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Class of December 2015 Pt 3

Old 01-10-2016, 12:50 PM
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I'm lucky I'm scheduled to work today. Helps to keep my focus on others . Night is hard. Was always my swilling vodka time.
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Old 01-10-2016, 04:54 PM
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It's a rainy Monday morning here - it will be wet all week, says the weather forecast. It's officially 4 weeks sober for me today though!

Leasha - wow, great job on the 4 runs (esp. the marathon to finish) and even better staying sober. I had to see which of your teams won the game ... sorry, Cute. I don't know anything about NFL but it looks like it was close. Australian Rules Football is my game. Saying that, I am a little bit apprehensive about when the season starts - big trigger there for me as I used to love a drink while watching a game - I will have to find a technique.

Looked over my plan yesterday and made a few changes - mainly around adding new triggers I've identified (like football!) and techniques. I'm seeing that my techniques for dealing with urges fall into a few broad categories:

- being more mindful (urge-surfing, meditating, playing the tape through)
- reaching out (calling family/friends, checking in on SR)
- distractions (going for a run, playing online chess, reading/writing, being busy around the flat)
- substitutes for related urges (eating a healthy snack, drinking a cup of tea)

Have a great Monday everyone. Great job on the weekend, all!
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Old 01-10-2016, 05:27 PM
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Day 11 and struggling with the AV...Sundays were always the day I started "relaxing" (i.e. drinking) mid-afternoon, and today the urge was as great as ever. AV would reason that I had done a lot of work all weekend - cleaning, painting, cooking - and that my body needed to rest but my mind needed a little help from our old friend Merlot. But this Sunday I said: not today Satan! Couldn't believe it myself but for the first time in - well, YEARS - I managed to relax and watch TV and play games completely sober!
And one of the things I did to pass the time was read Rational Recovery and many SR posts - so thank you Class of December 15 for helping me reach another milestone, and congratulations to all of you for another sober weekend!
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Old 01-10-2016, 07:20 PM
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Nice job everyone. Thats a big hurdle you cleared there Vini. Awesome job Leasha, you deserve a great alcohol free reward. You are working your recovery well there Miss P, you would make a good management consultant.
Day 42 here, feel healthy and no real desire to drink. I have been isolating a bit to put these days behind me. 2 weeks and 4 countries worth of business trips coming up will push me back out into the real world. This is exactly the kind of trip that would have included 2 or 3 24 hour benders and numerous bottles of wine and felt like a real endurance trip. I am looking forward to doing this one rested, sober and eating well. It will be good to see how most people actually feel when they travel.
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Old 01-11-2016, 03:06 AM
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Still good for me but the drinking dreams have started. 2 nights in a row. Oh well, I also dreamed I could fly with my arms so that's as impossible as having just one that I've found hidden away.
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Old 01-11-2016, 03:59 AM
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Good morning all, 21 days today and I'm extremely grateful for that!

That being said I woke feeling kinda low today, I'm not 100% sure why but I think it's the general feeling down on myself for being back at my folks and not having work that is doing it. I need to structure my days better and think more about what I can do to fill my time, there's plenty I'm sure, but I just woke not really wanting to get out of bed as I didn't feel there was much to do. The irony of it all is that when I'm back at work I'll be thinking how nice it would be to have a day off haha. :-)

I am going out to a job centre shortly which will get me out of the house and help give me a boost in productivity!

Onward and upwards folks! I'm only fortunate to be fit enough to look for work thanks to the sobriety I'm now building, I can never forget that. I've lost many jobs because of my drinking and only in sobriety will I be able to get my career back on track.

Have a wonderful sober day guys. It sounds like you're all doing amazing! Well done for getting through Sunday sober Vini, it sounds like a huge hurdle to pass and now you have affirmed to yourself you can do it.

Miss P I like your coping techniques, I'm going some of those to my plan, thanks for sharing.

UB I have isolated a bit to get these days behind me but I think that's ok and gradually start to face more as we get some sober time behind us. I'm certain you will enjoy your business trips much more sober, how nice it will be to arrive fresh faced and compos mentis! ;-)
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:01 AM
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Morning. Day 14 checking in.

Weekend flew right by, but we did get alot done around the house. Things I've been putting off since we moved that weren't really a rush....but glad they're done now. Napped for two hours yesterday afternoon, which for me is strange. Seems like I am sleeping lots of hours, but still so very tired. Some days I wonder if I am actually sleeping or just laying there breathing...half asleep or something. My depression has been up there too. I am on Cipralex and have been for about 4 years. I upped my dosage in September, which at the time seemed to be a good thing. Now with how I am feeling I don't know if it's actually a good thing for me, or if it's the not drinking causing alot of the things going on in my head. They say if you drink on these they don't work, so now I am wondering if they are working and aren't for me. I'm planning on talking to my doctor sooner than later and going from there. I don't feel like myself at all. I didn't have much for urges over the weekend, so I am happy about that. Thanks for reading and hope everyone has a good day.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:34 PM
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Morning all. I feel like I dreamt all night last night, so much so I was exhausted waking up. No drinking dreams but dreams of being talked at by random people for what seems like hours.

Brach, good luck with the visit to the job centre. Love your positive attitude - I am sure it will make a huge difference in getting you something you are happy with.

Bobby - I remember around Day 14, I'd been doing well sleeping at night but needed those naps like my life depended on it.

Originally Posted by ubntubnt View Post
You are working your recovery well there Miss P, you would make a good management consultant.
I will take that as a compliment, UB, and just turn those 4 bullet points into a 100 slide deck (and charge accordingly).

Have a great day everyone. Stay strong.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:43 PM
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Finishing day 36. It's been a rough week - so tempted to have a drink last night to numb feeling lost and directionless. I am glad I didn't, but it's becoming obvious that the recovery process is like an iceburg (for me). The drinking is the part that I could see and identify as the problem. Now I am uncovering the big issues that have been hiding under the surface. Anyone else running into their underlying issues head-on?
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:17 PM
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hi Jenses, most certainly. I think it is Anna I have seen saying many times exactly that. The quitting is only the first part. Working your recovery and learning to live sober is what it is really about. Personally I think I have only really scratched the surface of this. God only knows what issues lie beneath the surface once I start scratching at it but for now I am focusing on staying sober and actually quite enjoying the experience at the moment. With every day that passes going back to my old way of drinking becomes less of an option.

Maybe set yourself some goals that you can aim towards, maybe a fitness goal, or a financial goal, maybe a charity goal etc. Something that can keep you focused and make you feel that you are moving forward every day. I have decided I need to lose 9kg in 9 weeks and run a half marathon in week 10. For me thats a tough challenge and means watching my diet and gym training 3 or 4 times a week. I also have a set amount of miles I need to cover each week (and each day) in my program. It helps because I can feel every day that I am on track and I know when I get out of bed every day what I need to do. I have a very competitive nature so I don't want to lose and mess up the goal......and all the time I am thinking/obsessing on this I am not drinking....and now its day 43.

As for all the other issues, well I am not sure what they are but I am sure I will get to them when I am ready.

You are doing amazing entering week 6. There are a number of books on recovery that may help you to understand how to begin the process of facing other issues in your life. Dee or Anna would be able to give you plenty of recommendations. Also, I did try AA last year and while I ultimately decided it was not for me I did come away with a lot of respect for it and the 12 step program. It focuses on rebuilding the foundations of a sober life and if you have not attended a meeting I can only recommend it.
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:22 PM
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Day 17 ending. Feelin a bit irritable n depressed ..tired too. Gonna get to sleep earlier tonight. Help this pass. Good night all!
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:57 AM
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Day 15. I'm awake at 5 AM, not sure why. Ok, it's probably because I'm going on vacation tomorrow!
I know I can stay sober for this trip. I can't wait to leave town and get away, much needed!
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:19 AM
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have a great sober vacation kittycat

D
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:44 AM
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Morning. Day 15 checking.

Have an awesome vacation kittycat! I'm super jealous as it's -30 with the wind here this morning.

I ordered an AVRT book yesterday as I feel like the "pink cloud" or whatever is dissipating. With my depression lately the AV was full throttle yesterday afternoon. I find nothing is bringing me joy these last few days, even things that usually do. Exercise helps alot, but my body feels extra weak and just "off". When I got to work yesterday, within 15 minutes I just felt something come over me and I sat there feeling empty. Everything felt pointless. I used to feel like this when I drank too and it would come and go. I guess I've been expecting for this to go away as I always thought it went hand in hand with the drinking. I know I've had depression and anxiety my whole life, but I've been taking these feelings extra hard lately because I can't turn to the booze. The funny thing is I noticed I wasn't thinking about drinking at all yesterday, until close to end of day when that voice started to speak. I then thought it was all a ruse and that's where these feelings are coming from....the beast inside. It didn't make itself known until I was at my weakest. Anyways, I'm tired and trying to wake up so I hope that doesn't sound too much like the ramblings of a crazy person

Much love and hope everyone has a good day.
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Old 01-12-2016, 04:00 AM
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Hope the AVRT book helps Bobby.

To be honest I didn't have a pink cloud at all, but I stayed sober and eventually I had a constant joy of life develop.

That's not to say everyday is a good one, or that I'm always blissfully happy, but life is good

D
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Jenses View Post
Now I am uncovering the big issues that have been hiding under the surface. Anyone else running into their underlying issues head-on?
Short answer: Yes, Jenses. My current biggest issue is connected with my imminent move back home in a few months' time, particularly from a work point of view.

It wouldn't hurt to be more pro-active about reminding people I'm going to be back, start making some calls etc., but I am sensing huge anxiety in myself about it. Getting sober has been a big part of "priming" myself for the move, but now I find this hesitation to actually get on, make solid plans, and execute.

One thing I keep trying to tell myself is not to pressure myself about it. The changes that are easiest to make are those where it doesn't feel like an all-or-nothing move. I need to remind myself there is no right or wrong way - it is all a continuing exploration of my life.

Writing this out has been a help to be honest - particularly realising that I should look upon this as a new, exciting chapter of my life and not a scary unknown. Removing fear and replacing it with positive anticipation is the key.

All the best Jenses. I don't know what your issues are but I hope you find answers.
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:00 AM
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I really get where you both are coming from Jenses and Bobby. After a short time sober I can begin to get discouraged about life in general, be it trying to get work, my living situation, or what I want to be doing in life... I think UB's suggestion of setting some goals is a good one and the links Dee posted with how to set out a plan of recovery has also been really useful for me. (https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf)

The main thing is that these negative feelings always pass and I am always beyond happy that I didn't act out on them. I have found mindulness books/meditation have helped me to live with these feelings, let them be and to move on from them.

I actually spent some time on writing in my plan last night, laying out things I want to do right away and more long term goals. It's good for to have some structure and also to identify what I enjoy doing in sobriety. I think what I have heard about 'getting out of self' is so true when I'm struggling. If I'm ever feeling down/anxious or any other negative emotion it's because I'm stuck in my own thoughts, thinking about me! Bringing it back to the moment and speaking to somebody else, helping around the house or doing some other activity always helps give me relief from feeling so bad, although it can take some time! I'm very much a work in progress ;-)

I've had a good day, I went to the job centre and then feeling encouraged popped into a job agency to give them my CV and sat down for a good chat with the agent there. When it came to filling out my details there was a questions about criminal convictions so I told her about my DUI. She didn't seem too concerned and said it wouldn't affect me getting work through them, I just hope she meant it! Anyway I'm glad I went, I'd been putting it off and feel good about facing my fear, we'll see if there is any fruition in the coming days!

Oh and I called a guy I know from AA last night and asked him if he would sponsor me, which he agreed to and we are meeting tomorrow for a coffee and to discuss working the steps. Good times indeed :-)

I hope you all enjoy your day sober.
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:26 PM
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Quiet thread today!

I am headed out for vacation with a group of friends supportive of my sobriety. I will be (mostly) comfortable not drinking and am really looking forward to a vacation away in the sun

15 days today. Seems like it's both a long and very short amount of time I've been a non-drinker. After posting tonight on the "normal drinkers don't..." Thread (and remembering the dark places drink has taken me), I'm glad to be celebrating 15 whole days of the new sober me
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:27 PM
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pS brach, glad you got a sponsor! Must have taken some courage to ask him. Let us know how it goes!
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:47 PM
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Day 18. Wow. I've def had more days before but have never posted on here daily for that long before haha. Brach I have had a dui too and it's never affected me getting a job. As long as it's a misdemeanor and not a driving job u should be fine. Congrats on getting a sponsor. kitty have a great vacation! I'm off to bed. Very tired..work is busy lately. Have a great Wednesday all. Good morning or good night :P
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