Class of December 2015 Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: England
Posts: 146
Huge, huge cravings today. Think I'm over it now thank goodness. Got offered prosecco in the midst of these cravings but said no. Really scared about how alcohol affects my health, so that fear is preventing me from taking that first drink
Day 22 almost over
Day 22 almost over
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 354
1 month today! I don't post that often but at least pop in for a read most days. Couldn't have done it without SR - 
Bought a bottle of "artesian" sparkling water today for Christmas Day. Cost £3 (about US $4.50) - better be bloody good!
Bought a bottle of "artesian" sparkling water today for Christmas Day. Cost £3 (about US $4.50) - better be bloody good!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Welcome learning again and RBK. So nice to have you join us. Abraxas (1 month!) and others celebrating milestones - congratulations.
To everyone going through tough memories and sad times as Christmas comes around, I wish you strength. Apologies if I don't always stop to give support expressly but I do appreciate how hard this time of the year can be for many. (I do have my own issues about expressing feelings involving sadness and grief ... but that's not something for this post.)
Day 9 for me. Tough couple of days. Had severely moody periods at work yesterday, even though it wasn't particularly stressful.
I can only assume I am anxious about the trip home tonight ... so many triggers to face. For starters, travel for me often involves loads of free booze, at the lounge, on the plane, all literally served up on a tray. Then I have a day tomorrow saying goodbye to my soon-to-be ex (the relationship was bad but he is not ... he is a good man, the love of my life, but I need to walk away and put him in the "not going back there" compartment). Then I'm seeing my family on Christmas Eve and spending the holidays with them. My mum might be emotional seeing me - I'm anxious about that. My siblings understand I'm not drinking but they do drink - they've promised to support me and not to ask me to drink but I will be around it.
I have techniques and strategies for each trigger. I really feel I can do it. One day at a time and I won't be overwhelmed.
Stay on track through Christmas everyone and have a great one. I will try and keep posting on SR if I feel I need encouragement, support, or someone to stop me if I waver... x
To everyone going through tough memories and sad times as Christmas comes around, I wish you strength. Apologies if I don't always stop to give support expressly but I do appreciate how hard this time of the year can be for many. (I do have my own issues about expressing feelings involving sadness and grief ... but that's not something for this post.)
Day 9 for me. Tough couple of days. Had severely moody periods at work yesterday, even though it wasn't particularly stressful.
I can only assume I am anxious about the trip home tonight ... so many triggers to face. For starters, travel for me often involves loads of free booze, at the lounge, on the plane, all literally served up on a tray. Then I have a day tomorrow saying goodbye to my soon-to-be ex (the relationship was bad but he is not ... he is a good man, the love of my life, but I need to walk away and put him in the "not going back there" compartment). Then I'm seeing my family on Christmas Eve and spending the holidays with them. My mum might be emotional seeing me - I'm anxious about that. My siblings understand I'm not drinking but they do drink - they've promised to support me and not to ask me to drink but I will be around it.
I have techniques and strategies for each trigger. I really feel I can do it. One day at a time and I won't be overwhelmed.
Stay on track through Christmas everyone and have a great one. I will try and keep posting on SR if I feel I need encouragement, support, or someone to stop me if I waver... x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Congrats on a month abrax, that is fantastic!
Miss P, you have a lot going on, and the holidays just brings it on all at once, but you sound strong and determined. I think it's helpful that you told your siblings that you aren't drinking, it will also help keep you accountable. I have recently ended a relationship in a similar way (although I don't have such warm feelings about the kind of man he is) and I can say that at least in my case, drinking led me "back there" quite a few times. When I'm sober, the reality of it all is very clear, and while I have my sad moments, I work through it, and certainly dont' contact him. I ended it with dignity and my head held high and then I contacted him while I was drinking (twice) and majorly regret it. So, just another reason to stay sober
Day 9 for me as well. Yesterday was probably the closest I came to drinking. I didn't have it to my lips, but I was driving, it was 4:00, and I imagined the relief a few sips of wine would be from whatever I was feeling. It all ran through my head...Christmas, vacation, my dad, the stress, why not, what's the big deal, why am I doing this to myself, .. I cried, I screamed (and looked like a psycho person I am sure) and just went home. I felt uncomfortable for a little while and then it passed.
Going to the cemetery with my stepmother today. I usually go alone, so this will be different for me. I always wish for some connection with him when I'm there, but it always just feels so surreal. Like a movie. How can this be my father's grave, how can this be me standing here? I'm the little girl with the daddy who makes her feel so special and loved, who has taken care of her since the day she was born, how can he not be here with me? I feel like the first time pregnant mother who feels like she is the first and only woman to be pregnant ever. I have known tons of people who have lost parents and never thought about how heartbreaking it is. I knew it was sad, but thought it was just a part of life, we lose our parents. But it is so much more than that. It is humbling.
Sorry for the sad ending to the post. I will be ok, it was my bumos for the day
Have a great sober day
Miss P, you have a lot going on, and the holidays just brings it on all at once, but you sound strong and determined. I think it's helpful that you told your siblings that you aren't drinking, it will also help keep you accountable. I have recently ended a relationship in a similar way (although I don't have such warm feelings about the kind of man he is) and I can say that at least in my case, drinking led me "back there" quite a few times. When I'm sober, the reality of it all is very clear, and while I have my sad moments, I work through it, and certainly dont' contact him. I ended it with dignity and my head held high and then I contacted him while I was drinking (twice) and majorly regret it. So, just another reason to stay sober
Day 9 for me as well. Yesterday was probably the closest I came to drinking. I didn't have it to my lips, but I was driving, it was 4:00, and I imagined the relief a few sips of wine would be from whatever I was feeling. It all ran through my head...Christmas, vacation, my dad, the stress, why not, what's the big deal, why am I doing this to myself, .. I cried, I screamed (and looked like a psycho person I am sure) and just went home. I felt uncomfortable for a little while and then it passed.
Going to the cemetery with my stepmother today. I usually go alone, so this will be different for me. I always wish for some connection with him when I'm there, but it always just feels so surreal. Like a movie. How can this be my father's grave, how can this be me standing here? I'm the little girl with the daddy who makes her feel so special and loved, who has taken care of her since the day she was born, how can he not be here with me? I feel like the first time pregnant mother who feels like she is the first and only woman to be pregnant ever. I have known tons of people who have lost parents and never thought about how heartbreaking it is. I knew it was sad, but thought it was just a part of life, we lose our parents. But it is so much more than that. It is humbling.
Sorry for the sad ending to the post. I will be ok, it was my bumos for the day
Have a great sober day
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado 
Welcome learning again and RBK. So nice to have you join us. Abraxas (1 month!) and others celebrating milestones - congratulations.
To everyone going through tough memories and sad times as Christmas comes around, I wish you strength. Apologies if I don't always stop to give support expressly but I do appreciate how hard this time of the year can be for many. (I do have my own issues about expressing feelings involving sadness and grief ... but that's not something for this post.)
Day 9 for me. Tough couple of days. Had severely moody periods at work yesterday, even though it wasn't particularly stressful.
I can only assume I am anxious about the trip home tonight ... so many triggers to face. For starters, travel for me often involves loads of free booze, at the lounge, on the plane, all literally served up on a tray. Then I have a day tomorrow saying goodbye to my soon-to-be ex (the relationship was bad but he is not ... he is a good man, the love of my life, but I need to walk away and put him in the "not going back there" compartment). Then I'm seeing my family on Christmas Eve and spending the holidays with them. My mum might be emotional seeing me - I'm anxious about that. My siblings understand I'm not drinking but they do drink - they've promised to support me and not to ask me to drink but I will be around it.
I have techniques and strategies for each trigger. I really feel I can do it. One day at a time and I won't be overwhelmed.
Stay on track through Christmas everyone and have a great one. I will try and keep posting on SR if I feel I need encouragement, support, or someone to stop me if I waver... x
To everyone going through tough memories and sad times as Christmas comes around, I wish you strength. Apologies if I don't always stop to give support expressly but I do appreciate how hard this time of the year can be for many. (I do have my own issues about expressing feelings involving sadness and grief ... but that's not something for this post.)
Day 9 for me. Tough couple of days. Had severely moody periods at work yesterday, even though it wasn't particularly stressful.
I can only assume I am anxious about the trip home tonight ... so many triggers to face. For starters, travel for me often involves loads of free booze, at the lounge, on the plane, all literally served up on a tray. Then I have a day tomorrow saying goodbye to my soon-to-be ex (the relationship was bad but he is not ... he is a good man, the love of my life, but I need to walk away and put him in the "not going back there" compartment). Then I'm seeing my family on Christmas Eve and spending the holidays with them. My mum might be emotional seeing me - I'm anxious about that. My siblings understand I'm not drinking but they do drink - they've promised to support me and not to ask me to drink but I will be around it.
I have techniques and strategies for each trigger. I really feel I can do it. One day at a time and I won't be overwhelmed.
Stay on track through Christmas everyone and have a great one. I will try and keep posting on SR if I feel I need encouragement, support, or someone to stop me if I waver... x
Just entering week four now. Had one craving this afternoon when I checked into quite a boring hotel in a boring part of town and saw they had my favourite beer on draft. In the past that certainly would have been 10+ pints and writing off the rest of the day and the following morning. This time actually I didn't want to waste the time and also ruin tomorrow. I am starting to get used to productive mornings. All going pretty well and no real desire to drink thank god.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 189
This is day 12 for me today. Hardest so far emotionally. I keep fighting with AV. She's really working hard to try to convince me that a drink or two, or nine, would be great. That I would feel so much better.
I try to keep my chin up. I smile and tell jokes, but inside, I'm just plain sad. I know that one glass of wine would feel so good. I also know one glass of wine will inevitably lead to more. I don't want to wake up tomorrow more depressed than I am today.
My husband is hard on me. It hurts. He says he's simply trying to support me, but what he is really doing is blaming me for my past mistakes, omissions, etc. I try to talk to him, but the conversation always goes to what I've done wrong, not what I'm doing right. He doesn't understand what I'm going through; how hard it is for me to stay sober. He just doesn't understand, and it is so hard for me to explain my shame and guilt without him turning it into some plight against him.
I simply don't want to talk to him about it anymore. But if not him, then who?
I am grateful that I have SR. That I have you all.
I try to keep my chin up. I smile and tell jokes, but inside, I'm just plain sad. I know that one glass of wine would feel so good. I also know one glass of wine will inevitably lead to more. I don't want to wake up tomorrow more depressed than I am today.
My husband is hard on me. It hurts. He says he's simply trying to support me, but what he is really doing is blaming me for my past mistakes, omissions, etc. I try to talk to him, but the conversation always goes to what I've done wrong, not what I'm doing right. He doesn't understand what I'm going through; how hard it is for me to stay sober. He just doesn't understand, and it is so hard for me to explain my shame and guilt without him turning it into some plight against him.
I simply don't want to talk to him about it anymore. But if not him, then who?
I am grateful that I have SR. That I have you all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Day 10. Morning from the land down under, where the folk are friendly but the airports are abysmal.
Made it through the flight. Had a supportive friend in the lounge with me who made sure I drank nothing but herbal tea and water. Got on the flight, watched a movie and slept.
None of the in-flight movies interested me except for the Amy Winehouse documentary. (Funny that.) A tragic and touching story about a once in a generation talent lost to personal demons and addiction. Tony Bennett said he would have told her if he could to stick it out - life will eventually teach you how to live it.
Now waiting to be picked up for what will be a poignant day. Better to face it sober.
Am thankful for SR to express my thoughts... Have a great day.
Made it through the flight. Had a supportive friend in the lounge with me who made sure I drank nothing but herbal tea and water. Got on the flight, watched a movie and slept.
None of the in-flight movies interested me except for the Amy Winehouse documentary. (Funny that.) A tragic and touching story about a once in a generation talent lost to personal demons and addiction. Tony Bennett said he would have told her if he could to stick it out - life will eventually teach you how to live it.
Now waiting to be picked up for what will be a poignant day. Better to face it sober.
Am thankful for SR to express my thoughts... Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
forabetterlife ... Your post about your father was heart rending. It reached across the anonymity of this forum and touched me. I hope your fathers spirit touches you in a positive way this Christmas.
Vona, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your husband - I hope he can move past his own hurt to help you both get to that brighter future.
ubnt, your story made me smile. Enjoy your tropical Christmas.
X
Vona, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your husband - I hope he can move past his own hurt to help you both get to that brighter future.
ubnt, your story made me smile. Enjoy your tropical Christmas.
X
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 30
Today is day 18 for me! 
I really have not had any cravings so I feel really fortunate. It will be one of my gratitude items during my prayers tonight.
Thanks everyone for being here and sharing.....another gratitude item. Wow! I really have much to be grateful for! It gets easier each day.
I really have not had any cravings so I feel really fortunate. It will be one of my gratitude items during my prayers tonight. Thanks everyone for being here and sharing.....another gratitude item. Wow! I really have much to be grateful for! It gets easier each day.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
