Class of December 2015 Pt 3
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Sorry I missed wherever you posted yesterday Bobby.
Obviously you need to revise your recovery plan - any ideas on what you might add now, apart from seeing your Dr?
Alcoholism is progressive, I'm not surprised it's a bigger struggle now - all the more reason for a better plan?
D
Obviously you need to revise your recovery plan - any ideas on what you might add now, apart from seeing your Dr?
Alcoholism is progressive, I'm not surprised it's a bigger struggle now - all the more reason for a better plan?
D
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by BobbyLight 
Starting day 1 again here. I made it 16 days and gave up yesterday.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 54
Dee74: Honestly I have no idea. I reach out to people to talk when I feel the way I did yesterday, I've read and reminded myself of what I am doing, I've wrote down my feelings and reasons not to drink as I was white knuckling through it. I think it's work to be honest. I think that around 2-3 PM is when I want to go to have beers....or at least start thinking about it. Some days it's nothing but a blip on my radar...other days like yesterday I felt like I had no control, although that's a lie because I do.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
Thanks Vini and Miss P, I will keep sharing my recovery journey with you guys of course and I hope you guys continue to also ;-)
Happy birthday Jenses, I hope you have an excellent time sober and you will be able to remember it clearly! haha
Big congratulations on 30 days sober eleven! and thanks for sharing what has been working for you.
Sorry to hear about your relapse and the struggle that led to it Bobby. As a serial relapser myself I can sympathise with how you must be feeling. As has been said above the main thing is you haven't carried on and given up on recovery. For myself I always found that once I started to entertain the idea of a drink, it wasn't long until I lost out to that thought and picked up again. In that respect I really feel it is a mental illness, after all why would I want to drink after all the damage it has done to myself and my loved ones. I need to try and make steps forward every day in recovery to maintain momentum and not slip back to my old thought patterns. Obviously I'm extremely early days in sobriety but that is how I'm thinking right now and it's helping me along the way. There's much work to be done on myself yet and I need to continue working on underlying issues, but it can be done, one day at a time.
I'm on day 25 sober today and things are ok. I went to my probation meeting which I have to attend weekly because of my DUI. I'm only there 5 mins but it gets me out of the house at least! I felt really down last night after getting another letter from the police! I got some points for speeding about a month prior to my DUI and now because I don't have my license to send in for them to put the points on I have to go back to court. I felt really deflated after getting that, it seems to be one thing after another at the moment and whilst these are consequences of my own making, it can be a little overbearing to face at times. Anyway I'm waiting for the letter with details of the court appearance and I'll deal with it when it arrives. These driving offences are the first two times I've been in court and also my first driving offences. It's an indication of how the consequences of drinking do progress.
At least it's the weekend, I can go to a meeting tomorrow and then see my girlfriend and spend some time with the family. I may also go to the Buddhist centre for a retreat on Sunday, just need to work out transport.
I hope you all have a nice sober weekend, good luck with the doc on Monday Bobby.
Happy birthday Jenses, I hope you have an excellent time sober and you will be able to remember it clearly! haha
Big congratulations on 30 days sober eleven! and thanks for sharing what has been working for you.
Sorry to hear about your relapse and the struggle that led to it Bobby. As a serial relapser myself I can sympathise with how you must be feeling. As has been said above the main thing is you haven't carried on and given up on recovery. For myself I always found that once I started to entertain the idea of a drink, it wasn't long until I lost out to that thought and picked up again. In that respect I really feel it is a mental illness, after all why would I want to drink after all the damage it has done to myself and my loved ones. I need to try and make steps forward every day in recovery to maintain momentum and not slip back to my old thought patterns. Obviously I'm extremely early days in sobriety but that is how I'm thinking right now and it's helping me along the way. There's much work to be done on myself yet and I need to continue working on underlying issues, but it can be done, one day at a time.
I'm on day 25 sober today and things are ok. I went to my probation meeting which I have to attend weekly because of my DUI. I'm only there 5 mins but it gets me out of the house at least! I felt really down last night after getting another letter from the police! I got some points for speeding about a month prior to my DUI and now because I don't have my license to send in for them to put the points on I have to go back to court. I felt really deflated after getting that, it seems to be one thing after another at the moment and whilst these are consequences of my own making, it can be a little overbearing to face at times. Anyway I'm waiting for the letter with details of the court appearance and I'll deal with it when it arrives. These driving offences are the first two times I've been in court and also my first driving offences. It's an indication of how the consequences of drinking do progress.
At least it's the weekend, I can go to a meeting tomorrow and then see my girlfriend and spend some time with the family. I may also go to the Buddhist centre for a retreat on Sunday, just need to work out transport.
I hope you all have a nice sober weekend, good luck with the doc on Monday Bobby.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I am enjoying all the checkins, we are a great group.
Get back up on the sobriety horse Bobby!! You can do this.
18 days today. I'm feeling good about my sobriety today and my ability to let things in the past go, including my own mistakes.
Lots of love and strength to you all!
Get back up on the sobriety horse Bobby!! You can do this.
18 days today. I'm feeling good about my sobriety today and my ability to let things in the past go, including my own mistakes.
Lots of love and strength to you all!
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 104
Thanks all for the birthday wishes! It was a good birthday - I appreciated being sober; instead of "celebrating" I was able to reflect on my first birthday without both parents. Hopefully this is one more point towards rebuilding reality and new phase of life.
Bobby- glad you are back. Remember, it's a bump in the road - the number tracker starts over but you don't. Just a moment on the road to recovery. Someone in Dec posted that when the AV started for them, they tried to think about not the first drink, but the last (and next morning). It was a great suggestion which worked for me during the first few weeks. Not sure if it will work, but worth a shot
MissP - thanks for the kind words appreciate them!
Brach - blah on the letter. Hopefully these leftover items from drinking days past get resolved quickly. To go all Pollyanna on you - from here forward, you have a new slate once the left-overs are gone, you can move forward with a new freedom.
Have a great weekend all!
Bobby- glad you are back. Remember, it's a bump in the road - the number tracker starts over but you don't. Just a moment on the road to recovery. Someone in Dec posted that when the AV started for them, they tried to think about not the first drink, but the last (and next morning). It was a great suggestion which worked for me during the first few weeks. Not sure if it will work, but worth a shot
MissP - thanks for the kind words
appreciate them!Brach - blah on the letter. Hopefully these leftover items from drinking days past get resolved quickly. To go all Pollyanna on you - from here forward, you have a new slate
once the left-overs are gone, you can move forward with a new freedom.Have a great weekend all!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
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Brach, keep on with that great attitude. The court should react favourably to your sobriety and sincerity in maintaining it, should that come up. Sorry that it all seems to keep on coming but you have turned the corner already just by committing to sobriety.
Eleven, great going. Inspiring post - it sounds like you're on track so far. All the very best with tackling the issues before you - that is a reality for all of us and you are right, a consequence of our own making only we can amend. Post here for support if you need it - that goes without saying.
It's a wet, wet Saturday here. I've had a lazy morning. Said "shh" to the voice that insisted I should get in a run before going out later. It's absolutely fine to loaf around, slope off to the coffee shop, surf SR, read my book etc. on a day like today. Perfectionist me and alcoholic me may seem poles apart but they have a few things in common... obsessiveness, extreme behaviour, an excuse to do something other than sit still and reflect calmly on stuff.
Have a great weekend everyone. Vini, my plants are looking positively perky this morning - they must know there is change afoot.
Originally Posted by eleven
This is day 30. I have made it 30 days without drinking alcohol and that is my longest stretch for at least the past 15 years. There is no end in sight . . . I pray everyday that I never go back.
It's a wet, wet Saturday here. I've had a lazy morning. Said "shh" to the voice that insisted I should get in a run before going out later. It's absolutely fine to loaf around, slope off to the coffee shop, surf SR, read my book etc. on a day like today. Perfectionist me and alcoholic me may seem poles apart but they have a few things in common... obsessiveness, extreme behaviour, an excuse to do something other than sit still and reflect calmly on stuff.
Have a great weekend everyone. Vini, my plants are looking positively perky this morning - they must know there is change afoot
.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,549
Good afternoon class. Have been wagging school lately but am still sober. Have been feeling really disinterested in everything lately and don't know whether it's stopping drinking or the fact that I am withdrawing from Valium as well. I am now down to 3.75mgs Valium. Don't feel like doing anything and the flat is a mess. Feeling depressed. All normal you think? No question of me picking up because this time 'round I know it would only make things worse. Absolutely unmotivated. Three cheers for the Class of December 2015 hope everyone is doing well. Even in this unmotivated and depressed state sobriety is so much better.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Nice to see the group activity in the last day or two. I have been really busy last few days but still good. Blew my diet last night when I ate pretty much the entire contents of the local bakery. Went to bed like a bloated water balloon. No alcohol though and the cravings are still fine though I am not giving them much of a chance.
Bobby, I think it is worth dwelling on the moment you relapsed and what else you could do in case it happened again. Think the "why" is straight forward enough. The addiction was and remains really, really strong. Not sure it needs any more explanation than that. So you need to be at least as strong in return in how you combat it. There are two things that help me: 1) I have written out the top 10 times I felt lowest when I was drinking. What happened and how I felt. There are some truly horrendous things on that list. Things you can barely imagine. I read that when I feel the AV getting restless. 2) If I know I have a free evening and no work the next day - i.e.. prime bender opportunity - I immediately book movie tickets and go and see a movie. I buy them in advance as I know I won't waste them if I have bought them. I see a movie that starts at 6-7pm so by the time I am out its 9pm and the evening is half over and witching hour is behind me. They are only small things but for me they work. What I wanted to say is this: its not really about doing the things that others say works for them, you need to find what works for you. What can you do to distract and protect yourself for a couple of hours when the going gets tough?
Bobby, I think it is worth dwelling on the moment you relapsed and what else you could do in case it happened again. Think the "why" is straight forward enough. The addiction was and remains really, really strong. Not sure it needs any more explanation than that. So you need to be at least as strong in return in how you combat it. There are two things that help me: 1) I have written out the top 10 times I felt lowest when I was drinking. What happened and how I felt. There are some truly horrendous things on that list. Things you can barely imagine. I read that when I feel the AV getting restless. 2) If I know I have a free evening and no work the next day - i.e.. prime bender opportunity - I immediately book movie tickets and go and see a movie. I buy them in advance as I know I won't waste them if I have bought them. I see a movie that starts at 6-7pm so by the time I am out its 9pm and the evening is half over and witching hour is behind me. They are only small things but for me they work. What I wanted to say is this: its not really about doing the things that others say works for them, you need to find what works for you. What can you do to distract and protect yourself for a couple of hours when the going gets tough?
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Originally Posted by BobbyLight
Dee74: Honestly I have no idea. I reach out to people to talk when I feel the way I did yesterday, I've read and reminded myself of what I am doing, I've wrote down my feelings and reasons not to drink as I was white knuckling through it. I think it's work to be honest. I think that around 2-3 PM is when I want to go to have beers....or at least start thinking about it. Some days it's nothing but a blip on my radar...other days like yesterday I felt like I had no control, although that's a lie because I do.
I looked for a post from you asking for help before you drank and I couldn't find one? If that's so, maybe thats another thing to consider.
Sometimes it takes more than simply logging in reading a few posts and then logging out again. I spent hours on here fighting cravings in the early days.
I really didn't have any idea of what I was doing back then, but this site kept me sober
You have to consider that either you did all you could and your addiction was more powerful than you and beat you...which is nonsense...or there's more you can do
at the risk of repeating myself - this is a great link for cravings..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
and this is a great link for recovery plans
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Good Saturday morning class...
Dee thank you for the tips and links as usual.
UB - great idea buying the movie tix so you know you will actually go! One of my "go to" things when the AV starts in on me is to go to the health center pool and swim until I am too exhausted to do anything else. I pay about 7 times more to belong to this health center (with 2 pools and tennis) than what it costs to belong to a basic gym in my area, so that's a similar motivation to go often and get my money's worth. I also look online for what AA meetings are happening on my area that day, so I will know where and when that is an option.
Positive thoughts to all of you for a happy and sober weekend!
Dee thank you for the tips and links as usual.
UB - great idea buying the movie tix so you know you will actually go! One of my "go to" things when the AV starts in on me is to go to the health center pool and swim until I am too exhausted to do anything else. I pay about 7 times more to belong to this health center (with 2 pools and tennis) than what it costs to belong to a basic gym in my area, so that's a similar motivation to go often and get my money's worth. I also look online for what AA meetings are happening on my area that day, so I will know where and when that is an option.
Positive thoughts to all of you for a happy and sober weekend!
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Dee74
Urge Surfing to beat addictions and cravings
A technique known as "urge surfing" which harnesses mindfulness can be helpful for people who are experiencing cravings. Originally developed as a tool to help people struggling to battle alcohol and drug addiction, urge surfing is now being used to help people with overeating, gambling, compulsive shopping, smoking and other compulsive urges.
The idea behind urge surfing is that cravings come in cycles, like waves. They grow in intensity, before crashing and losing their power. By delaying gratification, and taking time to identify your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations at the time, coupled with learning to sit comfortably with your urges you can learn to let them go, and not act on them.
I often find that people confuse urge surfing with simply sitting on their hands and waiting for the cravings to pass. While delaying action can help some people, urge surfing is a more proactive approach that involves listening to your mind, heart and body. For example, where do you notice the craving on a physical level? Are you feeling tension in your shoulders or a gnawing feeling in your stomach? How does your mouth feel? What thoughts are you experiencing? Notice those thoughts and observe them calmly. Keep breathing calmly and steadily and let the thoughts pass through your mind like a video or audio reel.
Instead of battling the urge (or wave) ride it out and wait for it to crash and for cravings to disappear. When you give in to the urge, and give yourself the "fix" you crave, it only increases future cravings. By learning to ride the wave and let it go, over time you will notice cravings are less frequent.
This is a technique that takes time and patience, but if you're prepared to invest the time, it can pay big dividends. The catch is that most people find that the urge to smoke, drink, eat or gamble is so strong, that they forget that this tool is available to them. One good way to get in the habit of using mindfulness to combat cravings is to practise meditation or mindfulness daily, even if only for 30 seconds.
Any time I mention meditation or mindfulness in my workshops, the majority of the students get a glazed look in their eyes, and start fidgeting and complaining that they can't sit still for that long, let alone keep their thoughts focused on candles, mantras or clearing obsessive thoughts. My solution is to start with small achievable goals.
Most practitioners recommend spending 20 minutes a day in meditation. However, for the purposes of beating cravings 30 seconds may be all you need to stop your thought process and reorient your thinking into a more healthy pursuit. Urge surfing can also be adapted to help people with panic attacks or any form of obsessive thoughts. When you have compulsions or cravings, you need a way to interrupt your thoughts before you take action. Mindfulness, or urge surfing, can achieve exactly that.
A technique known as "urge surfing" which harnesses mindfulness can be helpful for people who are experiencing cravings. Originally developed as a tool to help people struggling to battle alcohol and drug addiction, urge surfing is now being used to help people with overeating, gambling, compulsive shopping, smoking and other compulsive urges.
The idea behind urge surfing is that cravings come in cycles, like waves. They grow in intensity, before crashing and losing their power. By delaying gratification, and taking time to identify your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations at the time, coupled with learning to sit comfortably with your urges you can learn to let them go, and not act on them.
I often find that people confuse urge surfing with simply sitting on their hands and waiting for the cravings to pass. While delaying action can help some people, urge surfing is a more proactive approach that involves listening to your mind, heart and body. For example, where do you notice the craving on a physical level? Are you feeling tension in your shoulders or a gnawing feeling in your stomach? How does your mouth feel? What thoughts are you experiencing? Notice those thoughts and observe them calmly. Keep breathing calmly and steadily and let the thoughts pass through your mind like a video or audio reel.
Instead of battling the urge (or wave) ride it out and wait for it to crash and for cravings to disappear. When you give in to the urge, and give yourself the "fix" you crave, it only increases future cravings. By learning to ride the wave and let it go, over time you will notice cravings are less frequent.
This is a technique that takes time and patience, but if you're prepared to invest the time, it can pay big dividends. The catch is that most people find that the urge to smoke, drink, eat or gamble is so strong, that they forget that this tool is available to them. One good way to get in the habit of using mindfulness to combat cravings is to practise meditation or mindfulness daily, even if only for 30 seconds.
Any time I mention meditation or mindfulness in my workshops, the majority of the students get a glazed look in their eyes, and start fidgeting and complaining that they can't sit still for that long, let alone keep their thoughts focused on candles, mantras or clearing obsessive thoughts. My solution is to start with small achievable goals.
Most practitioners recommend spending 20 minutes a day in meditation. However, for the purposes of beating cravings 30 seconds may be all you need to stop your thought process and reorient your thinking into a more healthy pursuit. Urge surfing can also be adapted to help people with panic attacks or any form of obsessive thoughts. When you have compulsions or cravings, you need a way to interrupt your thoughts before you take action. Mindfulness, or urge surfing, can achieve exactly that.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 168
Hi class! I just wanted to check in, I'm still doing well - today is Day 20 for me. I totally agree, ubntubnt, about finding what works for you to get through cravings. When I was putting together my plan I first started out listing those things that I've heard most around here - exercise, drink some tea, etc. but when I stopped to really think about it, those things honestly don't do much for me. My own list includes things like online window shopping (we're doing a lot of renovation/redecorating of our house so can get easily distracted by browsing house stuff online), coloring in an adult coloring book, taking a hot shower, work on a puzzle, look for items to purge/donate... I'm always tweaking my list.
I totally agree, ubntubnt, about finding what works for you to get through cravings. When I was putting together my plan I first started out listing those things that I've heard most around here - exercise, drink some tea, etc. but when I stopped to really think about it, those things honestly don't do much for me. My own list includes things like online window shopping (we're doing a lot of renovation/redecorating of our house so can get easily distracted by browsing house stuff online), coloring in an adult coloring book, taking a hot shower, work on a puzzle, look for items to purge/donate... I'm always tweaking my list.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 104
Day 41 - had a run-in with my AV tonight but managed to work my way through it. Luckily I choose to use my moodkit app and figured out that I was riddled with guilt and over personalizing issues. Funny but my AV has become my red flag that there are some emotions or thoughts I need to address. I still hate the initial AV chatter but am starting to associate it with stopping and looking inward rather than escape/going numb. I win I guess (which I need today).
That's it for my BUMOSI today. Have a good sat night everyone.
That's it for my BUMOSI today. Have a good sat night everyone.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Hi everyone.
Checking in on a Sunday afternoon here. Had a quiet weekend. I repotted my 2 sick plants and gave them a new home on a sill with more sunlight - I gave them a little pep talk as well - if it works for Prince Charles, it should work for me, hey?
I had coffee yesterday with a friend. She's doing "dry January". She went on a 6 week "detox" last October, which was inspiring. She was unemployed, unhappy with her weight and was in a sorry place personally. She pulled herself together, lost a stone in weight, found a job she loves and generally screwed her head back on straight. She looks happier than I've ever seen her and it's a joy.
She knows I have stopped drinking but I've been vague about how long for. I've said it's for at least 6 months which is actually what my doctor recommended. Saying "forever" feels like it will open up a conversation I don't want to have right now (I hope I am not being evasive so I can leave the door open, but I don't think so). At least we could talk about the benefits of being sober and the virtuous cycles we can create with small steps, that lead to bigger ones.
I feel really good today as a result. The sun is out and blue skies are back today too.
Thanks Sleepydots for the list and have fun with the redecorating. Nice to see you on here.
Have a great Sunday everyone. Keep on teaching those AVs who's boss.
Checking in on a Sunday afternoon here. Had a quiet weekend. I repotted my 2 sick plants and gave them a new home on a sill with more sunlight - I gave them a little pep talk as well - if it works for Prince Charles, it should work for me, hey?
I had coffee yesterday with a friend. She's doing "dry January". She went on a 6 week "detox" last October, which was inspiring. She was unemployed, unhappy with her weight and was in a sorry place personally. She pulled herself together, lost a stone in weight, found a job she loves and generally screwed her head back on straight. She looks happier than I've ever seen her and it's a joy.
She knows I have stopped drinking but I've been vague about how long for. I've said it's for at least 6 months which is actually what my doctor recommended. Saying "forever" feels like it will open up a conversation I don't want to have right now (I hope I am not being evasive so I can leave the door open, but I don't think so). At least we could talk about the benefits of being sober and the virtuous cycles we can create with small steps, that lead to bigger ones.
I feel really good today as a result. The sun is out and blue skies are back today too.
Thanks Sleepydots for the list and have fun with the redecorating. Nice to see you on here
.Have a great Sunday everyone. Keep on teaching those AVs who's boss.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
I know what you mean Miss Perfume. I have told my most of friends, family and work colleagues that "I am off the booze". I just laugh it off as a kind of mid life crisis saying I just want to get fit and healthy so will stay off it for a "few months". Saying "forever" for me sounds too similar to "my name is UB and I'm an alcoholic". Which I am of course, but I am not even close to wanting to have that conversation with anyone other than my wife right now.
I don't think it leaves any doors open. I think whether the door is open it not has nothing to do with how you present your outward face. Drinking certainly ain't an option again.
I don't think it leaves any doors open. I think whether the door is open it not has nothing to do with how you present your outward face. Drinking certainly ain't an option again.
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