superwoman too.
With that thought - and the good stuff on here about AVs and avoidance - I am signing off for a busy busy Tuesday here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I guess this is my class, I quit at the end of Dec.
Been reading and looking over this site the last few days.
I think I'm gonna fit in ok here, and in time will maybe talk
a bit more about my years of ups n downs and programs
and incarcerations etc.
Might help someone, but first I need to take care of me, and be on solid ground.
I am in a program with groups and education now. I chose to enroll in before any sort court order, as I have some legal issues coming up.
Bout it for today, I am glad I found this place.
Been reading and looking over this site the last few days.
I think I'm gonna fit in ok here, and in time will maybe talk
a bit more about my years of ups n downs and programs
and incarcerations etc.
Might help someone, but first I need to take care of me, and be on solid ground.
I am in a program with groups and education now. I chose to enroll in before any sort court order, as I have some legal issues coming up.
Bout it for today, I am glad I found this place.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado 
The final BUMOSI that was the biggest for me is that I don't have to be perfect just because I'm sober. I have this idea that I have no excuses to fall short of the standards I've set for myself now because I'm sober. Which is just stupid. Soberwoman is doing pretty good, she doesn't have to be Superwoman too.
With that thought - and the good stuff on here about AVs and avoidance - I am signing off for a busy busy Tuesday here.
With that thought - and the good stuff on here about AVs and avoidance - I am signing off for a busy busy Tuesday here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Morning. Day 5 checking in.
Had a very good day yesterday and rode my urge out Instead of fighting it, trying to ignore it, and freaking out last week, I acknowledged it and rode it out. I used what I read about urge surfing, as well as "shifting" via AVRT reading I've been doing. It all helped and I'm another day sober.
Our organization is being "absorbed" by another organization within the year. This means that many people will lose their jobs in a town where opportunities aren't exactly commonplace. Yesterday at a meeting, a senior director opened up about how she was feeling and invited everyone to do the same. It was very refreshing to hear and see how the "higher-ups" were just as worried and, as funny as it sounds, human after all In the afternoon I went to see my doctor and we put together a plan to get my off my medication over the next few weeks. I'm hoping it'll help with other things I've felt over the last 4 years.
Have a super day everyone! Thanks for reading.
Had a very good day yesterday and rode my urge out
Instead of fighting it, trying to ignore it, and freaking out last week, I acknowledged it and rode it out. I used what I read about urge surfing, as well as "shifting" via AVRT reading I've been doing. It all helped and I'm another day sober. Our organization is being "absorbed" by another organization within the year. This means that many people will lose their jobs in a town where opportunities aren't exactly commonplace. Yesterday at a meeting, a senior director opened up about how she was feeling and invited everyone to do the same. It was very refreshing to hear and see how the "higher-ups" were just as worried and, as funny as it sounds, human after all
In the afternoon I went to see my doctor and we put together a plan to get my off my medication over the next few weeks. I'm hoping it'll help with other things I've felt over the last 4 years. Have a super day everyone! Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
G'morning folks and welcome Blacky.
Enjoyed reading everyones posts this morning, it always helps give me a boost.
I'm 25 days sober today and feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little unmotivated and tired a lot of the time which is strange, I think it's a combination of the anti depressants I'm on which do make me drowsy sometimes and also the fact I'm just at the house a lot of the time. I need to make some plans to get active and have some more exercise.
Saw a promising job ad which I'm gonna apply for shortly, clean my bathroom and look after my niece for a while, that should keep me busy!
Have a wonderful sober day guys.
Enjoyed reading everyones posts this morning, it always helps give me a boost.
I'm 25 days sober today and feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little unmotivated and tired a lot of the time which is strange, I think it's a combination of the anti depressants I'm on which do make me drowsy sometimes and also the fact I'm just at the house a lot of the time. I need to make some plans to get active and have some more exercise.
Saw a promising job ad which I'm gonna apply for shortly, clean my bathroom and look after my niece for a while, that should keep me busy!
Have a wonderful sober day guys.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Originally Posted by brach123
G'morning folks and welcome Blacky.
Enjoyed reading everyones posts this morning, it always helps give me a boost.
I'm 25 days sober today and feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little unmotivated and tired a lot of the time which is strange, I think it's a combination of the anti depressants I'm on which do make me drowsy sometimes and also the fact I'm just at the house a lot of the time. I need to make some plans to get active and have some more exercise.
Saw a promising job ad which I'm gonna apply for shortly, clean my bathroom and look after my niece for a while, that should keep me busy!
Have a wonderful sober day guys.
Enjoyed reading everyones posts this morning, it always helps give me a boost.
I'm 25 days sober today and feeling pretty good. I'm feeling a little unmotivated and tired a lot of the time which is strange, I think it's a combination of the anti depressants I'm on which do make me drowsy sometimes and also the fact I'm just at the house a lot of the time. I need to make some plans to get active and have some more exercise.
Saw a promising job ad which I'm gonna apply for shortly, clean my bathroom and look after my niece for a while, that should keep me busy!
Have a wonderful sober day guys.
Thanks for the welcome folks .. I got ta go get ready to leave.
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