Arbor

I know jd. It's one of those meals where you could drink massive amounts while they cook. I used to purposely cook things like this that take a while on weekends just so I could drink. It was great sober because I modified my recipe and tried something new. I enjoyed eating them and the process so much more. 8)

3wolves

Not a fan of ribs. When we slaughter a calf, we give those away. At least they are enjoyed by someone. I do love a good steak!
It's going to be a long week. Only working four days, but they are all ten hour shifts. Wednesday I meet with Doc again. Looking forward to another good visit. Talking to her really helped me. I feel calmer. Came across a forgotten bottle of vodka in the cupboard. Immediately poured it out. No temptation. No regrets. Mr 3 just hugged me. I love him for the support. One of many reasons.
Sweet dreams all. Hope tomorrow is a good day for each of us.

entropy1964

Good Morning Class. Happy Sunday. So good to see everyone is posting.

Key Happy 90 days!

Kinzuko, I so relate to the chaos thing. Thing is, it was usually chaos I created either internally or externally. I have removed the external chaos by not drinking, but that internal desire to live in a whirlwind is still there at times. I live a pretty isolated life too, I do when drinking as well most of the time. I just don't 'feel' as isolated for some reason. Most of the time I enjoy isolation....but this bug will hit me, and I want to burn the town down (not literally). And of course, I'll be drinking. So it just isn't an option. I have to find more healthy ways of venting this energy....

So its Sunday morning. Drinking my bulletproof coffee (I started a Ketogenic diet a week ago)...its pretty good actually. I have a dr apt tomorrow to get new labs taken after 4 months of sobriety. I also have some new markers I want her to test. Daughter is doing great. Back is meh...hurting today but hopefully yoga will help.

Dealing with loneliness for sure. But I have to remind myself I'm only 3 months out of a serious relationship, only 4 months sober. Already the lonely times are less lonely and I'm feeling more settled. This will only improve over time. My volunteer stuff has been slow. I need to get another organization lined up...but I also don't want to over commit. The anniversary of the death of my hub is coming up so I want to really watch myself. Last year I ended up in the hospital, severe PTSD. But I know now what really caused that...kind of a perfect storm of events, and drinking. Never good for someone with PTSD...I'm in such a different place.

Anyway, have a great day. I recommend 3 minutes of deep breathing, eyes closed, 3 times a day. Try it. Its really rather amazing. And you can download meditative music apps for free on your phone. I know, sounds goofy, but you might be surprised. Peace everyone.

sobriiestote

Morning class!

Day 41 today, it will be 6 weeks tomorrow, wow!

Enjoyed a ribeye steak last night with some spinach and Roquefort cheese melted on it, yum! Got homemade lasagne tonight.

Been to the cinema to see PAN with the kids (new Peter Pan action movie) and loved it, kept up with it, wasn't restless, wishing it over or thinking about drink at all.

Amen!

matilda123

So funny, FF, you mentioned ribeye. We were going to do that last night, and ended up not, and honestly, I'm so glad we didn't. I'm not sure why, but I had convinced myself in my mind that if my partner opened a bottle of wine, I'd have a small glass. What? Where did that come from? And what made me think it would be a good idea. Thank god, I made it through that unscathed, but that made me nervous.

sobriiestote

Well done Matilda, it's funny but those close calls can really shake us up, even after the event. I'm doing the one day at a time thing fine but I still feel like it's on the horizon, just not now... I might try telling myself "a year sober" just to get it off the table. Thoughts?

Dee74

I was comfortable with 'forever' a long time before a year had passed FF...I hope you will be too

as for those thoughts and close calls...everyone has crazy thoughts...it's how we respond that counts...that the measure of our recovery IMO.

You did well I think, Matilda

D

OpenTuning

Hi SD, I was just checking to see how you're doing, as I remember those first posts of yours. So, so happy to see those sober days adding up like they are. And there's no way at all you're more boring sober. Just hang around a group of drunks for a few minutes to hear how "interesting" their conversations are

I've got kids around the same age. One of the biggest bonuses I feel about giving up alcohol is how much more I enjoy my time with them. Even when they're difficult, and it sounded like yours could be, how should I put this, challenging at times, it's so much easier to cope when you don't have a hangover.

Just wanted you to know how happy it makes me feel to see the progress you've made in turning your life around. You should feel very, very proud of yourself.

Philly

Good morning all,

I am from the class of July 2008. I have not been on this site since May of 2013. I try to stop by once in a while but the time flies by. I have not had a drink since 7/23/08. I did go to inpatient rehab for a week and outpatient for about 3 months because it was required from work but that allowed me to see the light.

Keep posting with those going through the same firsts as you. I did not use AA but this site was definitely my AA. I would not have made it without this site.

There is so much info in here. Great books to read to help you. I wish you all the best and just keep posting!

KeyofC

Hope everyone is doing well! I had a busy weekend. Havent been on SR very much. When My hubby is home I spend time with him. He is a trucker and is gone a few days out of the week. Also my big 90 was Sunday..so we celebrated with dinner and spending time with family. It was pretty awesome to have so much support! I'll catch up the next few days and get more personal with everyone again! Take care and stay strong in your recovery!

Arbor

I think the day at a time thing is the only way to go. Much of life is this way anyway especially if your a parent. I understand the feeling like its on the horizon. Just because we aren't drinking it doesn't mean our alcoholism isn't there.

I get that Dee was fine with the forever thing and I'm not sure how he went about his recovery, but for folks just starting out in September it's probably best to not think "forever" (with all due respect Dee).

matilda123

KeyofC, happy birthday! I hope that you had a fantastic day!!

Philly, thank you for the post. Very inspiring.

Arbor, I think I see what you mean about a day at a time. I also see, Dee, what you are saying about forever. For me, I wonder if that is part of the mindset switch I need to make. I've said this before, but it may be analogous to cigarettes for me. It was only when I accepted that I never could have a cigarette again (no chipping one when I was drinking, for example) that I could finally quit after many efforts. Something to mull.

At any rate, I wake up this morning 41 days sober, for which I'm grateful.

Have a great day everyone!

Dee74

Thanks for dropping in philly

and no worries Arbor - maybe I need to fill out my statement a little more

Some people do quit and think forever immediately - Rational Recovery is all about that - but I wasn't one of those guys.

I didn't start off thinking forever by any means.
It was day by day for me in the early days, sometimes hour to hour or minute to minute...

but eventually I had a long string of days behind me and forever didn't seem so daunting anymore

My change to thinking forever was well within a year, tho - I think the change was well underway by 3 months.

My point was - it's not always going to be like this - my recovery is not a day to day struggle anymore

D

3wolves

Thanks Dee for the insight. For me The WANT to drink is outweighed by needing to be present in all that is going on. I'm not ready to give up the sense of accomplishment I feel when I go to bed at night. With all the chaos in my world right now, I CAN control this. I log on SR several times a day, often just to read. I think reading the Family forums on SR has given me insight to how my own family may feel. Makes me tender in my approach with them. I don't speak of it, but I'm not asked. Bells ringing, I must be off!

matilda123

Hi all,

Had a truly horrendous day at work. Massive layoffs announced at a meeting today. I was not affected, but many friends were,.

I won't lie...the whole way home I could only think about winewinewine. I just ate a quarter of a pint of ice cream and am going to take to my bed. I don't trust myself to stay up.

sobriiestote

Matilda - that's horrid, nothing good about that at all, well done on choosing ice cream and bed, fine decision.

3 Wolves - yes although I'm thinking about drinking most days and I wish I wasn't, the desire is not immediate. I want to be present and who I am right now more than I want to be drunk. Maybe I need to plan a proper treat / reward / relaxation for myself as so often that's what I kidded myself drink was...

I've booked a one day stained glass craft workshop on 28th November but I'm thinking I need something else, sooner...

Off to my last brief intervention class this afternoon, we're going to be looking at urges and cravings, will share later if I get any good info!

Hang on everyone, we're really doing this!!

Juno11

Matilda, I'm sorry for the horrible day at work. Those situations can really make one want to stop at the wine shop on the way home. You handled it so well! You'll be so glad today -- no hangover to deal with on top of the bad situation at work.

I'm on Day 10 - finally joining the double digits club. I have been sabotaging myself everytime I get close to 10 days so this is a breakthrough. Have a busy day and night planned. Take care everyone!

matilda123

Thanks, FF and Juno. You are right: I do feel better equipped to deal with what is to come down the pipe.

matilda123

PS: Since I'm up at the crack of dawn (at least west coast time) I think I'll take the dogs for a long stroll and buy myself a nice cup of coffee Those silly dogs always make me feel better.

KeyofC

Been busy guys..hope everyone is doing great! Stay strong in your recovery and sobriety! Welcome to any new people to the group and congrats on those that the days are just adding up! You're doing great hang in there!