Healthygoals

Busy busy day at work. Its stressful. Trying so hard to not think about an after work drink!

canguy

Morning all

Thanx for support......but was determined to make it to son's sport final. So glad I did, he starred. It was great to be able to be present for it.

Also determined to make it to this morning. Day 40. There's no way you could give up on the afternoon of day 39......

Sober day and on to the weekend everybody.

patricia68

Are you spending lots of time in front of the computer/tablet/phone?
Maybe you need glasses or new glasses?

I hope you feel better soon!

ultradad

Made it back from the party and man was that rough!!! As expected, every gift except two was some type of alcohol. My wife and I didn't participate so that wasn't an issue, but just seeing and hearing all the ruckus made it difficult. I remember last years party was a breeze, didn't faze me at all...Wow, I've sure fallen a long ways! Anyway, left there determined to stop and get some beer. My wife simply asked me to please reconsider and for some reason, maybe because I'm simply exhausted, I didn't stop. So, here I sit. I'm about to leave for work and realized I won't be able to attend the meeting after all due to my son having an event. I think I'm okay for tonight...I hope, but tomorrow is another day. I have got to get a grip! I usually go for my long runs on the weekend, but with the injured foot I'm stuck doing nothing and that's not a good place for me!!! Anyway, promised I'd come on here when cravings hit so just sharing with you all...hope it get's better, I know it will if I can just make it a few weeks!

enfinthechange

Last day of term thank god...am exhausted and worn out, sad and lonely. .. all I wanted to do all day is drink... I got give loads of booze, everyone was drinking after work... I went to the pub a nd had lime and soda... score (dressed as and elf still )....
My husband asked me to buy wine... so I did and planned on drinking too. But I just watched to see how it made him... not much difference ... so I put the kettle on. I'm going to have a bath.
I got my parenting book through today, so I can learn independently how to be a god mum... he just caught me reading it and rolled his eyes in derision.... sheesh....

We also talked a bit about the holidays and my not drinking... he says I got to do what I got to do.... true enough. No emotional support at all. This sucks ... I dream and imagine he will say something else, hug me , love me ... but no. It's been weird for ages .. before I made my drunken mistake... . My heart hurts when I think of it and I don't know how to change it or make it better... especially since I did wrong. But I did actually realise drinking would make it worse... progress! !! I may hate myself and not be able to make this OK, I mag be rubbish at everything. But I didn't drink over it! Score!

Thanks guys...

I did have a fag today... usually only smoke when drunk... but I needed something just to have... so that's not so good huh....sorry.

enfinthechange

Well done...power through... I did that too.. maybe there is hope of a different way to be after all ultra dad. ... maybe there is hope. Just one victory at a time! Have a cuppa and a choccie!!! Well done x

patricia68

I know how much it hurts enfin. I'm in a similar situation. I'm still learning how to deal with this, so I don't have much advice. But one thing I know, I always feel better when I stop being so hard on myself. When I do simple little things just for me. We need to learn to love ourselves again. We are worth it

SwimKim12

Enfin and Ultradad, I'm sorry you are both having a really hard time. But the great news is regardless of how horrible you feel and how close you came to drinking, you didn't. That is progress!

Ultradad, I've been there with injuries too. Is there a different activity you can do like aqua jog, bike, or yoga? Something to get the blood flowing? The good news is your body will heal itself much faster while you aren't drinking. I also found that taking a step back and knowing it's not a permanent thing helps me get through.

Enfin, you are absolutely worth it. I know it's been said before, but once you can love yourself, love from others will follow. Keep focusing on you and the little things you can do for yourself, like eating well and getting enough sleep. Again, you should be proud of yourself for not drinking. That in and of itself shows the love you have for yourself.

canguy

Enfin, ultradad......hang in there. The fog will lift......but you have to go through it to get there. You're making progress......

snowvelvet

Well done Ultradad and Enfin for getting through it.

Someone poster earlier about dealing with the depression and feelings when sober and knowing that drink will in no way help. It will only make it worse. I now realise that I wanted respite from my head, but all it did was deteriorate.

I had a good meeting this evening. A lady introduced herself as we went round, (in my meetings we all go round and introduce and say hi, I'm Snowvelvet, I'm an alcoholic etc) and she said hello and said she was here to get help for her Son.

It was a poignant reminder of how far reaching my drinking was. I deluded myself for a long time it just hurt me, since I drank alone. Of course, that's not true. I was just too blind to know or care I may be worrying my parents and partner senseless.

I did get the gold eyeliner too. Just to make you laugh, the shop is called Lush and they sell natural but highly scented bath and beauty products.

An alcoholic shopping in Lush. You couldn't make it up, eh?

Dee74

I can absolutely assure you guys that the fog the headaches and the 'blah' greyness of early recovery will lift and disappear.

don't despair and don't look backwards - there's nothing back the way we came

D

Fabat50

Hi everyone. Am flying home tomorrow and will only have limited access to internet so I want to take this opportunity to wish our November bunch happy holidays, merry Xmas, fun, health, peace and above all sobriety.

I am 40/41 ish days sober.. starting to count the days less now. Am mostly on top of things. Slight wobble today. A friend of mine who is a lawyer sent me an email saying that he was wavering his fees for a recent job he did for me and I should just send him a great case of wine. I felt strong enough to hit the wine shop to chose him a nice present. All was going well until the end. I asked the guy to gift wrap the case of wine for me. He was taking ages and I was standing around looking at the tray of wines that were all open for wine tasting my the customers. I just had this suddent urge to grab one and pour it down my throat like a mad woman. I was getting really antsy and thought a wine tasting session might be OK because I can always taste and spit! But then I came to my senses. I did have to tell the guy who was wrapping that I needed to go outside and make a phone call!

All the best to all. Look forward to swapping success stories in the new year!

bblackbirdflyy

Bad AV today. Expressed it to SO. He says "your just gonna fall off the wagon in a week anyway". (Christmas) NOT helpful.

ultradad

Enfinthechange, so awesome that you stayed sober through such a day! I couldn't imagine how hard getting sober would be if my wife actually drank around me. You know, we all make mistakes when drinking and you need to forgive yourself and move on, don't beat yourself up over the past. I think it's amazing that you are reading a parenting book! You really are making great progress and should be proud!!!

Dee, thanks for your wise words, they are always on point, as usual!

I made it back from work and actually feel at peace, it's been a while since I had a craving that strong that I didn't give into. Feels really good and promising to get through this, there is hope!!! Thanks everyone for your support! I'm making a pot of coffee and plan on settling in for a movie and a long nights rest : )

Dee74

Your SO is dead wrong BBF

D

ultradad

Thank's SwimKim and Canguy...Snovelvet, that is hilarious!!!

Dee74

Time for a new thread guys:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-7-a.html

D