Class of September 2015 Part 5
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I though I was fuelled by chaos too Kinzoku, but it turned out not to be the case 
I understand about control too - it's paradoxical but I felt drinking me had control too...
I was so deep into playing the role tho that it took me several months to realise that I'd forgotten there was a real me who existed before alcohol.
I thought I'd despise that person, but again I was wrong
give it time
D
I understand about control too - it's paradoxical but I felt drinking me had control too...
I was so deep into playing the role tho that it took me several months to realise that I'd forgotten there was a real me who existed before alcohol.
I thought I'd despise that person, but again I was wrong
give it time
D
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Thank The Heavens for a new day. Sun hasn't risen, but I know it will. I am alive and sober to see it. A bit of Grace is all I ask for today. I am off work the next two days. Will do what bits I can to prepare for our trip. I love going to the Smokey Mountains. Nights at home are in the 60s, there they are already in the 40s. The colors will be beautiful.
I hope a good day is had by all. Hope and hugs all around.
I hope a good day is had by all. Hope and hugs all around.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Kinzoku and 3wolves..hang in there. Different struggles but both needing support and prayers..(hug)
Hope everyone has a good Friday. Stay strong for the weekend...I'll include an extra prayer that everyone hangs onto their sobriety..weekends do get better. Keep on the path, you're doing great!
Hope everyone has a good Friday. Stay strong for the weekend...I'll include an extra prayer that everyone hangs onto their sobriety..weekends do get better. Keep on the path, you're doing great!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,328
Kinzoku, I, too, thought that I was fueled on chaos, but it was really a delusion. To be at peace feels so much better, and makes me available for whatever adventures I encounter.
Speaking of which, my partner is seriously considering exiting his stressful corporate job. The thought of 10 more years of it sucks his soul. He is a very deliberate person, and is going to talk to someone about life and happiness (he wants to make sure that the job is what is making him miserable) and, if he decides to do it, will formulate an exit strategy sometime in the next 6 months. In a former, drinking life, I'd be so riled with anxiety. But sober, I can look at this with excitement and hope. My partner is such a wonderful person with so many gifts that could benefit a wider range of folks than corporate America. And fortunately, we've saved enough that we can make this transition now in our mid-40s. We are truly lucky and blessed.
3wolves, I hope that the mountains are lovely. I do miss that aspect of living in the east.
Have a lovely day, all!!
Speaking of which, my partner is seriously considering exiting his stressful corporate job. The thought of 10 more years of it sucks his soul. He is a very deliberate person, and is going to talk to someone about life and happiness (he wants to make sure that the job is what is making him miserable) and, if he decides to do it, will formulate an exit strategy sometime in the next 6 months. In a former, drinking life, I'd be so riled with anxiety. But sober, I can look at this with excitement and hope. My partner is such a wonderful person with so many gifts that could benefit a wider range of folks than corporate America. And fortunately, we've saved enough that we can make this transition now in our mid-40s. We are truly lucky and blessed.
3wolves, I hope that the mountains are lovely. I do miss that aspect of living in the east.
Have a lovely day, all!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Well I haven't achieved much. Lost my footing this morning and took a good tumble. My knee is swollen but luckily that's all. My daughter was walking towards me when I fell. It felt good to make graceful cracks and know I was sober. She never asks. I don't volunteer information. I've have yet to make 90 days. That will be Christmas Eve. Maybe then I will say something. Who knows. My daughter that's 900 miles away has no clue of my struggle. We usually share a pint of moonshine. I won't this time tho. I can't. Bigger things to worry with on the horizon. Today, I stay sober. That will make me happy.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hope everyone is doing well. Hang in there 3Wolves. One more week til the 26th.
I've surprisingly haven't had any cravings since my last horrible binge, fueled by a massive fight with my teen daughter. I don't even think I wanted to drink last time - I think I just felt compelled to because I was feeling so bad. I hope that makes sense, but I see the folly of my thinking last time so that's good.
Anyway, through Day 6 and tomorrow is Day 7. I'm feeling strong and think that drinking is a poor response to any of life's problems! Or, maybe last time was just so horrible that I'm afraid to drink again. Either way, I don't want to drink anymore and I'm not going to Have a great sober night's sleep!
I've surprisingly haven't had any cravings since my last horrible binge, fueled by a massive fight with my teen daughter. I don't even think I wanted to drink last time - I think I just felt compelled to because I was feeling so bad. I hope that makes sense, but I see the folly of my thinking last time so that's good.
Anyway, through Day 6 and tomorrow is Day 7. I'm feeling strong and think that drinking is a poor response to any of life's problems! Or, maybe last time was just so horrible that I'm afraid to drink again. Either way, I don't want to drink anymore and I'm not going to
Have a great sober night's sleep!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: New England
Posts: 19
Feeling very grateful to be 49 days sober but having a rough nite. I came home around 5:30 tonite to find my fiance already drunk. He passed out 2 hours ago. We had a huge fight.... he probably won't even remember. It was about his drinking. Every weekend is the same, it is very hard. In the back of my mind, I know his bottle of rum is just sitting in the kitchen. I'm struggling now.
He knows he has a problem - we tried to get sober last year but it only lasted a month. If he was trying that would be different. He was drunk last night too, I made him sleep in the guest room. Sorry to vent, I don't know to do.
He knows he has a problem - we tried to get sober last year but it only lasted a month. If he was trying that would be different. He was drunk last night too, I made him sleep in the guest room. Sorry to vent, I don't know to do.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Capegirl..(hug) sorry you're having a rough time. My husband drinks and when I decided to get off that rollercoaster I had to place boundaries. Not saying he will always respect them, but he has so far and I'm 90 days tomorrow! Boundaries are good. I don't know if your partner would follow them or respect it enough for you to tell him how you feel..etc, but maybe think about it and what you can and can't deal with for your own sobriety. After all your sobriety is all about you. Just a thought.
Matilda, hope your partner finds some kind of peace..that's a hard decision after putting in all that time, but sometimes necessary. I did the same after spending 8 years..just got too much for me to handle on a daily basis and incompetent management.
3wolves..be careful with yourself! Hope you're doing ok and that healing comes to you fast.
Juno congrats on day 7! So proud for you and glad to see you're doing good (hug)
Have a great sober Saturday!
Matilda, hope your partner finds some kind of peace..that's a hard decision after putting in all that time, but sometimes necessary. I did the same after spending 8 years..just got too much for me to handle on a daily basis and incompetent management.
3wolves..be careful with yourself! Hope you're doing ok and that healing comes to you fast.
Juno congrats on day 7! So proud for you and glad to see you're doing good (hug)
Have a great sober Saturday!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
CapeGirl nice work on 49 days! That has got to be hard with a partner that is pass out drunk. Something will have to change there for the longevity of your sobriety. I wish you the best!
What's up Key?! Nice to have 90 days, yes?! You sound very positive which is fantastic. That's a big part I think. Trying to maintain that positive outlook on life when things even go bad. I've had three months in before, heck I've made it to nine months before so keep at it!
What's up Key?! Nice to have 90 days, yes?! You sound very positive which is fantastic. That's a big part I think. Trying to maintain that positive outlook on life when things even go bad. I've had three months in before, heck I've made it to nine months before so keep at it!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Thanks Arbor! I am very positive and it is a huge key component to me. I also guard my sobriety like it's Fort Knox..I'm serious. I am one of the lucky ones I guess. I haven't had massive cravings or terrible detox. I've learned and still am learning ways to cope with my triggers but I haven't had an enormous amount of those either. So I am luck in that regard. I just fully accept the fact that I cannot drink and wake up each day working on my recovery. So thankful that's how it works for me, but I am careful cause God only knows there may come a day that will challenge my deep down to my core and I want to be prepared for it so I don't fail the challenge.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Yes! I have been fooled many of times even when I thought I had it. Is this your first attempt? My first few attempts were half hearted. It's good your honestly accepting it all so you can move forward. I think once you truly believe you can be happy living sober it's in the bag. A leap of faith!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
On no...I wish to say it had been my first. I've known for many years I had a problem with alcohol. I have quit many times not usually longer than 3 months. The only other times would be pregnancy times and did the 9 month deal.
I feel that the real key too, not only positivity, which is merely changing my thinking so I can change all the negative thinking I've had over the years, but it is also accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic and no matter what I do or how I try nothing will ever change that. Nothing, ever. So I accept that now. I completely have surrendered the fight and am concentrating on making myself better. I hope and pray I stay strong. I just commit to it every single day and work it all day long. I already know it's worth every ounce of effort I have. It's a so much better decision than drinking ever was.
I feel that the real key too, not only positivity, which is merely changing my thinking so I can change all the negative thinking I've had over the years, but it is also accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic and no matter what I do or how I try nothing will ever change that. Nothing, ever. So I accept that now. I completely have surrendered the fight and am concentrating on making myself better. I hope and pray I stay strong. I just commit to it every single day and work it all day long. I already know it's worth every ounce of effort I have. It's a so much better decision than drinking ever was.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Quiet day so far. Grand daughter hanging out with us. She cracks me up. Crepe mix sitting on the counter... She asks me why I'm making creeps, that she won't eat zombie food!! I'm rolling!!! So I had to make pancakes.
Car reserved. Extra food bought for my wolfies while I'm gone. Grateful the kids love close enough to care well for them in my absence. Oldest is AMAZING with them. They are all he knows. As I've had the breed over 25 years. When A comes down with his service dog, they know he's special. Even my territorial male, lies quietly in his kennel while N is here with his boy.
Damn I'm dreading this.
Car reserved. Extra food bought for my wolfies while I'm gone. Grateful the kids love close enough to care well for them in my absence. Oldest is AMAZING with them. They are all he knows. As I've had the breed over 25 years. When A comes down with his service dog, they know he's special. Even my territorial male, lies quietly in his kennel while N is here with his boy.
Damn I'm dreading this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
For dinner I made crepes stuffed with chicken and wild rice. Light cream sauce to go with. Fresh tomatoes, onion and cucumber salad from the garden. Baked apples with caramel for dessert. Houseful for dinner and I love it. One more sober day on the books.,
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
That sounds really good 3wolves. Last night I treated myself to a nice sushi dinner after successfully surviving my first business trip while sober.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Arbor, I did the baby backs last weekend. It was the first time I did those without drinking beer the whole time. And as you know, there's a lot of time you can be drinking, lol
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