Class of March 2013 Part 43
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Hi all,
At the airport right now. About to head down to the Dominican Republic for vacation. I need it after the week of hell I went through at work. Just want to relax on the beach all week with a book and some lemonade.
It's all inclusive. Apparently they even greet you with a glass of champagne at check-in. But I'm not worried. I already called ahead and they've removed all liquor from my room. I also went to a bunch of meetings this week.
I did see a bunch of people drinking at the airport bar at 8am. My girlfriend asked how people could drink so early in the morning. I didn't even wait for the airport bar. I got drunk beforehand at 6am.
Anyway, have a great weekend!
At the airport right now. About to head down to the Dominican Republic for vacation. I need it after the week of hell I went through at work. Just want to relax on the beach all week with a book and some lemonade.
It's all inclusive. Apparently they even greet you with a glass of champagne at check-in. But I'm not worried. I already called ahead and they've removed all liquor from my room. I also went to a bunch of meetings this week.
I did see a bunch of people drinking at the airport bar at 8am. My girlfriend asked how people could drink so early in the morning. I didn't even wait for the airport bar. I got drunk beforehand at 6am.
Anyway, have a great weekend!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Dd sounds like you're covered! You'll probably just look up from your book every now and again, see the craziness around you, shake your head in wry amusement, count your blessings for being sober and enjoy your book some more.
Speaking of all that, there's a fair amount of "cabrewing" on the river where I camp and paddle. After the way this week is gone, I decided not to unload my car (except to clean out the food of course) because I would like to go again this weekend.
I know I told you guys about my exploded coke and margarita falling from the sky experience. On Monday, it was beer mania. I was paddling behind some cabrewers and they were littering their beer cans. This drives me ******* crazy. A nationally designated scenic river and you are dumping beer cans in it?? Even at my worst, I never ever did that. So I was going to pass them, but decided to hang back and clean up their crap instead. Well two of those beers were full! That is very ra are, cause as you know drinkers are gonna drink. It's common protocol for even experienced paddlers who don't typically drink to take them off the river and guzzle the gift from the river gods. I decided to give them away.
It took me until yesterday to find a taker for two free budweisers. That's how my friend base has changed in three years! Lol.
Speaking of all that, there's a fair amount of "cabrewing" on the river where I camp and paddle. After the way this week is gone, I decided not to unload my car (except to clean out the food of course) because I would like to go again this weekend.
I know I told you guys about my exploded coke and margarita falling from the sky experience. On Monday, it was beer mania. I was paddling behind some cabrewers and they were littering their beer cans. This drives me ******* crazy. A nationally designated scenic river and you are dumping beer cans in it?? Even at my worst, I never ever did that. So I was going to pass them, but decided to hang back and clean up their crap instead. Well two of those beers were full! That is very ra are, cause as you know drinkers are gonna drink. It's common protocol for even experienced paddlers who don't typically drink to take them off the river and guzzle the gift from the river gods. I decided to give them away.
It took me until yesterday to find a taker for two free budweisers. That's how my friend base has changed in three years! Lol.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
DD enjoy the DR, I went there a hundred years ago when still married to number one, it was when I first wondered whether his drinking was too big a problem for our marriage to survive. It was a lovely island with amazing sunsets! Enjoy your R&R x
You too Dee, how are you feeling now?
All ok in Tootsville, just tired, still not sleeping too well. Parents and hubby head off tomorrow so I get a little peace!
You too Dee, how are you feeling now?
All ok in Tootsville, just tired, still not sleeping too well. Parents and hubby head off tomorrow so I get a little peace!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I cleaned out a junk room yesterday. I felt like an archaeologist! I found artifacts from as far back as the mid 90s. Just like real artifacts, they came in layers:
Clothes from when my youngest was 6
My clothes of 4 different sizes (most of which I'm giving away)
Remnants of my sewing hobby
Old counted cross stitch stuff
My extensive genealogy and scrapbook hobby
Boxes of sealing wax
Assorted seashells
A dozen palm frond fans (designed as party favors for a bridal shower)
Multiple packs of guitar strings (when I haven't played in about a year).
Plus, my husband has hoarded lightbulbs of every size and shape.
One thing I noticed: when it comes to projects, I make sure I have all the proper accoutrements to do the job (in my dope smoking days I was very big into paraphernalia, too)!
If I sold all that stuff on Ebay, I might get $10!
I got the whole room emptied. Now I'm going to purge all drawers and cabinets around the house (Lord willing--yesterday was a rare mood for me)!
Clothes from when my youngest was 6
My clothes of 4 different sizes (most of which I'm giving away)
Remnants of my sewing hobby
Old counted cross stitch stuff
My extensive genealogy and scrapbook hobby
Boxes of sealing wax
Assorted seashells
A dozen palm frond fans (designed as party favors for a bridal shower)
Multiple packs of guitar strings (when I haven't played in about a year).
Plus, my husband has hoarded lightbulbs of every size and shape.
One thing I noticed: when it comes to projects, I make sure I have all the proper accoutrements to do the job (in my dope smoking days I was very big into paraphernalia, too)!
If I sold all that stuff on Ebay, I might get $10!
I got the whole room emptied. Now I'm going to purge all drawers and cabinets around the house (Lord willing--yesterday was a rare mood for me)!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Congrats Budd & Marcher!!
DD, have fun relaxing in the sun.
Soooooo survived the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the day after party at my brother's lake house and one more day to go! Today we're having an early supper here at the inn we're staying at for my whole family. I've tried to be a "stump" as per Gilmer's great advice & for the most part it's been a lovely weekend in CT. Tons and tons of booze but am just taking it all in stride.
Hope everyone else is having a great weekend/beginning of the week.
DD, have fun relaxing in the sun.
Soooooo survived the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the day after party at my brother's lake house and one more day to go! Today we're having an early supper here at the inn we're staying at for my whole family. I've tried to be a "stump" as per Gilmer's great advice & for the most part it's been a lovely weekend in CT. Tons and tons of booze but am just taking it all in stride.
Hope everyone else is having a great weekend/beginning of the week.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Wehav- while I'm sure J appreciates that you want to help her, I'm not sure "sponsoring" may be the best way to go about it. The whole point of sponsorship, at least in the 12-step concept, works because the sponsor has been through what the sponsee is experiencing. Unless you suffer from an anxiety disorder, there's really not much you can to do help.
I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks. The best form of treatment, at least for me is regular therapy and medication. Without my meds, I would have daily panic attacks. But just like recovery is my responsibility, not that of my family or girlfriend, managing my anxiety disorder is also my responsibility. There's not much else my family can do besides just be supportive of me getting help and taking care of myself.
I know dealing with someone who has anxiety, especially when it's untreated or undertreated can be tough. But like they say in Al-Anon, you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you certainly can't cure it. As toots mentioned, I'd just encourage J to find a new new therapist and get on meds if necessary. That's all you can really do.
And check out an Al-Anon meeting yourself. It may give you some insight on you're role (or lack there of) in J's anxiety. I personally feel like my alcoholism and anxiety are very similar mental disorders. I have to actively treat both, because they are life long conditions with no cure.
Just my humble opinion as someone who suffers from both diseases. Best of luck to you both.
I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks. The best form of treatment, at least for me is regular therapy and medication. Without my meds, I would have daily panic attacks. But just like recovery is my responsibility, not that of my family or girlfriend, managing my anxiety disorder is also my responsibility. There's not much else my family can do besides just be supportive of me getting help and taking care of myself.
I know dealing with someone who has anxiety, especially when it's untreated or undertreated can be tough. But like they say in Al-Anon, you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you certainly can't cure it. As toots mentioned, I'd just encourage J to find a new new therapist and get on meds if necessary. That's all you can really do.
And check out an Al-Anon meeting yourself. It may give you some insight on you're role (or lack there of) in J's anxiety. I personally feel like my alcoholism and anxiety are very similar mental disorders. I have to actively treat both, because they are life long conditions with no cure.
Just my humble opinion as someone who suffers from both diseases. Best of luck to you both.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Dd, thank you for your insight. Yeah, I use the term "sponsor" very loosely. It would be inappropriate on several levels for me to sponsor j in the true 12 step sense. I have generalized anxiety, but quitting alcohol took care of most of that.
I think what felt like such a breakthrough is realizing that meditation, gratitude and prayer worked for me and they are helping her too. I have found myself spending a good deal of time in the friends and family forum here, and it is very interesting to me how similar I had be been feeling in some ways. Not the intoxication or financial woes, but the blame shifting and emotional hostage taking for lack of a better term.
She has a psychiatrist, and went back to the therapist before the wedding. She does work on it. I spoke with her today about the falling asleep bit, and she agreed I am allowed to do what I need to take care of myself too. Today, she said I've been extra supportive. I was being how I always am, she just has her eyes open to it now.
Sometimes progress goes quickly, sometimes slowly... Thank you everyone for the support!!
I think what felt like such a breakthrough is realizing that meditation, gratitude and prayer worked for me and they are helping her too. I have found myself spending a good deal of time in the friends and family forum here, and it is very interesting to me how similar I had be been feeling in some ways. Not the intoxication or financial woes, but the blame shifting and emotional hostage taking for lack of a better term.
She has a psychiatrist, and went back to the therapist before the wedding. She does work on it. I spoke with her today about the falling asleep bit, and she agreed I am allowed to do what I need to take care of myself too. Today, she said I've been extra supportive. I was being how I always am, she just has her eyes open to it now.
Sometimes progress goes quickly, sometimes slowly... Thank you everyone for the support!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
I've been suffering from anxiety for many years and I've come to realize that it is a very selfish disorder. When I'm having anxiety my husband can do very little right. I have been seriously examining my anxiety recently, trying to find its source and trying to find alternative, non-pharmaceutical remedies. Through this process I've been able to look back at certain instances and can see that I haven't always treated my husband fairly. And what DD says is so true, my anxiety is my responsibility.
In this vain, I am on day 3 of being off my prescribed AD. The withdrawals have been very minimal (thankfully). My timing is pretty horrible since I just went through a family wedding weekend but I suddenly had to be drug-free so I took a real risk. Luckily it worked out ok. I've tried to go off before and it was much harder so I went right back on. This time I've been lucky.
Anyway, what's been working for me this time is prayer, good nutrition & fitness. It's a major work in progress but this is the most progress I've ever made.
In this vain, I am on day 3 of being off my prescribed AD. The withdrawals have been very minimal (thankfully). My timing is pretty horrible since I just went through a family wedding weekend but I suddenly had to be drug-free so I took a real risk. Luckily it worked out ok. I've tried to go off before and it was much harder so I went right back on. This time I've been lucky.
Anyway, what's been working for me this time is prayer, good nutrition & fitness. It's a major work in progress but this is the most progress I've ever made.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Duff, that's super helpful, thank you! I really hope your ad withdrawal stays minimal. And I never underestimate the power of great nutrition .
Thanks for mulling this over with me, marchers. I really don't want to thread hog but this is helpful. I did try to take this party to the anxiety thread, but there doesn't seem to be much movement there.
And I find myself thinking you guys "know me" better.
Thanks for mulling this over with me, marchers. I really don't want to thread hog but this is helpful. I did try to take this party to the anxiety thread, but there doesn't seem to be much movement there.
And I find myself thinking you guys "know me" better.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
WeHave, I guess if we don't know each other pretty well by now......!! You are right, we have your ( and Js) best interests at heart and also anything we say, whether you feel it relevant or even if it kind of brushes the fur the wrong way, always know it is said from the heart and with the best intentions. It sounds like J is being proactive about putting her anxiety front and centre just now, and it's good she is recognising your support. I am also glad you are getting some support from the F&F thread, there are some good insights there. You also have a great toolbox built up, and obviously some of those tools are helping J.
Duff, good luck with coming off the ADs. I've been reducing mine over time and am on a minimal dose now. I hope to come off completely over the next couple of weeks. I feel by now it is as much a psychological issue as clinical; I have been on these for a good while now and I guess part of me fears dropping the crutch completely and walking without. I will though. I feel different this time, before,maher I have begun reducing, I have felt the oppression of that weighty black cloud begin to bear down on me, this time I haven't and this is as light a dose as I have been down to in years.
Duff are you reducing with the doctors help? Well done on surviving all the wedding brouhaha , always a difficult time, as even a lot of Normies overindulge on these occasions.
Happy MonTuesday all
Duff, good luck with coming off the ADs. I've been reducing mine over time and am on a minimal dose now. I hope to come off completely over the next couple of weeks. I feel by now it is as much a psychological issue as clinical; I have been on these for a good while now and I guess part of me fears dropping the crutch completely and walking without. I will though. I feel different this time, before,maher I have begun reducing, I have felt the oppression of that weighty black cloud begin to bear down on me, this time I haven't and this is as light a dose as I have been down to in years.
Duff are you reducing with the doctors help? Well done on surviving all the wedding brouhaha , always a difficult time, as even a lot of Normies overindulge on these occasions.
Happy MonTuesday all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Toots, I did this one cold turkey and without consulting my dr. I know! For me, though, when I make up my mind I want to do it I just do it. Not smart but I lucked out this time - day 4 and no withdrawal symptoms today. I actually see him next week and I'm sure he won't be too thrilled with me.
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