Class of September 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Hey team,
Home from class, it was such a delight- 3 hours long, but I love philosophy so the time flew, and I actually didn't want to drink or have to talk myself out of it.
I had fleeting thoughts of wine but it wasn't even an issue. Phew, at least a break for one night is nice.
Its because I wasn't stressed or bored, those are my reasons to drink.
Though its funny because though I love cooking I was too tired, so I stopped at the grocery store to get soup because its cold and raining, I stood there looking at calories and almost didn't even get any; which is ridiculous because the amount of calories in a bottle of wine would've far surpassed a can of chicken and rice soup...
My oh my
Home from class, it was such a delight- 3 hours long, but I love philosophy so the time flew, and I actually didn't want to drink or have to talk myself out of it.
I had fleeting thoughts of wine but it wasn't even an issue. Phew, at least a break for one night is nice.
Its because I wasn't stressed or bored, those are my reasons to drink.
Though its funny because though I love cooking I was too tired, so I stopped at the grocery store to get soup because its cold and raining, I stood there looking at calories and almost didn't even get any; which is ridiculous because the amount of calories in a bottle of wine would've far surpassed a can of chicken and rice soup...
My oh my
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
I drank tonight. I want to curl up and die and be in a hospital bed and have someone take care of me. Is there any hope left for a 51 year old alone divorced woman? There is not. I'm disgusted with myself. And sorry for letting the group down.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Juno11 
I drank tonight. I want to curl up and die and be in a hospital bed and have someone take care of me. Is there any hope left for a 51 year old alone divorced woman? There is not. I'm disgusted with myself. And sorry for letting the group down.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi
Hey team,
Home from class, it was such a delight- 3 hours long, but I love philosophy so the time flew, and I actually didn't want to drink or have to talk myself out of it.
I had fleeting thoughts of wine but it wasn't even an issue. Phew, at least a break for one night is nice.
Its because I wasn't stressed or bored, those are my reasons to drink.
Though its funny because though I love cooking I was too tired, so I stopped at the grocery store to get soup because its cold and raining, I stood there looking at calories and almost didn't even get any; which is ridiculous because the amount of calories in a bottle of wine would've far surpassed a can of chicken and rice soup...
My oh my
Home from class, it was such a delight- 3 hours long, but I love philosophy so the time flew, and I actually didn't want to drink or have to talk myself out of it.
I had fleeting thoughts of wine but it wasn't even an issue. Phew, at least a break for one night is nice.
Its because I wasn't stressed or bored, those are my reasons to drink.
Though its funny because though I love cooking I was too tired, so I stopped at the grocery store to get soup because its cold and raining, I stood there looking at calories and almost didn't even get any; which is ridiculous because the amount of calories in a bottle of wine would've far surpassed a can of chicken and rice soup...
My oh my
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by matilda123
Haha! I can relate! I used to pride myself on eating healthy while guzzling wine. Oh the tricks our minds can play!
Oh the denial of it all...
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
There not one of us here who does not know how you feel Juno.
And, yes there is a lot of hope left for you, no matyter how many times you've done this before or how old you are..
That goes for anyone else wondering the same, too.
Try something different this time with your recovery plan - add some thing you didn't have this time - push yourself a little - make more changes,. and find more support - make yourself use it.
you can do this!
D
And, yes there is a lot of hope left for you, no matyter how many times you've done this before or how old you are..
That goes for anyone else wondering the same, too.
Try something different this time with your recovery plan - add some thing you didn't have this time - push yourself a little - make more changes,. and find more support - make yourself use it.
you can do this!
D
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Morning class, day 2 and have spent a lovely sweaty sleepless night tossing and turning and aching all over, yeuky. Why on earth do we do this to ourselves, it's madness really!!
I'm trying to work up the courage to go to a AA meeting today, I've got a choice of a couple quite near by so I can either go this afternoon or tonight depending on how I'm physically feeling, feeling pretty awful so not sure about getting there. Oh and I'm really really nervous about going as even though I don't know many people in the area I'm scared I see someone I know, not an uncommon concern I realise.
So fed up and worn out by it all now, been trying for years to stop and even though I've managed to be sober for up to five months at times I seem to have slipped back back into it all.
Hugs to Junk, I know just how you are feeling and it is just horrible. We can change things though
Peace X
I'm trying to work up the courage to go to a AA meeting today, I've got a choice of a couple quite near by so I can either go this afternoon or tonight depending on how I'm physically feeling, feeling pretty awful so not sure about getting there. Oh and I'm really really nervous about going as even though I don't know many people in the area I'm scared I see someone I know, not an uncommon concern I realise.
So fed up and worn out by it all now, been trying for years to stop and even though I've managed to be sober for up to five months at times I seem to have slipped back back into it all.
Hugs to Junk, I know just how you are feeling and it is just horrible. We can change things though
Peace X
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 32
Hi all,
On to day 2 for me like you peaches. My husband (well, we're together but not really together; jury is out on whether things will work themselves out) and his friend were watching football and drinking beers here last night. I was waiting for my pizza to cook so did a bit of weirdo psychology on myself; made myself look at the bottle, read all of the text (inc drink aware warnings etc) and consider the colour, the clarity, the alcohol content etc then go on to think about what was so great about it. Sounds odd but I kinda re-realised how non-exciting alcohol even is as a concept. I handle alcohol a lot in my new job running stock; thinking of it this way will hopefully allow me to deal with it more often without thinking 'ooh I could just fancy some of this when I come off shift'.
I'm off to my GP soon. A bit nervous but I know I need to ask for help with my depression/anxiety to hopefully help deal with some of the underlying issues. Then I'm off to see a friend. She's having an awful time; she was living in China with her boyfriend and he's just ended it so she is back in the UK to live with her parents, no job, no savings, etc. I feel that helping her get stuff sorted may be another incentive to stay sober. Then I'm going to my cbt session.
Have work tomorrow morning at 6.30am. I'm dreading it somewhat as I've already managed to break their absence code by calling in sick at too short notice (owing to my relapse). I told them I was suffering panic attacks and couldn't face it. I guess I can only man up and show them how hard I can work to redeem myself; something that will be a damn sight easier if I don't take that first drink each day.
Thanks for all your posts. Jsbodhi I totally get where you're coming from re calories. I'm guilty of doing that healthy photo blog type thing on instagram; kale smoothies, healthy dinners, exercise pics etc. Of course I never photographed the copious amounts of poison I was throwing down my neck!
Hope you feel better soon Juno. We have ALL been there and it's such a horrid feeling but it will pass if you don't drink today xx
On to day 2 for me like you peaches. My husband (well, we're together but not really together; jury is out on whether things will work themselves out) and his friend were watching football and drinking beers here last night. I was waiting for my pizza to cook so did a bit of weirdo psychology on myself; made myself look at the bottle, read all of the text (inc drink aware warnings etc) and consider the colour, the clarity, the alcohol content etc then go on to think about what was so great about it. Sounds odd but I kinda re-realised how non-exciting alcohol even is as a concept. I handle alcohol a lot in my new job running stock; thinking of it this way will hopefully allow me to deal with it more often without thinking 'ooh I could just fancy some of this when I come off shift'.
I'm off to my GP soon. A bit nervous but I know I need to ask for help with my depression/anxiety to hopefully help deal with some of the underlying issues. Then I'm off to see a friend. She's having an awful time; she was living in China with her boyfriend and he's just ended it so she is back in the UK to live with her parents, no job, no savings, etc. I feel that helping her get stuff sorted may be another incentive to stay sober. Then I'm going to my cbt session.
Have work tomorrow morning at 6.30am. I'm dreading it somewhat as I've already managed to break their absence code by calling in sick at too short notice (owing to my relapse). I told them I was suffering panic attacks and couldn't face it. I guess I can only man up and show them how hard I can work to redeem myself; something that will be a damn sight easier if I don't take that first drink each day.
Thanks for all your posts. Jsbodhi I totally get where you're coming from re calories. I'm guilty of doing that healthy photo blog type thing on instagram; kale smoothies, healthy dinners, exercise pics etc. Of course I never photographed the copious amounts of poison I was throwing down my neck!
Hope you feel better soon Juno. We have ALL been there and it's such a horrid feeling but it will pass if you don't drink today xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi
My favourite was that I starved myself to level out the calories ao I could have wine- waking up to my healthy shake and going to yoga like I'm a decent human being...
Oh the denial of it all...
Oh the denial of it all...
We're plonkers haha!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Juno, startingover, peace, emme, and anyone else picking themselves back up,,, Dee is right, we have all been there - me, more times than I can even count. Use it as a lesson. The way I look at it, one of these times its just going to click and we re going to fight harder than ever to stay sober because we are tired of the alternative. Maybe this is the time ....
Day 5 and payday for me. I plan to come home from work later, go for a jog, shower and do some shopping and dinner with my oldest daughter. Yes, I'm spending some money on ME.! And her , of course
Saturday I am going to to the Wayne dyer I can do it conference, I'm so excited and will not ruin this opportunity by drinking this week and struggling with that while listening to all of those spiritual, motivating, self help gurus. It's good for me to have short term goals to keep going. If I say I won't drink forever, or until Thanksgiving, I get too overwhelmed.
Remember to post if you need to, do whatever it takes to not take that first drink. I can't think of a time I ever posted in here during a craving, got amazing support and reminders and drank anyway. I really works to your Mindset of you let it .
Happy Tuesday
Day 5 and payday for me. I plan to come home from work later, go for a jog, shower and do some shopping and dinner with my oldest daughter. Yes, I'm spending some money on ME.! And her , of course
Saturday I am going to to the Wayne dyer I can do it conference, I'm so excited and will not ruin this opportunity by drinking this week and struggling with that while listening to all of those spiritual, motivating, self help gurus. It's good for me to have short term goals to keep going. If I say I won't drink forever, or until Thanksgiving, I get too overwhelmed.
Remember to post if you need to, do whatever it takes to not take that first drink. I can't think of a time I ever posted in here during a craving, got amazing support and reminders and drank anyway. I really works to your Mindset of you let it .
Happy Tuesday
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
I'm sick this morning. Kids bring home who knows what, I keep sinus and war infections. Had to call in late for work. Did find a walkin "minute"? Clinic at a drugstore close to work. Hope that staves off some attendance issues, if there are any. Alcohol has cost me jobs in the past.
Correction: I've lost jobs because of being out from hangovers and depression.
Dee said it best: " you never have to feel that way again"
Correction: I've lost jobs because of being out from hangovers and depression.
Dee said it best: " you never have to feel that way again"
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Juno11
I drank tonight. I want to curl up and die and be in a hospital bed and have someone take care of me. Is there any hope left for a 51 year old alone divorced woman? There is not. I'm disgusted with myself. And sorry for letting the group down.
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