brighterlife

Hmmm..interesting, happened to me too. I went on them few years back. Minor side effects are v common in the first 2 weeks but mine didn't stop. Nightmares, insomnia, gritty eyes, lack of appetite etc. I switched to a different kind which worked and I was able to come off them after a year. My level of drinking increased at the same time but I don't know if that was just coincidence.
I would definitely go on them again if needs be.

KeyofC

Sadie thanks for the huge hug!
After years of not taking care of myself but being so self centered because of being an addict, it's hard to get in the habit of putting me first in a healthy way, having boundaries, and learning it's ok to say "no". I am so grateful all of you care enough to reply. It really helps when we feel so alone.
So day 55!
I am happy to report that I went to a party last night. First time I've been out since I vowed to change my life forever. Everyone was drinking with the exception of a few, including me. As I think about it, people that were drinking, no one got drunk. I would've been that person. The one who gets drunk, yep me. I would've been the one showing my backside. There was country music pickers and singers. Of course they asked several times that I sing for them and I declined. I am still searching about why I have given up music in my life when I love it so much. I miss it so much. But I am scared to death to get into it again so I don't perform for now until I know what is the deal with me n performing music.
Hope everyone has had a good weekend. I know some are struggling and I hope you work through it and don't give in! (((HUG))) to everyone!
Thank you God for another 24!

Retread1959

The first antidepressant I was on had terrible side effects. I had hallucinations and anxiety attacks, just for starters. The anxiety attacks were like nothing I'd ever experienced in that they consisted mainly of me falling into panic over thoughts that I was having urges to do harm to myself. I wasn't a home drinker at the time but I did start keeping a bottle handy to calm those attacks; they were awful. I was on this for a year because I was too afraid to challenge my doctor's advice at the time.

That drug was one of the older-type A/Ds and, after that experience, I was terrified for a long time to take anything else. Eventually became deeply suicidal and ended up on Lexapro, which has been a good fit, for me, with minimal side effects that disappeared after the first couple of weeks. That first one really scared the carp out of me!

Retread1959

Hi Key! I am also an ex-pro musician. I still play bass and sing, but mostly in my garage with my drummer husband. I don't have a fear around it, but I definitely find it difficult adjusting to life in the normal world after living a musician's lifestyle for several years when I was younger! I find it very frustrating at times.

lovehoops

Hi all,

Just quick check in. Seems as if everyone is chugging along..

Have a great night xo

kittycat3

Yes we are August 25! I did not realize Patricia was also a sober twin. So we are triplets

KeyofC

It was a huge part of my life for 19 years. A lot of my every day revolved around something to do with music. Rehearsal, learning new material, memorizing lyrics, more rehearsals. You know what I mean. It's a huge adjustment not having that filling my time. I've learned I'm pretty good at art and drawing. Maybe that can be a new focus for me! There's quite a few musicians on SR I am discovering.

patricia68

lol I love that! Yes! We are triplets!

PennyLane76

Aug 25 is right Benice, wont forget now and wow , 2 sober sisters! I found a receipt in my purse from aug 24 at 230 pm, already had ditched work early, bought a half bottle and finished quickly then drove to store probably within DUI range for the full bottle. 230 and binging...I am an awful employee, if I was in AA im sure it would be a step, moral inventory or some such? Anyway, I felt gross finding that receipt. Said I would wait for more sober time to make job decision, but im just not motivated by money anymore to bust my butt and present a fake persona.

After my blabbing about healthy diet yesterday I did make homemade salmon burgers (kinda yucky chopping and mixing raw salmon, but really yummy,) w arugula salad, then out of the blue went to store and bought and devoured a pint of ice cream. I think it gave me a phantom hangover, yuck sleep, weird dreams, headache and lazy all day. Sugar, be it in wine form or regular is not my friend. Maybe it's just fatigue that comes with this period of sobriety I have read others comment on? , but going to sleep super early so I can wake up to moon and stars and head to ocean before work for major long walk to burn off ice cream binge.

JL, how u doin? Troy I know you will return when ready. Where is our contrarian mililtargh? Bexxed how u be? Good evening, morning to all. (Hey Key, my folks are from Kentucky, all we had growing up was fried stuff,.is it still that way?, omg I just recalled they ate fried brain sandwiches, gag. Put me off eating animals at very early age, ewww wish I didn't remember that) I think that was a regional western KY/southern IN thing.

Now ive grossed yall out, or maybe not, I will bid adieu. Stay strong Augustables.

patricia68

I did the same yesterday, not with ice cream but with soda and cookies. I felt gross after I finished eating, it gave me a stomach ache and a headache. Back to healthy eating today. I'm still not feeling great. Ugh why did I do that?

TroyW

Congrats Sadie. Glad to see you're doing so well.

JL2014

Every weekend I lose it and drink. Really really stressful Saturday, 2 boys drove the wife to yelling last half of the day. I have to say, I was thankful to buzz it out. Of course there's no excuse, but
Ah..,, I don't know what to say that doesn't just sound like bull. Lost my focus and that was it.

TroyW

Nice to hear from you JL. I was wondering where you were.

I know that feeling of defeat all too well. All we can do is wake up, evaluate our day-to-day, and change things as needed.

All the best.

KeyofC

[QUOTE=Sadie1
JL, how u doin? Troy I know you will return when ready. Where is our contrarian mililtargh? Bexxed how u be? Good evening, morning to all. (Hey Key, my folks are from Kentucky, all we had growing up was fried stuff,.is it still that way?, omg I just recalled they ate fried brain sandwiches, gag. Put me off eating animals at very early age, ewww wish I didn't remember that) I think that was a regional western KY/southern IN thing.

Sadie1,
Well some fried things. I think it's not as much as it used to be with people trying to get more health conscious. And I never eat things that don't sound "normal". I don't care how you cook it lol! No feet, brains, tails, possum, etc..yuck! Lol

lovehoops

Morning augustables,

Another Monday!! I am constantly on a sugar craze since putting down alcohol. I know everyone says they lose weight when they stop drinking.. Not me!! I can't stop eating. I really have to do something because I can devour something crappy...like tootsie rolls...in no time flat!! It is gross!!!

Troy...glad to hear from you
JL...come posting and maybe try to. One up with some solid plan of action? I'm thinking of you xo
KeyofC..... Art could be a great outlet for you..something creative??? I do aloof different crafts and I love it. It helps focus my thoughts.
Sadie...I know how you feel about the receipt..I found 2 empty bottles yesterday while looking for fall decorations...gross!

It's a crisp cool fall morning here...I probably should go for a walk? Enjoy the day all xo

TroyW

Fall days are beautiful. The leaves are turning, and some of the best natural beauty you can see. Definitely go for a walk.

heh, reminds me, "winter" is coming up. I'm from north western Canada, so always get a chuckle here during "winter". +18C out, and that's it... everyone has parkas and touques on, while I'm wandering around in shorts and a t-shirt.

For me, "winter" means -38C with 6 foot snow drifts, putting chains on the car tires, scraping the ice off the windshield every day, worrying about frostbite, etc. +18C. heh.

TroyW

And for all of us, sometimes it's good to put life into perspective. It could be much worse:



There's absolutely no reason any of us couldn't have become one of those refugees, except for sheer luck that we got born into the countries we did.

creativespirit9

Hi JL- pick yourself up and try again. I cant tell you how many times I told myself that I wasnt going to drink anymore and then caved on the weeekend. Right now I have 3 weeks and a day and if I am completely honest it is the longest I have gone in over four years..maybe longer- I cant remember really. The weird thing is that something seems to have clicked and I no longer feel the need for wine. My triggers arent triggering me and I feel stronger every day..

Just keep trying... it will click for you too.

TroyW

I just realized, you know what's ironic about the video I posted above? Germany is well known and remembered for what they did during WWII. I've even been to Krakow, and visited Auschwitz. There's several encampments, but I only visited the two main ones, and seen the crematoriums, historical railroad Jews were brought in on, etc.

Funny thing, Germany is now a place of welcoming freedom. They're doing everything they can to help as much as they can. Not just this refugee crisis, but economically for the EU, and everything else as well. Pretty cool if you ask me.

PennyLane76

Thanks Troy, needed that perspective. Was feeling typical Monday dread and funk about another workweek. I have a home, a job, and these poor folks have to leave everything they know and love, all based on birth circumstance. My spouse left his country run by a corrupt dictator at age 16 for America, by himself. Reason: He wanted a good education. He worked his butt off to learn English, pay for college himself, navigate the immigration system, gain citizenship, not see his mother for 25 years until she could leave that country. Most of our ancestors left their countries for chance at a better life, and these Syrians, their country, families and history destroyed?? Can't imagine. I will not whine today.