One Year and Under Club Part 47
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
BoozeFree - Use that relapse to play the tape through when the urge to drink appears. It'll help you choose Pepsi! Plus look at all the fun you have sober, and how productive you have been in your career in sobriety. Girl, sober works for you!
Casey - I think it's wonderful that you're able to enjoy this quiet time. When I first quit I felt dull, gray, and blah. I had to learn how to embrace the quiet. It took work! .... Is the movie on Netflix too?
Amp - I hear ya on feeling a bit of longing over other people's drinks. Last summer I looked longingly at the hiss of smoke coming off other folks' first ice cold beers. What kept me from joining in was playing the tape through to the end of the night, to the regret the next morning. Sometimes I'd make decadent sweets to get my mind off it. Whatever it took! I also found that as people realized that I stopped drinking, whether by observation or by my confirmation, I felt more and more free.
This is my second summer sober. Like Toots I look forward to the hiss of my ice cold flavored seltzer water - or the bite of some good iced coffee. It took time getting comfortable living life sober and socializing sober, but today I don't care what the people around me drink.
Keep hanging in there Undies! Enjoy all the wonderful things this sober day offers!
Casey - I think it's wonderful that you're able to enjoy this quiet time. When I first quit I felt dull, gray, and blah. I had to learn how to embrace the quiet. It took work! .... Is the movie on Netflix too?
Amp - I hear ya on feeling a bit of longing over other people's drinks. Last summer I looked longingly at the hiss of smoke coming off other folks' first ice cold beers. What kept me from joining in was playing the tape through to the end of the night, to the regret the next morning. Sometimes I'd make decadent sweets to get my mind off it. Whatever it took! I also found that as people realized that I stopped drinking, whether by observation or by my confirmation, I felt more and more free.
This is my second summer sober. Like Toots I look forward to the hiss of my ice cold flavored seltzer water - or the bite of some good iced coffee. It took time getting comfortable living life sober and socializing sober, but today I don't care what the people around me drink.
Keep hanging in there Undies! Enjoy all the wonderful things this sober day offers!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Casey - I think it's wonderful that you're able to enjoy this quiet time. When I first quit I felt dull, gray, and blah. I had to learn how to embrace the quiet. It took work! .... Is the movie on Netflix too?
Soda water with a splash of real cranberry juice has become my go to drink this summer. So refreshing yet light!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Big hot steaming mug of tea and a slab of chocolate.
My reward for staying sober during a six hour dinner party hosted by friends we haven't seen for many months.
Two things :
1. Amp - thanks for posting about your experiences with your guests and especially their relative lack of interest in you not drinking alcohol.
This was exactly what I needed to hear as we prepared to go out to this party. It gave me just enough momentum to see me throug the first two offers of drinks from my hosts.
2: Accountability: I was thinking a lot about this as the evening progressed. Nobody, including Mrs F, would have minded or possibly even noticed, if I had had a small glass of wine.
But being accountable to this thread, and the Class of June, is a tangible and growing thing. More often than not, this is my primary defense against any niggling AV. Playing the tape forward or other rationalisations are either not necessary or there only to be deployed as a second line of defence.
So thank you.
The party was pleasant but had its expected mix of irritations and compromises. But the difference is I am home, present and reflective and looking forward to a solid nights sleep.
Much better than the alternative outcome from not so long ago.
So nice to have a Saturday night out, and not have to write off a whole Sunday as part of the deal
My reward for staying sober during a six hour dinner party hosted by friends we haven't seen for many months.
Two things :
1. Amp - thanks for posting about your experiences with your guests and especially their relative lack of interest in you not drinking alcohol.
This was exactly what I needed to hear as we prepared to go out to this party. It gave me just enough momentum to see me throug the first two offers of drinks from my hosts.
2: Accountability: I was thinking a lot about this as the evening progressed. Nobody, including Mrs F, would have minded or possibly even noticed, if I had had a small glass of wine.
But being accountable to this thread, and the Class of June, is a tangible and growing thing. More often than not, this is my primary defense against any niggling AV. Playing the tape forward or other rationalisations are either not necessary or there only to be deployed as a second line of defence.
So thank you.
The party was pleasant but had its expected mix of irritations and compromises. But the difference is I am home, present and reflective and looking forward to a solid nights sleep.
Much better than the alternative outcome from not so long ago.
So nice to have a Saturday night out, and not have to write off a whole Sunday as part of the deal
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Great post Fradley and great insight. I never stop feeling amazed at the timing of a post! Again and again I have seen and experienced someone posting something that is precisely what another needs to read at that moment.
Amp I've had that 'what not even wine?' Conversation so many times now! What part of ' I've stopped drinking' don't people get? Or do they seriously discount wine as alcohol?? Yeesh the quantities I quaffed nightly it sure as heck wasn't for the taste!! ( however much I convinced myself I was a connoisseur!! )
If you said you quit chocolate, would they ask 'what not ever brownies?'
Keep on keeping on Undies, I'm proud to know you all
Amp I've had that 'what not even wine?' Conversation so many times now! What part of ' I've stopped drinking' don't people get? Or do they seriously discount wine as alcohol?? Yeesh the quantities I quaffed nightly it sure as heck wasn't for the taste!! ( however much I convinced myself I was a connoisseur!! )
If you said you quit chocolate, would they ask 'what not ever brownies?'
Keep on keeping on Undies, I'm proud to know you all
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Great job Fradley!
I've found that when I've declined drinks offered to me, people respect it -- that is until yesterday. Believe it or not, 17 months into sobriety and there are still "firsts."
I was at a party with a few couples I don't know well. None of us do - our kids played on a team together this spring. There was a mix of people not drinking, people having one or two, and a couple of people who were buzzed right away.
An hour or two in, and the host brought out what appeared to be his entire liquor cabinet. He was making fancy flavored shots, and passing them out to guests. When I said no thanks, he pressed - and pressed and pressed - why I was passing.
I don't know him. He's never known me as a drinker. All the practice I've had saying "No thanks, I'm all set" didn't prepare me for what he said next, "Why not? Your husbands not drinking. Do you have a problem or something?"
Um....
Even at 17 months, I felt off kilter.
I called my sponsor. It made me feel good to chat with someone who can relate to how I felt. I was able to let it go and enjoy my next stop, a friend's birthday party at one of those art classes where a teacher leads everyone to paint a picture. I never expected letting go of my hurt and having fun in the moment to be a consequence of quitting drinking, but that's one of the amazing gifts recovery has offered me!
Have a great day enjoying all the amazing gifts recovery offers you today!
I've found that when I've declined drinks offered to me, people respect it -- that is until yesterday. Believe it or not, 17 months into sobriety and there are still "firsts."
I was at a party with a few couples I don't know well. None of us do - our kids played on a team together this spring. There was a mix of people not drinking, people having one or two, and a couple of people who were buzzed right away.
An hour or two in, and the host brought out what appeared to be his entire liquor cabinet. He was making fancy flavored shots, and passing them out to guests. When I said no thanks, he pressed - and pressed and pressed - why I was passing.
I don't know him. He's never known me as a drinker. All the practice I've had saying "No thanks, I'm all set" didn't prepare me for what he said next, "Why not? Your husbands not drinking. Do you have a problem or something?"
Um....
Even at 17 months, I felt off kilter.
I called my sponsor. It made me feel good to chat with someone who can relate to how I felt. I was able to let it go and enjoy my next stop, a friend's birthday party at one of those art classes where a teacher leads everyone to paint a picture. I never expected letting go of my hurt and having fun in the moment to be a consequence of quitting drinking, but that's one of the amazing gifts recovery has offered me!
Have a great day enjoying all the amazing gifts recovery offers you today!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Wow, Glee! That guy sounds like a real idiot! One to cross off the Christmas card list, eh? Sounds like the one with the problem is him! Well done for keeping your cool. Not sure how I would have reacted!
Glad things looked up for you after that!
Glad things looked up for you after that!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Yep, you handled that much better than I would have, Glee. After the third instance of him asking, someone would have been ripped a new...well, this is a family board, but you know what I mean. But I like your way better. Much better for my own peace of mind. Thanks for sharing!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Sometimes people feel their success as a host defines their worth as human beings I think, lol.
I've had people, who don't know me well enough, to continually ask me to try this or taste that.
I'm not sure if they have a drinking problem or not but they've always been drinking.
I just politely keep saying no.
Of course the irony is I then get a 'rude ' reputation....but I really don't mind as I doubt I'll see those folks again anyway,
D
I've had people, who don't know me well enough, to continually ask me to try this or taste that.
I'm not sure if they have a drinking problem or not but they've always been drinking.
I just politely keep saying no.
Of course the irony is I then get a 'rude ' reputation....but I really don't mind as I doubt I'll see those folks again anyway,
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
Originally Posted by amp123
I'm doing OK, thanks Toots. We've had friends staying since Monday. They're here enjoying a holiday and their kids are about the same ages as mine so everyone is having a good time. I just closed the doors to my office for the month of August so my holiday begins today too! My friends don't drink heavily but, hey, they're on holiday, right? So it's beer and wine pretty much with every meal. Last night was mojitos at the beach bar. I feel a bit out of the loop and obviously temptation is there but I'm pretty strong at the moment. Don't much enjoy sitting in bars when the rest are drinking, but I can do it. Of course, I was asked about my drinking but I just said I'd given up and they said, what? Everything? Even wine? I said, Yep, and that was it. All in all quite pleased with myself that I can keep this going. Feeling quite confident at the moment 
Hope you are all keeping well! Have a great weekend!
Hope you are all keeping well! Have a great weekend!
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Hi Undies and Popovers!
Awesome conversation...I can relate so much to the parties, reunions, dinners, the fizz of the popped cans, and the 'what- not even wine?". I wish I had taken a pic of every dropped-jaw reaction to my proclamation that I don't drink anymore when offered over the last couple of months.
That would make for quite the scrapbook- 'Dharma's First Year Sober'.
All summer it has been constant, the concept of 'drinking + holiday = relaxing,' or however one may spin the equation. It no longer describes me. I am sober 81 days and not looking back.
Most certainly some situations have been easier than others, but playing the tape through, coming to SR and Haribo bears
have helped me press on.
Awesome conversation...I can relate so much to the parties, reunions, dinners, the fizz of the popped cans, and the 'what- not even wine?". I wish I had taken a pic of every dropped-jaw reaction to my proclamation that I don't drink anymore when offered over the last couple of months.
That would make for quite the scrapbook- 'Dharma's First Year Sober'. All summer it has been constant, the concept of 'drinking + holiday = relaxing,' or however one may spin the equation. It no longer describes me. I am sober 81 days and not looking back.
Most certainly some situations have been easier than others, but playing the tape through, coming to SR and Haribo bears
have helped me press on.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Day 88 for me. Nothing new to report. My landlord and his family live just a thin wall away from me and their baby has been crying all morning. Not how I wanted to wake up but at least I'm not fighting a hangover on top of all that noise.
It's raining here right now--very rare occurrence in a hot West Texas summer. I work this evening. Will probably spend the day catching up on some television shows.
GnikNus -- congrats on 8 months. That is amazing and very inspiring to me.
BringingBackB -- so glad you decided to join us! Congrats on 19 days.
Wishing everyone a happy and sober start to the new week!
It's raining here right now--very rare occurrence in a hot West Texas summer. I work this evening. Will probably spend the day catching up on some television shows.
GnikNus -- congrats on 8 months. That is amazing and very inspiring to me.
BringingBackB -- so glad you decided to join us! Congrats on 19 days.
Wishing everyone a happy and sober start to the new week!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Gniknus congrats on 8 months!
Glee very cool of you to keep on and move on with your day after chatting with your sponsor.
I've had a busy weekend staying out late with a Friday Sat night then hung out with 3 sober friends yesterday all day and night till about 1AM.
Relaxin today spinning some new records and probably a little TV
Glee very cool of you to keep on and move on with your day after chatting with your sponsor.
I've had a busy weekend staying out late with a Friday Sat night then hung out with 3 sober friends yesterday all day and night till about 1AM.
Relaxin today spinning some new records and probably a little TV
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