Class of April 2015 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Well, just got back from a 10km run along the beach. After all the driving yesterday I thought I could do with loosening up. While I was out a couple of things dawned on me...
First that Incontrol and I make 8 weeks today and that cauliflower does the same tomorrow.
Second that one of my arms is a bit stiff (probably from the driving yesterday). Anyway, when I run my mind tends to wander a bit so first I had this paranoia about how a pain in your arm is a symptom that you might be going to have a heart attack, but since I'm used to my own paranoid tendencies I ignored myself and continued running. The thought process continued to the question about, were I to drop down dead (I know, I scare myself too) would my final thoughts be, "Man, I can't believe I just wasted my last eight weeks trying to get sober when I could have been partying!"...or something different... And then I realized that I wouldn't think that at all. In fact I'd probably think the opposite. That the last 8 weeks have been the most worthwhile thing I've done and I would only wish that I had started sooner.
Don't know if that makes any sense but it brought home to me how important all this is.
Have a great day!!!
First that Incontrol and I make 8 weeks today and that cauliflower does the same tomorrow.
Second that one of my arms is a bit stiff (probably from the driving yesterday). Anyway, when I run my mind tends to wander a bit so first I had this paranoia about how a pain in your arm is a symptom that you might be going to have a heart attack, but since I'm used to my own paranoid tendencies I ignored myself and continued running. The thought process continued to the question about, were I to drop down dead (I know, I scare myself too) would my final thoughts be, "Man, I can't believe I just wasted my last eight weeks trying to get sober when I could have been partying!"...or something different... And then I realized that I wouldn't think that at all. In fact I'd probably think the opposite. That the last 8 weeks have been the most worthwhile thing I've done and I would only wish that I had started sooner.
Don't know if that makes any sense but it brought home to me how important all this is.
Have a great day!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Makes sense to me Amp.
Sometimes I get a little depressed because I wish I had started sobriety sooner. Then my rational side kicks in and says why be sad that I didn't start sooner when I could be happy that I am finally sober!?
Crazy way of thinking. Really proves to me how destructive my own thought processes can be.
Well...gonna get out of bed and start me day.
Have a great day everyone!
None for me today.
Sometimes I get a little depressed because I wish I had started sobriety sooner. Then my rational side kicks in and says why be sad that I didn't start sooner when I could be happy that I am finally sober!?
Crazy way of thinking. Really proves to me how destructive my own thought processes can be.
Well...gonna get out of bed and start me day.
Have a great day everyone!
None for me today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Amp and Inc. the way you are thinking just proves that you are in a great place in your life, like you finally found the one path that always eluded you. To me, it's similar to my being jealous of my friends who are celebrating their ridiculously long marriage, something like 20 years and they are in their late 30's. They met "the one" in grade 7. I wish that I met my husband in grade 7, well that would be weird because he is 11 years older!. I realize that I can't change that, so I am just grateful to have the time that we have had together, and make the most out of everyday. We can only be grateful for the present, and presently we are sober!
Day 55, half way through the month of June and in just two short weeks my son will be done school for the summer. Last night, when we were planning our summer vacation out east, my husband said to me, "To bad you quit drinking, you could visit some wineries." I just responded, "Been there, done that!" He backtracked his insensitive comment though and we talked about why I quit, and I was relieved to get it out in the open. He is very happy that I am living sober.
Oh, yes, my step monster visit should be interesting. She drinks a lot of wine, so much so that with what I know now, I know she has a problem. She has all the classic symptoms, yet she constantly talks about her alcoholic sisters. She is not a binge drinker, but she drinks daily. Back in the day when she first met my dad, she used to drink wine in tea cups and empty coke cans! Her anxiety will go through the roof when she realizes that I have no wine, and have no intention of picking any up. Maybe she won’t visit often knowing she can’t drink here, so it’s a win win.
Ok, time to get some work done! I love my life! Have a great day everyone!
Day 55, half way through the month of June and in just two short weeks my son will be done school for the summer. Last night, when we were planning our summer vacation out east, my husband said to me, "To bad you quit drinking, you could visit some wineries." I just responded, "Been there, done that!" He backtracked his insensitive comment though and we talked about why I quit, and I was relieved to get it out in the open. He is very happy that I am living sober.
Oh, yes, my step monster visit should be interesting. She drinks a lot of wine, so much so that with what I know now, I know she has a problem. She has all the classic symptoms, yet she constantly talks about her alcoholic sisters. She is not a binge drinker, but she drinks daily. Back in the day when she first met my dad, she used to drink wine in tea cups and empty coke cans! Her anxiety will go through the roof when she realizes that I have no wine, and have no intention of picking any up. Maybe she won’t visit often knowing she can’t drink here, so it’s a win win.
Ok, time to get some work done! I love my life! Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Lol...step monster.
And the wine in coke cans is funny. One of my favorite episodes of "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" had them all drinking wine out of coke cans. Freakin hilarious episode that also included a very funny "intervention" for Frank (Danny Devito).
And the wine in coke cans is funny. One of my favorite episodes of "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" had them all drinking wine out of coke cans. Freakin hilarious episode that also included a very funny "intervention" for Frank (Danny Devito).
just checking in. Happy fun day Monday everyone !!! Things are going good on this end. Hope the same for all of you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Just saying good night.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and I am trying my hardest to ignore the old AV...its like I feel as though I am giving myself permission to have a glass of wine tomorrow. I know in my heart that I will struggle with the decision, I don't want to take that first drink. I am so scared of this addiction, its grip is so strong, I hope I am stronger.
If by chance I find myself in a difficult situation, I will take a walk, or sneak away for a cigarette. I won't and don't have any wine in my home, so its my safe place. Having to plan ahead for situations that may not even transpire is actually causing me unnecessary anxiety! This sucks. Tomorrow will be tough emotionally as it is, then add the whole not drinking thing into the mix, augh. I will check in often.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and I am trying my hardest to ignore the old AV...its like I feel as though I am giving myself permission to have a glass of wine tomorrow. I know in my heart that I will struggle with the decision, I don't want to take that first drink. I am so scared of this addiction, its grip is so strong, I hope I am stronger.
If by chance I find myself in a difficult situation, I will take a walk, or sneak away for a cigarette. I won't and don't have any wine in my home, so its my safe place. Having to plan ahead for situations that may not even transpire is actually causing me unnecessary anxiety! This sucks. Tomorrow will be tough emotionally as it is, then add the whole not drinking thing into the mix, augh. I will check in often.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey Cauliflower! It is your decision to stay sober because you decide whether or not you pick up that first drink. The loss of a dear friend is bad enough. Don't let it take your sobriety too! Stay strong for his memory, for yourself and for those around you.
Everyone here is feeling for you and rooting for you right now. Prove to yourself that you CAN stay sober even in the absolutely most adverse circumstances. Remember your strategies, get out for those walks, count down the hours, eat sweet stuff when you feel really tempted! We're al rooting for you!
Everyone here is feeling for you and rooting for you right now. Prove to yourself that you CAN stay sober even in the absolutely most adverse circumstances. Remember your strategies, get out for those walks, count down the hours, eat sweet stuff when you feel really tempted! We're al rooting for you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
Originally Posted by Cauliflower 
Just saying good night.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and I am trying my hardest to ignore the old AV...its like I feel as though I am giving myself permission to have a glass of wine tomorrow. I know in my heart that I will struggle with the decision, I don't want to take that first drink. I am so scared of this addiction, its grip is so strong, I hope I am stronger.
If by chance I find myself in a difficult situation, I will take a walk, or sneak away for a cigarette. I won't and don't have any wine in my home, so its my safe place. Having to plan ahead for situations that may not even transpire is actually causing me unnecessary anxiety! This sucks. Tomorrow will be tough emotionally as it is, then add the whole not drinking thing into the mix, augh. I will check in often.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and I am trying my hardest to ignore the old AV...its like I feel as though I am giving myself permission to have a glass of wine tomorrow. I know in my heart that I will struggle with the decision, I don't want to take that first drink. I am so scared of this addiction, its grip is so strong, I hope I am stronger.
If by chance I find myself in a difficult situation, I will take a walk, or sneak away for a cigarette. I won't and don't have any wine in my home, so its my safe place. Having to plan ahead for situations that may not even transpire is actually causing me unnecessary anxiety! This sucks. Tomorrow will be tough emotionally as it is, then add the whole not drinking thing into the mix, augh. I will check in often.
Someone said on here 'that its the first drink that's the problem not the last' that helps me so hoping it might help you too...
Keep us updated with how you are getting on...
M
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Congrats angie - way to go.
Cauliflower, try to remember all the little weapons that you have in your arsenal against the AV and baby steps.
Well, I cant say "catch up laggers" this morning, but I can say catch up ZAB
Cauliflower, try to remember all the little weapons that you have in your arsenal against the AV and baby steps.
Well, I cant say "catch up laggers" this morning, but I can say catch up ZAB
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