Class of December 2015 Pt 2
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Originally Posted by abraxas69 
Hi everyone, hope you're doing well. Embarking on my 4th weekend... tonight is one of the evenings I dreaded when I first posted here just over 3 weeks ago. SO is out at her works Christmas party and will be drinking heavily. Thought I'd be jealous and in turn would falter - the fact of the matter is nothing could be further from the reality.
Looking forward to an evening to myself playing some xbox and watching some tv or a movie. Throw in a some antipasti, a rib-eye steak, and if I've any room some Ben & Jerrys ice-cream.... :-)))
Which is exactly the sort of evening I used to look forward to when my SO was out for the evening. But by about 8pm I'd be no longer capable of concentrating on even the most basic of games or movies, so that would go out the door. I'd have my steak yes, but ask me the next morning whether I'd enjoyed it and I wouldn't be able to honestly answer the question.
The last few weeks haven't always been easy, certainly not. But tonight I am very much enjoying the benefits of sobriety :-)))
Take care everyone
Looking forward to an evening to myself playing some xbox and watching some tv or a movie. Throw in a some antipasti, a rib-eye steak, and if I've any room some Ben & Jerrys ice-cream.... :-)))
Which is exactly the sort of evening I used to look forward to when my SO was out for the evening. But by about 8pm I'd be no longer capable of concentrating on even the most basic of games or movies, so that would go out the door. I'd have my steak yes, but ask me the next morning whether I'd enjoyed it and I wouldn't be able to honestly answer the question.
The last few weeks haven't always been easy, certainly not. But tonight I am very much enjoying the benefits of sobriety :-)))
Take care everyone
I nearly threw in the towel last night, but I have to say that your post primarily was the root cause for me to abstain. Thank you for pushing forward because you inspired me last night. My AV is reminding me of the holidays and to be jolly.
I'm trying very hard to make this my normal routine. You know, spending time with my wife and son, cooking, laughing, showing affection. I'm just feeling a little anxious though.
My son and I like to play Xbox as well, but we watched Christmas movies instead last night. Funny, we had some B&J ice-cream in the freezer. I added some Hershey's chocolate syrup and whip cream and that was it. That did me in for sure.
So, onward at day (18). Have a nice sober weekend gang!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 379
Good morning! It is in fact evening here in Scotland though, and I've just come back from a run in the dark 
Just checking in here - I haven't been around much, busy with Christmas, but I just throught I'd pop in to say I'm doing well and am just finishing up Day 17. I've got a good exercise plan in place, which is really helping my mood. Today I stocked up on loads of soft drinks for Christmas. Things will be harder once my mother gets here, but if I focus on the exercise and how far I've come, I'm confident I'll be okay.
Just checking in here - I haven't been around much, busy with Christmas, but I just throught I'd pop in to say I'm doing well and am just finishing up Day 17. I've got a good exercise plan in place, which is really helping my mood. Today I stocked up on loads of soft drinks for Christmas. Things will be harder once my mother gets here, but if I focus on the exercise and how far I've come, I'm confident I'll be okay.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 137
Just completing day 4 here...10.30 at night and still....having a nasty bug makes quitting easier.....i gagged last time I had some water vso dont think I could drink beer if I tried. Hopefully better soon and can start to enjoy xmas.
Good luck to everyone in the december thread and stay strong.
Good luck to everyone in the december thread and stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Getting through today. I am very emotional, last night and today. I must have cried ten times in the past 24 hours. Mostly about my father. My first Christmas without him, and we are coming up on one year since we lost him , and, of course, I feel it all so much more when I am sober. I cry when I drink sometimes but it's almost like a numb, useless cry, if that makes any sense.
I didn't really consider drinking today, but that doesn't mean I didn't think of how much I would love some red wine to just take the edge off. And ruin 6 days of not drinking, and make me sleep horribly, and cause me to hate myself tomorrow morning and feel guilty and stuck all over again. And because of all of that the the fact that I drank so why not just keep it going until Christmas, I'd be on a full blown binge all week. Sounds like fun- NOT>
Ugh, why do we want something that has proven itself time and time again to only hurt us?
I didn't really consider drinking today, but that doesn't mean I didn't think of how much I would love some red wine to just take the edge off. And ruin 6 days of not drinking, and make me sleep horribly, and cause me to hate myself tomorrow morning and feel guilty and stuck all over again. And because of all of that the the fact that I drank so why not just keep it going until Christmas, I'd be on a full blown binge all week. Sounds like fun- NOT>
Ugh, why do we want something that has proven itself time and time again to only hurt us?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Originally Posted by Jenses
I really appreciated this forabetterlife. You captured my feelings this week. Christmas is a celebration in our family which means drinking. I went out for a xmas get together last night and although only 2 of the 6 were drinking, I found myself envious of them - until I crawled into bed with an herbal tea and realized that going to bed sober is now as good or even better than waking up sober!
But I fall into that very same trap of "I deserve it" which is so hard to break. I am working through that myself and the only thing that has helped is addressing my all-or-nothing approach. I work myself to the bone and then want to nurture myself - or go numb - which brings on the I deserve it argument. Instead I am trying the 50/50 approach (been reading The Art of Extreme Self-Care) so I am hoping that this will help with treating myself like a work horse and avoiding the consequential urge to shut down.
And yes I love all the rambles. Let's not call them ramblings - let's call them Brief Uninterrupted Moments of Shared Introspection! BUMOSI! Err that's a horrible acronym - but you know what I mean lol
But I fall into that very same trap of "I deserve it" which is so hard to break. I am working through that myself and the only thing that has helped is addressing my all-or-nothing approach. I work myself to the bone and then want to nurture myself - or go numb - which brings on the I deserve it argument. Instead I am trying the 50/50 approach (been reading The Art of Extreme Self-Care) so I am hoping that this will help with treating myself like a work horse and avoiding the consequential urge to shut down.
And yes I love all the rambles. Let's not call them ramblings - let's call them Brief Uninterrupted Moments of Shared Introspection! BUMOSI! Err that's a horrible acronym - but you know what I mean lol
I love BUMOS!
Jenses, you hit the nail on the head with all or nothing thinking. It also gets me into trouble when I trick myself into carrying that over into drinking. Drinking is the one and only area where all or nothing is the only way. I can go off my diet, or skip exercise, or blow off house cleaning, or procrastinate some tasks...and it will all be ok.....as long as I don't drink. Drinking must be my all or nothing and let the rest fall into place.
The book, Art of Extreme Self Care, sounds interesting. I am going to check it out, thank you
Good job making it through the dinner without drinking. Going to bed and waking up sober is the ultimate reward!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Drinking is the one and only area where all or nothing is the only way. I can go off my diet, or skip exercise, or blow off house cleaning, or procrastinate some tasks...and it will all be ok.....as long as I don't drink. Drinking must be my all or nothing and let the rest fall into place.
Hi everyone. Day 7 is starting for me. Sleep has finally come and it's the sleep of the dead, especially in the mornings. I take it my body is doing some deeper healing - it feels like it.
Having a busy weekend - which is good. Gym, massage, yoga - lots of me time. Went to a classical music concert last night on a friend's invitation. I'm not into classical music in a big way but I do appreciate it from time to time. Last night we heard a full orchestra play a Tchaikovsky symphony. It was beautiful to hear such fine music in person when fully sober, but in the middle of it all my AV piped up to say that it would be even better if I was half buzzed! And I even gave this some thought! Jeepers.
I have some more alone time today. I want to get around to starting to write out my recovery plan ahead of going on holidays and travelling. I have the ideas swimming around in my head but need to get it on paper.
Have a great day everyone. Stay strong and on track.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Originally Posted by beautifulpines
I've felt sad all day, crying off and on - but have to say it's real crying from the pit of my being. Afterwards there is some relief. The tears feel good, because I can feel them.
Last night we went to dinner and to see Christmas lights. I was with my 2 daughters, my older daughter's boyfriend, and my stepmom- the people I love and cherish more than anything. Yet, I felt a gutteral sadness I cannot describe. Not only that, but I felt so uncomfortable just being out in public and in a new surrounding- I have been noticing a pattern with this as well. The only place I feel comfortable and secure is in my own home, and in my regular routine. This is all new to me, and I'm not sure how it developed.
I haven't have my usual "cravings", but there has been a huge desire to drink and push it all away. But that is what got me to this point and it clearly hasn't served me very well, so it's time for things to change.
I have been fortunate that my drinking hasn't caused me major financial, legal, job, family or relationship problems YET, but I am seeing very clearly what it has done to ME.
Glad to see so many of us pushing through, even on this holiday week. Even though the board has been a little slow lately, I am grateful for all of you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 15
New Guy Here
So my quit date is December 18, last drink was the 17th. Not sure how you all count days but I am clearly pretty fresh on this effort. Had stops (temporary) before but never quits and each time I restarted it was way worse. More quantity, riskier behavior. Drinking since teens, binging always, consistent daily for last 13. Currently, 42 years young. Right now I am going through the phase of finding it unimaginable to ever have fun again. I am trying to convince myself I am so much more fun as a Dad, husband, friend when I drink. I was high functioning but that was getting lower.
Plan is to focus on health and fitness even harder. I have Antabuse started to take the daily mental debate out of my mind. Need to make myself understand I will be better for others and able to be happy and have fun again and I should be tip top.
Thanks for sharing your stories... They inspire. Good luck to you all.
Plan is to focus on health and fitness even harder. I have Antabuse started to take the daily mental debate out of my mind. Need to make myself understand I will be better for others and able to be happy and have fun again and I should be tip top.
Thanks for sharing your stories... They inspire. Good luck to you all.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 397
Day 3 for me, feeling ok. It's going to be a stressful week so I'm getting mentally prepared. If make it through this, I figure it's all downhill from there. Well, there's New Years, but let's face it New Years is probably overrated anyway and just an excuse to party.
Enjoy your day everyone
Enjoy your day everyone
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 189
Welcome, Nowwhat. Congrats on day one, and your choice to come to SR! You WILL have fun sober. I promise. It just takes a little time. I just went to two office parties this weekend and had fun. Stick with it! The sober road is bumpy with lots of potholes, but there are also the smooth sections. Keep posting and keep reading.
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