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One Year and Under Club Part 47

Old 08-06-2015, 01:15 PM
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Thanks, Casey! The beauty of it all is that I'm no longer scared that I might drink again. I'm still aware of the risks but now feel much more "settled" and secure though still vigilant in a relaxed way :-)
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Old 08-06-2015, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Thanks, Casey! The beauty of it all is that I'm no longer scared that I might drink again. I'm still aware of the risks but now feel much more "settled" and secure though still vigilant in a relaxed way :-)
I gotcha. Though I'm a long ways from a year, I'm definitely feeling along those same lines. Drinking just isn't a viable option anymore. That part of my life is over, and I like the new one I'm building in recovery a lot more. No reason to go back.

While recovery is on my mind a lot these days, drinking isn't.
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Old 08-06-2015, 04:52 PM
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Yep, Casey, I totally agree :-)
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Old 08-06-2015, 04:58 PM
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Saskia, glad to hear it! It's nice to know that all the tools we've learned to recognize and deal with this really do help. Going straight to a doctor couldn't have been easy for you, so congrats! I hope you'll still visit us undies often!!

I'm feeling pretty settled these days too. I'm still being very careful in case that AV creeps up, but I have to say I feel like I've really found my footing and I'm enjoying my sober life to the fullest. The only thing I'm sad about is how much time I missed while I was drinking that I could have enjoyed like this! It's a weird change from those first few weeks and kind of white knuckling through not drinking to actually not wanting to drink at all.
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Old 08-06-2015, 05:02 PM
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Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary Saskia!

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Old 08-06-2015, 05:11 PM
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Saskia - Congratulations on your year of sobriety. Thanks for always listening, being there to lean on, and giving back. You approach your sobriety - and life in general - with quiet dignity and decency that I admire.

A year of sobriety seemed so far away when I first got sober. My first year didn't fly by (not even close). I realized that the key was enjoying the moment - instead of wishing it away to the next accomplishment. I realized I'd always been so focused on what's "next" that I didn't experience what's "now." I missed out on a lot living that way. I try to nudge myself back into the moment when my mind forward trips. I don't do this perfectly or even well, but when I manage to stop and smell the flowers I feel like I'm living right.
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Old 08-06-2015, 06:06 PM
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Hi, I'm new to this thread. I'm trying to get a little bit more exposure to some additional groups on SR and this thread has been inspiring to read through. I didn't go back very far but it's nice to see someone complete a year sober. I don't know anyone in my life who has ever done that so it is inspiring to see.

A little about me for those of you who don't know me...

I'm 38, been drinking regularly since I was 18 or so. First experience with sobriety was January 2012...56 days. Second was October 2014...28 days. Third was May 2015...35 days. Fell back into the weekend drinking pattern in mid June and still trying to work that out within myself due to an actively drinking husband.

I am active on the May 2015 and August 2015 threads and looking for some more inspiration on this thread. :-)

I hope to someday get to the point where alcohol is no longer a focus point in my life. I wish I was the girl who could socialize without feeling like alcohol is a necessity to make me feel like socializing.

I know the benefits of sobriety since I've done it and I cherish every sober day.
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Old 08-06-2015, 07:26 PM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Welcome, AllieKat! I hope you find this group as supportive as I did. I didn't think I would ever reach this point in my life. It took everything and the kitchen sink for me to get to this point. And - I am simply thrilled with how much better I feel. Never, ever give up trying. You are worth it!
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Old 08-06-2015, 08:10 PM
  # 289 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by site1Q84 View Post
Saskia, glad to hear it! It's nice to know that all the tools we've learned to recognize and deal with this really do help. Going straight to a doctor couldn't have been easy for you, so congrats! I hope you'll still visit us undies often!!
Absolutely, Site - I've needed many tools to get here. Going to the doc right away was actually quite easy because I thought it through and realized that I didn't want to go through all that effort again to stop. I have absolutely NO illusions that I can moderate! I'm now living in a retirement community and although there is a fair amount of cocktail hour activity, it would be difficult to hide regular drinking! Almost nobody has questioned me about it or hassled me. When offered, I very simply decline by saying "No, thanks". If any persistence (rare), then I respond "No thanks, I don't drink". Saying that reinforces my desire to stay sober and the message has gotten across. Only rarely now am I offered a drink :-)
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Old 08-06-2015, 08:38 PM
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Welcome to the Undies, AllieKat! This is an amazing group here, and I'm glad you've decided to join us.

Saskia, there is a newcomer on the August 2015 thread who is struggling who is using the same avatar as you. It makes me pause every single time they post as I have to think, "Uh oh, Saskia really sounds like she's in trouble." I hope some of the good juju in your use of the avatar rubs off on them too.
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Old 08-07-2015, 01:00 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Congratulations sassie on your graduation to the overs!
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Old 08-07-2015, 01:12 AM
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Congratulations Saskia, 1 whole year!

Welcome AllieKat. Your avatar is brill btw.
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Old 08-07-2015, 01:39 AM
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Hey Saskia! Is it a year today? So happy for you.

Ally! Nice to have you here! It sounds like you know sobriety is the best way for you. I've found a whole load of support and wisdom on this thread which has contributed heavily to my still being here since April. It's a short but extremely significant time for me which I value greatly and work hard to protect. What plan do you have to help you succeed this time? Having an actively drinking partner must be tough. My wife drinks but only a little from time to time so it's not too much of a problem. If she was a big hitter I think I'd find it much harder!

Stay in touch and let us know how you're getting on
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Old 08-07-2015, 03:16 AM
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Yes, Amp, today is really one year! I've been so excited to reach this milestone that I started the sober celebration a few days early, lol!
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Old 08-07-2015, 03:37 AM
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CONGRATULATIONS, SASS!
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:02 AM
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A year is massive Saskia! You should celebrate for a month!

Roll out the ice cream and cream cakes and let the tea rain liberally on all!!!

Do you have any special treat planned for your celebration?
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:30 AM
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😎

I am trying to lose some excess weight so I won't go overboard on the food, lol! I am celebrating, though. I'm finding my mind wandering in thinking about my journey and all of the twists and turns. Within the past week I feel like I've reached a new level in my sober life. Since my last slip I've had meds available to block the effects of alcohol. By itself, I don't believe that the meds would have helped significantly. It's only by using them *after* everything else I have done that they helped me over that last hump. I no longer need them though I'll keep a few around As a security blanket.

Though it's impossible to rank order the things that have helped me to get to this point, some highlights: getting over (mostly) the feelings of shame about being an alcoholic; accepting that I simply cannot drink, ever again; thinking a scenario through to the end ahead of time; making sure I have support.

For example, here's how my thinking has evolved about an upcoming event (a wine and cheese party): I want to go for reasons *other than drinking* (if there weren't other reasons, I wouldn't go), I could take a pill an hour before it starts and then have some wine; hmmm, I would feel fuzzy, not buzzed and it wouldn't add to my enjoyment of the event; that doesn't sound like fun; hmmm, how would I feel if I skipped the pill and skipped the wine?; that would be much better! Ok, I know I can do this!

Taking meds has helped me to associate alcoholism with a medical condition instead of thinking of it as a moral failing. I don't think everyone needs this but since my gastric bypass, my ability to deal with alcohol has dropped into seriously negative territory. I wanted to share the thinking evolution I've gone through because for me that is the foundation of staying sober.
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:51 AM
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It's always interesting to hear about other people's paths, Saskia. We all have to find our own way.

My own journey hasn't included any meds so far. It's been a hard battle which I look at as my true self versus a deep rooted addiction and, importantly, heavily ingrained behaviour patterns. Intellectualising my struggles and meditating on them has helped me arrive at a place of relative peace.

Of course it is still early days for me and I am yet to reach the 4 month mark but I have already come much further than I would have thought possible just 16 weeks ago. I feel perhaps like a fish that has slipped out of an ever closing suffocating net. I feel lucky, even blessed, and hope with all my heart never to become ensnared again!

Wishing you all well and hoping to hear a few other stories of your own journeys so far (?)!

Enjoy the day
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:57 AM
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I agree, Amp. No two journeys through this maze are the same. I think it is trial and error to find what works for each of us. What matters is the destination. You sound "settled" and dedicated to staying sober. Although there are no guarantees, your attitude is a strong indicator of success.
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Old 08-07-2015, 05:17 AM
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Thanks for the warm welcome!
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