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Class of August 2015 Part 5

Old 09-10-2015, 05:34 PM
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I'm so dang glad I kept posting in here.
Got back into workout today. Actually got some tonsillitis going on so the sweat amount was huge ! I'm so glad y'all are fighting through these terrible urges. I'm no example of anything except what a retard I sound like when I'm having detox-brain.
Nightmares last night. Bad ones. Maybe some sleep tonight. Work tomorrow then off 3 days. Think I got some mega snacking coming this weekend, so in plan to treadmill each day. Outdoor Running/walkings out w 2 little ones at home. Hiking a a different story. May have cool day Sunday. I have got to stay sober this weekend.
Today's enough for now.
Hugs to you all,
Gnite
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Old 09-10-2015, 06:28 PM
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Hello Augustables! All of a sudden lots of posts on this thread! I stepped away for a day and missed all the action. Glad to see that everyone pulled through yesterday and today and did not give in to their cravings!

I'm doing fine. Feeling happier than I have in a long time. Enjoying just being alive. Haven't had that feeling in years. This "not drinking" business really works

Rain tonight - badly needed and it sounds and smells fantastic. Looking forward to a 3 day hiking trip over the weekend. New Hampshire, here we come!
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Old 09-10-2015, 06:58 PM
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I enjoy reading your great news, Class! I'm glad you talk us through your urges too it really helps to talk to people who really know how loud that AV can get. A workout sounds great...but I couldn't keep my eyes open when I got home from work. Long. Tiring day. 4 more like it ahead... I need sleep but my head is pounding for some reason. Happy Friday, everyone!

"We're our own dragons, as well as our own Heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves." -Tom Robbins
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Old 09-10-2015, 08:41 PM
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Hi everyone! Day 15 here. I've mentioned before that my doctor prescribed librium to help ease the detox a bit, and I have appreciated having that little bit of help but have decided that I need to start working on getting through my after work cravings on my own. Came home tonight, my husband had his band members over and they are all drinking beer. I had planned on a riding lesson but it's too hot to ride so that was canceled. Anyway, I don't even like beer but I really wanted to join them and have a beer, too. Instead, I made a glass of lemonade and we talked about why I couldn't have a beer and how I almost died a couple of weeks ago. That didn't make me crave any less, but it kept me from feeling too deprived.

After they went into the garage to play I just played around on the computer a bit. Still fighting a craving, but I'm going to see if I can get to sleep without the benzos tonight. Don't want to trade one addiction for another, but I also know that I should be grateful my doctor cares enough to give me the help and keep me from killing myself with drink. If I find it impossible to wind down and sleep, I'll probably give in and will at least know that I waited longer tonight.

Glad to see that everyone is pulling through these major cravings and temptations. It's so freaking hard sometimes. The AV is relentless. JL, I'm glad you stuck with us, too.
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Old 09-10-2015, 08:47 PM
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If you feel you need them, take the benzoes as prescribed and directed...two weeks do not an addiction make, retread

D
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Old 09-10-2015, 08:56 PM
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Thanks. I will probably take one before I try to sleep. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal for my band (hubby's in that one, too) so there will be no beer. It will be easier for me that way, and my first rehearsal since I got sick. I play better when I'm not drunk, anyway
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Old 09-10-2015, 09:22 PM
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Hi augustables! I went swimming in the ocean after work and watched an incredible sunset. This is what I have missed last few years when I chose being home drunk instead. Gratitude moment. Then a drone flew right above me and I flipped it off, hah. Drones are weird.

It really did help posting here when I felt weak earlier. Thanks guys! JL I am very glad you are with us! Detox brain blows, better than alcohol pickled brain tho right? Troy, where you at?

Retread, I have my benzos handy in case of emergency, have been using less and less as sober time grows, but yeah that short term librium doesnt seem a worry.

Bexxed I love your coffee obsession. Coffee is.just.the.best.thing.ever. Or quinoa, cant decide.

Gnite all! I forget what day my sober kitty sis and I will be tomorrow, 17 or 18 maybe?
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Old 09-10-2015, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Sadie1 View Post
Troy, where you at?
Detox.

Back in about 36 hours.
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Old 09-10-2015, 09:42 PM
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It's bedtime for me. I made it

It was a tough day but it really helped reading through the posts.

I also made a list of things to be proud about. Like I stopped drinking 2 weeks ago, I stopped eating junk food 1 week ago, I'm tapering down benzos, I meditate every night, I write on my journal almost every day...

Some are baby steps, some are big steps for me...but like Dee told me long time ago, it's not just about quitting alcohol ...it's about building a new life (sorry Dee, I know those were not your exact words, but I remember what you meant! )
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Old 09-10-2015, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by TroyW View Post
Detox.

Back in about 36 hours.
((((hugs)))) We'll be here.
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:00 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
It's bedtime for me. I made it

It was a tough day but it really helped reading through the posts.

I also made a list of things to be proud about. Like I stopped drinking 2 weeks ago, I stopped eating junk food 1 week ago, I'm tapering down benzos, I meditate every night, I write on my journal almost every day...

Some are baby steps, some are big steps for me...but like Dee told me long time ago, it's not just about quitting alcohol ...it's about building a new life (sorry Dee, I know those were not your exact words, but I remember what you meant! )
It really is about building a new life, isn't it? I finally feel ready to do that, too. About freaking time.
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:00 PM
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Patricia and Sadie, it was wonderful to read your updates tonight. So proud of you both for making it through the day. You guys are awesome Thank you for inspiring me.

Good night/good morning to All!
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Old 09-10-2015, 10:13 PM
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take care Troy

D
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Old 09-11-2015, 02:24 AM
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Good morning all,
Troy...thinking of you xo

I'm so glad to see everyone fighting through the urges and pushing off AV.. Bravo!!!

Things are well with me. Glad it's Friday...busy week at work..

9/11 is never a good day for us. We lost some friends and acquaintances who worked in the city. There is a local memorial that is beautiful. It has a fountain and a piece of metal from the towers and everyone's name along the back. It was opened on the 10year anniversary and they usually hold a small service. We will most likely attend.

Happy weekend to all and stay strong xo
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Old 09-11-2015, 03:47 AM
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Troy,
Thinkin bout you, man
Post up when you feel like it. Get back with us
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Old 09-11-2015, 03:51 AM
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Detox is going fine, but those thoughts are still stronger then they should be.

I don't know, I don't think I can get out of this. I'm in too deep now. There's no way I'm getting out of this hole I've dug for myself. I keep trying to think through things rationally, and this is the best route.

I screwed up big time on this binge, and pissed off my main clients via one of my disappearing acts. I'm basically unemployed now. Have some money, but will most likely be homeless within a couple months. Then the police will pick me up, and off to the Immigration Detention Center I go for overstaying, which will also spell the end of my dog's lives.

I won't have the ambition or fortitude to rebuild my client list in time. Yeah, I think I'm done.
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Old 09-11-2015, 04:11 AM
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Although I think a change could be great for your recovery, I don't want you to be homeless or your dogs destroyed.

Things always look pretty dark the first few days Troy - I hope they;ll look better in a day or two.
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Old 09-11-2015, 06:42 AM
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Hey Troy,

I get terribly depressed after a binge; things may not be as bad as they seem. Sobriety can illuminate areas in our lives where we need to make big changes, and then it's our job to pick through that, bit by bit, and fix it up again. You will be okay, even if it doesn't seem that way right now. I don't want to see you homeless or your dogs homeless, either. I hope it's not quite as bad as all that. Stick with us and let's walk this road together.
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Old 09-11-2015, 07:02 AM
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Morning, everyone. I'm feeling unbelievably lazy this morning and if I had enough leave left over I'd just take the day off. Instead, I'm going to go in on time (I usually go in a half-hour early) or maybe even a half-hour late. It means I have to work later, but who cares? It's Friday!

I hope everyone is doing well. Kudos to all for continuing to resist. The cravings can get fierce at times but we will prevail. We're Augustable Strong!

I guess I have to mention that it's 9/11, too. We all remember where we were, at least those of us in the US, on that day, and how tragic it was. Let's take a moment today to remember those who lost their lives and honor them and their families. Hard to believe it's been fourteen years. Time sure does fly by.
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Old 09-11-2015, 07:19 AM
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Troy I will pray for you. ((hug)) Hang in there. Sometimes when things seems to be falling apart, maybe better things are trying to fall in place. All you can do is own it and try to start the repair on it somehow and change things so it never happens to you again. I am not in your shoes, I know. Easy for me to say. Just trying to hash it out with you and maybe offer some words of encouragement. Just my thoughts.
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