Class of November 2015 Part 6
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
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Originally Posted by badger257 
Well... I made it to, just not through, day 34. :/ sorry guys.
KIR
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I think reaching out is so important....everyone knows the Jekll and Hyde struggle...but when Hyde wants to drink, it's up to our better selves to call in those reinforcements...
The important thing is you're back Badger
D
The important thing is you're back Badger
D
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by RedAndy
Feeling really good today - can't put my finger on it but it's like something has just clicked, got a spring back in my step that I've not had for the last month and also feel like I've got my confidence back somewhat. A couple of posts and threads that have resonated with me last night and got me thinking, also some further reading and everything just seems so much clearer and to make more sense. 15th Nov to 15th December have been somewhat of a roller coaster to say the least and I expect there's going to be more ups and downs along the way but I've definitely not had this feeling for a while and want to ensure its something I keep hold of and focus on. Ordered the book Rational Recovery also today which comes tomorrow so will be getting my head stuck into that, AV is not happy but who cares what he thinks, I am in control of this and will not be swayed under any circumstances - agree with you there Kiki, no letting the guard down !! Thanks to everyone who has helped me through what's been a somewhat difficult month, support / advice and general empathy on here has been fantastic, respect to all. I can guarantee you people who know me (the old me that is) would not expect any such words or thoughts to be typed by yours truly. I can categorically say I don't drink or do drugs anymore and never will.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by SwimKim12
RedAndy, congratulations on one month! I am glad to hear you are doing well. I woke up with the weight of what happened yesterday still on me. I'm scared to talk to my parents bc I know I'll just cry the whole time and probably make them cry and I don't do well with crying! But I have to tell them bc my insurance doesn't cover mental health services so I may need them to help me pay for the psychiatrist. Deep breath! I will be okay. Okay, time to get to work. Have a great day everyone!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi, All. Quick check in tonight. Doing good, not great, not bad - but I'll take it!
Dee, your post about recovery re-emphasized the fact that I need to do something different this time, or I am bound to be back on day 1. Telling my parents and seeing a psych (and going on these meds...) are new recovery tools I'm using this time around. It is all for the better. I want to beat this disease!
I hope you all have a good one...if we haven't heard from you in a few days check in and let us know how you're doing
Dee, your post about recovery re-emphasized the fact that I need to do something different this time, or I am bound to be back on day 1. Telling my parents and seeing a psych (and going on these meds...) are new recovery tools I'm using this time around. It is all for the better. I want to beat this disease!
I hope you all have a good one...if we haven't heard from you in a few days check in and let us know how you're doing
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by patricia68
Good morning. My husband and I had another argument yesterday, we even discussed divorce this time. I don't even know what to think anymore...I feel like I'm witnessing a car crash in slow motion... Trying to find something positive in all this madness...I am sober, I can think clearly...and even though I still have anxiety, it's not the paralyzing panic I used to feel while I was drinking. My whole world is falling apart but at least my body is healing and I'm stronger. Maybe all these years of drinking destroyed my marriage, maybe it was already broken and I didn't see it because I was drinking...I don't know. I'll try to leave the past behind today and focus on healing and being sober right here right now...
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Guess what my secret santa got me? ??? 3 bottles of real ale. I left them at work. Made me laugh though as I went from there to my first alcohol counselling appointment! !!!
Take that AV!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by badger257
Thanks guys. I let the boredom/loneliness get to me today. Should have reached out here first. Was like I lost my mind and couldn't control it. I dumped the rest, but still feel like I failed yet again. 
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Just keep focusing on your own recovery Patricia & everything will work out! AA advises that we don't make any major changes in the first year. I'm not sure if you go to AA but it doesn't matter because it's still great advice! Can you try to "shelf" the husband stuff and look at it again this time next year? Do you think you could ask your husband if you guys could just "give each other a break" for a while? Maybe tell him you are trying to work on some things and just want to try to get along (or at least not fight)? Just a thought. :-) You're doing great!!!
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Day 38 here too.
Back on the bike, Badger....
Could have chucked it there for a few moments there too.....a HALT day all round. Hot, long sh***y day....just wanted to walk out and buy some cold green bottles. The reptile mind starts running the calculations.....the justifications. I'm bored with my own company every night...feeling flat....end of the year.....everyone else is having a 'good time'......besides I'm sick of waking up in the morning feeling good about the day, I've probably had enough of that quiet couple of hours before work with the coffee when I get stuff done. Being able to get in the car and drive somewhere when I want is probably wearing off too.....and I'm missing traipsing around all the local bottleshops for another round of supplies served up by the knowing counter guys. Really missing dragging myself listlessly thru the long days at work just so I can get home shut the door and drift off for a few hours. .......been ages since I had a really good sweaty night too.....
.....okay. Think I'll be ok tonite. Make cold fresh sushi later. No chocolate in 3 days either.
Sat is day 40, Monday is 6 weeks and today week is halfway to 90 days.....my goal.
Post here first. I did. It's a good idea.
Back on the bike, Badger....
Could have chucked it there for a few moments there too.....a HALT day all round. Hot, long sh***y day....just wanted to walk out and buy some cold green bottles. The reptile mind starts running the calculations.....the justifications. I'm bored with my own company every night...feeling flat....end of the year.....everyone else is having a 'good time'......besides I'm sick of waking up in the morning feeling good about the day, I've probably had enough of that quiet couple of hours before work with the coffee when I get stuff done. Being able to get in the car and drive somewhere when I want is probably wearing off too.....and I'm missing traipsing around all the local bottleshops for another round of supplies served up by the knowing counter guys. Really missing dragging myself listlessly thru the long days at work just so I can get home shut the door and drift off for a few hours. .......been ages since I had a really good sweaty night too.....
.....okay. Think I'll be ok tonite. Make cold fresh sushi later. No chocolate in 3 days either.
Sat is day 40, Monday is 6 weeks and today week is halfway to 90 days.....my goal.
Post here first. I did. It's a good idea.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Good morning class, first cup of coffee going, yawn!
Canguy I laughed about your long HALT day, that was mine yesterday too and thoughthe drinking thoughts of my AV arrived from time to time I shut it down. Mind you I wasn't laughing at you, it was a laugh to commiserate with you. Congrats on staying sober!
Every day that I wake up early and clear headed like today I literally think "why the hell wouldn't you want to wake up like this every day? "
Canguy I laughed about your long HALT day, that was mine yesterday too and thoughthe drinking thoughts of my AV arrived from time to time I shut it down. Mind you I wasn't laughing at you, it was a laugh to commiserate with you. Congrats on staying sober!
Every day that I wake up early and clear headed like today I literally think "why the hell wouldn't you want to wake up like this every day? "
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
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Acknowledging that my mr. Hyde is speaking to me (thanks Dee I think it sounds more scary than AV)
This is me posting first, sadly I've find myself planning again...On sunday I will go away for Christmas. To be with my family in a cottage on an isolated island...without liquor stores and a very safe and relaxing environment.
Today I woke up feeling really depressed, I don't even want to meet the friends I planned to today. But I will. So today I am busy. On saturday I am busy. But tomorrow I am free...and I hear mr. Hyde telling me I should take "the opportunity" to let me get out of the depression for a day. Even if it gets worse afterwards.
I won't drink today, I am certain with that. I am just writing this to admit to myself what I am thinking. This is classic "planning" I do in my head. I hope to stay aware and will check in later.
Have a good sober day everyone!
I think it sounds more scary than AV)This is me posting first, sadly I've find myself planning again...On sunday I will go away for Christmas. To be with my family in a cottage on an isolated island...without liquor stores and a very safe and relaxing environment.
Today I woke up feeling really depressed, I don't even want to meet the friends I planned to today. But I will. So today I am busy. On saturday I am busy. But tomorrow I am free...and I hear mr. Hyde telling me I should take "the opportunity" to let me get out of the depression for a day. Even if it gets worse afterwards.
I won't drink today, I am certain with that. I am just writing this to admit to myself what I am thinking. This is classic "planning" I do in my head. I hope to stay aware and will check in later.
Have a good sober day everyone!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by Dee74
sounds like you have a good balance this time? D
Previous attempts to get sober always fell flat because I never addressed my past, nor made any major changes in my life other than cutting out the booze. This time I'm taking steps to deal with my past and have joined a running group to make new friends. I still think ill need to do more but already this is some change.
Day 25 here...have a great Thursday everyone! (Formerly thirsty Thursday for me which guaranteed 3-4 pints...sigh)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Glad you're back with us Badger.
I'm over my rubbish day. Thanks, Dee. I shared about it in my meeting last night. It's one of those things I drank on for a long time. Infertility. I struggle to accept that I cannot change it. But by God it hurts. It really hurts. It's not a defect or character flaw. It's inherent. I can't do a thing about it.
Day 43. This is the longest I've ever been now. I woke with a chronic headache and felt sick. Not even alcohol induced. I think it was something reminding me of how awful a hangover is... I have to laugh at that, I really do. The thought wasn't even there to drink, but it was a thoughtful reminder of how atrocious I felt for so long. Thankfully it has now passed with ibuprofen and lots of water.
Live Enfin's secret Santa...
Thoughts to all of you, wherever you are in the world. The 33 year old Brit girl thinks of you all.
I'm over my rubbish day. Thanks, Dee. I shared about it in my meeting last night. It's one of those things I drank on for a long time. Infertility. I struggle to accept that I cannot change it. But by God it hurts. It really hurts. It's not a defect or character flaw. It's inherent. I can't do a thing about it.
Day 43. This is the longest I've ever been now. I woke with a chronic headache and felt sick. Not even alcohol induced. I think it was something reminding me of how awful a hangover is... I have to laugh at that, I really do. The thought wasn't even there to drink, but it was a thoughtful reminder of how atrocious I felt for so long. Thankfully it has now passed with ibuprofen and lots of water.
Live Enfin's secret Santa...
Thoughts to all of you, wherever you are in the world. The 33 year old Brit girl thinks of you all.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
Just keep focusing on your own recovery Patricia & everything will work out! AA advises that we don't make any major changes in the first year. I'm not sure if you go to AA but it doesn't matter because it's still great advice! Can you try to "shelf" the husband stuff and look at it again this time next year? Do you think you could ask your husband if you guys could just "give each other a break" for a while? Maybe tell him you are trying to work on some things and just want to try to get along (or at least not fight)? Just a thought. :-) You're doing great!!!
So, 5 days in and already had an intense craving yesterday. Stress from my job and some major life changes just seem to swell up until it just felt like I 'needed' that beer to make it all go away! I played it all through though and realized it would only make things worse, as usual, and so shut the thought cycle down! I used to go two weeks easy without having strong cravings, the fact that they are coming sooner can't be good!!! Looking forward to my AA meeting on Friday night!
Have a great day everybody!
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