amp123

Cauliflower! So glad it went off well! You have proven something important and honoured your friend's memory by staying sober yesterday.

Johnny!! Truly great to see you again! I was wondering where you'd been! Don't be a stranger!!

OMD

Hi all,
Quick check in from me.

Glad to see you're back Johnny. You can rant at me any day of the week

Have a good day everyone. I also need to think about checking in with family.

None for me today.

Best wishes

OMD

martina12

Morning all

Welcome back Johnny! By rights I should be in the June class as well and I have dipped my toe in there but I really like it here

Cauli well done you for getting through yesterday without a drink that really is awesome!

New bathroom going in today so I am quite excited...already done a trip to the dump and got a really cheesy chat up line by a guy at the dump....groan!

Have a good day all...

Just thought that Canguy hasn't been around lately or have I missed him?

M

Viperidae

Casey thank you for the very kind words. You're right, the hard part for me is not detox and not the physical attachment. I described it in the other group. The hard part is being sober and aware that I really screwed up my life. Yes I have mental issues , and yes they can get bad, but boozing didn't exactly help (wink). I'm not in a good position in life. Also, realizing what an obnoxious person I've been isn't fun.

I've been relying on a person who is toxic and used every opportunity to show me I'm a failure or to say that I am not capable of things. This is my father. He's now utterly off his rocker and worse than ever. I'd consider him a 'crackpot.' I kept going back thinking he'd magically change.

Now he is out of the loop on most of my actions because he will get me so angry or anxious, that I prove him right and just drink. I think he wants me to succeed, but has zero self awareness. Doesn't know he's done this crap my whole life. Plus he starts drinking pint glasses of crappy Australian wine at 4pm. His brain is mush.

More on that to come.

Got to go get some things done. Tired of dealing with this issue of foot pain. Driving 45 minutes to deal with these thieves that cannot deliver what they promise.

Viperidae

I did it again. INCONTROL thank you. I'm really scattered. I'll get more focused in a week of 2. 'Casey' is in the other group and I was commenting on his post.

Dee, for people like me we need to increase the editing time on here.

Lily123

Johnny - I have some issues with my dad as well. Family can be really complicated. My brother is also an alcoholic and has been in several treatment centers. My dad paid for them (supported my brother financially) and uses it as a tool to talk down to my brother. He is emotionally abusive. My brother has been doing extremely well over the past year. He has reached out to other family members (aunts/uncles) for emotional support and rarely sees my dad. sometimes it's best to keep people at a distance. Not sure if that really related....just made me think of some things.

you guys are gonna laugh.... When I read your comments I have certain voices/accents I hear when I read them. I guess that's true when I read a book. Realized I did it the other day and it made me laugh. Anywho.

Morning to you all, today is off to a good start. Have a speech today, feeling pretty good about it. Take care.

Incontrol15

Didn't want to get out of bed on this cold and rainy day. Feeling the blues again. I should have gone for a run. Instead I'm doing the next best thing...treating myself to a yummy breakfast for lunch. Can't wait for my bacon to arrive.

None for me today.

martina12

My new bath is in whoop whoop!!! I can't actually have a bath yet though because the sealant has to set solid. I have bought some luxury bubble bath and can't wait to get in...

Lily I read the posts and imagine the accents as well I am guessing you are American?

I read Angie's, IC's, OMD's and Johnny's with American accents.

ZaB with SA accent

Canguy and Cauliflower with a Canadian accent.

Amp I reckon has an English accent despite living in Spain...I don't know why I think this, just do!

Dee with an Aussie accent and Soberwolf with English....apologies for anyone I have forgotten!

AV rather louder than I liked today so just had to have a Magnum ice cream instead

ZaBoozer

Mmmm, sorry to disappoint, but I don't have an accent. Although I have spent many years here in SA, I was not born here. Add to that, I have spent a lot of my working life out of SA. So I am accent less.

amp123

My accent is London, England but fairly neutral. I remember Canguy talking about time zones and think he is Australian?

I also had a Magnum today. Almond and chocolate. The business!

Cauliflower

I am a totally changed person today because of the legacy that he left. I always knew he was a special man, but seeing all those people, it really touched me. He lived a simple life, he had a grade 8 education but landed himself a good job with the government, and he was able to retire after 28 years of hard work. He was kind and generous. He was an old fashioned kind of guy who would keep in touch with his friends by dropping in and visiting. He did not text, he wasn't on facebook, he actually detested facebook. He didn't feel the need to broadcast to the world what he was doing, he didn't need that validation. He has inspired me, and no doubt hundreds of people, to be a better person.

Cauliflower

I don't think I have an accent. My sister who is Canadian, lived in Manchester for almost 20 years and she had a slight English accent, but it's mostly just the sayings and slang that make me laugh, like when she says she is "nipping into the loo". She says my husband has a thick Canadian accent, but I don't know what one sounds like.

It's pouring rain right now, which is nice because it's been hot and muggy all day. It's probably my fault too, because I wished for it so that we don't have to go to soccer tonight! My bad.

I am keeping busy today, cleaning up this crazy house of mine...don't know where my mind has been lately, but omg, my house is in tatters. I am thankful for no hangover today, and I love being sober. I also forgot to mention that my parents did not come and stay here, so my higher power was playing intervention with my life again and saved me that hassle of extra stress.

amp123

Cauliflower! So happy you are coming through this troubled time and maintaining your positivity. Maybe your friend's final gift to you is this. His passing is the most absolute evidence that you can get through any situation and remain sober and, indeed, rejoice in your sobriety the next day.

Happy for you.

My aunt is Canadian and has lived in the UK for around 40 years. She still conserves a slight Canadian accent but I wonder if she sounds British to her family back home...

OMD

Hi all,
Well there have been some inspiring and thought provoking posts as usual so thank you to everyone for making me think about things and reminding me how important it is to stay focused. I am reminded yet again of how fortunate I am to be in this class. There is a whole history of alcoholism in my family but that is for another day, maybe. I was thinking earlier (yes, again) that I would be fine to go back to just having a drink when [insert random situation]. It is complete nonsense but as I have posted before I do miss one friend who has simply dropped off my radar since I quit. So in that world I would meet up and drink with him and then not again until the next time.

Anyway that is not going to happen. I am not going to forget the journey and how far I have come, but I need to find a way through this particular situation. Business maybe suffers a bit but that's fine, I can live with that.

All in all, I am much happier being sober, and my life is so much improved I cannot begin to tell you. I just need to keep reminding myself that this is the case. Perversely, when I read other people's posts it is so obvious that whatever the situation, booze is not the solution. As if my situation is different!

Right, enough rambling for one day. I am going to straighten things out in my head for a bit. Tomorrow is another day. Take care everyone.

None for me today.

OMD

Viperidae

Well I had a big post for you guys, I got 'timed out.' Had to reload the page, ended up on May.... And pasted the text in there. Now I look like an idiot in 2 different months. This should clear up after 2 weeks sober and I get more accurate. Hard to believe that a night of hard drinking puts me back where I was when I was drinking all the time.

For anyone wondering what drinking feels like, I'll tell you. Go to the bar and sit alone like a loser. Talk to bartenders or anyone who will listen. The first couple feel good, then it gets dark. It gets blurry. You make an ass out of yourself and reinforce your reputation as a lush when you see friends at the liquor store. You end up alone, sitting in front of a bottle. You're unable to focus your eyes on the TV. You pour another glass. It feels like someone with a long pole is holding you down at the bottom of a deep swimming pool. You don't even try to escape, you're just there. In fact, breathing some water in, seems like a very attractive idea. At some point a noise jostles you on your chair and you realize you've passed out. That evil bird, the one that reminds you that you're a total scumbag, is singing outside, 20 minutes before dawn. You get from the chair to the bed somehow, because you wake up in the bed. You hate yourself.


That 'sit at the bar alone' part we taken from another persons post.

Dee74

when you sign in Johnny do you have the remember me box ticked?

ps I don't think you look like an idiot.

D

Viperidae

That thing about drinking was inspired by a list of the bad things that happen when a person drinks. Someone put it in the newcomers. When they get the urge to drink, they get out a journal and make a list of all of the things that happen if they do. They keep listing until the urge is gone. It's very clever. So that's my version above.

I'm so scattered today. That med makes me nutty as heck. Anxiety is a side effect. I've been losing weight and the med is the reason. I kind of want to keep losing, so that's slowing me down on getting a new doctor. I did a lot of running around today, but I was batty. I've never been nervous driving in my life. When I was super hung over driving made me nervous, but it usually never did. Now I'm getting nervous on the roads all the time.

That other post that I mistakenly put in May was very long and ridiculous. A huge rant. OMD, you'd like it.

Lily - that thing with your brother and father is exactly what I'm talking about.

Ok, time to try to sleep. Thanks.

Dee74

If you want me to move it here just say the word, Johnny.

D

Viperidae

Dee, I'm not sure. It knows who I am. I don't sign in, I'm always signed in. But then I get timed out. Sometimes I am doing other things online, facebook or whatever and it takes me an hour to do the post. So it tells me to reload the page. Just hitting refresh doesn't help. If I go to the User CP tab, Groups Subscribed, and click April, it resets it and I am able to post. I usually save when I am posting by hitting Command V on the Mac because I am used to losing posts and that way I just paste it back in. This time I went to User CP, and selected May instead of April. To prevent the confusion I Unsubscribed to May for now.

Dee74

I've never been logged off after being logged on on here sometimes 12 hours or so, so something's wrong somewhere Johnny.

D