mayg

Lovely to see everyone here. I am going to make it to Day 10 tomorrow here as I have to take one of mine to train tonight and another for an exam early tomorrow so that's my plan, even if I didn't make it. Still it is nice to be more available. I have a *lot* of work to do next week, a clear head would help but then if I get it done... well I'll deal with AV voice if that happens (if?? it's already starting :-) Pavlov's dog, I really am. I spent more time thinking about smoking today than drinking. Still, I know very well that it's never one or the other for me. Sigh.
A bee hive would freak me out a bit but yes, very good that it's not wasps.
Let's all wake up tomorrow without a hangover guys
Mayg

JimdiGriz

Well got 10 days then screwed up.. One night.. Not too much and hated myself within 20 minutes. Felt the craving coming as I drove home after a long week, hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day, hot and thirsty.. Av spotted an opportunity.. Should have called an aa contact but the concept of asking for help is a bit foreign! Anyway soooo much happier to wake fresh and sober in the sunshine today..

tiredofme

Good morning

Totally agree on the 50 shops Julie72 my closest at barely 100 meters away opens at 6am and closes at 11pm 7 days a week handy if you run out of milk way to handy when the cravings hit. One embarrassing moment there when I wasn't buying wine (honest) an assistant said to me about a wine offer *I was thinking of you when I put them out nooo* I thought I hid my purchases well.

Dee74

I really had to work on my asking for help skills Jim - but when the alternative is drinking again, I think asking for help is not too bad?

D

ChickNB

Woke today for day 7 of being sober. This is the longest streak I have had in... Well I don't remember how long. Made it through a Friday and Saturday night so far and just have to get through today for my first full weekend. Not having any alcohol in my system gives me more strength to handle the compulsive little nagging voice in my head telling me to drink. Let's go class of June!

mayg

Well done ChickNB, that is fantastic. It is Sunday night here and I am off to bed early which feels a bit like cheating but whatever it takes to have my first sober weekend in.. I honestly can't remember. I was always going to start on Monday.
Go you!!
Mayg

tiredofme

Well done Chick and mayg

Still lunchtime here had a stressful morning but determined not to cave like I did last Sunday I do not want another 2 day headache.

SansaS

Well done everyone! Hope you're all enjoying a sober weekend. It's a long weekend here so looking forward to a sleep in tomorrow. Sleep ins without hangovers are the best.

Dee74

Congrats Chick - and everyone - enjoy the rest of your weekend

D

Dee74

Congrats Chick - and everyone - enjoy the rest of your weekend

D

forabetterlife

I was just lurking and no intention of posting until
I read this, Dee. Two days of not drinking and I was right back at it. Didn't ask for help, didn't post, just bought the wine and here and I am 4 days later, hating myself. I feel like a phony, drinking so much, hiding it from everyone, and putting up this front that I've got it all together.

So here I am posting, reaching out. I just don't understand why I crave it so much when it does nothing good for me. Nature of addiction, I know, but it's confusing. Today I want to drink to alleve the effects of yesterday's consumption and to just continue the fog. If I get through today, tomorrow I will feel great and before I know it I Will want to drink to relax, to settle down, or just because I CAN. I want off this rollercoaster.
Thanks for reading, as you can tell, I'm feeling desperate.

bblackbirdflyy

Hi all. 10 am here. I got another full nights sleep and woke up on my 9th day with no regrets. I'm feeling calm and happier. The emotions that drive me to drink are short lived.

Hugs to all that are struggling, keep trying! I have had my fair share of the struggle. Whenever I try to get sober and pick up I look at the drink of choice and think to myself "why?" Then glug, glug, glug, then the questions stop and I'm back to square one.

Troy I'm not sure that I'd set fire to the bee hive either. Smart choice lol.

Tonight starts my 3 overnight shifts at the hospital. Which used to mean I was safe from drinking, until I started to have a few (6-10) when I got off in the morning, leaving me destroyed for the next night. So I'll be checking in to steer clear of the gas stations on the way home.

Best wishes

TroyW

Sorry to hear you're struggling forabetterlife, but please, don't ever hesitate to post here. If anyone on this planet fully understands, it's the folks on SR. Nearly everyone here has either been there, or is currently there.

Hope you manage to find some sobriety and peace soon. Have you maybe thought about in-patient? Just to give you a nice little head start?

TroyW

Yeah, I can definitely relate to that, and going through similar right now. Went to the shops earlier today just to get some water, coffee, cigs, and rice. By the time I got to the counter, he already had a 1L bottle of whiskey and 2 packs of cigs sitting there for me. Hmmm....

forabetterlife

Troy & tiredofme, I can so relate to that embarrassment. A couple of weeks ago I stopped at the gas station in the morning and bought a diet coke and he said to me , "too early for beer?". I wanted to die. And, he lost my business.
Inpatient is not an option for me or my life right now, but thanks for the thought, Troy. I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. I love being sober, I truly do. I just have to stop procrastinating and making excuses.

TroyW

Wow, great (and humbling) to see how much energy many are putting into this. Congrats everyone!

1am here, so another day down. This means out of the past 7 days, I've been slightly buzzed for 1.79% of the time (3 hours), and otherwise sober and not drinking. Not bad considering I was drunk literally 100% of the time before.

heh, I'm quite happy, because I never thought I was capable of this. Looks like I maybe am though. Little early to tell, because I have yet to begin living and putting myself through the paces again, but I think I'll be ok. I know my mind is still clearing, but I never want that heavy cloud of fog on my brain again.

Hope everyone else is enjoying a good, sober weekend.

tiredofme

Great going Troy well done on another day yay.

Forabetterlife keep going it can only get better.

Well today was tough not so much cravings but very emotional just like last Sunday why Sundays ? . Drinking seemed a great option just to get out of my head for a bit. Nearly said why not what does it matter anyway least you feel OK for a bit ahhhh. OK for a bit maybe or maybe not (it's made my mood worse a fair few times too) but it would make me feel a lot more depressed for days after that's if I stop at one night this is really hard at times.

Anyway going to bed to read and watch some Netflix hoping tomorrow I will feel better. Really think the tiredness is a part of why I get so emotionally drained and why I keep slipping. I really need to make sure I give myself time to get over that relapses are just prolonging recovery.

Enough of my pitty party I am really thankful for this group ,SR and that I am
going to bed sober it really does beat the other option.

bblackbirdflyy

Goodnight troy.

Yes, on being embarrassed by cashiers. "Breakfast of Champions" "oh do you only get beer after your shift on Fridays?" I die a little inside. (No just every other day) Must be a trip to see someone in hospital scrubs buying beer at 7:30am tho.

Tiredofme, sleep has worked wonders for me so far.

tiredofme

Hope your shift goes we'll blackbird

Those embarrassing moments are awful sure won't miss them I am more sure now I have not hidden my drinking as well as what I thought I did.

forabetterlife

So anxious to get this day over with and wake up tomorrow feeling rested and clear again. Why do I put myself through this time and time again?