Originally Posted by
Dee74 
I really had to work on my asking for help skills Jim - but when the alternative is drinking again, I think asking for help is not too bad?
D
I was just lurking and no intention of posting until
I read this, Dee. Two days of not drinking and I was right back at it. Didn't ask for help, didn't post, just bought the wine and here and I am 4 days later, hating myself. I feel like a phony, drinking so much, hiding it from everyone, and putting up this front that I've got it all together.
So here I am posting, reaching out. I just don't understand why I crave it so much when it does nothing good for me. Nature of addiction, I know, but it's confusing. Today I want to drink to alleve the effects of yesterday's consumption and to just continue the fog. If I get through today, tomorrow I will feel great and before I know it I Will want to drink to relax, to settle down, or just because I CAN. I want off this rollercoaster.
Thanks for reading, as you can tell, I'm feeling desperate.