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Class of September 2015 Part 5

Old 10-30-2015, 11:09 AM
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Mr3 and I are heading home. Will be returning Dec 10, we are not missing minute of this trial. my grand is so very hurt. She told me yesterday that she didn't like me. I said that's okay, cause I LOVE you. That SOB expects her to testify....MORON. Who puts that responsibility on a 10 year old.??? Heaven help us all.
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Old 10-30-2015, 04:40 PM
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((hugs))) 3wolves. Family, ugh! We are actually staying home alone for both the holidays. Just too hard.

I'm feeling lousy right now, I have to admit. Tired, grumpy, on edge. blah And did I mention that I've gained 5 pounds since I quit drinking? What is up with that?
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Old 10-31-2015, 02:51 AM
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Matilda, lol, I can't believe I didn't lose weight when I stopped drinking wine for 6 weeks either, where's the justice in this world?!

Stay strong, I'm doing good, off to support group today, planning on drinking soup tonight, I might make some tmrw too...
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Old 10-31-2015, 04:57 AM
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Originally Posted by matilda123 View Post
((hugs))) 3wolves. Family, ugh! We are actually staying home alone for both the holidays. Just too hard. I'm feeling lousy right now, I have to admit. Tired, grumpy, on edge. blah And did I mention that I've gained 5 pounds since I quit drinking? What is up with that?
Sorry your not feeling well! Is pretty common early on from what I take it. Good thing is everyday is different. These feelings pass.

I also thought I'd loose more weight last year when I quit. Thing was i was eating a lot more sugar and deserts. Something I never did when I drank ( you get all your sugar from the alcohol). Anyways, I still crave sugar like a mad man now having stopped, but I keep it in line better. Just some thoughts.
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Old 10-31-2015, 05:11 AM
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Hey 3wolves, Matilda, foreverfuzzy, and Arbor. I'm glad to see you are all still here and doing well. I'll have a nice day here carving pumpkins with my wife and stepson this afternoon.
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Old 10-31-2015, 05:20 AM
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Doing well jd! That sounds like a nice day with the fam. Going to do some trick or treating with my son later. Pumpkins carved already. Looking to be a great day weather wise.
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Old 10-31-2015, 09:18 AM
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Now that I am home, I find the conversations my daughter and I had playing like a reel in my mind. While she has been in Grief therapy off and on, she seems to be a bit softer this last visit. She did sit down at the table with me and drink a pint of vodka. Then she started crying, spilling thoughts I'd not been privy to before. While she sobbed drunk, I held her hand sober. I felt sad that she had to get crocked to talk about her feelings. I never said that by the way. I haven't cremated a child, I won't pretend to know her pain, or stand in judgement. Maybe because I was sober I was able to REALLY HEAR HER. I have to ask myself if I can't change how I responded in the past, but I can be HERE and present for her now. I will be going back in 6weeks. I want him to see us there, supporting her and grand thru this.
Laundry buzzer going off...chores!
Thank you all, your words and posts have kept me going, even if I didn't post, I was reading. Prayers of peace to all.
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Old 11-02-2015, 04:01 AM
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Good morning everyone. I'm done with week 7 and on to week 8. Still going strong.
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Old 11-02-2015, 08:41 AM
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Nice work jd. I'm fifty or so days in. Feeling good although got hit with some challenges over the weekend. Glad I'm sober to deal with it all.

Hope everyone is doing well!
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Old 11-02-2015, 09:25 AM
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That's great Arbor. Sounds like I'm a few days behind you. Keep up the great work!
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Old 11-02-2015, 10:07 AM
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Must be loosing my mind..I could've swore I posted here this a.m.
I'll so it again!
3Wolves I am still praying for your family..(hug) Sounds like a tough situation, still.
It sounds otherwise everyone is doing well! I hope everyone had a nice weekend. I don't care much for Halloween, but I ignored it and it came and went and all is well!
Have a great Monday! Keep on going strong!
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Old 11-02-2015, 03:29 PM
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Back in harness. Hope everyone is doing ok - I'll catch up eventually

D
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Old 11-02-2015, 04:36 PM
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Hope everyone had a great Halloween, or fall festival. Time is flying by. So many things going on to keep me busy. Working all the hours I can get. My time off for these trips out of state is unpaid. Same for Mr3. Two out of six weeks bites into the budget.
Staying sober. It's easier than a month ago. The thought crosses my mind occasionally, yet I am not willing to go backwards. I feel a resolve that has been lacking in previous attempts. There is no arrogance in that statement. Mr3 says he sees a marked difference in my attitude. Less likely to get angry, he loves that I laugh more. He was apparently concerned that I would drink with our daughter. Congratulated me on my courage. His pride in me is a driving force for me to stay sober.
We have known a couple (j&l) for thirty years. Hadn't seen them in months. J came in today. I asked him how that crazy woman L was doing. He looks me in the eyes and said "the bitch is dead". Aghast, and apparently looking so, he went on to explain. July 6th they had a family "meeting". L was drinking and taking hydrocodone. Her family gave her an ultimatum. Go to rehab, THAT DAY, or J was moving out and kids, grands were done till she got clean. Everyone left, he went ten minutes down the road to pick up a check. He was gone a total of thirty minutes. When he returned, L was dead of a single self inflicted gunshot. My heart breaks for her family. He is SO angry. Their daughter....grandson....those hearts are shattered by addiction, in a way that will never be understood.
That's where y'all come in. Anonymous compassion, Kind words, pearls of wisdom.....it all matters when the addiction is crying for a fix.

We all matter.
Group hug.....
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Old 11-03-2015, 02:42 AM
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God 3 wolves. That's pretty shocking. I've thought about suicide many times and it still crosses my mind. I would never do it though because of my children. I do sometimes wish my life away though to the day when they are all gone and living their own lives and I only have to worry about myself.

I have put on loads of weight recently. I can't seem to stop eating and I have a really sweet tooth. I feel bloated and horrible and all of my clothes are tight. I've made a massive pan of vegetable soup today though and I'm hoping to get through today just on that without eating any chocolate or cake. My mood is still really low and I'm fighting tears much of the time. Food feels like a comfort but only when it's fatty/sugary. I bailed on a friend last night because I couldn't face an exercise class. Just lay in bed and moped and ate chocolate.

If I lived on my own I think I would be drinking again by now.

Everytime I come on here I'm moaning. Sorry about that! I can't talk to anyone and have no-where else to vent I guess.
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Old 11-03-2015, 02:50 AM
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I'm so sorry 3wolves.

D
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Old 11-03-2015, 04:20 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear that 3wolves. Hugs to you.
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Old 11-03-2015, 04:23 AM
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Hey charliesworld. Can you get out for a walk? Even if it's short? I find it helps my mood greatly. Even 15 minutes helps. I also suffer from depression.
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Old 11-04-2015, 03:57 PM
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How's it going this week jd?

What's up Matilda?

Doing well over here. Enjoying some warm weather in November not common in the northeast.
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Old 11-04-2015, 04:14 PM
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Doing pretty good here. I've had some depression the last couple of days but am working through it. We're having really warm weather for here too, Minnesota. I started doing 3 walks a day at work a few months ago, (2) 15 min. Mid morn and afternoon and a half hour over lunch. The weather is really helping that and it's good for the depression.
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Old 11-04-2015, 04:40 PM
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I work in retail and teach customer service. I have found that I am more engaged with people. I'm not just going thru nine hours to get to my wine. The holiday season is a booger eater. People as customers are generally frazzled and hurried. Not looking forward to that......maybe clear headed it will be better than last holiday.
Bought 2 turkeys today. Putting together Thanksgiving dinner boxes for two families. They are delivered anonymously, to families that a firefighter friend knows to be in need. We do the same at Christmas. The money we would have budgeted for our deceased grand gifts goes towards this. Giving in his memory. Crazy how just buying birds can bring a rush of emotions.....I started crying. Poor Mr3.......crazy site in big box store I'm sure.
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