RedAndy

Tufty, hope all is well with your Mum mate and will be good to have all your girls around despite the unfortunate circumstances, sure you will all help your daughter pull through, also must be fun with an 18 month old around the place too - only seems five minutes since my daughter was that age, she's a summer baby too so her first proper Christmas was at 18 months old too, altho we spent that year in Oz, I walked virtually all the way from Manchester to Singapore with her round the plane !! was a great excuse to pick up a drink on the way past the serving area each time.

Does go so quick tho hey - I blinked and now she's 12 !!

Healthygoals

Late check in from work. Congrats on all the milestones and successes, hugs to those struggling, I feel your pain.

Not drinking today, doing well setting limits with extended family and holiday madness, yay me!��

Will check in later, stay sober peeps. ��

patricia68

Good morning. My husband and I had another argument yesterday, we even discussed divorce this time. I don't even know what to think anymore...I feel like I'm witnessing a car crash in slow motion...

Trying to find something positive in all this madness...I am sober, I can think clearly...and even though I still have anxiety, it's not the paralyzing panic I used to feel while I was drinking.

My whole world is falling apart but at least my body is healing and I'm stronger.

Maybe all these years of drinking destroyed my marriage, maybe it was already broken and I didn't see it because I was drinking...I don't know. I'll try to leave the past behind today and focus on healing and being sober right here right now...

Dallow

Patricia, I am sorry you are going through this with your husband. You are worth all respect for staying sober through this time! You are so strong!

I hope you and your husband with time can work something out that will make the both of you feel happier. I don't think you should think too much about what came first - the marriage problems or your drinking. For me, in similar situations I often tend to think it was a little bit of both, maybe a vicious circle.

The good thing is that you have taken alcohol from the picture. No matter what happens with you that is the basis for a good future for you! I'm sure it will work out alright!

Dallow

On a quick note - nothing says "sober evening" more for me than cooking a healthy meal and ACTUALLY cleaning up afterwards...Such a little thing can make such a big difference

snowvelvet

Day 42... once I get through today it will be the longest I've done since I was about 16. (Not that I was full on since then, but by then it was all about getting ready for the weekend, faking ID etc!)

Having a really, really ****** day. So I will read all today's posts and write a fuller message later.

enfinthechange

Aw, sos sorry to hear it's not going so well with husband... I am.in stasis here... not sure if that's good or bad.... but it's not changing! I wonder too of the drinking was to cover the wrinkles of the relationship.. and to not alow myself to analyse it..... until it went boom because of what I did. The wrinkles were becoming chasms before I had my drunken moment , but I could only admit that deep in my head and I the smallest hours. Now I'm trying to think logically about it.

I am trying to mentally compile a list; What I like about my husband. Now.... not 20 years ago... what I like about him now. Am hoping that will gain me some clarity on why I am still here. I want to want to be here, not just be obliged. I know what I want him to do and say, but I don't think he will!!!!

Just keep on being sober and keep thinking! Lots of good happy vibes xxx

enfinthechange

Guess what my secret santa got me? ???

3 bottles of real ale.

I left them at work. Made me laugh though as I went from there to my first alcohol counselling appointment! !!!

Dee74

you have to laugh sometimes enfin

Hope your day got better snowvelvet!

for me it was more about my motivations rather than who I told SM?

It would have been easy for me to tell noone and then, sometime, drink again, and then BS myself with the ol' "hurting noone but myself"line..

I wanted change not the same old same old.

Of course I went *way* overboard and told everyone...but at least I had no boltholes to hide in anymore.

Shining a light on our monsters kills them.

Doesn't have to be a flipping great searchlight like I used, but a little statement of intent and a little accountability can be useful IMO

sounds like you have a good balance this time?
D

badger257

Well... I made it to, just not through, day 34. :/ sorry guys.

blondsober

Stay with us Badge!

Dallow

sorry to hear that badger, but just get right back at it tomorrow! Have some water and dust yourself off, 34 days is still awesome - make it to a one day slip!

Dee74

what happened badger?

D

Dee74

something I saw in another thread:



D

Supertired

Hey badge, don't beat yourself up.
Be proud of 34 days and get right back at it

patricia68

That is so true Dee! Maybe that's why many of us relapse or replace one addiction with another.

badger257

Thanks guys. I let the boredom/loneliness get to me today. Should have reached out here first. Was like I lost my mind and couldn't control it. I dumped the rest, but still feel like I failed yet again.

ultradad

Sorry to hear that Badger! Keep fighting the battle, you're worth it! We're here for you and I know you can do it!!!

Healthygoals

Getting ready to call it a day soon. Stayed sober though the thoughts passed briefly through a time or 2, just ignored them.

See all of you in the morning.

Healthygoals

Good for you that you're right back here again and not giving up!