bluedog97

I can relate starsailor. I have a lot of regrets and feel like people know of my struggles. I actually have a fear of quitting though too. I need to work through this to grow and move on.

starsailor

How do we remove this fear of quitting bluedog? I feel like I'm caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I know in my heart of hearts I must stop but I'm so fearful too

bluedog97

Good question star. I think opening up about the fear is a good start. I'm a guarded person and have trouble opening up. I've been to AA meetings before and could not bring myself to telling them my struggles. This board helps with that. Let's not drink today and get started on this. 👍

biminiblue

starsailor, I find most people are more than willing to forgive the past. I hope you will learn to forgive yourself and move forward. I've heard it said that it's okay to take a peek in the rear-view mirror, but don't stare! It's not the direction I'm going.

I had a lot of fear and anxiety in early sobriety. Stay the course and it gets better, day by day. Part of it is just the physiological healing that is going on in your brain and nervous system.

enfinthechange

Hi everyone, technically I should be here. .. I started in November so joined them, but after 26 hard won days I blew it for a few days of beer and wine. Nothing spectacular , just sad really..... and now I feel flat and crap. 3 days sober again. .. I really really want to drink now as I just feel such a failure. ... so may as well give in. But I know that's not the way, so I'm moaning to a whole new bunch of people... sorry! Attempt 4...
Lets see how this one goes! Will try other angles too this time....
Hope everyone here is doing well and is conquering each minutes with a sledgehammer! All the best.... Enfin x

Tick

Star sailor, I can relate to your fear of either way you turn. In my sober head I know life was heading to a dead end but I'm scared of a life without my "best friend". Most of my interests had some connection to alcohol or so I feel. I've gotten to 6 months before and never felt that happiness others talk about. Hopefully as time progress so will my fear of quitting decrease.

enfinthechange

I feel the same, hence the relapses. .. I can be so sure I want to be sober... then so entranced by my old darling I fall back into their arms with no hesitation, and the romance continues till they unceremoniously dump me again..... I guess the more sober time on the clock the better, and less in love with the old promises of fun and fulfillment. ... I hope anyway!

bluedog97

I think it's difficult to let go of the thrill of alcohol. And often the accompanying lifestyle. There's an allure to it. I beginning to let go of a lot of that. I'm starting to come to grips with not just quitting, but becoming and identifying as a non-drinker. This is a big step, I think, especially with the social pressure and glamorizing of it. I grew up believing drinking and going to parties and whatnot was cool. I just don't want to be like that anymore.

biminiblue

I think it's really important to not go down that path of romanticizing alcohol.

Whatever thoughts I allow to percolate in my head become my reality. I've decided to stop drinking. Any thoughts to the contrary are my addiction speaking, not my rational self. I cannot allow myself to dwell on these thoughts, that gives them power.

There is no good reason for drinking. Not one.

There is more discussion along these lines in the Secular Connections section of Sober Recovery.

enfinthechange

You're right of course,

but after 25 years of romanticising it, it being glamorised every where, advertised everywhere, everyone backing up your (false) belief it's fun and cool... it's hard to step out of that reality. ..

especially when it's still going on all around you. All my friends still drink lots and go on and on about the fun times. . It's on telly every 5 minutes, in every novel, on every street, my parents drink , my students drink, my neighbours drink....they all appear to be having great fun. ...

I know I am making the right choice and may even know sober people and have sober friends one day... but I just haven't been able to fully adjust YET. ... if i just keep trying I will no longer believe the lies and falsehoods peddled by these people.

I will be happy and sober.

My choices will be mine and I will once again rule my world... well for the first time since I was a kid anyway!

Thanks bim, u make me think about stuff and it always helps! X

WhenInDoubt

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm on day 2. Glad to be a part of December!

Jane8

Welcome! I'm on day 2 as well.
I'm glad you're here.

bluedog97

Welcome to the newcomers and returners (myself included). It's difficult to reach out and admit how you've been living, but it sure is a relief.

Tick

Count me in on day 2

ChickChick

Welcome WhenInDoubt, Jane8 and other newcomers! I love seeing the class with many members.

Just made it through the library and afternoon shopping with the kids. AV tried to tempt me to buy some beer on the way home. I am so glad I resisted. Got some decaf coffee to drink and am working on making chili for dinner. It's been a good day. A tinsy bit in shock at how much damage that deer did to my car last night! But insurance should take care of most of it, so I'm not stressing about it. I'm sure a week ago it would have been a good excuse to drink.

Great discussion going on here this afternoon. Bimini I love your posts!

Dee74

welcome Youcangetthere, WhenInDoubt, Jane8, Tick, & enfin

D

Dee74

It's a scary thing...but it's not a totally blind leap of faith...there are many here who've made the leap and it's turned out OK...better than OK.

As crappy as my life was , I was scared to leave it...but I'm glad I did.

The life I lead now is the difference between living and simply existing

D

CuteNGayYay

Welcome All to the newbies! As someone who's had a year before (the best year out of the last 10) I'm here to say it's worth it. I gotta get back to that. December is a great start. I can actually say I've been sober the last few New Years eves. It's easier than u think. . And so much nicer to wake up New Years Day and enjoy the first day of a brand new year.. A brand new life. Let's do this.

Dee74

For anyone here who's new - we usually close threads at 500 posts - it stops things getting too unwieldy

The thread carries on tho - please join us here for part 3:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...15-pt-3-a.html

D