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Class of December 2015 Pt 3

Old 01-13-2016, 12:26 AM
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sleep-eat-work-gym-sleep-eat-work-gym etc etc etc. Day 44. 12 days to go to beat my record of last year.

Early to bed tonight, up at 5am tomorrow for a biz trip and fly back approx midnight tomorrow then midnight flight again on Saturday followed by a week with my boss (who doesn't drink). So really my only major danger time in the next 10 days in this coming Friday evening. So I am going to have to put something in place to keep me busy then - maybe bring my wife to see a movie.

Keep soldiering on everyone, almost mid January
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Old 01-13-2016, 03:31 AM
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Reality...what a concept!
 
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Happy Humpdaaaay! Starting on day 14 here...have to admit this is definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done, and realizing it will never, ever, be done - is kind of daunting. Other things that I have had to work hard for had definite endings - such as getting a degree, professional certifications, finishing a long term project, etc. When we are in the thick of doing those difficult things, we can say to ourselves "in the next xx days/months I will be done with this". But it seems working at our sobriety is a lifelong process, as indicated by others who post on SR with many years of sobriety under their belts. Sorry for the sobering thoughts this early morning - but we can do this class of 12/15! And let's make it our goal to still be here - clear and happy - tomorrow, next month, next year, and beyond!
Kitty - have a fantastic vacation and keep in mind we are all just a website away if you need support!
UB - safe and sober business travels - this will be one of your shining moments for sure!
Miss P - thank you for sharing your plan. I am not doing much work on my plan and I still do not have much of one, and thinking about ordering a workbook to give me some clue about what I should be doing. Would appreciate anyone else willing to share the details of their plan!
Have a sparkling sober Wednesday class!
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Old 01-13-2016, 04:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Vinificent View Post
Happy Humpdaaaay! Starting on day 14 here...have to admit this is definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done, and realizing it will never, ever, be done - is kind of daunting.
Vini, its not like that. Thats your AV working on you. Here is how I look at it, not entirely PC correct, but who cares.....

Imagine you weight 600lbs and have never ran before. Then someone tells you that you must sprint 100m every day for the rest of your life. You run 100m on day 1 and almost die. To do this every day is impossible you think. Then for the next 30 days it is extraordinarily tough, you can't imagine doing it forever, how depressing. But over the following weeks and months the weight comes off and you get fitter. Running 100m now is not a big deal. 1 year later you weight 300lbs and are fit, its easy enough. After a couple of years you are an athlete and you can do 100m without even thinking about it. Thats how I look at it. We need to build our sober muscles and our body needs some time to adjust.
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Old 01-13-2016, 05:58 AM
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Day 24 here. I think I'm getting a bit of a cold. Feeling tired and yucky even though I slept 9 hours last night. Happy to still be sober. AV was a pain for a while yesterday.

That's a great way to look at it ubn. I start to feel like sobriety is a bit daunting when I think really long term. But I also know I want to be sober for forever. I never want to have to deal with the first few weeks again. Or be stuck in a drinking cycle for months on end like I was last year. I'm just over it.

Hope you all have a wonderful sober day.
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Old 01-13-2016, 08:10 AM
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Quick check in for me on day 23. Had a quiet day, not been feeling 100% myself either. Anyway it's allowed me to enjoy a relaxed day and I am still going to meet my sponsor tonight as planned. It's getting cold here so looking forward to climbing under the duvet early tonight! :-)

Have a nice day guys!
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Old 01-13-2016, 08:48 AM
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Reality...what a concept!
 
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Originally Posted by ubntubnt View Post
We need to build our sober muscles and our body needs some time to adjust.
This is awesome UB - really helps put things in perspective! Forever seems like a long time, but you are so right that it's the AV telling me I could never live the rest of my life without a drink...so self-important that little voice is! From now on I am going to recognize my AV and be like "I don't ever need you in my life again and if you never pass my lips until the day I die, I will be not only fine, but better!"
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Old 01-13-2016, 04:19 PM
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Good morning everyone ... I'm so excited to be able to say this: today I am exactly one month sober!

I have gained much in one month. I am exercising everyday, eating healthily and getting my youthful skin and eyes back. I have tidied the flat and kept it that way, recovering things along the way ... my music which I listen to all the time now when I'm home, clothes and accessories I'd forgotten about (as good as a shopping spree), books I'd bought and meant to read and now have a lovely hour or so in the mornings to dip into, and most of all, a sense of me! Not quite the old me, but a new-improved (ever-improving) model of the old me.

Kittycat would be on the way to vacation - hope it's a great one.

Brach, yes, I really want to hear about the sponsor and AA. I have not attended AA but it remains something I have on standby in case I need a boost. There is a women's meeting very close to where I live.

UB, have a great business trip - it will be so much more productive sober. Thanks for your 100 m analogy too!

Cute, look after yourself - it sounds like you're working extremely hard.

To those feeling blue today, or just having a quiet bit of downtime, we all know - it's better sober!

Every single day this past month I have been on SR, without exception, and it's been inspiring and grounding. Thank you - to Dee especially.
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Old 01-13-2016, 11:14 PM
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day 19 checking in... Congrats on a month Miss P!!!! Awesome! :-)
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Old 01-13-2016, 11:50 PM
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Thanks for your post Ubn - I'd hate anyone to think that sobriety was unrelenting effort or, even worse, torture....

It's not - early recovery is hard - but it gets easier, I promise

Life is good

Congratulations on your milestones Miss Perfumado brach and Cute
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Old 01-14-2016, 04:01 AM
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Another great sober morning - Happy Friday Eve! Starting day 15 and reflecting on the last 2 weeks - what works and what doesn't. Went to an AA meeting on days 1 and 2, but have had work and other commitments over the last few weeks and have not been since. Would like to get to one now that I am in a better place. I'm not sure if I am going to get a sponsor and work the steps just yet, but the peer support and contact with others who had been where I was at that time was so helpful in those first few days. It was the day before NYE and of I hadn't cancelled the party I had planned, removed all alcohol from the house, and found that AA meeting, I seriously think I would have drank my way through the entire holiday weekend. So thankful that I am sober today and not where I was on that fateful day.
Time to start planning for sober weekend #3! Have a sparkling day class!
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Old 01-14-2016, 05:27 AM
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Amazing Miss P, congratulations! I'm very happy for you, you deserve all the good that is coming to you, you have worked for it!

Glad to hear things are going well for you also Vini, I definitely think AA has many qualities that will help me if I utilize them.

It's day 24 for me and I'm feeling good also :-) ! I met my sponsor last night, he's a real down to earth guy and he's turned his life around amazingly. He really helped me last night, just in our initial talk, by clearing some things up and talking them through. I have had sponsors in the past and began working the steps but relapsed before I'd started the action. I really believe that I need to work on the problems that are at the crux of my alcoholism and I believe that the steps can help me to do that. I've seen it work for many around here and they are living happy and sober, that's really all I want.

I'm feeling very positive about it right now, if I work for it and follow suggestions there is no reason I cannot remain sober and start improving on myself and my life.

Have a great day everybody!
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Old 01-14-2016, 06:47 AM
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Good morning. Day 20 here. Thank u Dee Nice job on 15 and 24 days Vin and Brach! I hope everyone has a great sober Thursday!
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Old 01-14-2016, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by MissPerfumado View Post
Good morning everyone ... I'm so excited to be able to say this: today I am exactly one month sober!
Congrats MissP!! You are doing great! I look forward to your posts and love reading your positive outlook!
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Old 01-14-2016, 02:19 PM
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Hi all! Checking in on day 39...and on my 39th birthday! Weird! I think that is a double celebration. Am starting to feel a bit better this week; reading "Care of the Soul" which has been helpful with my existential struggled to find meaning. Without work or booze to hide my underlying fear that life is ultimately meaningless, I recognize that I need to address it. Also read Blackout-Remembering the things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola which was an excellent, timely read. Made me reflect on the the things in my story which have constantly whispered in my ear that I am not good enough - somehow flawed. Here's hoping that this year will be a game changer - accepting all of me and believing that I am who I am supposed to be and am ok as is.
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Old 01-14-2016, 02:37 PM
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Happy Birthday Jenses and congratulations

D
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Old 01-14-2016, 03:56 PM
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Happy birthday Jenses! What a great vibe we have going at the mo.

Jenses, so glad you're feeling better. I have just downloaded the Hepola book on my Kindle. I'd not come across Care of the Soul before but am going to read more about it. Thank you.

Brach, please continue to tell us (if you are ok with it) about your AA experience. I wonder about working the steps eventually ... it's just a thought right now as I think there's a lot more I need to do, but it has helped so many people, as one can see right here on SR.

Well, it's Friday for me which means the weekend is almost here. I think tomorrow might be "plant" day for me. I have five small potted plants in my little flat, and two are on the critical list & in need of intensive care. I'm popping down to a nursery and may call on a friend who lives nearby. Other than that, it will be my usual quiet weekend. Which suits an introvert like me (I often wonder if there is a positive correlation between alcoholics and introverts).

Have a great day folks. Keep those sober days coming.
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Old 01-14-2016, 10:31 PM
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This is day 30. I have made it 30 days without drinking alcohol and that is my longest stretch for at least the past 15 years. There is no end in sight . . . I pray everyday that I never go back.

There have been some difficult moments for sure - Christmas Eve found me trying to convince myself that it would be fine to have just one bottle of wine. Not just one glass, mind you, but just one bottle. It took all my might not to go buy anything. I made it through that night and then I made it through Christmas day and then on the next day - on my day 11, I found these forums.

A reconnection with my Higher Power, a new yoga practice, lots of tea, changing some routines and reading SR forums has gotten me to this day. The benefits are tremendous: I have saved hundreds of dollars, have never slept better in my whole life, can look myself in the eye in the mirror again and what had become an ever-present feeling of guilt/shame hanging over me has faded. I am eating better and look better. I feel proud of myself for doing something that for so long was so impossible. I am not even sure why I have been able to do it this time; but I am so grateful for these past 30 days.

I know that moving forward, I am going to need to face up to some things - emotional things and some physical things that have been cause and now are effects of my drinking. I have been damaged and I have caused some damage. I do not really have a solid plan for how to now deal with parts of my life without alcohol . . . and I realize that is dangerous. So that is where my focus now turns.

Okay . . . thanks for listening. I suppose I just wanted to share a little and celebrate a little. My best to you all, wherever you may be on your journey.
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Old 01-14-2016, 10:52 PM
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Hi all. Just starting day 21 and am feeling positive. Had some good news yesterday. After 30 years of on, off drinking (mostly on in the last 10 years), my blood test has come back normal for liver and kidney function My white cell count is high indicating infection so have to have a repeat test next week but I don't feel physically ill so I am hopeful that this will have righted itself.

Still going to a meeting a day (except Thursdays) and it just feels different this time around. I have heard it described as a lightbulb moment or a moment of clarity. I am under no illusions and know that I am right at the beginning of my journey to sobriety but with the help of SR and AA I feel hopeful. I have even opened a very tentative channel of communication with a HP. It still feels a little awkward and strange but somehow comforting.

Hope you all have a peaceful and sober day.
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Old 01-15-2016, 03:36 AM
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Morning everyone. Starting day 1 again here. I made it 16 days and gave up yesterday. I had really bad cravings and my AV was quite strong. At one point I felt like I was having a panic attack, but not really. I did everything I could think of: focus on work, write in my journal, read some AVRT stuff, hop on here, and talk with some friends. In the end I made the decision to go have some pints and here I am starting anew. Right now I am feeling guilty and ashamed. I'm sad that I disappointed my loving fiancee that has been so supportive of me. I guess I wasn't prepared to go through something that intense....I still can't believe how I felt and what was going through my head. At one point I was pretty much yelling at it to stop....almost sounds like schizophrenia lol. I have a doctors appt on Monday to talk about this and the pills I've been on these last 3 or so years. I drank very heavily 2 years ago and was able to quit for 3 months much easier than this, in the sense that I didn't have the "battle" I had yesterday. I'm actually freaked out by the whole thing. Anyways, looking forward to a relaxing weekend with the family and no alcohol involved. I'm thinking I need to pick up some books that have been recommended to me. Thanks for reading and have an awesome weekend.
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Old 01-15-2016, 03:56 AM
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Happy Friday! Thank you all for the daily sharing and encouraging words. I could never say I have been 16 days sober without you. It is also great to know you are always there whenever I need a reminder that staying alcohol free is my primary focus right now, and mostly everything else needs to be regarded as background noise.
Beach - thank you for sharing your AA journey. Still not sure about how I will be utilizing it but always interested in others experience.
Miss P - good luck with your plants! I have a Ficus that I had been neglecting when I was drinking (forgetting to water, over pruning ) and it's now starting to sprout some new leaves since I've been sober and taking care of it. Interesting how plants can be a barometer for what is going on in our lives!
Congrats to everyone on one more sober work week. Now lets slay the weekend!
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